It gotten dark already when Hyukjae sneaked out to the balcony of Kyuhyun's mansion 'as he liked to call it' . Kyuhyun went to take a fast shower, he said he'd not take long. but Hyukjae was glad to be left a lone for some time. he doesnt know what gotten into him to Lose control on his emotions, he's never like this, always contained and stren looking to everyone. 

Donghae done this to him. somehow, his head is full with him, everything is about him. if he remembers the first time he saw Donghae,
Dancing at Siwon's birthday part, he would never thought that he'd be this much in love with the same guy. not denying having a crush over him since then, not denying how much happy he was to see him at the engagemnt part again. 

Hyukjae asked around about Donghae, first his name, then his work. just randomly in the conversation with Siwon he tried to bring up Donghae and Siwon was always happy to talk about his best friend and brag about him. Hyukjae used it to his benefit, knowing how bad it was, he thought himself as a stalker but then as someone who met his crush after a long time, it was justified. 

he wanted to laugh at himself then. a thought crossed his mind. what if he could turn back time, would he do it all over again or  would he go back to his usual life. to continue travelling and dancing abroad?

"What are you doing here, it's getting cold" 

Kyuhyun showed up wearing a gray trouser and black tshirt, he looked bale in the dark. his friend was always there for him. even though he knew Kyuhyun loves him, he couldnt but be selfish and still keep him as a friend. sometimed he feels bad for his friend but
he doesnt complain. 
once they spoke about it while they were drunk, obviously Kyuhyun was more drunk that he didn't remember the next day. Kyuhyun said he'd rather be a best friend than to lose him and that's how he stayed for Hyukjae all these years, the best bestfriend.

Hyukjae took a step forward and another, reaching to Kyuhyun. when he reached to the taller, he took him in a hug "Thank you" Hyujae whispered, feeling how Khyuhyun tensed with the sudden hug, he released him and looked up with a smile "for always being there for me... Thank you" Hyukjae said and together went inside the house to the dining room. 

Kyuhyun didnt respond to Hyukjae's sudden appreciation. it felt strange and it did sting his heart but then, Hyukjae needs him and he will be there for him. 

food was spread all over the table, it smelled good "Thank you aunty" Hyukjae thanked the old house maid "but it's too much for just the two of us" Hyukjae looked at Kyuhyun shrugging.

" she loves you, i can't tell her not to" Kyuhyun giggled and sat next to Hyukjae on the large dining table which could be enough for about ten people or more. 

"I don't know what to eat first" Hyukjae wondered, looking at the delicious food all around the table. he picked some of the rice and chicken and kept it into his bowl. 

Kyuhyun too started to eat while stealing glances at Hyukjae "You're not eating" the rice on Hyukjae's bowl was the same amount.
hyukjae only pcked at his spoon without eating. 

"Sorry..." Hyukjae murmured and ate a big spoonful of rice which made him choke and start coughing.

"Jae.." Kyuhyun reached for a water and handed it to his friend then caressed his back "Are you okay" Kyuhyun asked worried and relaxed when hyukjae nodded. 

"Sorry" hyukjae apologized again.

Kyuhyun felt upset "Stop apologizing Jae, it's really getting into me" Kyuhyun started angrily "Tell me what happened please, who's  thatguy you ran away from" he asked and got closer to Hyukjae's seat. 

looking at him with determinedly, Kyuhyun looked really worriy and would not back down without knowing what happened. Hyukjae knew how stubborn his friend is "Remember it told you about that guy" hyukjae started but Kyuhyun just frowned "my crush" Hyukjae admitted.

"Ohh... " 

"Yes, It's him" Hyukjae had a bitter smile on his face "I think it's not a crush anymore" he continued and avoided Kyuhyun's eyes. he didn't want to see the hurt in his friend's eyes when he say this "I so in love with him" he said and closed his eyes with his hands 
"i'm so ed up, i don't know what