I didn’t think that I would ever kiss girls. I never thought that they would have to kiss in a ton vet. But who knew that my mother would marry again and that my future father would have a daughter. And who knew that this girl, in revenge on my harmless words, would kiss me?!

Yerin .

We have developed a rather complicated relationship with her. At first I didn’t know how to adapt to her, for some reason she began to be jealous of me and in the end we seemed to be like a couple. It seems that she thinks so, on my part, it is more difficult here.

I really fell in love with her.

I became addicted to the kisses she allows.

I became addicted to her touches and looks.

But apparently for her it's just interest and curiosity. Otherwise, how to explain her last words: "I'm sorry, YuJu , but I do not love you the way you love me"?

After them, she began to avoid me. Doesn't look at me when he says hello. Turns away, I just have to get closer at school. Pretending to be gone.

And what should I do in this case?

How to behave?

Whether it is worth trying to somehow fight for his love, when that same l th s love rejects me?

These thoughts only hurt me and I want to cry all the time.

Need to stop. Wait. Maybe Yerin , after all , will figure out her feelings for me, come one day and say that she loves me, and we will be together. In the meantime, I will wait, I need to live anew without her kisses and without her affection.

Tomorrow. My whole new life will begin tomorrow.

In the meantime, cry your heart, shed tears and calm down. We need strength for a new life.

***

My new life began rather strange. In the morning. When I went to school. Without Yerin. She, as usual, after that day, began to leave earlier. The excuse that the school president needs to be ahead of the rest. Strange but expected. I did not comment on her behavior, because I began a new life, without her.

Okay, so when I was going to school, they accidentally ran into me. I did it more precisely, but it was nice when the guy (pretty pretty) first asked for forgiveness. Thought that my eyes will now look only at the girls, it turns out not. My heart twitched somehow in response to his smile. And I don’t know how it happened, but I agreed to go to the cafe after classes with him.

Honestly, my thoughts were completely filled with the smile of that guy and I completely missed the lessons and all the conversations of friends during lunch. I didn’t see Yerin , we didn’t communicate, but when I left school I saw how she looked out of the director’s office window. But her eyes were not on me, but on someone who was further than me. I wondered turned and does not keep and familiarize practically ran to the guy that was waiting for me near the school.

- Hi. Have you been waiting long?

- I am ready to wait forever. Are you not busy now?

- No. Is free. And I can fulfill the promise made to you, go with you to the cafe.

- Then let's go. How was your day?

He's so cute! With him, I again felt alive. We talked about everything. He made me laugh all the time. He didn’t press on me if she didn’t want to talk about some things. I regained consciousness only when my phone rang, and we saw that the time was late. We talked with him for more than 4 hours! And I'm not tired. Not at all.

- See you tomorrow? He asked as he drove home, and we stood near my porch.

He stood nearby, not trying to touch me. But the distance was still very close. But I was not comfortable. No. It was easy and free with him.

“Again after school?”

“I would like to take you to school, and then after it we could take a walk somewhere.”

- Great plan.

“Only this is not a date,” he hastened to assure, somehow embarrassed and turning his face away from me.

- And who is talking about this? I didn’t even think when you proposed to meet.

- Bye then. Talk to you tomorrow?

- Till tomorrow.

When I got home, at the threshold I was greeted by the stern look from Yerin and the curious look from my mother. I glanced at them while undressing, but they were silent, nevertheless mother was the first to ask:

- Who is this young man who accompanied you?

- Jimin .

- And the last name?

“Just Jimin .”

“And who is he?”

- Friend.

“Have you been with him for so long?”

- Yes. He is cool. We met only today, but it feels like we have known each other for a long time - I felt her gaze burn through my back as I walked into the kitchen.

- Only today? And where?

- On the street when I was going to school. We will meet with him tomorrow.

- I'm so glad! Finally, my baby got a boyfriend! When will you introduce him to us?

- Never! We just started our conversation, and you already think that he is my boyfriend.

- No! - exclaimed Yerin , I turned to her, as did my mother, too.

- What is the matter, Yennie ? - Mom carefully asked, coming closer to her. “You're kind of pale.” You feel bad?

- Things are good. I just ... I just ... me ... I saw a bug - she muttered, looking directly into my eyes. - Nothing wrong. Everything is fine.

- Are you sure?

- Yes. I will go to my room.

When I entered our room with her, the light was off, and she herself was sleeping or pretending to be asleep. Quickly changing into my pajamas, I lay down next to her, on my half of the bed. She her side and covered her eyes.

“Are you okay with him?” - was not afraid only because she knew Yerin was pretending to be sleeping.

“He's cute and makes me laugh all the time.”

“Are you going somewhere tomorrow either?”

“Yes,” she thought, she would ask again, but Yerin fell silent, listened for breathing, fell asleep. What exactly did she want to know?

“Good night, YuJu, ” her voice softly sounded, then her lips quickly kissed my cheek, and I heard her turn away from me.

What for? Why is she doing this? After her fleeting kiss, I could not fall asleep until morning. After all, closing my eyes every time, I saw her lips and how we kiss, and how she answers my kisses, and how she says that she loves me.

I got up broken. The mood was lousy. But she barely went outside when Jimin met me and my mood instantly rose. And this does not apply to the fact that he brought me a bouquet of flowers.

- Flowers for a beautiful girl - this is how Jimin voiced his gift .

- Thank.

***

Another day flew by. And then a month also flew by unnoticedly. Jimin met me every time and escorted me to the house. We stayed at his house a couple of times, but nothing of the kind happened. In the face of Jimin, I found a good friend with whom I can easily communicate and have fun. According to him, he also considered in relation to me.

He told a lot of things about himself. I found out that he lives for a long time. Since he moved to the city to study. His parents and sister stayed in the village, he visits them from time to time. His girlfriend, whom he had not seen half a year studying in the US, she was lucky to go to one universities states. I met her only via Skype, after our next freeze in his house. Yerin. Strange, yes, his girlfriend’s name is so similar to that of the girl I love.

We talked a lot about the first love. His story is different from mine, but he was understanding and a me like no other.

One day when we walked around the city, Jimin suggested:

“Would you like to come to Ostrov with me?” I got two tickets, or rather, they gave them to me, the old pr and the inspector.

“I would invite my girlfriend, she’s coming this weekend.”

- Yesterday I called and said that she couldn’t. Some mega important project, which she cannot refuse. But she promised to be next weekend. So to go is not a hunt.

- Offer your parents.

“No, they will not agree to this, and my sister drove off with friends for a long time.” Help out, YuJu !

- Then you will have a conversation with mom!

- Agreed.

***

Ostrov is an upscale gaming hotel with various amenities. His grand discovery was made a week ago, and he was a stunning success among the entire population of Japan. For every taste of entertainment. For children, for youth, for the adult generation. Karaoke, game room and you, attractions, theaters, fear of the room, etc.

Two hours by train, an hour by bus and you are in paradise. When you meet e covers all that crazy euphoria when all the problems go away and you're just having fun. The price of b and summer includes all entertainment for every taste.For your money, you really buy food. We got the coolest tickets from a friend, Jimin , where he just got them! VIP tickets! So everything is for free - games, food and a hotel room.

As soon as they arrived, they threw things in the hotel rooms, and went for a walk.

During the two days that we were there, Yerin called me at least 40 minuts. I heard her voice, I read her one verbal SMS, and every time I seemed to make excuses. Why? Why did I do this? I prieh a la here to have fun, and yes, I had fun, but all thoughts occupied my younger sister. I scrolled all her SMS in my head, thought over and wondered what this or that word could mean. For example, in the word “have fun” I read “behave yourself”, that is, Yerin shows that he loves me. There were times when all thoughts flew from my head, but this was due to the high slides and the room of fear.

When we got on the train to return home, I did not want to leave.

- Next time I’ll definitely go here with my friends. And you and your girlfriend, understood, Jimin !

“I think that next time we will have a double date here.”

“And who are we coming with?”

- With our girls, of course.

***

Our girls, huh? Thanks, Jimin , but not with my happiness. Yerin , if she decided not to be with me, it will be so. My persuasion did not lead to anything, and I do not know what to do. Leave it as it is. We are now simple friends . Onlystepsisters .

***

Nothing changed when I returned. Everything remained the same as before my departure. Well, if you know, it will be so. I will live without her.

***

7 years. Exactly 7 years have passed since the day I left this city and left for another country. Graduated from high school with no difference but my decision to leave the city, where everything reminds me Yerin , where I ff s interested in her voice and see her eyes, it was unconditional. For all the time we wrote each other only 4 times. And the letters concerned our mutual friends, birthday and holidays. We did not call each other, did not communicate, only wrote. Not my decision, Yerin so wanted. I did not find out her reasons.

But with Jimin and his girlfriend (by the way, they are already a married couple) we met often and called up. I learned news from him. So I found out that Yerin had a boyfriend. So I found out that their relationship did not last six months. So I learned that Yerin is now director of the school (at such a young vozra with those already director), happy for her, her dream and aspiration come true. And I also learned from my friend that she lives alone, rents an apartment.

My life has developed except at work and with colleagues. Personal life, lonely. Attempts to go on a date with someone always broke off, I chose those who at least somehow looked like Yerin , and this is my mistake. Then in conversations I often spoke her name, and not the name of the interlocutor. So that they themselves are pon and maye.

I returned here because of a meeting with old friends. Recall the past. Our childhood dreams. Then back to the empty city.

***

I haven’t had fun for so long. Again felt the 17-year-old girl, without any problems and without vlyu b laziness. I was happy and lived. I met all my former friends, classmates, we hanged and foxed . Promised to come Yerin . Apparently I found out that I was in the city, I decided not to come, I don’t know, but she was not there.

Alcohol. I drank a lot, but I am still standing on her feet when she entered my former apartment. She stayed in the house where we lived, in the same apartment. Parents were not at home, they went somewhere. But the keys to the house, as always, are under the rug.

Entering inside, a surprise awaited me. A pleasant but unexpected surprise.

“Do you mind that I'm here?” - asked Yerin , rising from the couch, where she apparently read a book when I entered.

- This is your house too - somehow took off my shoes, walked to the sofa, sat down. - Why did not you come?

- I do not like noisy parties. In addition, I see them more often than you. For a long time?

- A few days.

- Clear. Would you like some coffee? Or another glass of wine?

- Coffee. Strong please. For a long time I did not drink, but sometimes you need to relax and otdo x pull the.

“But a glass of wine doesn’t bother me.”

This is how our first meeting happened after 7 years of separation. I thought that a strange conversation that evening would never happen again, was wrong. In the morning breakfast was waiting for me on the table, a note, with even pochep com:

Will you go to school? A lot has changed here. Yerin .

School. I haven’t been there for a long time. Missed you? No, maybe sometimes, maybe I missed you. But why not stop by? Anyway, nothing to do so far.

I remembered how to go there. The road has not changed. All the same. And she perfectly remembered with whom I went there. The road of past happiness and past pain, is now the road of hope? No, it's stupid to hope that it never happens.

School…

school corridors ...

classes ...

... all the same as I remember.

Director’s office , a sign that says: " Jung Yerin ."

Why is my heart beating so loudly?

Why can't my legs step in?

Why am I afraid of knocking, grabbing the door handle and opening it?

I'm nervous. I take a deep breath, decisively open the door and go inside ...

 

Take a step and our eyes meet

And nothing else matters

Hello my soul, I am back.

Hello my heart, I am back.

Hello, I won’t let you go anywhere.

Hello, I won’t go anywhere else.