Ji Hyo takes off her reading glasses and sighs, leaning backwards to relax her muscles and joints before pushing away the binders, folders, and loose papers that fill on top of her desk. She looks at her watch and isn’t surprised to see it is already three in the morning. Why should she bother changing into pajamas and going to bed if very soon she’ll be up anyway? And even if she does get the guts to lay down for a few hours, who will guarantee that she will manage to fall asleep?

Ji Hyo’s hands were trembling like mad, holding three pregnancy tests in her hands. She had left Ah In to watch one of his favorite cartoons while both waited for Jong Kook to come home from work. She had not told him about her late period, she wanted to have a real reason to be worked up. She knew he’d probably be even more frustrated if the results came out negative.

Even though they had not openly talked about the matter, she knew just how much he wanted another child. So, she figured it wouldn’t upset him if she stopped taking birth control pills. It would be her little surprise to him, her little gift.

She looked at the timer. One more minute to go. Why was this so long? Was time standing still? She sat down on the toilet and sighed, trying hard to prevent some thoughts to take over her mind, and yet she failed. She kept thinking of how their baby would look like. Would they get a daughter this time? Jong Kook had always loved the idea of having a daughter. But it didn’t matter, another boy would be just as welcome. He had always dreamed of having a daughter that he didn’t realize of how much fun he had with Ah In.

The timer rang and it startled her. It was the time.

Her heartbeat raced. No, she couldn’t bear to look at them. She didn’t want to get disappointed. This was so much different than when she got pregnant with Ah In.

Oh my god, what if her husband got upset? What if he got mad at her for not telling him about it? Maybe he wanted to wait a little longer…

Calming up her nerves, she closed her eyes and finally took the three tests.

They were positives.

The three tests all showed clear positive results.

Brushing away her happy tears, she got out of the bathroom and sat down on the couch beside Ah In, who was sitting on the floor. She couldn’t wipe away the smile. Ah In was going to be a big brother! She played scenes on her head of him teaching things to the new baby, caring for the new member of the family, and she became much happier.

The password being clicked was heard to announce Jong Kook’s arrival.

“Yeobo, I’m home!” Jong Kook announced.

Ji Hyo smiled at the cliché. “In the living room!” She shouted back. She saw as Ah In’s head eagerly turned to the source.

“Appa!”

“Hey, what are you guys doing?” Jong Kook asks while loosening up his tie. He approached his son to give him a kiss on top of his head, before settling himself beside his wife on the couch. He gathered his wife in his embrace and let her lean in on him.

“Ah In wanted to watch Robocar Poli.” She motioned at the show that was on the TV.

Ah In turned his body to face his parents. “Can I watch another one after dinner?”

Jong Kook frowned, after dinner would be too late and too much for a three-year-old. He hated to say no to those puppy eyes, but before he could say anything, his wife chimed in.

“Sure, you can!” Ji Hyo’s answer interrupted his thoughts. “Just one more episode, okay?”

Ah In agreed giddily.

Jong Kook looked at her, confused. There was something different about her smile. “What?” He whispered, smiling at the thought that something good had happened.

Ji Hyo asked him to follow her into the en suite with his eyes closed. “Yeobo?” She sweetly wrapped her arms around his waist.

“Yes?”

“There’s something I want to tell you.”

He gave a curious smile and nodded. “Sure. Can I open my eyes now?”

“Not yet.” Ji Hyo whispered. She surely couldn’t wipe away her smile. She took his hand and handed him the three tests. “Okay, now open your eyes.”

Jong Kook looked down to see the things he was handed and he couldn’t believe his eyes.

“I know we haven’t exactly planned this, or talked about it, but-” She started trailing off. She didn’t know what to expect because he was still looking down. “I’m pregnant.”

Sure enough, when he looked up, his smile grew bigger and bigger. It was wider than she had ever seen, or as wide as when she told him she was pregnant with Ah In.

“You’re- you’re pregnant?” Jong Kook chuckled. “Are you sure?”

Ji Hyo nodded with a grin. “Well, it says on the box that these pregnancy tests are very accurate and I took three, so I would say yes, probably.”

He said nothing for the time being, he just hugged her and kissed her everywhere his lips could reach. Her cheeks, her lips, her neck, her shoulders, her ears, her temple, everywhere. And she kept on giggling, thinking there had been so long since she had been so happy like that.

“So, you’re not mad?” Ji Hyo made sure with a small voice.

Jong Kook wanted to , but with so much joy he felt, he couldn’t do it. “Of course not, yeobo. I’m so happy. Thank you.”

No, not tonight, she thinks. She has to stop reminiscing about the past. She has to stop thinking about things she can’t change. That night is one of those nights when it all just comes back, and they come back too strongly. When she can’t push it away, they somehow find a way into her mind. They wouldn’t let her sleep. They would scream softly into her brain for years. No matter how much time has passed, those thoughts just won’t fade away.

Ji Hyo’s stomach was having a hard time keeping breakfast down that morning. As she laid in bed, she tried to somehow mentally make herself feel better, but her headache surely wasn’t helping. Sure, maybe it was the morning sickness. Or perhaps it was something else. Or probably it was all of it.

Agonized tears escaped from the corner of her eyes. She had been doing so well so far, for a couple of weeks she had known about her pregnancy and about his news. So much for believing Dr. Ji when he said that the second pregnancy usually took it easier on you.

She rolled for the umpteenth time on her empty bed and sighed, closing her eyes again.

Jong Kook had gone off to work and little Ah In was in his school, being dropped by his father, since she didn’t have the will to even raise her body up and went away from her bed. She just wanted to be by herself today, not doing anything, just lying there. Maybe then she could at least try and think about everything that was going on. There was too much going on it seemed.

But before she could think any further, her stomach churned and she quickly ran up to the bathroom to vomit. There was nothing really that had to be thrown out actually.

After gathering her energy back, she splashed some water on her face at the sink. She looked up at herself in the mirror with great disgust. She had black half rings under her puffy eyes, due to the lack of sleep the past nights. Her hair was a mess and she was now sweating.

Pregnancy glow, yeah, right.

She carefully laid back down on the bed, and as in cue, her phone rang.

“Yeoboseyo.” She answered, without checking the caller ID.

Jong Kook frowned, he could definitely tell how she felt by the tone of her voice, but still he had to ask. “Yeobo, are you feeling better?”

“No?”

Jong Kook sighed. “Mianhae.” He felt so bad. “Have you taken the medicine that Dr. Ji told you to?”

Ji Hyo sighed too, before she mumbled, “Not yet. I’m too lazy to even get out of the bed.”

Jong Kook chuckled listening to the spoiled tone in her voice.

“I will soon.” Ji Hyo informed him.

“Good.” Jong Kook sighed again. “I wish I was there to help.”

“Aniya, gwaenchana.” Ji Hyo assured him. “Is there anything else, Oppa?”

“No. I just called to see how you were feeling, really.”

Ji Hyo smiled. “Okay.”

“I’ll try to be back early.” Jong Kook promised her. “Saranghae.”

“Saranghae.” She answered, before hanging up and closed her eyes again.

Jong Kook was so happy with the promotion. It was too painful for her to recognize it because he had really got the chance of his lifetime. That was it. He had been chosen out of God knows how many people and that made her so proud. He was finally getting the recognition he deserved. The one that sometimes she and their friends failed to give him.

Ji Hyo then let herself imagine how different life would be in a new country. What did she know about Indonesia? Beaches? Traditions? Sunshine? Rainforest? Was she willing to sacrifice her dear life in South Korea for the sake of her husband? Her wedding