She did wash up with the lights off. It wasn’t an easy feat, given that the bathroom was quite small and she kept running into things, hitting her arms and knees. It was a struggle to find the soap and it didn’t help how the entire place still smelled like his shower gel. Belen tried not to think, tried not to let that sweet scent get into her brain. Dressing up was even more difficult and she was pretty sure she had her T-shirt on the wrong way.

All in all, Belen would not recommend showering in the dark, not even to her worst enemy, not even to Faye even if her Junkook was sitting right outside in baby blue pajamas.

By the time Belen exited the Bathroom, Sung Gyu had already started without her. He was busy preparing the noodles, heating water and opening the packages; in the background, songs were playing and he was singing along.

And he sounded incredibly good.. She’d heard it only once, back in the slipper shop. Hearing it now was a wholly different experience. She was frozen for a moment, hating it that Sung Gyu was attacking her with different sides of him without an end, and Frankly, Belen was tired. Inside her head, she could almost hear Faye’s voice telling her; ‘This is what you’ve been missing out on’.

“Oh hi” He greeted her upon seeing her standing in the middle of the room in a towel turban. He then turned the music off. “I was just, err...practicing and started on this…”

“That’s fine,” Belen said, giving him a smile. She had to recollect herself now. After all, she had to have dinner with him and share the room with him for the entire night.

So she walked over and rather composedly sat on the floor beside him. The microwave pinged and he retrieved a paper bowl of instant rice cake, its aroma filling the room.

“I didn’t know what to do with these,” He said, gesturing at the paper bags which had all the Merienda.

“Oh right” She told him, took the paper bags and smiled. Although it wasn’t the right time of the day, nobody could say not to some good merienda even on occasions. Belen had gotten a variety of them; some sweet, some savory but all finger snacks that they could both enjoy without a hassle.

Sung Gyu was watching her intently as she retrieved them from the paper bags and laid them down before him.

“Now these” She explained, gesturing at them in the likes of a chef. “Are what we call Merienda; they’re snacks, basically. I’ve got a bunch of different types”

“Nice” Sung Gyu commented appreciatively and gestured at Carioca, which was basically rice flour and grated coconut, which was more of sweet rice cake. “I remember these from our last time here”

“It’s sweet” She explained to him. “It’s like a dessert”

“Right” He laughed. 

“Now these” She continued, picking up an Empanada. “These are savory. They’re a bit spicy”

She went on to introduce all the five different Merienda that she’d gotten from the convenience store, which weren’t as fresh from when they’d get from a street food store or a Jollie cart. Sung Gyu listened to everything, showing genuine interest and even tried them and commented exactly in the way somebody trying them for the first time would. Manila was a beautiful, vibrant city which had so much of life and so much to see. She wished, even as she gave him a little taste of her culture, that she had the chance to have him explore more, and explore more with her.

“So we Filipinos love our rice” Belen went on as she opened her own ready-made meal set. “We love it so much that we have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner”

“So every meal you say” Sung Gyu replied as he devoured his own food.

“You’re right” She laughed. “Well, our meals are more than just rice…” She let out a heavy sigh and gave him a sad smile. “Honestly, I wish I could take you on a whole culinary journey instead of looking for slippers, I’d have made you try all the food we could find”

Sung Gyu laughed in return. “And if I did, I would never hear an end to it from Woohyun”

Belen raised her brows.

“Ah, we planned to go out and eat when he’s here,” Sung Gyu explained. “Speaking of whom” He continued and set down his food as if he suddenly remembered it. “Let me show them to you” He glanced up at her with a mischievous grin. “Since you don’t know a single one of them”

“Now that” She raised her hand. “That’s not right, okay? We had a whole lecture on Infinite before you came here”

Sung Gyu picked up his phone and looked at her accusingly. “Then you haven’t done your homework, Manager-nim”

It felt completely natural to sit next to him as he pulled his phone out and scrolled through his photos. There were photos of nature, of buildings and people and most importantly, pictures of his band mates that he’d taken in odd, unsuspecting moments. Embarrassing pictures, pictures of them intentionally posing weird for him. As he scrolled through them, he spoke so fondly of each one of them. Woohyun and his clinginess, Dongwoo and how he couldn’t sit and wait in one place, Hoya and his very bad humour, Myungsoo and his dual personalities, SungYeol and his fake wit, Sung Jong his baby brother that he loved to mock the most. For a moment, he just sounded like an older sibling talking about his unreasonably large number of brothers. As he spoke, Belen couldn’t help but watch how his expressions changed. His smile was gentle, his eyes softened. All she could witness was pride and affection, all directed to them. It didn’t even occur to her that it was an idol group that he was talking about.

“You’d see when they’re finally here” He said on an endnote as he sat back, putting his phone away. “They’re a bunch of nice kids. They’re not what you’d expect”

Belen fought the urge to tell that she couldn’t agree more, that she too had felt the same.

But instead, she proceeded to defend herself for not knowing them. 

“I’ve never really been a fan of kpop, to be honest” She admitted sincerely. “It’s always appeared overrated for me”

Belen initially expected him to take offence in her words, but instead, he actually nodded in agreement. “I think a lot of people have the same impression, not only you”

“No offence, honestly”

Sung Gyu just laughed it off. “No offence taken” He took a particularly large bite of his food. “So what kind of music do you listen to?”

Belen, herself, was not a huge music enthusiast. But she imagined that everyone had their own preference to listen to at odd times.

“Well you know” She shrugged. “Plain old filipino music mostly. And I also like western music from the 1980’s”

Sung Gyu set his cup down on the floor, nodding in agreement. “Music is music, no matter what kind people listen to” He explained, for once sounding strangely philosophical. “Like, Americans speak english, people from thailand speak thai and you speak your own language...but music is like...everyone’s language”

“You’re right. You’re absolutely right” She laughed.

Belen screwed open a bottle of fizzy juice and handed it over to him. “So what music do you listen to?”

“Me?” Sung Gyu raised his brows, and she nodded. “Well….” He seemed to mull it over for a second. “I like Nell -It’s a korean band, not like us- and I like Coldplay, and Oasis, and Radiohead...and a couple of others”

“You’ve got taste!” Belen commented excitedly. The more he spoke, the more ordinary that he appeared to be. 

“Right?” He laughed, and much to her amazement, he started to sing what she easily recognised as Oasis’s Wonderwall. He only sang a few lines; but when he caught her watching him, he got embarrassed and dropped the act.

Belen, however, had to admit, Faye probably did have a point. Even when he sang just casually, his voice seemed to come out without effort; smooth and raw and beautiful. It was like water streams on rainy days, like honey, like butter, like melting snow in the spring. If he sounded so good casually belting a line or two in his baby blue pajamas, Belen couldn’t imagine how it must be on the stage.

“You’re good” She admitted, not holding back a word. “You’re so good, SungGyu-Ssi”

“Well, Thank you” He smiled shily, and spluttered when she too smiled in response. “I am a singer, that’s what I do”
 

“I didn’t think you’d be so good at it”

“Sadly that’s the impression most people have on kpop boy groups” Sung Gyu returned with a shrug.

“Not me” Belen shook her head. “Me, I was never interested in boy groups and especially boy groups” She turned away. “I just find them annoying. You know...boys. They don’t mean what they say”

Sung Gyu nearly choked on the drink that he was having. “Hold on” He laughed. “So you hate boy groups because you hate men?”

“I don’t hate them” She replied, a little embarrassed that she’d let on too much of her emotions. “I just don’t like them”

“And why not?”

When Belen threw at him a sharp gaze, he held up both his hands in his defence. “No offence. I am genuinely curious, is all”

She just shrugged. If she went into a full account on how all three of her previous relationships have hurt her and destroyed her and disappointed her to the extent that she’d started taking them as representatives of the entire male population and taken them a reason to dislike them, then it would take her the entire day and more.

“Bad relationships” She said in the end, the long story short.

“Ah…” He nodded, and then he fell quiet. 

Belen thought, at that point, that their conversation had ended for good. It felt incredible to actually find someone whom you could converse comfortably with, with no restrictions, and she’d genuinely thought that was what it was. But when it suddenly came to a standstill, her words still hanging in the damp air, lost and forgotten, she actually felt terrible. It was there that he drew the line then. It was there that he switched from being an ordinary person to a celebrity. It was there that he expected her to halt, to stop being herself around him, and she hated that she’d let herself to.

Belen was considering gathering herself and moving away when he suddenly spoke again, taking her by surprise. “You know, when I was little, I stayed with my grandparents once, and they had a dog”

Baffled by his sudden intrusion, Belen sat completely still. Sung Gyu finished the last of his food, put the cup aside and cleaned his face with a paper napkin. “It wasn’t a nice dog” He continued daintily. “It was a big black nasty dog. And that one time when I stayed over, the dog bit me. Like, really hard. I had to get stitches and shots and it really wasn’t nice”

Belen naturally winced, imagining a much younger dog bitten Sung Gyu crying his heart out.

“After that, dogs became a big no no for me” He gestured animatedly with his hands as he spoke. “I didn’t hate dogs. I just didn’t like them after that”

Belen couldn’t help but burst out laughing at his terrible impersonation of her.

“Anyway...” He went on. “Fast Forward to some years later, Infinite had to star in this show where we had to raise three, not one but three dogs in our dorm. Can you imagine how it must have been for me?”

“It probably ,” She said.

“Very.” He nodded in agreement. “And the worst thing is, I couldn’t even tell them why I hated dogs. It would have been so humiliating and they wouldn’t keep their mouths shut”

Belen rearranged herself on the ground, completely immersed in his tale. “So what happened?”

“It’s a long story” He shrugged, and she pouted in disappointment. “What the hell?”

“But” He raised his hand. “The long and the short of it is, I still don’t like dogs. I honestly don’t. But there are three of them that even now I’d give my heart and soul too”

“The three dogs from the show”

“You’re right” Sung Gyu agreed with a finger gun and met her eyes. “What I’m trying to say is, it’s natural, what you feel about...men, I think. Because you associate them with some of the worst memories you had. Anyone would do that. Even me. Even Myung Soo who don’t eat black bean noodles after they made him puke in fifth grade-,”

Belen laughed.

“But still, just like I started liking these three dogs, there will be one day when one person, one man would probably steal your heart. You never know, Manager-nim. You’d probably wouldn’t like a single man that exists in this whole world. But still, that one person would always be an exception”

When Sung Gyu said that, and when he looked up, met her eyes and held her gaze, something strong  slowly shifted inside her. Belen never thought of things in that way. In fact, she never thought of things at all. If she hated men, she just hated them. If there was no interest, no change of hearts, so be it, she’d thought. She simply hadn’t had the time. But that was not to say that she hadn’t had an odd moment or two where she’d wished her life was different. She’d wished her thoughts would change, that her impression on men would change so her life would be simpler.She hoped that she’d become more gentler, more approachable, perhaps more beautiful so she could be loved, held and comforted, all of which she had failed to receive for the most part of her life. Belen had always thought that she’d grown up too fast. She saw and experienced things that she shouldn’t have at a tender age, which ultimately made her become harder, stronger and even unlovable. She knew that her hopes of affection of a man over her loneliness was just wishful thinking. There was no chance that things would change.

But right at that moment, Sung Gyu’s words, their sense, their weight, the million stars in his eyes seemed to give her hope. They seemed to tell her something, a story that would never be told, that probably should never be. And that little tale felt to be wrapped completely around him. That one man who seemed to have touched and moved her stone cold heart.

But Belen couldn’t admit any of that, could she? Instead, she just laughed it off in response.

“Men?” She scoffed. “Well, I might know very little about them but I do know that this” She gestured at herself. “Would never be what they need”

“That’s very subjective” Sung Gyu raised his hand. “Besides, why would you even think so? Manager-nim, you’re strong anr responsible and easy to be with. I think anyone would like that”

“But men expect women to be fair, to be beautiful-,”

“To hell with being fair and beautiful” Sung Gyu interrupted her, his voice stern that it immediately silenced her. “When somebody likes someone, they naturally become beautiful to them”

The room fell silent afterwards, and that was the point when Belen realised, Kim Sung gyu had most effortlessly turned her world around. She felt warmth in her eyes, she could hear the beating of her own heart.

“That’s...that’s probably the nicest thing someone has ever said” She told him, touched by the sincerity of his words. And that's the truth. Nearly thirty years of her life, three previous relationships, yet still nobody has even gotten closer to the impact that Kim Sung Gyu had made within one night.

“They should have told you more often, then” He said in an endnote. When he smiled, Belen thought that she hadn’t seen anything more beautiful. “They should”

Belen wanted to thank him for telling her that, for making her feel different, for making her feel indescribably special even if it was for just one night, but she just didn’t have the heart to. If she allowed herself to acknowledge it further, she’d end up needing more. Belen knew and understood that she possibly couldn’t have more. It was just this one night. Just tonight. Sung Gyu’s comfort wasn’t something that she was meant to have. When tomorrow would come, when they return to their ordinary lives and when this timeline indefinitely changes, leaving tonight the magical, memorable and perhaps the best night of her life, everything will be over. And Belen, for him wouldn’t matter any more than the millions of people he had met.

So Belen did what she was best at doing. She shook it off, ignored it, dismissed it, this emotion. And she told him the last thing that came to her mind.

“Do you usually talk this much? Or is it too much Banana cue that’s talking?”

Sung Gyu set down the sweet Banana dessert that he’s been feasting on, his cheeks glazing pink. “Definitely the Banana'' He said, making her laugh.

“Banana cue’s are famous for having that effect on people”

“No but seriously, it's so good’ He admitted, wiping his mouth and hands on a paper towel. “Not only the Banana cue, I mean. This-this…” He gestured to the space between them. “This whole conversation”

“The conversation?” Belen raised her brows.

Sung Gyu nodded in response. “You know, it’s nearly morning and I probably should get more sleep...but I haven’t had a longer conversation with anyone for a long time”

“You haven’t?”

He shook his head. “My life is so hectic. One moment, I’m in Japan. I blink, and the next I'm in Taiwan. Time just float by and I sometimes feel I haven’t been living, you know”

“Was it any different...tonight?” Belen asked him quietly, feeling a little flicker of hope in her heart.

“Very” He agreed, making that flicker grow in multitudes, so much as to burst and turn into million fireflies. “To be honest, I am secretly a little glad that you weren’t a fan”

Belen burst out in laughter. “Seriously?”

If she had the chance, she would definitely tell that to Faye and see what her reaction would be.

“No wait” Sung Gyu shook his head in defence. “No, don’t get it wrong. I love my fans, I adore them. They’re cute and perfect and work really hard. I wouldn’t be who I am without them”

“Then?”

He let out a great big sigh and met her eyes. “You know, with you, it's been like talking to a long lost friend, whereas with a fan, there is always that worry about guarding their impression of me. They have certain expectations, you see. They’ve seen and known me as this particular molded person, a perfect being, and I want to keep it that way. I would be scared to make a wrong move, to hurt them, to accidentally offend them. I am so afraid that I would lose them...but with people like you, I wouldn’t have that worry. I can be myself. Because I wouldn't lose you. Because I didn’t have you the first place”

And you never would. Her mind naturally replied in her head. And neither would I.

“You really do talk too much” She laughed.

“Right? Well I do, when I feel comfortable with people” 

“So are you?” She raised her brows.

“Very” He chuckled awkwardly, and then they both fell silent. It was evident now that that was the point where it ended, this long, endless, directionless conversation. It was the point where the magic ceased to exist. “Well, I guess we’ve stayed up pretty late” he added in a final note.

“I...I guess so too” Belen awkwardly replied.

“Maybe we should clean up”

Belen let out a heavy sigh. Her heart, strangely, was breaking inside. She wished they could last for even longer. “Yeah, we should” She replied.

The next few minutes, two of them spent to quietly clean up the mess they made. Much to her amazement, they worked in almost perfect sync. He gathered the litter, and she held out a plastic bag for him to put them in. He wiped the floor with paper towels as she cleaned the crumbs and inside of the microwave. She sprayed perfume inside the room so it no longer smelled like food while he put the leftover into the fridge. In a matter of ten minutes, the room was back in perfect shape. Then Belen awkwardly sat and waited while Sung Gyu brushed his teeth.

She despised how domestic this all felt; long, nightly conversations, shared dinner, cleaning up together and now waiting for one to be done with using the bathroom. She hadn’t had a relationship for a long time, the last being almost five years ago. It hadn’t been the best, when she was unconsciously pushed and pulled around, put in a place where she was convinced that they were indeed in a relationship whereas, for him, she was just another second option to be with. When that last relationship ended, it was Belen’s last straw. No more, she’d told herself repeatedly on the night that it ended and she broke into tears in her bathroom five years ago. No longer would she put herself down to a place where she’d constantly hurt herself. She would grow, she would heal. She would love herself more. But the end result of her journey through self healing was not what she expected. Eventually, she created a person out of herself that she didn’t want to be; someone who secretly craved for love yet was so afraid to, so much so that she turned that fear into hatred and built high walls around her to keep her safe.

Yet, tonight, however, Kim Sung Gyu, a celebrity that she’d never known had rolled into her life in the middle of a storm and put her life in perspective. Perhaps, it was her time to embrace herself, accept her fears and perhaps really allow herself to heal. If Sung Gyu was right, she would live her life, hating the people who hurt her as long as her life lasted. Maybe things would get better, maybe she would continue to dislike men with the exception of one.

She didn’t know yet whom it was going to be. But what Belen did know was that Kim Sung Gyu, over night, had most definitely become one of them.

“Manager-nim” Sung Gyu’s voice suddenly cut into her thoughts, and only then did she realise that he had exited the bathroom. He had a gentle smile on his lips. “You can go ahead”

“Oh...right” Belen nodded vigorously, a little ashamed that, for the past ten minutes, her mind was all over the place and inappropriately wrapped around the thoughts of him.

She took all her time to clean up only because she felt her mind needed time out from these unfamiliar emotions. If Faye was here, she’d call her out on being unreasonable. She’d say that it was normal to feel that way, that just about ten million girls all over the world felt about Kim Sung Gyu the same. But Belen had realised that whatever his fans around the world felt about him, it wasn’t the same as she did. One night, she’d spent one night in his captivating company, and now she was completely gripped and perhaps even smitten by him in a way that she had never imagined. Belen had not become a fangirl, that was for sure. She had never been a fangirl to judge that. But she could say that this...was a little more.

By the time she finally exited, cold with mint, Sung Gyu had already settled in the top bunk, the shine of his phone on his face.

“Are you a top bunk or a bottom bunk person?” He called out from up there.

“Bottom bunk” She replied, calling dibs on the bottom bunk of the bed that wasn’t occupied.

“Bottom bunk people are closer to hell”  He said.

She laughed, settling under the covers, her mind slowly yet finally coming to a rest. She would fall asleep now, somehow, and the night would end. Tomorrow they would go back to being themselves again, Belen who was forced to be a manager for the night and Sung Gyu, the idol who was stranded alone in a place he didn’t know. She would treasure all the memories from tonight, keep them snuggled warmly in her heart and recall every time she felt she was about to lose herself again. She would remind herself, on and on that sometimes good things happen when you least expected it. That sometimes, people weren’t bad as you’d think they would be.