« trauma. »「darawon semi-au」

Wonjun offers a proposal to the CEO while Jiwon battles his suspicions. 


warnings. swearing, smoking

a.n. Hello guys! Thanks for your patience, I decided to divide the chapter in two. Enjoy! 


• Chapter 5 - plans.


Wonjun stared at his Daniel Wellington watch so intensely that he could have pierced a hole through it. 

“Why haven’t they finished yet?” – he muttered under his breath as his foot kept tapping on the floor. YG Staff walked by him, looking at him puzzled - what was he so anxious for? 

In his left arm a huge matte black folder he held close to his chest, that was his secret weapon that morning. He had pulled an all-nighter the day prior just to perfect every single detail of the reports he collected over the span of 6 months. 

“People in this building are always falling behind, the meeting should have ended 30 minutes ago” - he complained internally; his body was enough demonstration of his impatience.  

That was his last shot to make Dara win the right gigs at the right time, that or she’d be stuck in YG’s dungeon until retirement. 


“Thank you all for coming to this briefing, keep me updated”. 

The tinted glass door suddenly opened, letting out a huge group of people that quickly split up into the different hallways of the building. 

“Oh, Mr. Ko, what brings you here?”. The president’s face brightened in surprise. Sandara’s manager rarely visited the YG building, his sudden presence felt like something ominous was about to happen. 

Mr. Yang fixed the hat on his head before gesturing Wonjun to enter the conference room. 

“Good morning Mr. Yang”. He bowed at the CEO and sat on one of the numerous chairs circling the huge glass table in the center of the room. 

“Are you here to be a bearer of bad news?”. 


“Is Dara caught in a dating scandal?”. 

“Uh?! No Mr. Yang”. Wonjun interrupted him. “Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you this”. 

“What is it about Mr. Ko?”. 

“Well-“. A drop of sweat dribbled down Wonjun’s forehead. No matter how many years he had worked for Dara, he never became comfortable with YG sajang-nim. 

He had very few reasons to talk to him that often. Most of Dara’s solo gigs were obtained by Wonjun himself. 

Sandara herself visited the company building just to work out or to sign a few papers and his manager naturally followed her around, far from the CEO's office. 

“Are you nervous, Mr. Ko?”. 

“Not at all Mr. Yang”. He lied through his teeth. 

“As I was saying...” – Wonjun continued while opening the black folder in front of Mr. Yang. 

“What’s this?”. He asked, quickly going through the various pages. 

Wonjun swallowed all of his nervousness for her client’s sake - “I wanted to ask you If you had any plan on producing the web-drama starring Sandara that we discussed with the writers and PD team last winter. This is quite possibly the very best time to film it”.  

“Why is that?”. Mr. Yang put down the folder on the table. 

“As you can see-“– Wonjun stood up from his seat and reached for it just to flip it to the first page. 

“Dara’s relevancy is higher than ever, people are demanding for her acting career”. He pointed at the various pages filled with k-netizens comments. 

The president sniffed, tapping his fingers on the enormous glass table. 

“She’s been taking a lot of acting classes this year and improved tremendously- she’d be wasted as a talk show host. Since she’s not producing any music…”. 

“Producing a web-drama requires a lot of funds. We’ve already planned 5 comebacks this year”. 

“I see- I just thought that giving Dara a starring role in a yg produced drama would not only give her a platform to be noticed but also promote the actors from YG STAGE”. 

“I already gave Dara her chance when I let her act for We Broke Up and we barely repaid the costs”. 

“The advertising department didn’t release the OST, the company could’ve profited off of that”. Wonjun flipped the pages once again, showing a page with several different views on Youtube for the OST. 

“Enough with that, I don’t think it’s enough to produce a whole web-drama”. 

The manager frantically flipped pages back and forth just to realize that all of his data concerned YG stocks during the “We Broke Up” release date, his supporting arguments suddenly lost any value. 

He patted a sky-blue handkerchief over his head to dry the small droplets of sweat forming on his large forehead. 

“… Dara became a hot topic after participating on Hung Maen Jung Eum with Eun Jihoon”. – He blurted out, out of arguments. 

“Eun Jihoon?”. 

“Y-yes, the leader of Sechskies”. He blurted out as he waited for Mr. Yang’s reaction with anticipation. 

“HAHAHAHAHAHA”. – the CEO burst in fat laughter, making Wonjun drown in a sea of discomfort. 

“D-did I say something wrong?”. The manager stuttered in fear. 

“Mr. Ko, I knew you weren’t familiar with the music industry but…I didn’t think it was this severe”. 


“Thank you for your proposal but I think we’re finished here”. 

Wonjun bowed politely again before leaving the room in silence. 


“Gosh, I can’t believe it went that badly” - he heaved a deep sigh from his desert-dry lips. 

 Discussing with the CEO about your client’s career wasn’t the easiest of jobs for sure. 




Wonjun turned the sink off after washing his hands for exactly 35 seconds. 

He just couldn’t believe he had bombed his proposition after all his preparation. 

That’s why he hated relying so much on Sandara’s agency because the only one caring about her career was he himself. 

“ing hand dryer!”. 

A swear bounced off the walls of the semi-empty bathroom.  

The manager’s nose itched; a persistent alcohol smell suddenly pierced right through it.  


It couldn’t be. 


He slowly turned his head to the right, catching the other person's reflection on the mirror.  


That was him.  

The smelly man.  


He wore the same wrinkled black hoodie Wonjun grasped when they had that “particularly lively discussion”. 

The man probably had gone straight to the company after being kicked out of Sandara’s apartment the same morning.  

Wonjun froze in place, not knowing how to react.  

Who exactly was that person? 

Why was he in the bathroom of the YG building?  

“Aish- can’t they just repair it?!”.  

Why’s he so loud and rude? Is he having a bad day today? – Wonjun thought, although, he perfectly knew that throwing him out of Sandara’s flat wasn’t a pleasant morning experience.   

The smelly man groaned and left the bathroom after punching the hand dryer.  


Wonjun quietly followed him through the building, analyzing his every step. Curiosity was consuming him from the inside. 


Who was that man exactly? 

How could Sandara have anything to do with such a rude and shabby man?  

Did that man work there?  

Why would YG hire someone like him? 


Questions like that would pop out in his mind every step he took after him.  

“Annyeonghaseyo!” – A couple of staff members deeply bowed to him with great respect and almost, admiration. 


Who in the world was that person? 


"Maybe he's a vocal coach, he sure has strong vocal cords - with the way he yells..." He thought. 

The man with the hoodie kept calmly walking towards the recording studios, scratching his head every once in a while. 

"What if he was a technician?". He guessed again. 

Wonjun never saw that man working with Sandara anyway.  


Wonjun kept spying on him, hiding behind the snack machines until a familiar face appeared over the hooded man’s shoulder.  

“…wait that’s…”.  

“Jiwon-hyung, why the hell haven’t you responded to my calls this morning? Did you turn off your phone on purpose again?”.  

“J-jiwon?”. – Wonjun stuttered still confused, trying to piece together the 3 pieces of information that he still refused to believe were true – “Jiwon and not Jihoon? I always switch them up… that’s why Mr. Yang laughed at me earlier”. 

“You have a whole lot to record today, SECHSKIES’s comeback is programmed soon and your solo album even sooner!”.  The man in a gray shirt reminded Jiwon with a stern look. 


Jiwon humbly entered the recording room without saying a word or complaining as he usually did in those situations, although this time, it wasn’t his fault at all.  

“That was... Dohyun-ssi… Eun Jihoon’s, I mean JiWON’s manager… so that means…”.  

The truth hit Wonjun like a smack in his face.  

How could that smelly man possibly be an idol?   


Eun Jiwon? 


The same person Sandara had a date with on her Youtube channel?  

That Eun Jiwon? The leader of the legendary 90s boy group, SECHSKIES?  

The one Sandara has been talking about non-stop for years?  

The man felt completely dumbfounded, he completely failed to recognize such a reoccurring figure in her client’s life and career.   

“He totally looks different when he’s not in idol mode, I can’t blame myself for not recognizing him”. He excused himself and his lack of attention just like that. 


pararing pararing pararing 






「Jiwon's POV」




I just couldn’t kick out those words from my mind. 

They would invade my every thought for every step I took towards the YG building. It was too late to go back home, rest, shower, and change. I just simply walked towards the agency, absent-mindedly. 

Her manager was no joke, didn’t think she would hire such a violent man.  

He reminded me of Baekgu, the guard dog my parents had in our old house in the countryside. It was a muscular specimen, with a scraffy white fur, he barked so much but was a loyal dog.  

“Dohyun-ah, lend me your phone charger for a bit”. 

“Here you go… You know? Just keep it hyung, you’re clearly too absent-minded these days, more than usual...”. My manager remarked with a hint of resignation. 

My phone finally , the screen showed 7 missed calls from my Dohyun and a message from Jaeduck.  

I hesitated for a second but then opened Dara’s chat log, no new messages, no nothing. 

Just the forced conversation we had before meeting at the entrance yesterday evening. 


i wonder if she’s doing ok…? 


My fingers laid on the keyboard. 




“No” – I erased whatever I was writing. 


Are you ok?

I typed again. 

“Nah…” – my thumb pressed the ‘cancel’ key again. 

“Gosh… I can’t believe this”. 

Dohyun sighed very heavily while reading a message on his phone – “The technician is stuck in traffic, he’ll be here in an hour if everything’s ok… He had the usb stick with the revised track… gosh, and the producer Is in a meeting with Mr. Yang and those always take at least 2 hours”.  

“Dohyun-ah, take a deep breath, it’s fine, really”. I placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to reassure him.  


today’s the mad managers day? why are they all in such a bad mood today of all days? 



Dohyun stretched his arm in his backpack and gave me a pair of jeans and a fresh black button up shirt. 

“You smell of alcohol Jiwon hyung, I won’t question where were you yesterday evening, just freshen up in the gym’s showers while we wait for Hyunwoo-ssi to come, ok?”. 

I sniffed myself and my nostrils instantly burned at the pungent stink of alcohol and sweat released from my body and clothes.  




I picked the folded clothes and toiletry bag with both hands and made my way out of the studio.




I never thought that the hot water cascading on my body would feel so rejuvenating. The alcohol stink disappeared completely, leaving a very pleasant minty scent on my skin instead. 

I started massaging my hair with the shampoo Dohyun gave me, melting away that persistent headache that had drilled inside my head for hours. 


“I-If you don’t like me back just say it!”. 


Flashbacks of the evening with that woman started making way in my head again.  




Her drunken voice bounced in my brain, back to back. 


I scratched my head furiously as if that would’ve helped me get rid of those thoughts. 


i shouldn’t be thinking about women. 

she’s a hoobae.  

i shouldn’t get caught up in these silly stories. 

I tightened my fist.  


 "Stop playing with me!".


why couldn’t I just tell her what happened? 

“suwon and jaeduck were fooling around with my phone. i never intended to actually ask you out, sorry”. 

something along those lines. 

that should be easy right? 

why couldn’t I just say that? 

im the one who talks in a straightforward way, so why couldn’t i? 

she interrupted me. 

that’s why.  

it can’t be my fault if she misunderstood our date. 


was it a date in her head? 


what now? 

is it too late to tell her? 

i don’t want to be involved.  

i’m not even ready to think of her as a woman. 

i’m not ready to think about women in general. 

maybe I won’t ever be. 

i need to take care of this. 



Suwon’s flirty voice was so loud that I could hear it in the shower stall where I was washing up. 


why is his voice so annoyingly low when singing but then raised of 15 decibels in a presence of a woman? 

so annoying. 


“Suwon-oppa! Annyeonghaseyo!”. Sandara responded cheerfully. 

“So… how did yesterday go?”. He asked her enthusiastically, maybe even too much. 

“That’s a long story actually…”. Her voice was so faint, I could barely hear it. 

“ What happened? Did Jiwon learn that…?”. 


learn what? 

why is suwon talking in such a  fishy way anyway? 


Someone flushed the toilet, drowning Sandara’s voice. 


why the is someone pooping now that i need to listen to a conversation? 


“COULD YOU FLUSH YOUR LIKE 5 MINUTES FROM NOW?!”. I yelled at the person in the bathroom stall. 






“Did the plan go smoothly?” – Suwon continued. 


what plan are they talking about? 

no way. 


the “texting accident” was their plan? 

a plan to make her go out with me?! 




The man in the bathroom stall slammed the door of his stall, covering up Sandara’s response. 


“B-but I need to go back to work”. The toilet man panicked. 


“Oh this? He really needs it right now. Good thing you have it, you now have an excuse to go talk to him”. Suwon kept blabbering. 


what the hell are they talking about now? 


“Where can I find him oppa?”. Sandara gently asked. 

“I still haven’t seen him this morning, but trust me, you won’t find him at the gym. He’s been in YG for 3 years and still hasn’t visited the company gym once”. He laughed it off. 


you think you’re so funny suwon ah? as if you worked out… you don’t even have abs anymore… damn bastard 


I hurried out of the shower, boiling with rage. 




I took a cigarette out of the packet and started patting the left back pocket of my jeans in search of my trusty lighter. 

“ right, It’s in the other pair of pants”. – I murmured under my breath. 

“Hyung, need this?”. 

The skinny figure threw me his metal zippo. I barely caught it in my hands, realizing its hefty weight. 


what kind of lighter is this?  


I looked at it, its flashy design perfectly mirrored the one of his owner. 

I quickly lit up the cigarette I held between my lips, trying to scramble the idea Dara and Suwon actually set me up for that ing date. 

“You look troubled Jiwon-hyung”. 



who does he think he is? 

acting so close to me out of the blue. 

this bastard. 


“Is it obvious?”. I filled my lungs with hot smoke. 

“Quite” – he looked contented, with his annoying soft laugh. 

I ignored the worthless conversation he was trying to have with me and looked at the grand view of Seoul that the YG terrace allowed from its luxurious garden rooftop.  

“Is it a woman?”. He interrupted that peaceful silence again. 

I released a huge cloud of smoke in front of me, surrendered at the thought of having a nice peaceful break from that crazy morning.  

“The only woman in my life who gives me trouble is my mother”. I responded calmly. 

“Come on hyung, who is she, do I know her?”. 

My teeth started grinding as the smoke flew high with the morning breeze. That person looked determined to worsen my already bad mood. 

“Is it your ex? Still not over her? Well, I can tell looking at you that your ex hurt you, that why you’re so grumpy and won’t let anyone in”. 

“It’s me who hurt her” – I interrupted his useless attempt at analyzing me. 

“Why the hell you asking about my life?! Yours looks way more interesting than mine anyways”. I added. 

“My ex too, I’ve been a rascal and a selfish jerk. It’s been ages but I still love that person. No matter how many I meet, I just see that person…”. 


what the is wrong with him, oversharing all of a sudden? 



“Well, I want to get this person back. Pretty selfish, right?”. 




“Do whatever you want”. 

“What about you, Hyung, what do you plan to do?”. He pushed the of his cigarette in the ashtray behind me. 

“There are things that can’t be repaired. Some things are better left in pieces or you’ll get hurt fixing them”. 

“You seem to act so childishly but can sometimes be wise hyung”. 


is this bastard insulting me now? 



“Don’t what?”. 

“Hurt her”. 


“Don’t make my same mistakes… ”. 

“I’m a stubborn person hyung”. 

“Well, thanks for the lighter… Jiyong”.

 I turned off my cigarette and left the rooftop. 

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