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Epilogue...

1 of (?)

        Sitting on the grassy ground, both of their heads bowing down as their eyes stare on a glossy marble-like stone where a name is engraved, Kim Chaewon.

“Took me a bit long to bring her to you, sorry.” Yujin mumbled, confidently as she places down the bouquet of white and blue roses.

While Minjoo feels like burning, it feels hot, it feels like she has no right to ever step on the ground close to her ex-lover’s grave when she’s already sitting there with Yujin, having her fists clenched on her lap as if she can keep all the guilt and hatred towards herself on those palms of hers.

This one life was wasted, taken away intentionally, not granted any chance to live longer, to apologize and to make up for her sins, sprinkle salt to the wound – she was killed by her own so-called “true lover”.

“Kim Chaewon…” Suddenly not calling the older Unnie again, Yujin uttered the whole name, with an amount of bitterness still lacing on her tone.

“I already told you this, but again, I really want you to live and get mad at you forever rather than like this, but well…”

“We only can hope to see you in the afterlife? Or in our next lives?”

Yujin toned it as a joke, though, she actually, wants to see the older, can’t admit it yet but she somehow misses the company of the so long friend despite that she still feels livid from what happened.

They both remained quiet then when Yujin didn’t continue saying anything while Minjoo didn’t utter anything at all. Both of them have a number of emotions preventing them to speak out more, to console themselves, and verbally assures the dead of the things that they’ve properly settled and finished.

Shame, culpability, remorse, sorrow, apologetic-ness, undesired anger(?).

What else could hold them quiet and unmoving?

And by having those known, silence engulfed them more – yes, they just gazed on the stone, mind’s trying not to flash all the bad, and even the good memories they all shared. Letting the wind be the one to create the noise, whistling through their ears, making plants make a soothing sound with their stems and leaves dancing smoothly, until…

“Yujin…”

After some more moments, the older opened and called for the younger who, “Hmm?” hummed as a response while brushing the dry, dead leaves off of the gravestone.

“Why did you… justify me?”

Yet the question made the younger lift up her head, to drive her eyes towards her wife who averted hers as soon as their gazes met.

“I did?”

It took the Lawyer a minute to decipher the question, while she was trying to comprehend the expression on her wife’s face at the same time. And as on it, she repeated an internal question…

“Did I really, do?”

“You know, you said you have shortcomings too that’s why I was able to do such an act, but don’t you think it’s just my fault?”

Until now, it’s still it.

“I could’ve talked to you about it first, right? But instead, I just acted on my own and… betrayed our marriage.”

It's still the issue, and mayhaps, will always be the one to be questioned.

Yujin didn’t feel confused yet, she knows deep inside her what the answer is, if there's one person she can't lie to, or she can't convince wholly, that's herself.

But it feels wrong, it feels heavy again. There are those unwanted emotions again, hitting her with the cold wind together.

And she wasn't able to answer, causing those emotions to grow even larger within the entire time they were just there, sitting on the graveyard's ground. It was rapid enough that her logical reasoning which she did give her best to grip onto, lost from her hold, keeping the silence surrounding them.

After half an hour, they both decided to go with Yujin's initiative.

"Let's go." And Minjoo could hear the stern tone, zipping her lips from saying possibly, triggering lines.

Well, the older knows it already, ever since the moment she asked such unusual, heavy question vocally, she already knew she poked Yujin's mood the younger probably tried to keep light and fine.

So, she just simply nodded, obeyed, and went with her back to their car.

Minjoo was expecting Yujin to open the car's door, after getting back together, the Lawyer began to do even the things she never did before but today...

It's all coming back.

Yujin is being distant.

Yujin is being cold.

Being effortless.

Was it her question...

Was it the way she toned it?

Was it her delivery?

Or is it her in general?

Maybe Yujin still hates what happened, what she did, or maybe, her in general.

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