The skies are blue, 

the cloud has never been this fluffy.

People said when notice the sky has it beauty, 

You are indeed happy. 

I am indeed happy infact even if I my parent may hates me. How can his son who their adore so much, their  bright child that they count for, has resign from prestige company only state the reason is just because ?

" KIM HONGJOONG ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME? " shouted my mum to me furiously .

I possed my body straight up faced my mum but I did not listening to her. I could hear nothing from her. To be frank, I just notice there is a new painting hang behind my mum. She does fancy modern art movement but why Monet's clone is here? 

" STOP DAYDREAMING! " shout my mum again.

 I am back focusing at her. She took a deep breathe ,drink some water to calm herself and looked desperately to me as ever. 

" Just go get back to your futute boss said that it was a mistake and you did not feel well. " comducted  mum. 

' I do not want to, mum. " My mom snapped the glass on the table and broke it infront of me.

There is a broke quietness in the air. I am scared, I just watched a differ side of my mother.  I have never seen this kind of violance act in live from my mother. 

" ARE KIDDING ME, DO YOU KNOE HOW LUNATIC YOU SOUND IS RIGHT NOW.  " 

"DO YOU EVEN THINK OF YOUR FATHER A BIT BEFORE YOU DO SO? "

" THAT COMPANY IS YOUR FATHER'S FRIEND! HE EXPECT YOU TO DO MORE. HOW YOUR FATHER FACE THEM !" 

I hold my hand and said calmly, 

" I am sorry, I do not mean harm. I just did not want to do it. " She wake up from her sit disbelieve that I still have an energy left to answer her. 

" YOU STILL MANAGE TO SPEAK? STILL OUT OF WORLD REASON YOU CHOOSE WORD JUST BECAUSE?? "

" I  am sorry, ma. " I help ma to sit down and calm her nerve.I still have not seen any sign of dad yet. She looked at me, 

" He went fishing. Its already been a week. " she said. He hold my hand and rubbed it with care of a mother. A desperate, hopeful and strong will.

" Hongjoong. I want my husband back " she speak in the word of desperation, hopeful and strong will.She look so sad.She must be really miss him. 

I look at mum's face. She look davestate. 

" I will do something. Mom." she look at me shocked, but a bit lighter than before. I look at the dinner table from there, the food are still untouch. Mum usually eat at eight but its already late. I look at her again, and  reach the paper bag. 

" I have something for you. Its braised lotus , Seol made it. "handed the papper bag to her. 

Seol really love braised lotus. It was her mum recipe. I still remember when we were kids, her mum cooked it when I first came to their houss. My mum and her mum are friend from an anciedent. They both date same guy and he was busted by them. Somehow due to their personality, they became friend instead of enemy. 

Its true that friendship came happen in any type, anyway in a mysterious ways that only God know. Just like my story and Seol. 

Me and Seol was awkward at first.Never cross in my mind that I would be friend with beautiful girl like her. She was bright, beautiful, fearless, optimistic and unpredictable person. While I,  I was a nerd kids who always sit infront because he was short and smart and sometimes awkward as . 

I still remember the day she got her period. It was a messy cute experience. I gave her my sport school uniform and since that we help each other. We gain each other trust in a unique experience. 

I was there when she faced hard time in her life. The black episode she called. 

She did not cried when her parent passed away.  It was odd , as a young it almost seem like she had no feeling at all. I was kind of scared of her at that time.

I still remember clearly of the event, she wore her school uniform that day. Black ballerina shoes, white lace flower sock, yellow backpack and red ribbon tied.  She look lose at first but now as an adult, I realize she just  let them go. She kiss them when they are about to set them away to meet Him. 

She was so mature at her age. At that moment I have decided to look up at her. She was alone in this world and she realized that. 

Seol ah smile a bit longer, you used to have a beautiful charming smile. A real true smile not the one you faked it. 

 

 

I get in the car when the phone rang.  I look at the screen, 

SEOL 

"Hello, Seol ah. " 

" Hi, hmm I will be late tonight. Go eat dinner by yourself. " 

" Argh all right. What you up to? " I look outside thr window. 

" Nahh just my stuff." It is our code.

  We usually mention " stuff " whenever we want to manage something important that was supposed to be unknow or simply known as a secret that you did want to share. 

We use it since we been friend as we like to keep out secret and self time. 

" Okay, be safe " 

" Hmm " she mummed. 

" Humm. " She hung up.  

Well then there are something I have to manage. 

I dial no. 2 on my phone.

" Hello,  Appa? " 

" Where are you? " I asked. 

 

 

I look at the back of man in the fisherman chair. It was located at the edge of the river, are the same spot that dad always be whenever he fishing.

It was no hard effort to find him as no other human beside him. There is a cabin located at the right of the lake. Dad and I are always spend time when there is a fish season.

To be honest, I hate fishing but I do enjoy the time we spend with. My only favourite moment is whenever said " What Sunhwa ganna love this!  " which is the signal we will go back home right away. I walked toward him. 

" Dad? " I walked quietly ,tried not to scared him or his fish.

" Lower your voice, you going to scared the fish away. " he responded without even look at me. He still focusing on his bait.

" Sit." dad said.   I move beside him and sit as he told. 

Neither of us start any conversation for the ten minutes. It was such a deep silence as always.

" Have you eat, yet? " as he finally spoke without look at me. 

" I have, with mom. "

"Ah. " he said. I look at his side face, his facial hair are a perfect example of a man did not shave for a weeks. 

" Dad, please come home, mom is worry. Sh- "

" I know my wife but I do not understand is. Aren't you own me an apologize? " he cutted my word , still without take his eyes off the fish's bait. Without my knowledge, I also look at the fish' s bait. I do not dare to look at him. 

" I am sorry for hurt you, Dad."  I hold up my hand in pocket. 

" But I am still stick with my plan. "

" Huh, what plan?  Just because? Is that you called a plan? " he mad at me. 

" I want to be a composer. " Finally, I spill the tea out. After all these years, I kept from my parent, I said it loud out. This time not by writting on note, nor by watching inspirational movie but vocally in real present person. 

" You say what? " he finally look at me, after all these cool and intense 30 minutes sitting together in one place.

I rise up from my unpleasent seat. I no longer want to be a coward. I want to  a dare dreamer not daydreamer.

" I want to be a composer, Dad." I look at my dad.

" I like writing song and listen to music. " I said smiley. 

" Nonsence , your only music you like was Vivaldi. And it was only for your memory class. " he responded. 

" Well, now I want to write music. " my dad look disbelief. 

" No, you like Math, Science not Music. " he put his fishing rod down. 

 "And you want to be an engineer! " he said loudly. I cannot belief he still used the engineer words. 

" You want me to be engineer! " I said. He shocked, incredulousness of my statement. 

 "Dad, I do like Science and Math and Engineering but not as career. " I tried to persuade him. 

" You are good at that! " I stand up from his seat. I get close to him and said, 

" Dad, I have dream. " 

"Yes, to be an engineer. "

" YOUR DREAM! " I shouted. He dismayed and anguished of my action. 

Oh God here we go again. I love my dad but I had a dream. I stepped back to give him some room. 

" I am sorry dad. Maybe you just do not know me as a whole. Again, I am sorry. Dad.I did not mean to shouted at you.  " he sit back on his chair and hold his fishing rod. I stepped one step backward. 

" I just want you to know please come home. Mum miss you. " I walk away from that lake after I told the main purpose of my visit. 

" Kim Hongjoong !" Dad shouted.  I stopped my step and look back, feeling nervously fluttering of what he might said.

He was standing from his seat, look at me and shout, 

" Don't you dare come home until you fully time of what you said. "

My face my way back and continue my step. It was distressing. I have no idea word could be that tragic. 

I guess I olny have one place left to live.