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“Don’t leave…”

Her words have frozen me for a moment, my own brain questioning my ears if they really heard those. With how her voice sounded so soft while whispering, it feels unreal. On top of that, her hand is still above mine and her thumb is softly caressing my fingers. I can literally feel my heart skipping a beat or two.

I want to turn her around, kiss her forehead, and assure her that I’m not leaving. But I’m afraid that will only ruin the moment. SinB feels so vulnerable with me right now, I don’t want her to feel hesitant and back away from me. So I end up just tightening my hold around her as I take the bold step of entwining our fingers.

I miss her. I miss being this close with her, getting intoxicated by her scent and feeling a lot just because of her proximity. I miss the unexplainable surge of emotions whenever I’m with her, just with her, even without the . I was stupid for denying it to myself over and over but I’ve always known I wanted to be with her. I still do, even more than that. I didn’t realize until now that she has already captured my damned feelings fully.

As I feel her relaxing onto my embrace, I release a deep breath, relieved and satisfied. She never really let her guards down around me and feeling her like this seems like I’m with a different SinB. Almost a minute into the embrace however, she lets go of my hand so instantly, I try to hold her again but she doesn’t let me as she holds my wrist instead. I thought she’s going to push me away this time but I’m wrong again because I find myself facing her as she snakes her arm around my waist and the other softly holding my neck.

“S-SinB?” I stutter out.

I have no idea what to say but her actions have made my brain go blank that the only thought I have is to say something and I end up just calling her name. I look into her eyes but I see nothing. I can’t see or feel any emotion from it. When I say she gives me mixed signals, she literally and always does.

“The thing about Moonbin… it’s not true right?”

My eyes automatically break contact. I didn't expect she would open that up. "I w-was..."

“You lied, didn’t you?” She asks and with how her voice sounds so small, I realize the whole thing has been bothering her. Is she jealous? Or just plain possessive that her toy now has someone else to be with? The thought has my throat tighten.

“What if I say it’s true?”

“I won’t believe you. You wouldn’t have come here if it is.”

“It is true. I’m dating him.” I don’t really know what has gotten into me. I keep sputtering things I don’t ponder about.

I study her face and see her blink twice, looking like she didn’t expect what I said. But as soon as she notices me staring and trying to read her, she looks away as her hand pushes my head into the crook of her neck. I’m suddenly left with no choice but be intoxicated further by her scent.

“Liar.”

“W-What? I’m r-really—” I try to lean back to look into her eyes but she has me locked in that position.

"No, I don't believe you. Stop talking,"

I halt my movements as I hear her voice almost trembling and as I feel her gulping hard. I bite my lip, my heartbeat speeding up. This lights a hope in me, that maybe, she does care if I'm seeing someone else or not. That maybe, with how she holds me close and asks me hesitantly if it’s true, she feels the same way as I do.

"Tell me, w-why does it bother you so much?"

"It doesn't."

"You're the liar between us."

"Shut up."

I lean away and look up at her. Thankfully, she doesn’t stop me and only returns the stare. Then, I don’t know what exactly has gotten into me but I suddenly lean in and kiss her on the lips. It’s just a short, chaste kiss but nonetheless, my insides are screaming with delight. When I move away to look at her reaction, I gasp as she abruptly pulls me back into the kiss. My hands automatically reach her shoulders as an instinct. Her lips are pouncing eagerly on mine that I’m left with no choice but just kiss her back, letting her have the lead.

The kiss feels like a jolting concoction of emotions. It’s different from any other kisses we shared, any other kisses she gave me. She’s careful with her hand resting in the small of my back, her fingers in my nape drawing random figures. It’s overwhelming that I’m subconsciously her shirt and pulling her towards me even though there’s already no space between us. I don’t know if this is lust but I want to hold her a little closer.

She kisses me fervently yet in a way, it feels soft and innocent. It has me forget everything else as I slowly melt in her arms. I want the time to stop. Even just for a day, I want to spend it with her, holding her, kissing her, or just staying beside her.

The kiss stops as we both gasp for air. When I open my eyes to look at her, she’s already staring. Her cheeks are tinted with pinkish glow and her eyes look solemn. I stare in awe, my heart swooning at how beautiful she looks right now. She’s too ethereal to be true. Oh god. This woman is making me go crazy.

I don’t know if I should tell her about my own feelings or not. If I tell her, it’s too late. We’re both going to have our lives gambled in the Arena tomorrow and among the twenty-four tributes, only one will come out alive. We can’t be together.

We can't be together.

I bite my lip as the realization hits me again. I gently push her away and lay on my back. "I-I'm sorry... I s-shouldn't—“

"You shouldn't what? Stop lying Yerin. You are not dating Moonbin." She says and then there's a hesitant pause. "You are too conflicted with your own feelings to engage yourself in a relationship with someone else."

I look back at her, my anger rising hearing her words. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Why did you lie?"

"No SinB. Why did YOU lie?" I ask her back, emphasizing the word. "During the training you told me I'm a mere toy for you but in the interview you made it look like you were talking about me when you said you like someone. And then, you go questioning about Moonbin like a jealous, possessive girlfriend you shouldn't be. Now, you hold me close and kiss me like that, like I am someone special. Tell me, what do you really want to imply? Because it's making my head hurt thinking about these mixed signals you're giving me!"

I burst out, letting my thoughts be expressed. To my dismay however, she only sighs and looks away. "What's the point of talking about it? This world's too cruel for things like that."

I stare for a moment, not knowing what to do with her being like this. If she thinks the world is too cruel then why is she doing this to me? Leaving me in the gray areas to die with unsettled thoughts. She's so stubborn and it's annoying me.

"Okay." I simply say and sit up, not wanting to argue any longer. I spare her a glance and toss off the blanket, about to leave the bed. But she's quick to hold the hem of my shirt as she stops me from leaving.

"Where are you going? Did I tell you to leave?"

"Did I ask for your permission?"

That has gotten her to pause briefly. She must've not expected me to talk back like that.

"Yerin..."

"Let go." I sternly say but she just tightens her hold onto my shirt.

"Stay," she whispers and when I look back at her, she adds, "...please."

The tension I feel instantly softens hearing that. The sincerity is there and I can see it in her eyes. It makes my heartbeat go on a wild race again and my annoyance completely vanishes as she continues to stare at me pleadingly. Oh god, what do I do with her.

I release a deep breath and sit back down but as I'm about to say something, SinB suddenly pushes me down the bed, lifts the blanket above us, and hovers over me. I hold my breath as I stare into her eyes, surprised.

"I'm not sure about everything else but please, don't leave me..." She whispers, causing me to gulp. "This time... at least for once." She adds and leans down to rest her head just above my chest.

Now, I'm forced to control my labored breaths and racing heartbeat, afraid that she can hear and feel it. Wh