Yeh Shuhua deserves the world, but all you can offer her is kisses and caresses exchanged in the darkness of her room.

She says she doesn't care, "all I need is you by my side", but you do care. You started caring a while ago and this feeling is growing inside your heart like a pest, a fruitless tree with deep roots, poisonous roots. They're killing you from the inside out.

You wish you could shout to the world how much you love her, but you know it would affect the group. Probably the years of hard work you and your friends had would be thrown away in an instant. That's the power of a "date scandal" has in the life of an idol, unfair, and you wouldn't have the courage to do that to your friends.

What if Shuhua met someone who has that courage? Someone who would want to hold her hand on the street, without the false pretense of being friends. Someone who would proudly profess Shuhua was their loving girlfriend. Someone who would take the risk. Someone brave. Shuhua deserves that. She deserves everything good the universe had to offer. Would Shuhua remain by your side, hidden under the title of your best friend, if she had a better option? She says she wouldn't care, but what if she would? Deeply inside your heart, you know you shouldn't blame her if she did.

You're afraid and she understands you, the fear of someone noticing, a prolonged stare, a not so discreet caress, a leaked audio. Your tsundere side: an armor so no one will notice anything. Oh, how it hurts when you have to act cold when she shows you affection. You want to kiss her all the time, but you can't do it when hundreds of eyes are glued on you, judging every step you take. You want to receive everything Shuhua has to offer, but you can't. You want to cry and give up being a singer, you just want to be Shuhua's girlfriend and make everything she asks you to. 

Shuhua is a caring person and oh, you really love that. She hangs on your arm as she does with the other members, whining about something you're too distracted by your own fear to understand. It shouldn't attract attention, it probably wouldn't, but the fear takes over and you push her and act like you're annoyed, the role of tsundere fits you more than you would ever like. You're disgusted with yourself when you see a glimpse of hurt in your girlfriend's beautiful eyes. But that's just the way it is, so you keep acting like you don't love the way Shuhua is clingy, whiny, sweet, beautiful, perfect.

Later, when you're alone with her in her room, you cover her with kisses and apologize to he