[LEETEUK]

Twenty-three years.

Apparently, my first love was a twenty-three-year misunderstanding.

“That time, she won’t even recognize me as her grandson. Instead, she remembers me as her granddaughter. So, I had to dress in girl’s clothes just so she would be stable. I really hated it actually. But seeing how happy she was spoiling a granddaughter that she never had… I just accepted it. No one will see me anyway.”

“But I saw you.” was the only thing I can say after his revelation.

“Well, yeah… sorry that your stupid brain as a child was deceived.” He replied with a grin and I knew right away that he was suddenly joking to lighten up the mood.

“YA!” I jokingly complained. At the same time, I also took the chance to verbalize my pent-up frustration over how things unfolded.

I looked at him and caught him also staring at me while he tried to hold onto his brewing laughter to which he failed and even infected me. Like fools, we found ourselves giggling at the small cottage in the middle of the rose garden.

After we exhausted ourselves laughing over the honestly silly matter, Heechul finally stood up from the stairs.

“I think I’ll drive back to Seoul now.” He said as he stretched his body a bit.

“You’re not going back inside?” I asked hoping he would say yes.

“I guess not. Or I’ll just end up having another argument with father.” He replied before turning to face me and offering his hand for a handshake.

“and… nice to meet you again Jungsoo. Let’s catch up later.”

I hesitated for a fraction of a second but still ended up taking his hand.

“nice to meet again too, I guess.” I shyly replied.

“So… does this makes us friends now?” he asked again, still not letting go of my hand.

“well, you can say that.” I said candidly.

“Great!” Heechul replied before showing me a bright and very familiar smile before finally turning back and walking towards the front of the house.

As I watched his back walking away, a thought remained floating in my head.

, why do I feel like I still like him despite all the facts.

As I drive myself home, I took the opportunity to try and clear my head. As I think about the past more and more, the clearer it becomes that it was really all my fault to begin with.

I kept putting the blame to Heechul for crossdressing but it was actually me who just went and concluded everything. Thinking about it now, he never said he was a girl. It was just me and my stupid seven-year-old brain that is attracted to his feminine features that assumed everything and probably distorted my current memories to fit into my liking.

I suddenly felt a bit guilty for being petty during the last few months while hating on Heechul unnecessarily. At the same time, I felt scared as it feels that if I would be honest to myself right now, the revelation just only made me more confused if I still haven’t got over my infatuation for him or if it just made me like him more.

“Aish!”

I mumbled to myself as I look at my reflection at the mirror, annoyed at myself for having a hard time choosing what to wear for work that day. It’s my tenth shirt but I’m still not contented with what I see.

After an hour, I finally settled for a black top and a blue coat that I haven’t worn before.