The dreams were their second chance.

or

Taeyeon tries to forget. Jessica makes her remember.

-

I’m staying up

I don’t wanna come down from your love

We’ll get lost together

Let me flow

Don’t ever let me come

Down from your love

From your love

-

When they finally met again, Taeyeon didn’t think it’d be this way. She imagined a less cliché scenario— one where one of them would give in to a phone call maybe. Taeyeon would probably accidentally dial Jessica’s unchanged number while heavily plastered. But her bet on who would call first was actually on Jessica and not herself.

 

Jessica was always braver, not to mention the one with a working brain between them two (read: nine). But the call never came. Taeyeon kept sober, Jessica stayed practical.

 

It wasn’t enough to prevent Taeyeon from imagining— keyword, imagine— their eventual re-meeting. Even so, no scenario from her weird, incoherent, mind could ever compare to this.

 

Taeyeon was sitting inside her favorite coffee shop with her leather-bound notebook wide open on the rustic table, trying to come up with a new song. It was time to write again, she thought. 

 

The café was oddly quiet, sure it was known for its privacy, the main reason Taeyeon frequented the place. She looked around and realized why— there was no one else inside except for her. No other customers, not even a barista in sight, just a weird white haze from outside the window seeping into the dusty lit space.

 

Until the bell above the front door rang and its echo broke the quiet of the room, signaling a new person. Taeyeon excitedly turned around to get a glimpse of whoever they were. Contrary to what most people thought— as solitary of a person as she was — she was equally as open and receptive to human companionship. 

 

With just one glance, Taeyeon knew that the person, a woman, was beautiful. Not just the typical cosmetic glamour she’s grown accustomed to in the industry. No, this woman was other-worldly and yet also very familiar. 

 

That perfect curve from her cheekbones dipping into lips that were formed into a straight line with no trace of a smile. Until Taeyeon moves her gaze up and makes direct eye contact. Those sharp, ice barred eyes were definitely more than familiar.

 

“Sooyeon,” Taeyeon breathed out, saying her name like a prayer, breaking the silence for the second time around.

 

Jessica’s eyes widen comically in recognition. “This isn’t my office,” she quickly supplied before exiting the shop.

 

Taeyeon sighs, not knowing how else to react or even process what just transpired. When she was finally almost able to convince herself that the earlier events were just a figment of her imagination, the door reopens and in came Jessica once more. 

 

“Wha—“ Just as fast as she re-entered, Jessica turned around again to exit only to pop right back in.

 

This goes on for a few more times like a loop. But it always ended up the same way, with Jessica sprawling back inside the shop. Taeyeon knew that the other woman would attempt another exit even if it seemed impossible, to the point that she noticed the other girl’s breath was starting to get labored. 

 

Taeyeon thought it was time to put some sense into her before she exhausted herself further. “I would stop doing that if I were you,” she spoke softly, not wanting to frighten the woman.

 

The other woman was silent before finally looking in her direction and locking onto Taeyeon’s eyes. “Thank goodness I’m me and not you then,” Jessica sarcastically quipped. Typical, Taeyeon thought.

 

“Can you please cut the attitude for once and sit down? You’re giving me secondary fatigue just from watching.”

 

“Then stop watching,” she bit back immaturely.

 

Taeyeon was preparing herself for a full on argument like the kid she was but turns out she didn’t need to as Jessica tentatively took the seat across from her despite the earlier protest. Taeyeon had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from smiling cheekily. 

 

Even after all these years, Jessica would still listen to her.

 

“How are you so calm right now? Sitting there like none of this is weird,” Jessica emphasized, gesturing her hands around the room.

 

Taeyeon shrugs. “I just prefer not to aimlessly tire myself out. I’d rather think about the situation without doing any rash actions.” She didn’t know why she kept digging when she knew it would rile up Jessica even more.

 

Jessica wanted to lash back, honestly Taeyeon wanted to hear it like the masochist she was. But Jessica didn’t do any of that. Instead, she kept quiet and eyed Taeyeon’s cup of coffee sitting idly on the table, untouched.

 

“Where can I get one of those?” Jessica pointed at the beverage. “Actually you know what? I need something stronger, like wine maybe.”

 

“Why would you want to drink wine this early in the morning?” Sure, Taeyeon knew how much the other girl loved her alcohol but it was barely even nine in the morning.

 

“What do you mean, it’s like a quarter to seven in the evening. That’s the perfect time to drink wine and don’t even try to argue, I’m the connoisseur here.”

 

Now that made Taeyeon’s forehead furrow, how did they have almost the exact opposite interpretation of time? Taeyeon brought her wrist up to check her watch only to find its clock hands going haywire in a circle continuously.

 

“What the ?”

 

Jessica noticed and did the same thing, checking her own watch. It was in the same condition as Taeyeon.

 

“What the hell is going on?”

 

Taeyeon had no answer, she was as clueless as Jessica. She tried looking around again, it didn’t register in the beginning but it was really weird that white mist was floating just below their legs like a fog machine was coughing it up somewhere in the room. But cafes don’t have fog machines, do they?

 

A curious look to her coffee made her notice how the swirls of milk from the latte art kept spinning like a spiral. She’s pretty sure lattes never did that, it looked like an animated picture. 

 

The puzzle started to shift and click in Taeyeon’s mind. The mist, the zero company, the latte.gif, and the arbitrary time. She sounded like the lead character in a philosophical book now but she’s pretty sure she’s figured it out.

 

“I think…” Taeyeon starts tentatively, unsure, “I think this is a dream.”

 

“That’s an idea,” Jessica deadpans and reaches out for the forgotten latte, manners be damned— she’s lived with the girl for years in the past after all. The shameless girl took a sip then suddenly frowned apprehensively. 

 

“You said this was coffee.”

 

“Uhh… because it is?”

 

“Then why did I taste a 2018 Ornellaia just then?”

 

Taeyeon took the mug and drank as well then raised her eyebrow. “It’s coffee for me,” she shrugged for the second time.

 

Jessica simply blinked multiple times before resigning herself further into the padded seat.

 

“Well then…” she starts. “We have three options here. A, your taste buds are whack—“

 

“Hey, why are you bringing my taste buds into this? What if it was your taste buds that are abnormal! Which is completely believable because you drink wine like five times a day! They can probably only register the taste of wine now.”

 

“Okay, you did not need to bring my possible alcohol dependence into this. Now listen will you.”

 

Taeyeon noncommittally gestured for her to continue, her stubborn demeanor refusing to go away.

 

“B, either of us is tripping so bad that a hallucination like this exists—“

 

“Probably you…”

 

Jessica sent Taeyeon an icy glare, warning her to shut up. Taeyeon just gulps and squirms in her seat.

 

“—C, please know that it pains me to admit this… but your dream theory may be correct.”

 

Taeyeon abruptly stood up at that moment, her seat scratching noisily against the wooden floor before making a show of clapping slowly. When else would she be able to hear Jessica actually agree with her that she was right?

 

“You are insufferable.” 

 

All Jessica remembers as she gets pulled out of the dream—abruptly and ridiculously agonizing— and is unceremoniously plunged back into reality was a simple, proud, dimpled smile on another girl’s face. Jessica groaned as she stretched from her awkward position on the couch. The power nap that was supposed to re-energize her instead made her body feel heavy with lead and confused for some reason. 

 

Confused because that smile was all too familiar and yet she wasn’t ready for its implications.

 

She couldn’t be back to dreaming about her again. She just can’t.

 

 

--

 

 

Even before Jessica opened her eyes, she just knew it was already like the last time they saw each other. And just like before, Taeyeon was already present before her as if she was just calmly waiting for Jessica’s arrival and not anyone else’s. 

 

“It’s you again.” 

 

Jessica swears she’s nicer than this. But something about the way Taeyeon just openly stared at her in turn made Jessica feel vulnerable. And whenever she felt exposed, she automatically puts her walls up, anything to protect herself.

 

After a beat, Taeyeon finally breaks their staring contest and replies, “I’m glad to have graced your presence with mine then.”

 

“That doesn’t make sense.” Jessica’s forehead knitted together. “Like, at all.”

 

“It’s a dream, it’s not supposed to make sense. Anything can happen here,” she says accompanied with a shrug.

 

“Right, because you’re the dream expert and all that.”

 

“Yes and from now on, you are only to refer to me as Doctor Kim Taeyeon, dream specialist.”

 

“You’re ridiculous.” Jessica wanted to say it with spite but her ensuing laughter does nothing to accompany the sentiment, Taeyeon laughing along.

 

Only when the laughter dies down does Jessica take the chance to look around. Only then did she realize where they were— or rather what their dreamscape decided to look like. The backdrop could only make her snicker in barely concealed annoyance.

 

“Seriously, who conjures up these dreams for us? The old dormitory balcony? Really?” Jessica inquired with her head tilted up to the sky, as if a higher deity could explain this sick joke.

 

It wasn’t just any balcony, it was a place loaded with memories and deeper meanings. Where the girls used to confide with each other even with the brusque, chilly air around them. But most importantly, where Taeyeon and Jessica last spoke at; a sort of symbolic beginning of the end.

 

And just like the memory—so clear and vivid—it was Jessica who walks into the balcony yet again, Taeyeon sitting on top over the railings. It used to scare her and the girls a lot when Taeyeon did this, it was reckless and yet she stubbornly assured them she wouldn’t let herself fall or get hurt.

 

“One day, you’re going to lose your balance and actually fall off that thing.”

 

“Better happen in this dream then. At least I would end up just reliving a nightmare and maybe then would I stop endangering myself like this.” 

 

“Typical, cynical, Kim Taeyeon.” 

 

Jessica shakes her head but walks the short distance between them and stands next to the other girl, carefully leaning her weight on the metal rail lest she made them both fall into their demise.

 

“That’s me.”

 

A comfortable silence fell between them. Neither one tried to break the solitude. It was something the two girls haven’t had the pleasure of experiencing for quite some time. 

 

But being here right now, in the balcony of their old dormitory, brought back a lot of thoughts they tried so hard to lock away. It was as if the dream gods planned for all of this to happen. To paint them a memory suspended in time and forcing them to relive it.

 

For whatever reason that Jessica didn’t want to understand.

 

Jessica knew she had to say something. She was already planning a speech in her head until Taeyeon beat her to it.

 

“I should have fought harder to make you stay,” Taeyeon says, finally breaking the silence. “In