She stared at the familiar figure; her favorite figure. He was there, sitting beside her. His focus was on the movie that they watched together. She laughed with him whenever he laughed and furrowed her eyebrows while he did that. She didn’t even realize since when this person meant a lot to her. She was afraid to open her heart at first, thus she was being all cautious with her own actions or expectations to be exact. She had lost this person a year ago, he had left her without even gave her chance to reply anything. She cried the day he left and she also cried the day he came back. It was the roughest month in her life then suddenly he came; greeted her after a year, she can’t help but cry in joy. Start from that day, they got closer again, even closer than before. She glad that he came back and stayed, he said that it was impossible to leave after seeing her reactions on the day he back. She treasured this person a lot as a friend, best buddy; but these days, it turned out to be something more than that. He helped her to heal from her wound; she finally can open up her heart bit by bit, to no one else, but him. But little did she know this person was broken; his wound seemed unhealed. He suffered from his latest break up; that girl meant a lot to him. The pain was vivid on his eyes, too vivid to the point that it also hurt her.

“What time do you want to sleep?” A familiar voiced woke her from the daydreaming.

“Uh? I don’t know but maybe late? You?” She replied.

“Maybe late too.”

“You should sleep earlier though.”

“Said the one who also sleep late.”

He playfully scoffed which gained a playful hit from her. They had always been like this, joking around a little bit too much every time they talked. He seemed a bit old outside just because he can’t convey his feelings well while on the other hand, she took the bright role; the one who talked a lot and made him can finally open up bit by bit. They completed each other through their own traits. They spent their time together yet she can’t lie that she was afraid that he would leave again.

–

“Suggest me some good songs.” He poked her.

“Old songs?”

“Yep!”

She loved it when he asked for song suggestions, simple yet meaningful. Even though, she was all talkative person; she also had difficulty to convey her feelings thus she expressed it through songs. Little did he know the songs that she gave to him, mostly speaking about her feelings toward him.

“Here, listen to this.” She gave one of her earphone to him.

“What song is this?”

“Just listen it first and tell me what you think.”

“It’s not that bad but too slow for me.”

“Ah right! I forgot that ‘too slow’ song isn’t your type.”

“Right! What’s the tittle?”

“I can’t make you love me by Bonnie Raitt.”

“Ah..”

Lied, she didn’t forget that slow songs didn’t get his interest; it was the way she conveyed her feeling in secret. She knew that he couldn’t even love someone else other than her ex and she understand. It would be awkward if she told him, thus she wouldn’t ever confess to him and kept it by herself. She was afraid if she fell in love with her own best friend yet she already did without even realize it. The moment when she started to open up her heart, she ended up hurting herself again. It wasn’t his fault, it was hers.

I’ll close my eyes and I won’t see

The love you don’t feel when you’re holding me

Morning will come and I’ll do it what’s right

Just give me ‘til then to give up this fight

And I will give up this fight

‘Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t

You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t

Here in the dark, in these final hours

I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power

But you won’t, no you won’t

‘Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t

Jiho kept her book closed, only for her. No one knew how deep her feelings toward him, it kept getting bigger and bigger every time they talked. She loved details and he gave her those details. Jiho glad that she could love someone else after her latest break up. Even though she knew that wouldn’t be ended up with that person or simply confessed to him. It was more than enough for her, loving Taeyong and having him by her side as companion was enough. She was beyond grateful for that even though she can’t make him love her.

“I can’t really make you love me if you don’t and I won’t ever do that either. Because I know how big your love for her and she means a lot to you.” She mumbles herself in silence thus he wouldn't hear her.

Jiho didn’t want to be greedy; she let her feelings safely reserved inside a jar of her heart until someday she could finally throw it away.