Summary:  In which Minjoo relives the same day, over and over again, the same day where Yujin kept Minjoo close to her beating heart, until it wasn’t anymore. 

Word Count: 9006

Hashtag: #JinjooFiesta_OfHiraeth

 

Of Hiraeth and Inevitable Epoch

 

April 29, 2031. 09:01am.

 

Minjoo's eyes flutter open, the warm and pale sunlight seeping through the curtains to her cold skin as she groans at the morning alarm ringing ever so loudly through her ears. Minjoo stretches her arms as she feels an arm around the small of her waist and of course, how could she forget the most beautiful human being was with her right now?

 

This placed an immediate and radiant smile on Minjoo's face as she turned to the person who was cuddling her. Minjoo kissed her forehead fervently, then her nose gently, then she captured her lips, letting it linger for a while until the latter stirs awake, tightening her hug while smiling at the kiss.

 

"Good morning, Mrs. Ahn." 

 

"Good morning to you too, Ahn Yujin." Minjoo giggles gently as she lays herself on top of Yujin, just admiring her ethereal features like she's on cloud nine. 

 

If this was a movie, Minjoo would've just ran out on the streets, high-fiving each and every innocent pedestrian walking on the sidewalk but no, this wasn't any movie nor a dream. Much to their delight, it was all real and very surreal.

 

"What?" Yujin finally breaks the silence when she notices Minjoo boring holes through her with her loving gaze.

 

"Nothing. I just can't believe I married an idiot like you." Minjoo chuckles breathily which earned a roll of eyes from her wife.

 

"We've been married for two years already, sweetheart. Why are you still thinking about it and why are you still calling me an idiot?" Yujin pinches Minjoo's cheek gently which leaves Minjoo blushing like they first met.

 

"Nothing... I-I.... I just really love you." Minjoo took this chance to kiss Yujin's cheek in a very lenient way, wanting Yujin to feel every inch of her love like it was the last. 

 

"I really love you too, Mrs. Ahn." Yujin grins, not even trying to hide the blush on her cheeks. Yujin finally lifts Minjoo up and hugs her ever so tightly.

 

This was one of the moments where the both of them just show how much they love each other. Words could never match their actions, so they display affection to make each other aware of their ineffable love. Minjoo is indeed very fond of it and she cherishes it every single day, for the rest of her life.

 

"Come on, let's get out of bed and fill that empty stomach of yours." Minjoo pulls Yujin out of the bed but she never lets go of her hand, feeling the spaces between their fingers fit each other like perfect puzzle pieces.

 

So Ahn Minjoo does cook breakfast for the both of them, enough to make them energized for this free day before Yujin leaves for Cheongju for a week to fix her papers that were left unaided since she left for Seoul, where she met Minjoo. 

 

"Do you really need to leave at night, Yujin?"

 

"Yes, mom expects me to be there for dinner. It's only an hour and a half drive from here." 

 

And all that Minjoo does is just nod.

 

They do spend the whole day with each other's company, playing in their house like they always do. 

 

Yujin and Minjoo build a fort in their living room, all pillows from every room, not missing one, all piled up and stacked to their heart's content.

 

"Yujin, you forgot the blankets!"

 

"Wait! I'll be right back!" Yujin runs like a wind to their room and Minjoo giggles.

 

And they kiss,

 

Yujin shifts her weight against Minjoo's frame, as their kiss inside their mini fort gets a little bit heated. From just simple pecks to this, and Minjoo doesn't even complain.

 

However, Yujin, who was fully immersed in their mini kissing session, accidentally pulls one of the blankets causing their fort to collapse against the both of them. Minjoo chuckles at Yujin's clumsiness.

 

"I guess we have to rebuild it again."

 

and they cuddle, not minding the entire world moving.

 

Yujin embraces Minjoo while they lay against their fort that was currently in ruins. They did think about organizing the pillows back in place, but for the both of them, time is too precious to be wasted on small things that can be done later, so they hold each other like they won't ever let go.

 

They lay silent, just their steady breaths filling the living room. As for Minjoo, she was admiring the beauty of the silence, a once-in-a-blue-moon chance for the whole world to stay silent and luckily, she was in the love of her life's arms.

 

"This is random but, do you ever think going back in time is possible?" Yujin was the one to break the silence, the question catching Minjoo off-guard. She hums in amusement before answering.

 

Minjoo suddenly fathoms about Yujin random question. Today was one of those days when Yujin just talks, her eyes full of seriousness while bringing up things that are interesting. Come to think of it, Yujin's mind is indeed full of wonderful thoughts, so much for being a wonderful woman she is.

 

"Is it too random, Minjoo-ah? I'm sorry." Yujin chuckles but Minjoo just dismisses it gently, her eyes catching Yujin's lovely ones.

 

"It may, it may not. We are not sure but everything that passes cannot be changed anymore."

 

They fall silent again but this time Minjoo nuzzles on Yujin's neck, finding a home-like solace on her wife's arms again.

 

"I wish time would stop, Minjoo. Moments like this are priceless." Yujin tightens her hold.

 

Minjoo hums, savoring the sweet scent of lemongrass and lavender Yujin possesses.

 

I wish this moment never ends too.

 

Their sweet moments were cut-off by Yujin's phone, its loud ring piercing their ears off and making the sweet silence they are in vanish.

 

Yujin exhales deeply and gently nudged Minjoo to pick up her phone from the center table they set aside.

 

"Mom?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"I'm still at home. Minjoo's here." Yujin gestured to Minjoo to talk.

 

"Good evening, eomma!" Minjoo shouted, enough for Yujin's mother to hear from the other end.

 

Minjoo watches the scene unfold before her and she takes this opportunity to admire Yujin and how she was a family-oriented woman. Yujin puts her family first and Minjoo just can't help but be in love with her even more. 

 

"Yeah, I'll be there by then."

 

"Yeah? Sure, I'll be careful."

 

"I love you. I'm gonna hang-up now."

 

Yujin finally ended the call and hugged Minjoo ever so tightly.

 

"I guess I'm not gonna see you until a long week, Joo." Yujin frowns and hugs her even more. They've been married for two years yet they long for each other's presence just the same, like two strong magnets. But at the end of the day, they always come back home to each other.

 

"It's okay, Yujin. You can always find your way home to me." Minjoo smiles and kisses her cheek gently.

 

Minjoo finally walks Yujin to the door, polishing Yujin's clothes and checking her for final checks to see if she missed something.

 

"You all good?" Minjoo asks while tip toeing and putting Yujin's favorite cap on her head.

 

"Wait, just one more." 

 

Yujin clashes their lips gently, but she lets it linger for quite a contenting time, until she breaks it off.

 

"I'll come home to you, soon. I love you, Minjoo." Yujin smiles and she waves, finally stepping out of the door, and Minjoo was now face to face with the door shut.

 

Minjoo sighs as she stared at the door even longer but she finally got a grip of herself.

 

Minjoo walks to their ruined fort, all blushing hard from remembering how it got destroyed. She touched her own lips, the feeling of Yujin's lips on hers and it finally hit her, how she misses it already. 

 

But she was feeling that something was not right.

 

Minjoo does her nightly mantra before sleeping, then she stares at the empty space beside her, where Yujin sleeps. It was already late yet Yujin wasn’t still informing her if she did arrive safely, so Minjoo just sat down and waited, observing the silence around her, not really the silence she was favoring because she felt all alone until she dozed off.

 

Waking up from her deep slumber, Minjoo felt her phone vibrate continuously signaling a call arriving.

 

"Hello?"

 

And the world crumbles down.

 

---------------

 

April 29, 2031. 09:01am.

 

Minjoo's eyes flutter open, the warm and pale sunlight seeping through the curtains to her cold skin as she groans at the morning alarm ringing ever so loudly through her ears. Minjoo stretches her arms as she feels an arm around the small of her waist and she wastes no time and hugs the woman beside her and her tears fall off her eyes.

 

Yujin stirs awake and she smiles, not aware of the tears being shed by her wife.

 

"Good morning to you too, Joo." Yujin hugged Minjoo back until she heard Minjoo sniffing. 

 

"Hey, what's wrong?" Yujin wipes Minjoo's tears away and kisses her eyelids, in an attempt to console Minjoo.

 

"N-Nothing. Just a bad dream." 

 

Minjoo lies.

 

She had too.

 

It wasn't really because of Yujin possibly not believing her but every moment from now on, should not be wasted. Minjoo wishes time would stop here, time would freeze right at this moment then she could live the rest of her life here.

 

"Minjoo, baby, I'm here. Don't worry." Yujin kisses her cheek in an attempt to console her wife but to no avail. Minjoo flashes a faint smile then kisses Yujin briefly on her soft lips and gazes at her.

 

Minjoo took her time to trace Yujin's features with her eyes. From her chestnut brown hair, to her frail eyes, then on the two front teeth peeking out of her plump lips. 

 

"Yujin, I love you. So much. You do know that right?" Minjoo asks but Yujin just chuckles.

 

"What are you being greasy for at this hour? Of course, and I love you. I love you. And I'll love you for the rest of my life." Yujin whispers softly while Minjoo closes her eyes, not letting her tears fall from her eyes once more. Yujin embraces her tightly for the last time then pulls Minjoo erect.

 

"Come, cook for me, wifey." Yujin pulls Minjoo and intertwines her hand like she always does. 

 

Minjoo suddenly remembers the sweet memory of Yujin holding her hand for the first time. The electric feeling it sent through Minjoo's system sparked the fast beating of her heart during that day. It was the day when she grew fond of holding Yujin's big hand with her small one.

 

Minjoo bites her lip, thinking about excusing herself to go to the restroom and weep. But today, time is too precious to waste. Even for a minute.

 

So, like she did during this day, Ahn Minjoo does cook breakfast for the both of them, enough to make them energized for this free day before Yujin leaves for Cheongju for a week to fix her papers that was left unaided since she left for Seoul, where she met Minjoo. 

 

I should have made her stay.

 

Nostalgia suddenly hits Minjoo as she turns on the stove, something she doesn't do anymore,

 

Long after.

 

So she makes their breakfast more delicious than it was, she prepares the plate more prettily than it was, then she feeds Yujin with more heart than she did.

 

"Ah. I just remembered. Mom expects me to be there for dinner, so I'll leave at night." 

 

Minjoo exhales sharply because of the frustration. No matter how she avoided talking about Yujin's departure, time has its own tactic of bringing it to its own inevitable abyss. Minjoo could only nod and she paid no attention, for time is priceless.

 

They do spend the whole day with each other's company, but this time, Minjoo does not build a rickety pillow fort with Yujin. Instead, she plugs in sappy movies and watches it in the comfort of their living room, still, in each other's arms.

 

Minjoo tightens her hold against Yujin's pair of strong arms as she savors the hiraeth she has been suffering from, the strong arms she wouldn't though she get to be enveloped in again.

 

Minjoo listens intently to Yujin's steady breaths, her chest heaving up and down, being one and gentle with the beat of the movie dialogues and as Minjoo listens more intensely, she hears the calm beat of Yujin's heart, which shattered Minjoo's own.

 

Minjoo's breath became shorter when she suddenly saw Yujin snap her gaze towards her, and much to Minjoo's weakness, she smiled.

 

"Baby, stop staring and watch the movie."

 

Minjoo does not pay mind to it. Instead, she presses her lips against Yujin's own fervently, feeling the soft ones and relearning the feeling once again. She kisses her, and Yujin does not protest.

 

Minjoo's knees felt weak, she suddenly felt so vulnerable and just as she did, tears flowed freely from her eyes, the bitter taste of her tears suddenly in between their meshed lips and Yujin was the first one to pull away. 

 

Minjoo cries, weeps. She buries her face against the tall one's broad shoulder as Yujin listens to her in silence.

 

"I'm sorry, Yujin. I'm sorry."

 

"Ahn Minjoo, whatever it is, do not say sorry."

 

Yujin lifts her face to match it with the height of hers. She wipes Minjoo's sad tears away and smiles at her ever so warmly.

 

"Minjoo, I love you, and that is all that matters."

 

They stayed silent for the rest of the movie's duration. Minjoo takes her time to listen to Yujin's heart beat against her chest, a calm beat going against her ears. Minjoo feels Yujin's chest heave from breathing. She recognizes the pattern easily, she memorizes the beat and carves it to her memory.

 

"I wish time would stop, Minjoo. Moments like this are priceless." Yujin tightens her hold on Minjoo and it takes her aback. The same words said to her again, it was all too familiar.

 

Minjoo hums, savoring the sweet scent of lemongrass and lavender Yujin possesses, like she did.

 

And alas, Yujin's phone rings, much to Minjoo's horror. It was the ring that Minjoo hated to hear the most, the ring that sent chills down Minjoo's spine and it wasn't as pleasant as the chills she feels whenever she kisses Yujin.

 

Minjoo watches in horror as Yujin entertains the other person on the line.

 

"I'm still at home. Minjoo's here." Yujin gestured to Minjoo to talk.

 

"Good evening, eomma." Minjoo shouted, but this time, it was as faint as the cold breeze outside.

 

This time, Minjoo wishes the call never came, because it finally means the time is ticking near its end. It was the sign that Minjoo should finally brace herself. Now, Minjoo silently prays for the call not to end now if it means Yujin leaving.

 

But she simply cannot change what happened anymore.

 

"I guess I'm not gonna see you until a long week, Joo." Yujin frowns as she hugs Minjoo even tighter like she used to. Minjoo takes this opportunity to embrace her like and bury her face against Yujin's chest, something she should have done when she had the chance. When all of this still exists.

 

"It's okay, Yujin. You can always find your way home to me." Minjoo mutters with her aquiver lips. It was something Minjoo won't forget telling her beloved wife and it was something still buried somewhere deep in her mind.

 

Minjoo finally walks Yujin to the door, but now she doesn't want her to let go. Instead of doing so, she pulls Yujin closer to her and kisses her cheek ever so softly, letting her lips linger a little bit longer.

 

"I love you." She hears Yujin whisper to her ear. And Minjoo's tears suddenly twinkled on her eyes but she gathered every ounce of her strength to hold her tears.

 

"I'll come home to you, soon. I love you, Minjoo." Yujin smiles and she waves, finally stepping out of the door, and Minjoo, yet again, was now face to face with the door shut.

 

She kneels in front of the door and she wails, holding her heart that was currently shattering and regretting everything she didn't do during that fateful day.

 

But she cannot change the past anymore.

 

Then everything goes black.

 

---------------

 

April 29, 2031. 09:01am.

 

Minjoo's eyes flutter open once again, and like it did, the warm and pale sunlight seeping through the curtains to her cold skin as she groans at the morning alarm ringing ever so loudly through her ears. Minjoo immediately embraces the person beside her and this time,

 

Minjoo was more composed. Minjoo was more ready to face this day, yet again. 

 

Yujin stirs awake as she grabs a hold of Minjoo's hand and holds it against her own. Minjoo felt her heart warm up at the sight of Yujin, savoring this moment again with her.

 

If it means waking up again beside her, I'll do everything. 

 

"Good morning, Minjoo." Yujin smiles as she sees her wife already doe-eyed awake unlike her, eyes still adjusting to the sunlight. 

 

Minjoo takes this time to adjust their position and she lies on Yujin's supine chest, the hiraeth she wants to keep on coming back to. 

 

"Good morning, Yujin-ah." Minjoo smiles warmly.

 

"Wow, we've been married for 2 years already and I'm still this crazy for you. Damn it." Yujin jokes then she closed the distance between them, capturing Minjoo's lips in a sweet but short time. 

 

Minjoo suddenly missed these kinds of jokes from the latter. Even though it wasn't even funny to begin with, Minjoo still laughs genuinely, like Yujin has a direct line to Minjoo's funny bone. Yujin knew Minjoo all too well, her humor matching Minjoo's, in an impeccable way.

 

"Did you have a good sleep?" Yujin asked and it was answered with a gentle nod.

 

"I dreamt of you." Minjoo answered quite simply.

 

For sure, Yujin takes this very lightly judging by the smile she was suddenly wearing but to Minjoo, this dream of hers means something more deeply. This dream of hers was so much more than a fantasy, a dream of an existing epoch she does not want to wake up from anymore. 

 

A dream of Yujin's heart beating like it never stopped.

 

"For real? Do you always dream of me?" Yujin says with a low tone, the blush on her cheek more evident and radiant than before and Minjoo nodded then she leaned against Yujin's ear.

 

"I dream of you every now and then, Yujin-ah." Minjoo feels Yujin melt beneath her while she traces her collarbone, a view she would like to carve on her own heart. 

 

Minjoo just chuckles and this time, pulls Yujin to get up from bed and she pulls her along the corridor of their own home. Yujin just follows her, a light blush still not leaving her cheeks as they arrive at their kitchen but before Minjoo could reach for the pantry, Yujin raced her to it and smiled at Minjoo.

 

"Let me cook. Just sit, I'll do the rest." Yujin smiled and kissed her cheek once more before proceeding to get some eggs from the fridge.

 

Minjoo follows just as Yujin wishes, she knows that she should follow it. To be given a chance to relive this life is something she shouldn't wish so she follows everything, if that will make Yujin happy.

 

She watched Yujin move smoothly in the kitchen as she cooked a simple breakfast. Minjoo admits, Yujin was indeed the better cook between the two of them and they both know it and suddenly, it dawned on Minjoo.

 

It dawned on her that she always cooks for the both of them. Minjoo realizes that Yujin always asks her to do so when she's better than her. But why? how come? Minjoo could only fathom.

 

Yujin finishes cooking quickly, and to Minjoo's relief, it was another added time for her to savor this day. They both eat breakfast with Yujin teasing her from time to time, a habit that the latter can't get rid of and Minjoo misses it so she does everything she can to keep Yujin's heart happy.

 

"Minjoo, remember the thing we talked about yesterday? I just remembered, mom expects me to arrive there for dinner." Yujin brings-up after their laugh dies down for a moment and Minjoo's mood went from high as a mountain to down as the seafloor.

 

The curve of Minjoo's eyes slowly disappear as she nods faintly, little does Yujin notice. No matter how much Minjoo tries to enjoy reliving this very same day, she can't remove the fact that she cannot change what will happen anymore. She can't change anything, she could only relive it. 

 

They do spend the whole day again, but this time Minjoo asks Yujin to join her for a bath. Of course, Yujin did not forget to wife first before agreeing to suc