But maybe it can be

Lifespan of a Fly

Things went back to normal, or at least they almost did. Jinyoung fell back into his rhythm of going from library to bookstore to warehouse, removing and burning pages as he went. He had a particularly successful raid at a book distributor, where he intercepted and destroyed a shipment of books with a whole chapter on the creation story. He was again working efficiently and making a dent in his goal, devoting himself to the only thing that truly mattered to him.

 

Still, he hadn’t yet fully shaken Mark after a few weeks of being gone. He thought of him while he worked, wondering what he might be doing with his life in his absence. Had he given up and started sleeping with Jackson? Had he met another guy? Was he still holding out hope that Jinyoung would be back soon? How long would it take him to stop?

 

In the evening, when everything was closed and Jinyoung retreated back to whichever motel he was staying in, he often caught himself opening up Mark’s contact screen on his cell phone just to look at his name, then immediately chucking it across the room in frustration with himself. He had to stop listening to the Eagles entirely—the Beatles were still fair game since Mark hadn’t managed to ruin “Hey Jude” for him—and when he bought volumes of poetry from the bookstore, he deliberately avoided W.H. Auden.

 

It was all so unlike him, and just proved to him even more that he’d made a grievous mistake in letting Mark continue to contact him after the flight to Korea. He shouldn’t have even spoken to him on the airport bus. He should have just been rude and ignored him, or pretended like he was deaf or couldn’t understand English. There was a reason he didn’t involve himself with humans. And he was never going to do it again, he decided. He’d give himself the time he needed to recover from his mistake, learn from it, and then never repeat it.

 

Usually, when he burned the pages, he didn’t reread the story in them before he did. He knew it well, better than he knew anything, and the human retellings of it always riled him with the details it got wrong. The ending in the human version was practically nonexistent. Mireuk usually disappeared, a fair loser with the wherewithal to bow out when things turned against him, and there was rarely any mention of the fate of Seokga. It was just assumed that he remained in place to lord over the show he’d fought so hard to become ruler of. No one really knew or cared what had become of him.

 

But now Jinyoung started reading the texts before burning them. It was good to remind himself of who he was. He couldn’t let himself forget the tricks he had played, the havoc he’d wrought, the unjustness he’d brought upon the world. He was a fallen god, scorned by heaven, trapped in an unjust world, a prison of his own making. And any human born into this prison with him would die while not a single mark of time touched or withered Jinyoung. Mark as well. So it was, and so it is.

 

“There is no place for me in this world,” Jinyoung reminded himself, flicking on his lighter. “No place for me in anyone’s heart. Or for anyone in mine.”

 

Another version of his story went up in flames and crumbled to ash. But he kept it in his heart, a whip to lash out against any intruding thoughts and strike them back.

 


 

Jinyoung’s phone went off in the middle of the library.

 

His heart slammed, and he immediately fumbled for it in his pocket. There was an older woman nearby, and she swelled up like a pufferfish and stormed up to him. “You are exactly what’s wrong with the world,” she hissed. “Do you see yourself? Is it so hard for people like you to respect others? Do you think your personal life trumps everyone else’s right to this public space that is supposed to be quiet and-”

 

Mark’s name was on the screen. Jinyoung’s hands felt sweaty. He moved his thumb to swipe and take the call, but the woman snatched the phone out of his hands. “You are going to listen to me, young man!” she screeched. “I am sick to death of hearing the shallow conversations of your vapid generation whenever I’m out in public. I refuse to hear it anymore! I weep for your parents to have such an inconsiderate son.”

 

“I’m sorry ma’am,” Jinyoung said desperately. “It’s an emergency.”

 

“Oh, what, is making an overpriced coffee date with some girl who will spend the whole time filming it for Instagram an emergency now?” the woman persisted. “Is calling some random Kim Minsoo about a soccer game an emergency?”

 

Jinyoung snatched the phone out of her hand, but it had stopped ringing. “How dare you!” the woman yelled. “You—did you just assault me?”

 

“No, I took my phone back.” He pulled some won notes out of his pocket and threw them at her. “There’s my fine for my disrespect. But this is an emergency.

 

He his heel and hurried into the nearby stairwell. He ran down the first two flights to the ground floor in case the woman was following him. When he confirmed she wasn’t, Jinyoung pressed his back against the wall and pressed the button to call Mark.

 

Mark answered on the first ring. “Jinyoung?” his voice was feeble.

 

“What is it?”

 

“When you didn’t answer, I thought-”

 

“I was in a library.”

 

“I thought you might be gone forever.” His voice had the uneven quality of someone who was crying.

 

“I’m not,” Jinyoung said. “What happened?”

 

“My grandma,” Mark said, his voice cracking. “She died unexpectedly. I won’t be able to go back for the funeral. There’s not enough time, and there’s a mandatory exam-” He stopped for a moment, releasing a choked noise. “I didn’t get to say goodbye to her. I never called her after I came here. And I won’t get to say goodbye one last time either. I’m…” He hiccupped. “Where are you, Jinyoung?”

 

“Haesang, in Goseong.”

 

“How far is that?”

 

Jinyoung checked on his GPS. “Only 45 minutes.”

 

“Can I come there? I want…I want to be with you.”

 

Jinyoung exhaled. “No. I’ll come to see you. What part of Sokcho are you in?”

 

“Near Jungang. I can text you the address.” He took a shuddering breath.

 

“Are you alone right now? Is your host family with you?”

 

“They’re here.”

 

“Good. You should call your other friends if you need to. Don’t be alone.”

 

“Thank you.” Another breath. “I’m sorry.”

 

“You don’t have to be. And I’m sorry for the loss you’ve suffered.” He thought all the way back to the first death he’d witnessed, the woman dying in her husband’s arms, and shivered. “I’ll be there soon.”

 

The route to Sokcho was actually faster than the one he would have taken back at his base in Inje. He ordered his ticket and got onboard, taking a few breaths to steady himself. He was doing the right thing. Even though he’d sworn to stay away from Mark, it would be wrong to in this case. Death did things to people. It could sink them into despair, especially if they coped with it alone. It was one of the few things in life where even Jinyoung didn’t feel keeping solitary and closed off was the beneficial response. If Mark needed someone, he would go this once. And if he needed to once again extricate himself once Mark had recovered, he’d cross that bridge when he got there.

 

He got off the train in Sokcho. It smelled like fish and the sea, and the air was lively with the chatter of people headed towards the market. Jinyoung skirted around it, finding the side street which led to Mark’s address. His host family lived in a small apartment with a clear view of the waterside. It was especially beautiful today, with a bright blue sky and thick, fluffy clouds.

 

Jinyoung knocked on the door, and a moment later, a middle aged woman with an old-fashioned but charming bouffant opened it. “You must be Mark’s friend,” she said in a warm voice. “I’m so glad you came. He’s not doing well, and it’s been hard for him to talk about it in Korean. I think it would be easier if he could speak in English like he’s used to.”

 

“I’m sure it will,” Jinyoung said. “Where can I find him?”

 

“Down the hall, second room on the left.”

 

Jinyoung found the room and opened the door. Mark was sitting on the bed, his back rigid, his eyes bloodshot and still damp. His expression seemed to collapse a little when he saw Jinyoung—part of it looked like relief.

 

“Can you sit, please?” Mark asked, patting the spot on the bed in front of him. “With…with your back turned?”

 

Jinyoung did so without asking questions. Mark leaned in, pressing his cheek against Jinyoung’s back, surrendering all of his body weight onto him. In just a few seconds, Jinyoung could feel dampness seeping into the back of his shirt. Mark was crying very quietly, only the vibrations of his cheek on Jinyoung’s back indicating how hard the tears were falling. After a moment, he wrapped his arms around Jinyoung’s waist and squeezed him.

 

“Mark,” Jinyoung said softly. “I’m not sure there’s anything I can say that will really comfort you about death. But if there’s anything you want to say…I’ll listen to you. None of my usual judgements. You can just say everything you need to.”

 

Mark was too overcome to say anything for a moment. “I never even thought of it,” he said when he was able. “That if I left, the people who stayed might not even be there when I got back. I didn’t prepare for it. And now she’s gone.”

 

Jinyoung placed his hand over Mark’s, hoping that might help in some way.

 

“She was just…so much to me. I have so many memories of her from when I was growing up, and just knowing I’ll never be able to talk to her again…never again, for the rest of my life…it’s just…how is it fair, that people have to go out of our lives like this?”

 

Jinyoung wove their fingers together. “It isn’t fair,” he said. “This world is filled with unjust things.”

 

Mark’s hands trembled a little, but clutched to him tighter. “Why, though?”

 

“Because the gods are unjust,” he said simply. “And we live in the world they influenced.” And all of it, every little unjust bit of it, traces back to me. The person you’re railing against in your heart for this is the same person that you’re holding in your arms.

 

They both went silent for a moment. “Jinyoung?” Mark asked at length.

 

“Yes?”

 

“I hate this. I hate losing people. I don’t want to never see someone again like this without getting to say goodbye.” He pressed his face hard against Jinyoung’s back. “I know you want to be lost. You want me to forget about you. And I will if I have to. But I’m asking you not to make me. Please. I want you to stay with me.”

 

The words were so vulnerable and gentle that Jinyoung knew he couldn’t plow right over them with a thoughtless answer. He needed to choose whether he was going to string Mark along again with the promise of maybe, or if he was going to capitulate and agree to see him again, even though he knew it would come to no good.

 

He knew the correct answer. There was an automatic shelf life to them knowing each other. Not the sixty-five or so more years Mark would likely live, if no accident befell him. But the fifteen or so more years that it would become glaringly obvious that Jinyoung wasn’t aging. As a general rule, Jinyoung got a new life every time he ‘turned 40,’ relying on his Asian genes as an excuse to explain away the continued youthfulness of his 30s. This was easy enough in America—when East Coast Jinyoung turned 40, he became someone else in Middle America, and when Middle America Jinyoung turned 40, he became someone new on the West Coast. Korea didn’t provide the same luxury. He’d have to move along. Which meant whatever happened, he’d be saying goodbye to Mark at some point regardless. Wouldn’t it be better to do so now?

 

But when he turned his head, Mark was looking at him pleadingly. I want you to stay with me. Jinyoung could practically feel the force with which he felt that. It was stronger than anything Jinyoung had felt in his life, so strong that it felt as if it was moving even the unshakable resolve within him.

 

“Mark,” Jinyoung said carefully. “Whether it happens this year or ten years from now, one day I’m going to go on a trip. And I’m not going to come back. I can’t explain where or why. Just trust that it’s something I feel I need to do as surely as you felt like you needed to come here.”

 

“And I can’t come with you?”

 

Jinyoung shook his head. “You have your own dreams, don’t you? You’ll be doing your relief aid work. That’s needed far more than what I’ll be doing.”

 

Mark chewed his lip. “Will you at least tell me before you decide to leave for good?”

 

Jinyoung sighed. “You’ll try to talk me out of it, won’t you?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I can already tell you that it won’t work.”

 

“I deserve the chance to plead my case.”

 

“Well. Hopefully by time that happens, you’ll be glad to be rid of me and it won’t even matter. But fine. When I decide to leave for good, I’ll tell you. As for the trip I was on…” He cleared his throat. “I’ll come back to the area every weekend. It has nothing to do with you, though. I’m spending a lot on that house, and I’d hate not to use it. Plus all my books are there.”

 

Mark made a low noise, which to Jinyoung’s relief finally sounded more like something exhalting than something miserable. “I’ll come,” Mark said. “Every weekend. I’ll spend the nights Friday and Saturday.”

 

“Did I miss the part where I invited you?”

 

“You knew what the end result would be when you told me. That was the invitation.” He loosened his grip on Jinyoung a little. “I’m not giving up on you, you know that? Even if you say you’re going to go. You’ll fall in love with me before you do. And then you won’t want to leave.”

 

“It’s not that simple.”

 

“But maybe it can be.”

 

“But maybe it can’t.” Jinyoung shifted his body so he was facing Mark. “Are you going to be OK?”

 

“I don’t know. I guess. Are you going already?”

 

“I’ll stay a little longer, if it doesn’t trouble your host family. But I never checked out of the inn where I was, and my things are still there. I have to go back to Goseong tonight.”

 

Mark nodded. “Can you come back tomorrow? BamBam said he’d rent some space for us to have a wake of our own here and Korea. Since I can’t go to the services back home.”

 

“I will. Just let me know when.”

 

“Thank you.” Mark suddenly reached out to his hand along Jinyoung’s cheek, then, with a spontaneity Jinyoung hadn’t seen coming, leaned in to briefly peck him on the lips. It was fleeting, almost too quick for Jinyoung to truly process it. “Thank you,” Mark said again when he pulled away. His eyes filled up with a new layer of tears. “Thank you.”

 

“You’re in love with me, aren’t you?” Jinyoung asked before he could filter himself. He didn’t see how he could continue to convince himself that Mark was just doing this to win him over only for the pleasure of rejecting him.

 

“Yes,” Mark said. “I knew was going to fall in love with you. But I couldn’t when you acted like you didn’t have a heart and nothing in the world could touch you.” He rested his hand on top of Jinyoung’s. “But I can now.”

 

In all the millions of years Jinyoung had been alive, no one had ever fallen in love with him. He’d never gotten close enough to anyone to risk it, and anyways, who would ever love someone so empty as him? But he saw in Mark’s eyes that he meant it. And while part of his heart softened and wanted to be worthier of that sincerely meant love, a bigger part was terrified by it.

 

“You shouldn’t,” Jinyoung said in a whisper.

 

“Maybe not, but that’s not going to stop me.”

 

“You don’t understand. You believe in soulmates, don’t you? I’m not your soulmate.”

 

“How would you know that?”

 

“Because…I’m not supposed to be here.” He flushed, knowing how strange that sounded. How could he say that his existence didn’t belong in the human world, and that someone with an endless lifespan couldn’t possibly be meant as the soul’s other half of someone who would live for a mere speck of time in comparison? “I mean…I’m not…”

 

Time will say nothing but I told you so. If I could tell you I would let you know. You can’t tell me. Because you don’t know. Neither of us do. Time will tell us the answer when it’s ready.”

 

“Parroting my words back to me?”

 

“I believe those words were Auden’s.” Mark rubbed under his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. “I think I’m OK now, Jinyoung. I’m OK if you want to go back and get your things.”

 

“And now you’re in a hurry to get rid of me?”

 

“No. The sooner you leave, the sooner you can come back.” He wrapped his fingers around Jinyoung's wrist. “Remember. This time you’re going to stay.”

 


 

Jinyoung had to buy a suit when he arrived back in Inje. A few of his old clothes had remained in the house, but those were hanbok, and would probably look out of place at a wake with college-aged students whose clothes were probably 80% athleisure. He went to a department store and bought something black and somber, then took the train to Sokcho to find the place Mark had said they’d be meeting.

 

It wound up being the gathering center of a local church. Jinyoung wondered if it was used to host support groups, since all the chairs in the room were arranged in a close circle. Mark was seated and holding an unlit white candle with a circular drip protector at its middle. Seated around him were three young men—one a short brunette with an athletic build, another thin and lanky with a shock of dyed orange hair, and the other a tall dirty blonde with a baby face. 

 

“This must be him, right?” the short one said when Jinyoung walked in. Mark looked up, eyes brightening somewhat. “Jinyoung,” he said. He patted the seat next to him.

 

“Wow, no wonder I got rejected in favor of this guy,” the short guy said, looking at Jinyoung appreciatively. “I’d reject me, too. I’m Jackson. Nice to meet you.” He handed Jinyoung a candle and a little memorial card with a small picture of Mark’s grandmother and the dates of her birth and death.

 

“Can we not talk about that at a memorial service?” the tall guy wanted to know.

 

“Mark said he didn’t want this to be depressing, Yugyeom. Just lightening the mood.”

 

“Still, respect and all that,” the orange haired guy, who must have been Mark’s remaining friend BamBam, said. “One does not talk about private love life details in association with grandma. It just isn’t done.”

 

“There’s nothing to talk about, anyways,” Mark said. “But Grandma was super feisty. She always talked about the guys that were after her before she met my grandpa. She would love a bit of juicy gossip. It was one of the coolest things about her. She was always talking about the other people at her senior center.”

 

“I love good senior citizen drama,” Jackson said. “She sounds like she was an amazing lady.”

 

“Yes, she was. She really was.”

 

“Shall we pray for her, then?”

 

Yugyeom pulled out some matches and lit Mark’s candle. Mark then leaned his candle into Jinyoung’s to light it, then BamBam’s, then Jackson’s, then Yugyeom’s.

 

“Grandma,” Mark said quietly, “thank you for being a part of my life. I treasure every memory we shared together, and though I wish we had been able to have time for more, I’ll carry you in my heart so you’ll be with me during all the new memories I make on my own. I hope in everything I do, I continue to make you proud. I hope you find peace and rest where you are. I hope you can hear this goodbye, and forgive me for not being there to say it with the rest of the family when you passed.” He bowed his head.

 

“Rest peacefully, Grandma,” Jackson said.

 

“Rest peacefully,” Yugyeom and BamBam echoed.

 

“If the rest of you want to say something to a loved one of your own, please feel free,” Mark said. “While we have the candles out.”

 

“Let’s go around the circle,” BamBam said. “I’ll start.” He spoke in Thai, so Jinyoung understood none of what he said, but he supposed it didn’t matter, and the one who was meant to hear it would understand. Jackson also spoke in Chinese Jinyoung couldn’t follow, and Yugyeom said a few brief words for a grandparent he’d lost when he was younger, apologizing for not being able to remember them clearly anymore.

 

All eyes turned to Jinyoung. He cleared his throat awkwardly. Should he say he hadn’t had any loved ones pass away? It was true in a way, having never actually had anyone he considered a loved one.

 

But he thought instead of the first death he’d born witness to, the woman and her stillborn baby. “You had so short a time,” Jinyoung found himself saying to the memory of the woman. “All I could think of was that you seemed to have been born only to die, so fleeting was the span of your life. And it made me turn my back on growing too attached to anyone who could be lost as easily as that. But…” He swallowed, thinking of the grieving husband’s wails of sorrow as he held his wife. “Some people can live years upon years and never know the extent of love you were blessed with in your short life. I wonder sometimes, if I learned the wrong thing from your death.”

 

The circle fell silent. They remained there saying nothing for a long while, until their candles started dripping wax onto the protector. Mark blew his out first, and everyone else followed.

 

“We should drink,” Mark announced.

 

“Amen to that!” BamBam said. “I brought a cooler. Hope ya’ll like beer!”

 

He pulled the cooler out from under his chair. They all dug in and grabbed their beers of choice, popping them open and drinking deeply.

 

“I really like what you said,” Jackson said to Jinyoung after he’d taken a deep swig. “About the takeaway when someone dies young. I lost a classmate when I was really little, and I remember thinking back then, what’s even the point of living just a handful of years? What does it any of it even amount to? But isn’t it just the worst, thinking that? Of course it amounted to something. It amounted to love. And what’s more important than that?”

 

“Still, it’s one of my nightmares,” Yugyeom said. “Like, what if I die right after I graduate college, and all that schooling was for nothing?”

 

“Would you prefer to die being illiterate and knowing nothing about anything?” BamBam asked.

 

Yugyeom looked momentarily stumped. “But…homework, you know? What a waste of time.”

 

“Doing things you don’t want to do is life itself, man.”

 

“Lame.”

 

“Who ever said life wasn’t?” BamBam released a little burp, and Jackson whacked him on the arm. “I just don’t want to die before I find love, you know?  That would be the worst.”

 

“For sure,” Jackson said. Yugyeom also nodded.

 

“I think it’s just as sad to die after having found love,” Mark said. “Because you’ll be leaving that person alone.”

 

“If it’s a comfort, I feel like most widows and widowers get back on the dating scene these days. It’s really hard to leave someone well and truly on their own.”

 

“Not everyone is capable of giving their heart more than once.” Mark crossed his ankles. “I can’t think of any time, if I had someone I loved, that I’d be at peace to die.”

 

“It’s better than living forever,” Jinyoung said with some vehemence. Everyone turned to look at him.

 

“Well, that’s not even an option, so,” Jackson said.

 

“But most people wish it was. And it’s a stupid thing to wish for. Things lose their meaning, if you have too much of them. Time most of all.”

 

“Then I’d want to be in one of those couples where they die one right after the other,” Mark said decisively. “So wherever we go, we go together.”

 

“That seems like it would be very hard to arrange,” BamBam said. “Without one person deliberately offing themselves, and let me tell you Mark, I’d kill you if you tried to do that.”

 

“Which would end with the same result…”

 

“Oh…yeah. True.”

 

“Why are we being so morbid?” Yugyeom asked.

 

“Cuz we’re at a memorial service, duh,” Jackson said. “And it’s good to talk about death, you know? People avoid it too hard, as if ignoring it makes it go away. Even though it’s pretty much the one certainty in life.”

 

For everyone who isn’t me, Jinyoung thought.

 

“Now that we’ve established how short life is,” BamBam said suddenly, “Mark, Jinyoung, you two should really stop playing around and just get together already.”

 

Before Jinyoung could say anything, Mark shook his head. “ out. We’ve already had a talk, and I don’t want Jinyoung rethinking our terms.”

 

“Terms? Is it a relationship or a transaction?”

 

“No, seriously, out.”

 

“I’m just trying to be your wingman. I feel like I was born to be one.”

 

“Then worry about the other two.”

 

“Love is a very complicated thing, Bammie,” Jackson said sagely. “It isn’t always as easy as the ‘do you like me, yes or no?’ these days.”

 

“Didn’t you hit on Mark with a text message that said ‘Wanna smash? Yes or no?’” Yugyeom asked.

 

“I’ve matured since then. You should try it some time.”

 

The four friends started bickering. Jinyoung sat back and watched. He remembered how these sorts of exchanges had always annoyed him as he made his way through the world and had to put up with the fact other people shared it with him. If people can’t have accord, even with their own friends, then why do they insist on talking with one another?, Jinyoung had always thought. It was stupid, he knew—the world couldn’t exist without communication, even he understood that. It was just his way of justifying not reaching out to anyone himself, since he couldn’t imagine there being harmony between him and anyone else, based on the natural differences.

 

But there was so much love, even in these petty little disagreements, he saw. The four roasted each other with every other breath, but they had shown solidarity for one of their own, buying him candles and holding a little service for a woman they hadn’t known to help Mark grieve. They were willing to be his wingmen, his cheerleaders, his support system, even if they didn’t receive something tangible back for it.

 

It unnerved Jinyoung, how clear this was to him all of a sudden. He’d lived for millennia, and yet never until now understood the connection between friends like these. He’d even looked down on people like these before, judging their constant need to attach themselves to others and value themselves based on who liked them and how much.

 

He didn’t need his worldview changing on him now. He’d gotten through the ages just fine before, and something disrupting that might destroy his whole mission. And love may be of central importance to humans, but Jinyoung was different. There was still something that mattered far more.

 

They stayed another hour in the center, drinking and singing old hymns when Yugyeom found a piano hidden under a sheet in the back of the room. Mark told some more stories about his grandmother, too, and cried and laughed as he told them. He really was going to be OK, Jinyoung thought. He was strong in a way Jinyoung couldn’t help but admire—strong enough to be fragile.

 

Eventually, they had to vacate the venue for a church leader meeting. Jackson and BamBam left to walk back to the college dormitories, and Yugyeom had to bike off to a part-time job.

 

“I’ll walk you to the train station,” Mark said to Jinyoung. Jinyoung nodded.

 

“Thank you for coming,” Mark said as they walked. “It meant a lot, that you were there.”

 

“If it helped, I’m glad I could be there.”

 

“It did help.” He paused. “You don’t have to answer. But I was wondering which lost loved one you spoke to during the candlelight prayer.”

 

“It was someone I knew a long time ago.”

 

“I got that feeling. Something about how you spoke made me think that it might have happened to you in another lifetime.” He looked at Jinyoung quickly. “You don’t need to explain. Just…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I know I may have sounded like I was joking, before, when I asked if you were a vampire or a time traveler. But I wasn’t, not all the way. If you told me you were either, I’d probably believe it. There’s something about you.”

 

Jinyoung wasn’t sure what to say, so he said nothing.

 

“I realize you have no plans to tell me, whatever it is,” Mark continued. “But I just want you to know…if you do tell me one day, I won’t grab a pitchfork or start a bonfire. I’ll believe you. I’ve always believed that there are things in this world beyond the scope of what we think we know.” He laughed nervously. “Of course, if there is nothing unusual about you, I probably sound like a tinfoil lunatic right now. Wait…could you be an alien?”

 

“Depends on what your definition of an alien is,” Jinyoung said gravely.

 

“I’ll have to reflect on that and get back to you.” They stopped in front of the station entrance. “I’ll come over Friday night,” Mark reminded him. “And don’t buy another mattress. I’m fine sharing yours.”

 

“At least bring some food or something, so you’re not a complete mooch.”

 

“I will.” He touched Jinyoung’s hand. “Fallen in love with me, yet?”

 

“No,” Jinyoung said. “But I am sorry. For your loss.”

 

“You might not understand why, but that’s a very, very promising sign.” He kissed Jinyoung’s cheek. “Goodnight. See you for the weekend. I have a feeling you’ll be falling for me soon, so I hope you realize it when you do.”

 

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moonchildern #1
Chapter 14: i finally finished reading it omg i finally made it ㅠㅠ
you can see my last comment right? and it was on march 28 and here i am after almost 3 months, resumed reading this book coz i don’t think i can finish it in one go. i am not that strong 🤧

remember when samsin says “joy will walk with you for much longer than suffering”
and i totally agree with her. even tho jinyoung’s journey hurts like hell but i think he got his happily ever after. THAT ending was the real kind of happy ending and im so so so happy for both jinyoung and mark. they en deserve it omg i think im gonna cry again when the images of them and their struggles came flashing into my head 😭 but they’re happy now REAL happy and this is the tears of joy lmao

i don’t know what else to say. this book is amazing. like your other books. i love it. a lot. how can you always be amazing like this?? i can learn new things and perspectives from this and that was honestly one of my fav things when i read your books. i can always got something new (aside from getting our markjin being so cute sweet hot fluffy and amazing :3). ahhh i really wanna hug you rn but i can’t so im sending my ghost hug. you can’t feel it but it’s there~ thank you so so so much for this one, too! you’re the best best best sonicboom-nim! i can’t wait to read more of your work!! be happy and healthy sonicboom-nim love love ❤️
moonchildern #2
Chapter 5: omg it hurts. this is just the beginning right?? but it’s already hurt so much my soft heart cant handle the pain oh damn it. i already told myself that i have to prepare first before clicking this story and reading it, but i guess i’ll never be ready so why not now? i just hope i dont cry too much reading this fic ㅠㅠ
OnlyForNyeong
#3
Chapter 14: So beautiful! I can't remember how many I cried. Thank you for wrting this wonderful love story.
Marklife #4
Chapter 14: Thought I wouldn’t be crying again reread this but no it’s still feels the same T...T thank you authornim you may not know but through this I have learned to not give up when something is hard and difficult to deal. Thank you again
Potatoness
#5
Chapter 14: This is so beautiful.. I always look forward to your works and read them as you update but not this one because as I reasoned with a friend I need the courage to continue reading every chapter. It's just somewhat painful to read their journey and see Mark age and how they can't settle in a place and stay with their friends and family then later Jinyoung is way younger than Mark. This is the most painful goodbye I have ever read even though I know they had a lifetime together. And I cried a river I dont even want to see my reflection!! I have read tons of stuff and this work of yours is one of my favorites, I cant believe this is fanfiction! This should be a book!!! (but i love the mark and jinyoung and got7 characters though) The issues you have inserted and how the characters went through it and handled it felt like I'm learning too not to mention you have touched sensitive topics as well. I'm rambling but I just want to say youre very much talented and thank you for creating this quality content to the markjin community and to got7!! <3
Farah_7771 #6
Chapter 14: I finished reading it just now ? again i cried a LOT
I don’t know what to say again but all i know that you are much more than talented its like the way i felt every word every sentence is just hitting hard the emotions i felt since chapter 1 until the last one , you are amazing as always and thank you again and again for sharing what you write to us ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Farah_7771 #7
Chapter 13: Ive been crying for 40 minutes ......i cant even describe what i feel all i know that u are talented really thank you for spending time to write ❤️
JinyoungsMark #8
Chapter 14: Seriously this story really make me soo thrill ,love and sad at the same time..although i'm just in my 20s but i can imagine growing older with my love ones and being with them until we die..i really cried when the part mark's going to go..jinyoung's feeling in this part can make me feel empathy towards him.thank u as always for ur beautiful fic !! <3


And

I really wish u well!! I'm looking forward for ur new fic...... and I know someday you gonna stop writing ..but i just wanna let u know.i will always remember and adore ur stories and for the love of markjin! (Because theres soo many amazing writers that have stop writing) i really hope u always be inspired and always well and happy.Thank u again!!! <3
Oohmaknae_ #9
Chapter 14: You know if only i could pay you to publish your stories especially this one, im definitely doing so, only if i could and im so gonna display it in my special bookshelves where i can read it all over again. You really put the spices of life in your stories. This 'lifespan of a fly' hits me hard because i recently move in a completely different country (i used to lived in the Philippines in my 19 years of existence) . This story reminds me how people u know will just passed by in your life, ofcourse the important ones would stay but we're all going to be gone, but even so, life will still move on, it will move forward without u or without anyone and we have no choice but to live with it and keep the memories of all the people who are dear to us. Just like what u stated in the end "and so it was. And so it is" i still have a lot to say but i think i said too much already. Another big thanks author-nim for this another worth reading story of yours!
Cho_lolai101 #10
Chapter 14: “And so it was. And so it is.”
Famous last words and a most beautiful ending to such an ever-enduring , heartwarming love story with my favourite couple, MJ.
I have no words to further describe the feelings you have instilled in me as I read and re-read this masterpiece of yours, among others. How I’ve travelled with them, all the joys and sadness ... the tears I shred Most specially in this epilogue ... it’s beyond brilliant how you so eloquently create and piece them altogether. And the finality of Lord Seokga coming home to the love of his lifetime is one I will treasure. Thank you for yet another amazing ff, Author-nim.