11/18/2021

 

 

Minjoo took a lungful of air, feeling her shoulders relax as the wind gushes and hit her exposed skin, shivering a bit because of coldness— well, winter is approaching very quick.

 

 

She slowly fluttered her eyes open, staring the view of the night time Seoul below her. Lights from the vehicles moving around the road, lamp posts, buildings and stalls, it overwhelms her. She can feel her eyes blurring at the colorful lights, so she looked up instead, turning around and leaned on the railing, fully giving in her weight, humming softly as she watched the stars twinkles and moon shine— somehow, it made her calm.

 

 

The sight of the starry night sky and moon always calms her because the moon reminds her of someone, someone special that held a huge part of her life.

 

 

Minjoo stopped humming, letting out a sigh and scratched her head, trying to shake off the thoughts. She’s here to think about the recent events, not reminisce painful memories. She needed fresh air, she felt so suffocated standing infront of those crowd, infront of those strangers and fortunately, there’s a rooftop of this venue— kudos for Chaewon’s family for renting this hotel, she can freely take a deep breath and enjoy an hour of being alone.

 

 

It’s quiet, only the gushing of wind and some horns below can be heard from the rooftop but it’s peaceful enough for Minjoo, it calms her nerves. The thing she can’t stand is the murmur and fake compliments from the visitors at the hall.

 

 

Slowly, she padded towards the bench and sat there, letting herself be comfortable and sprawled there like she’s at her own home, taking out something from her coat’s pocket. She placed a stick between her lips and gently flicked the lighter on, lifting the fire towards the end of the stick and instantly, it lit up and produces some smoke.

 

 

The brunette pocketed her silver lighter and puffed out a smoke, taking the cigarette away from her lips for a mean time. The smell of cigarettes and ashes started to fill up her smelling senses, sending her into a deep satisfaction.

 

 

Bit of ashes fell from the stick, gently landing on the concrete floor of the rooftop, leaving small black marks. Minjoo watched the visible white smoke slowly disappear into thin air a few seconds after she huffed it out from . Her gaze then went back to the shining moon, she can feel the corner of her lips tugging upwards unconsciously, smiling lightly before bringing the cigarette stick on her lips again, the stick of tobacco gently until smoke fills up and lungs before huffing it out again.

 

 

 

“Enjoying being alone?”

 

 

Minjoo slowly craned her neck sideward, spotting a familiar figure sitting beside her, staring at her with sparkling eyes and a bright grin that the brunette just wanted to close her eyes because of too much brightness.

 

 

She didn’t hear any footsteps coming towards her direction nor the sound of the rooftop door being opened, but it’s quite normal. Her friend right here is special.

 

 

 

Curving up a tired smile, Minjoo greeted the person she’s been missing ever since. “Hi there,” She said weakly. “It’s been a while, Yujin-ah.” The way her tongue rolled when she said her name, it’s giving her heart some shocks.

 

 

Yujin scrunched her face up, leaning her back to the backrest of the bench then gave her a sweet smile again but now, her dimples are cutely poking out. “Hmm, it’s indeed been a while.” She replied simply. “How are you doing? By the way,”

 

 

Suddenly, everything felt alright again. Minjoo bit her lower lip. “I don’t know what to answer either, mixed of happy and sad? You can add some bitterness too,” She answered making Yujin laugh out loud. Her heart flipped at the sight of the blue haired woman laughing her hearts out, her ears are flooded by that melodic laugh, it never fails to make her feel things.

 

 

“Oh, Minjoo,” Yujin muttered, shaking her head in amusement before looking at her with those sincere and adorable eyes. Butterflies, Minjoo can feel butterflies in her stomach. “There weren’t supposed to have mix and sort of stuff,” She retorted with a genuine tone. “You should only be happy.” Added by her.

 

 

The brunette scoffed bitterly, her chest getting heavy. If there’s anything that she should feel, then it should be sadness, she’s just happy because her friends are cheering her up and encouraging her for this important day. “You very well knew why I can’t be fully happy in my lifetime, Yujin,” She blankly replied, gulping. “Happiness is just temporary to me, and it’ll never be the same anymore after you—” Minjoo didn’t even got to finish her sentence when the blue haired woman shushed her gently.

 

 

Tears are threatening to form in her eyes, she knew she should be tougher but whenever this happens, she can’t help but to cry and shatter. She stared back at those sparkling orbs while gritting her teeth, the sight of Yujin staring at her like this, smiling at her like this, it pains her. It hurts to bad.

 

 

“Don’t mention it, don’t,” The taller muttered, smiling sadly. “Our moments should only be happy and nothing else.”

 

 

Minjoo smiled, bitterly and sadly. “Our last moment, you meant?” She hissed, gulping down and holding her tears.

 

 

Yujin tilted her head, nodding a bit before breaking into a very dashing smile that Minjoo was and still swoon for. Her heart flutters and clenched at the same time. The brunette nodded quietly.

 

 

“You should move on now, Minjoo. Past is the past, focus on the present and future.” The blue haired woman softly said, hoping that this time, these words will be planted in her head. “You should accept the reality, accept what happened, accept everything so you can finally move forward again. I won’t feel peace at all when you keep being like this, I’m always watching you, y’know? Smile genuinely again, be happy, enjoy your life. Please, for me?” She pleaded, her voice hoarse and cracking.

 

 

Minjoo stared at her before taking a deep breath, finally nodding along. It made Yujin smile again, giving the woman a very proud look. “Promise?” She asked and the brunette clenched her jaw before breathing out. “I promise,”

 

 

With that, the woman beside Minjoo stood up, smiling in satisfaction before walking up infront of her, bending her knees a bit. The brunette’s breath hitched, she knew that Yujin will go now, but why is it too short this time? It’s the last time but they barely spent ten minutes of being together.

 

 

“Stop smoking, will you? It will destroy your health slowly,” Yujin scolded, pressing her lips into a thin straight line, visibly upset and disappointed. Minjoo weakly chuckled, nodding all along. “Fine, this is my last cigarette stick ever.” She said, her lips quivering and she even showed the almost finished stick to the latter.

 

 

Yujin nodded, smiling very happily at her. “That’s my good girl,” She said before gently cupping her cheeks, looking at her with those eyes that are Minjoo weak for.

 

 

The brunette felt nothing on her face, but she can feel warmth, and that’s more than enough to know.

 

 

Minjoo stared back at Yujin, tear slowly escaping her eyes and the taller woman just looked at her sadly, unable to wipe those tears away. Minjoo understood it clearly.

 

 

Smiling once again at the woman sitting on the bench, Yujin slowly leaned down. “Remember, I will be always watching you, my love,” She softly whispered and Minjoo’s heart started to quake. Yujin inched closer again, closing her eyes and Minjoo did the same, waiting for that warm lips to press into her’s again, that lips she’s been longing for. She prayed to the deities above that hopefully, she could finally feel the warm and softness of those lips for the last time.

 

 

 

“I love you, Kim Minjoo. Until we meet again,”

 

 

Another gush of wind passes by.

 

 

Minjoo waited, feeling shivers down to her spine and suddenly, everything feels cold again, so lonely cold.

 

 

They didn’t hear her prayers. They never do anyway.

 

 

The brunette gulped, clenching her jaw as her body started to tremble in no particular reason. She didn’t open her eyes yet because she’s so afraid, so afraid.

 

 

She hoped and waited again, but in the end, she felt nothing. She felt no presence infront of her anymore.

 

 

Her ears perked up from the sound of the door opening, Minjoo’s shoulders slumped, defeated.

 

 

“Minjoo,”

 

 

 

With that call, she slowly fluttered her eyes open, the view of the starry night and moon glancing down to her greeted her. There’s no Yujin infront of her anymore. She vanished like that, again but this time, she wouldn’t be back anymore.

 

 

She bitterly smiled at herself before looking over her shoulders, spotting a figure walking up towards her, wearing a worried smile.

 

 

“I’ve been looking around you, you suddenly disappeared.” She worriedly said, pouting a bit. Minjoo chuckled, slowly standing up from her seat and the stick once again, throwing it on the floor and stepped on it to extinguish the small fire. She puffed the smoke out for the last time and walked towards the person.

 

 

“Sorry, I just wanted to have some smoke. I apologize if I worried you, Chaewon-ah,” Minjoo said, grinning sheepishly at the woman who has a orange bob cut.

 

 

Chaewon heaved a sigh. “I told you to stop smoking already,” She scolded, very worried and the brunette chuckled with this, nodding. “Yes, yes, I promise I won’t smoke anymore.” She answered and the smaller woman nodded firmly, giving her a pointed look.

 

 

“You better be,” Chaewon said before nodding her head towards the direction of the exit. “Let’s go now, the others are asking your whereabouts now. I can’t believe you disappeared at our own engagement party.” She added, holding Minjoo’s hand gently and dragged her along.

 

 

The brunette laughed wholeheartedly. “Aww, are you afraid that I ditched you? Hmm? My dear fiancé?” She teased as they walked down to the stairs but Chaewon just sulked at her, not answering.

 

 

Silence took over them, they are just silently walking while her fiancé firmly held her hand like she’s a child being guided.

 

 

“Chaewon,” Minjoo suddenly muttered, very low. Chaewon hummed as a response, meaning that her ears are all on her.

 

 

“I met Yujin again today.” Minjoo continued.

 

 

The orange haired woman halted her feet from moving, stopping Minjoo from walking also. Chaewon turned around, sighing. “You’re hallucinating again.” She said, her shoulders slumped and looking defeated but the brunette just smiled at her. “She’s bidding good bye. She won’t visit me anymore and wished me to have a happy life.” Minjoo replied.

 

 

She saw how Chaewon gulped before tugging her arm again, continuing their journey along the corridor, towards the elevator. “You have a session with Dra. Kang tomorrow at 9am.” She answered instead, reminding her about her session again with her therapist.

 

 

Minjoo smiled and didn’t respond anymore, letting herself get dragged towards the busy hall full of people again.

 

 

They never believed Minjoo, no one did, except for Hyewon— her doctor. Although Chaewon tried to understand her situation and even loved her despite of having hallucinations about her ex-lover. She’s even the one who tried to comfort Minjoo whenever she sees Yujin.

 

 

Then if its only a fragment of her imagination, and because of grief then why the hell their interaction felt so real? So real?

 

 

Yes, Minjoo couldn’t touch Yujin but she can clearly feel the warmth of Yujin’s body so the brunette would refuse to accept that it was called hallucination. But now, she’s ready to accept everything, ready to move forward like Yujin wanted for her to do. It’s been almost five years of living in guilt and grief anyway.

 

 

Minjoo stopped walking, making Chaewon face her. The older is a bit confused but Minjoo just smiled at her, cupping her fiancé’s cheeks as she stared at her lovingly. She might still have feelings for the woman she just met earlier but for sure, she loves Chaewon, and she’s very smitten towards the older.

 

 

“I decided to move forward and be happy with you,” The brunette started. “Sorry if I’m such a bother for five years to you, I don’t even know why you kept chasing and loving me even if I’m still hung up with my past lover.” She whispered, and took a deep breath.

 

 

“From now on, I promise you that I’m all yours, like all of me,” Minjoo said. “I love you genuinely, Chaewon.”

 

 

The oranged haired bit her lower lip, holding the hands that were cupping her face, leaning in to the touch before smiling, nodding a bit. “I love you so much, Minjoo,”

 

 

Minjoo leaned in, planting a short kiss on Chaewon’s lips before pulling away, smiling sweetly at her fiancé and the latter also smiled back at her.

 

 

Slowly, the brunette held Chaewon’s hand, intertwining their fingers together and even kissed the back of the older’s hand. Minjoo gave Chaewon another sweet smile of reassurance.

 

 

“Let’s go, they’re probably waiting for us.”

 

 

 

—

 

 

12/22/2016

 

 

 

BREAKING NEWS

 

A sudden accident happened earlier this night at the streets of Seoul.

 

College student named, Ahn Yujin (21), unfortunately died in the process of saving her girlfriend, Kim Minjoo (22) from a speeding car.

 

The student managed to pull her girlfriend away from the speeding car quickly but unfortunately, the car was too fast that she didn’t manage to move away on time which resulted to her sudden death.

 

The police managed to catch the suspect immediately since his car crashed into the nearest lamp post and currently in the hospital, suffering some minor injuries and will be put into jail soon.

 

Condolences to the Ahn Yujin’s family and friends, and also to her girlfriend.

 

May she rest in peace.

 

 

 

—

 

 

Sorry it’s a bit rushed, I suddenly wanted to write angst so I’m so sorry jinjoonation huhu skdkalsdhkahdd anyway bloom again update tomorrow which is FLUFF so yea!~ i'm just joining the 'killing yujin' and #JinjooAngstParty lmaooo

 

Thank you for reading this and sorry for the mistake~ make sure to drop some comments! See you~