Jong Kook lower his gaze as the groom put the ring on Ji Hyo's finger, she deserved him, he deserved her. Jong Kook felt his heart twisted and he closed his eyes for a moment before looking up with a smile, a smile that never reached his eyes but he still smiled. He had to be happy for her. She found love, found someone who loved her, they were getting married and he should be happy for them, he clenched his fist, this was what he deserved for been unwilling to change, he only willing to keep their status quo. It was only fair she pursued her happiness since he was not willing to change.

Another knife stabbed into his heart, he moved like a zombie and congratulated her and her husband, "May you both be forever happy," he heard himself saying, the smile returned and this time, he forced his eyes to smile, it was difficult, but he did it, her hand felt slightly cold, maybe it the aircon. Her husband took her hand from him and rubbed it in his. Jong Kook felt relived, he was happy her husband really loved her and he could see how Ji Hyo loved him.

She turned and looked at him, "Thanks Jong Kook Oppa", she giggled happily, "Thanks for all your help," she clenched her husband arms, "I found my happiness," tears of joy appeared in her eyes and her husband quickly gently using a tissue to remove them.

"Thanks Hyung," her husband said, "Ji Hyo is such a crying baby, lucky I have my pockets full of tissue. Hyung thank you for taking care of her all these while, Ji Hyo shared so many stories and now I promised you I will take good care of her"

Jong Kook could felt his heart been sliced again, yes, Ji Hyo was a crying baby, his pockets was too full of tissues he wanted to pass to her for her to dry her tears today, he wanted to warm her hands in his too, but ... she was no longer the person he could care for this way. He gave a brotherly nod of approval at the groom, the groom had made his stand and drew the line between Jong Kook and Ji Hyo, Jong Kook understood the hidden meaning.

He moved aside to let others congratulate the couple and found a corner in the dark when he can observed her in silent and maybe the last time, she had quit running man, and they had bid her farewell. Jong Kook felt sadden whenever she was touched lovingly by her husband, she would never been his, he had wanted the position but he had given away that too.

He will now rest, step backward, like it had should since he had chosen this path. He could speak of the reasons he had gave up, even when he knew she was almost in love with him, he could just keep saying they are only siblings, only family. Every other woman was a better candidate of been his lover than her.

But he had missed her, even when looking at her, he was missing her. He was but a toy of fate, fate had let him met and knew her, and yet would not allow him to court her in love. He sighed inwardly, he would not court anyone. He must let go of the love for her, for her good, he had to let go, but why .. he felt so much pain.

He used to watch her slowly been swallowed by sorrow, her trying to keep up physical, mental and emotionally and yet when those overwhelmed her... He tried to help her as much as possible but he could not do it openly, only in secret and in small actions, he never regretted his decision but only felt he could never do enough.

He wished she was well more than anyone in the world, even when her husband took the place he wanted, he just want her to be most fortunate woman and as long as she was happy, he don't even care he will be sad. He is willing to retreat in silent and gave way for her happiness. Even from now on, he walked alone without her by his side, her happiness is good enough for him. He will always be there for her.

He remembered that night... That night when he received the message, “Oppa, I finally found the one.” he was in the gym exercising, luckily he was on his way to bath and he had stayed in there for a good hour before he could turn off the water and dried himself. He quickly put on his sunglasses and drove home. He stopped in a deserted carpark and hoped for rain, but he didn't get his wish, so he just sit there, allowing rain in the car. It was until he felt there is no more, could he drive his way home. He was living with his parents then and he dashed his way to his room and quickly washed his face.

Yes, from then on, he had promised to quit her, quit his love for her, even if he will be alone for ever, he will be willing. As long as she was happy.

*********************************************************************************

It had been years since the wedding, he had not seen her since then, not alone anyway, but maybe in official settings. She would come and say hello and they will talk a bit, he never actively talk to her, he just could not. But someone would told him about her, how she was doing, he would listen attentively, happy she was well, and he always wished her well. He had not been able to fulfil his promise of quitting her and quitting his love for her. He knew when she had her first baby, when her second one was born, how she was doing. He could feel that she was surrounded by love and for that he was happy genuinely.

He had never tell anyone, how he would sometimes spend his days and nights. He will remember all the memories of her and him together, been happy as colleague and friend. Of those sweet times, that he spent alone with her, like a favourite movie he would watch over and over again, those were precious pictures that he could not forget, even if he try. He was addicted to those memories. Even if he had felt this love of his was too painful, he would still choose to keep it by his side forever. He never showed other this side, he was afraid they would force him to forget her, and gave him very little time to remember his love.

His heart was now stuck in the past, like he and she was forever together, he had a sketchbook that was full of her, smiling happy and living with love, even if he knew, she was not doing that with him. Sometimes, just once in a blue blue moon, he would happen to see her and him bringing their kids out , he was so close and yet so far. Other than that he would never make contact with her, for he knew deep in his heart, she was not his and never was and never will. He had no more tears for her, there was no need for she was fortunate, and he could not give her that fortune.

On days he remembered the day she was all smiling and announced her new boyfriend, then the marriage news, he remembered how he was happy because she was happy and how his heart was hurt. It was ok, she was happy, who will ever care about his heart, it was useless since he knew he would not make her his. He had never attempted to draw himself nowadays, because he was never really happy and yet never really sad. He just wanted to tell her in his heart, he still loved her. But it was wrong, even if her husband never can never give her love as he did, her husband still was the best for now. He will tell her he loved her one day maybe .. on that day when he going to die, in his heart, he will mutter the truth about his feeling but not now, never now when she was fortunate.

He lived as if he and her maybe meant to be, like he was waiting for a lover that was aboard, in case, in case... and yet he wished that day never came, there was only one person who need to be ,.... and that person was never her. He wanted to tell her to always act as if there was no years of separation when they ever meet again alone, act as if there were still the two best friends like they were, he was still her best oppa forever and ever, nothing in the world will change that.

To him, they will always together. He just wanted her to smile and be happy and live with forever surrounded by love. He will wait for that day, when he could tell her he loved her, even it was not this lifetime.

Forget me not, Song Ji Hyo. ,,please

Kim Jong Kook.

Inspired by the song "Yao Ti Wo Xing Fu" and  Kim Jong Kook, "Forget me not" 

I updated the story on 1st Jan 2021 because I felt 1 sad story is enough and the two stories will be too smiliar.. have a good year ahead.