3 February 2020

A deep sigh of exasperation seeped into the stagnant midnight air. Alone in the apartment, there laid a buff man, donned in his sleepwear: a loose-fitting black cotton tee and a pair of sweatpants. Tossing and turning around his king-sized bed for the umpteenth time, he sighed before reaching out for his phone.

The sudden intrusion of the light from his mobile phone blinded his eyes for a few moments before his eyes adjusted to the screen’s brightness.

3:21

With his drooping shoulders, he felt defeated by time. Even the timing on his phone screen seemed to mock at his inability to sleep that night

Three, two, one. One, two, three. On the count of three, you’ll fall asleep.

It was either he wasn’t skilled in hypnotise or hypnotise doesn’t affect him, he doesn’t know which and that doesn’t bother him. What bothered him the most, at the current second, was that his inability to sleep during the past three hours.

He found his lips pursed upon seeing the date reflected on his phone. That date told him that he would have Running Man filming on that very day, hours later. Deep down his heart, he knew that he should always be ready for every Running Man filming by getting lots of rest the day before. It’s not that he has a choice to asked for the mystery games or missions to be revealed before the filming to be prepared for what’s in store as the element of genuine surprise would be missing, and it might cause the variety show’s downfall.

He swore that he was tired. He was desperate to sleep yet he couldn’t. It was always due to an occasion when he switched on the massage pad attached to his bed. His frugal personality only allowed him to use things sparingly. That night, he had no choice but to place his hopes on the massage pad on his bed to aid him for his journey to dreamland.

Lying down on his bed, he began to massage his temples. The empty ceiling above him occupied his entire vision. However, he felt he was being stared condescendingly by it. He never knew that even a ceiling could look down on him, metaphorically.

Why couldn’t he just relax and drift off to dreamland?

He wanted to, desperately.

His body was declaring that he needed to take immediate action to fall unconscious, hopefully, into a deep slumber to recharge for the amount of energy lost the past few days.

The past few days was Seollal, Korean New Year, which signifies the start of a new beginning. Together with his family, they headed to their hometown and he was the driver. His eyes were weary from being a cautious driver through the long hours of journey. In the middle of the journey, he felt his eyes became tired. However, being a man with strong determination, his preservation outweighed his tiredness in hopes to receive a long slumber of at least ten hours.

He knew that he could always entrust his brother, Jong Myung to take the wheel. But he felt that he’s ego made him prideful, by reminding him that the better driver amongst the two of them. He just couldn’t stay seated helplessly while navigating agitatedly. The brothers had tried to switch their roles before but his personality caused him to not be able to comply in an easier role.

It was earlier that evening when he had finally arrived at his apartment. Unlike everyone else, the first thing he did after arriving home was to exercise. The pro-longed sedentary position in being seated in the car caused his back muscles to ache. And by pushing himself to work out hard, was the only way he could counter against succumbing to his numbing backache.

Yet, now, his mind was executing another set of instructions. His mind was too preoccupied with the flood of naggings that caused its immobility to coordinate with the body. Throughout the Seollal, Korean New Year, he had visited many of his dear relatives, yet there was only one main common topic: when was he going to get married? Even now, his poor ears were still ringing from all their naggings. His aunt, uncle and even his niece were all the key contributors that made his poor ears suffered.

-

Jong Kook’s family, which includes, his parents and his brother’s family, was set on to a journey back to their hometown. When Jong Kook was preparing to set off, his eyes glanced at his nephew and niece.

“Wow, you’re getting so big now,” Jong Kook commented and patted his nephew’s shoulders.

It was a sincere comment as he hadn’t seemed his nephew in a while due to his busy schedule

“Yeah, Jong Kook-ah, when would you be getting married?” His mother questioned.

Jong Kook frowned. They had barely been together for five minutes and his mother had already started pressurising him with the dreaded question that he has no answer to.

Siding their mother, his brother, Jong Myung remarked, “Li Won is already ten this year.”

Jong Kook squinted his eye at the revelation of such an upsetting fact. Wasn’t it just years ago when Li Won, his niece was still a baby? When has time passed by so quickly?

Pacifying his family, he merely shoved them an answer, “Hopefully soon, like this year.”

Did he mean it? No, why? As his age catches up with him, his faith falters away, slowly but surely.

Shortly after, everyone settled down on the seats in the car and the journey towards their hometown begun.

Looking ahead, Jong Kook cautiously looked out for the cars on the road when a conversation started.

From the rear mirror, Jong Kook could see his father turning his head around. Looking at his grandchildren, Li Won and Tae Hyeon, who were seated at the back row, he asked, “Do you have enough space?”

Instantly they chorused, “Yes!”

“Look, there’s an extra seat over here,” Jong Kook’s mother pointed out.

“This is an 11-seater,” Jong Myung explained on why there was an extra seating space beside her.

“Really?” Jong Kook asked he was sure that the number ‘11’ didn’t appear when he was purchasing this car years ago.

“Yes,” Jong Myung replied.

“This is a 12-seater,” His father corrected.

“Then we can use this car after I get married,” Jong Kook remarked, relief that he still can be thrifty after marriage.

Thriftiness had always been instilled into him by his father as part of a family culture since he was young, so it wasn’t anything surprising.

Then he remembered the nagging he had received from his mother earlier. In an attempt to please his mother to hopefully minimise the naggings, he laughed, “But… My wife back will hurt a lot!”

However, he knows the severity and reality of his situation. He didn’t have a girlfriend. And he didn’t know where he would be able to search for one, much less a wife or a mother for his child.

-

“I wonder when we’ll have one more person?” Jong Kook commented attempting to give them some hope, yet again.

 “We will when you get married,” Li Won replied nonchalantly, “Why are you not getting married?”

Caught off guard, Jong Kook sheepishly replied, “What? Because I can’t.”

“I’ve asked Grandaunt why Uncle Jong Kook always talks about love at his concerts. So, I asked Grandaunt why in a whisper, and she said it was because Jong Kook isn’t married.” Li Won recounted a conversation related to this conversation.

“She did?” Jong Kook mother’s asked.

With his left hand on the steering wheel, Jong Kook’s right pointer finger landed on his nose, bitterly. Why is his ten-year-old niece when asking him about his personal dating life? What have school taught children this day?

“That’s not why,” Jong Kook denied, the answer that was fed to Li Won.

“Then why is it?” Li Won asked.

Refusing to be defeated by the witty ten-year-old, Jong Kook explained, “It’s because I have a lot of memories.”

Jong Kook loves to live in the moment as by that reply of his, he meant that he couldn’t stop creating new memories with someone who has a special place in his heart.

-

Worried for his uncle, Tae Hyeon commented, “You should get married soon, Uncle Jong Kook.”

“Yes, he should,” Jong Kook’s mother agreed.

“He knows what he’s doing. He’ll get married when he thinks it’s the right time, so you don’t have to worry about it.” Jong Myung helped his younger brother, Jong Kook.

He couldn’t believe his ears. Did his brother just take his side him? Amused by the situation, Jong Kook let out a hearty laugh.

“Of course, they are worried. I wish he’d get married,” His mother said.

“You never said that but started recently,” Jong Kook rebutted gently.

“I thought you’d get married before you turn 40. I never imagined you’d be single to this age,” His mother explained her stance.

“Me neither,” He resigned to his fate.

-

The first place the family visited in Hapcheon, was a hospital, where Jong Kook’s aunt, Aunt Kyung Ae, his father’s third sister resides in.

 “You’ve gotten prettier,” Aunt Kyung Ae praised Li Won as she caressed her hand.

“How old are you?” Aunt Kyung Ae asked Li Won.

“I’m eleven,” Li Won asked.

“What?” Aunt Kyung Ae asked again as Li Won spoke a bit too softly the first time for her.

“I’m eleven,” Li Won repeated.

“You’re eleven?” Aunt Kyung Ae asked to clarify.

“Yes,” Li Won nodded.

“What about you?” Aunt Kyung Ae shifted her target towards Tae Hyeon.

“I’m fourteen,” Tae Hyeon replied.

“You’re going to middle school?” Aunt Kyung Ae asked.

“Yes,” Tae Hyeon nodded.

“Study hard,” Aunt Kyung Ae said in which Tae Hyeon nodded and she remarked, “Good.”

“How old are you?” Aunt Kyung Ae questioned Jong Kook.

Jong Kook was surprised at his aunt’s witty question, for he’s not a child anymore, but he quickly restored his comp