March 2020, 1:10am and you've lost track of what day it is, also, it's the 3rd night of sleep trying to avoid you. Makes you wonder what made you so avoidable.

Thoughts are keeping you up again, and you're so done searching ways to shut them up. So you got up, oh so slowly, not wanting  even the faintest creak from your old bed. You took your phone from the study table, and gave the room one last check. Bless your sister for being a heavy sleeper. 

Carefully, you made your way down stairs. 
The greatest struggle is yet to happen though. You have to make sure you won't wake your dog up or he'll wake the whole house. The stairs made the slightest sound and god did it send your heart racing. You held tightly at the handle, internally praying that you don't reach the bottom, first. Clumsy .

You made it to the front door all the while looking at your dog snuggled comfortably on the couch. You were about to turn the knob when bright round eyes met yours. They look so cute and innocent in daylight but boy do they look scary at night. You placed your index finger on your pouting lips, as if he would understand, slowly turned the knob and slipped right out. 

Once out, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. You giggled at how silly you just acted. But no, you thought, it wasn't silly. It was real, you, felt real. Finally, you're out. You wish you were really out. 

The rapid blinking of green light from your phone blocked yet another wave of your thoughts, and halting the supposed joining of your and the concrete doorstep. It was the message that triggered all your senses. It was the message that kept you awake. It was the message you had hoped to receive.

"I'm here" it read.

Just when you thought it's hopeless to hope, just when you've calm your nerves, you felt them buzzling, hear them humming, like electric currents raging all over your body. 

You took the key, hidden under your mother's welcome plant to open up the gate. So much for no sneaking around. You looked up, and for a minute, stared at the house that felt like a cage more than a home. 

You sneakily made your way to the old lotーturned dump site just a few blocks away from your house. You wonder whether it was the cold wind that rained bumps on your skin or the tingling feeling of finally seeing the person you've been missing a lot. 

Then, you saw her, leaning against her car in her decade old pajamas, kicking the invisible stones that was in front of her. A smile creeped in to your lips as you remembered how cute she looked when you about it, or how she would roll her eyesーexasperated of your endless "pajama" nagging. 

Her. 

The person that made you love the things you hated. 
The person that made you insanely, sane. 
The gold you discovered while searching for silver linings. 
The forbidden fruit that tasted so sweetーyou can't get enough.  

"Taeyeon-a" 

She looked up, and when your eyes met, you could swearー HOME, is definitely not a place, but a feeling.