I don't like yelling, it causes me a headache. Whenever someone is screaming and shouting I get scared, my eyes squeeze closed. Shouting scares me, it makes me look intimidated. I don't like it.⁣
⁣
But now that you're doing it, I don't mind. Your voice has always been loud, so I probably got used to it. I learnt how to, I really wanted to be around you and your loud laugh without having a panic attack. When you shout my name I don't feel intimidated. I like it.⁣
⁣
"Tzuyu!"
⁣
I don't like being touched, it causes bad memories to resurface. Whenever someone is touching me I flinch, it makes my skin crawl. Touching scares me, it makes me remember things. I don't like it.⁣
⁣
But now that you're doing it, I don't mind. Your touch has always been comforting, so I probably got comfortable around you. I learnt how to, I really wanted to be in your arms without breaking down in tears every time. When you touch me I don't feel scared. I like it.⁣
⁣
I don't like looking at people crying, I found them ugly. Whenever someone is crying I can't help but make a face, even when I do it. Crying disgusts me, it doesn't look any good. I don't like it.⁣
⁣
But now that you're crying, I don't mind. You look the prettiest when you're doing so, so I probably got used to watching you sob. I learnt how to, I really wanted to hold you every time you'd shed hot tears on my favorite knitted sweatshirt. When you cry I don't feel disgusted. I like it.⁣
⁣
"Please, Tzuyu!"
⁣
It took me so long to get used to your touch, loud voice, crying. But I eventually did, just because I wanted to be with you.⁣

"Wake up!"

You're my lifeline. 

"." 

The reason I breathe. 

"I'm so ing stupid." 

That's why when you left, I stopped.

"I'm so sorry." 

Now you touched me again. Hands on my chest as you pushed down with all your force. 

"I didn't know what I was thinking."

Now you screamed my name again. Head barely held up as you shouted at me to open my eyes. 

"Tzuyu, open your ing eyes damnit!"

Now you cried again. Your tears ran endlessly, like those beautiful waterfalls we took pictures of on our first vocation together. 

"Why won't this work?" 

You're my lifeline. 

"Jeong, tell them to hurry!" 

The reason I breathe. 

"CPR doesn't work." 

That's why when you left, I stopped.

"Please, hold on for me." 

You're my lifeline. The reason I breathe. 

"I need you!" 

That's why when you lied about loving me, I stopped.

"Time of death 12:01 AM."