I always admired you. You were bright, smart, full of energy. You were funny even though you pretended you weren't. 

I always watched you. The dull classroom every Monday morning would always turn bright every time you walked in. The loud and obnoxious cafeteria on lunch break would become less suffocating every time you laughed. Your loud laugh that echoed at every corner of the school, your beautiful brown eyes that shone when you were happy, the addictive smile you showed everyone even if they hated you; it all made me want to wake up in the morning.

I was there when you got into the school's choir, when the music teacher boasted about having you. The fire of passion in her eyes lit when you walked in the first day of practice, joining the main voices along Nayeon, Yongsun, and Jieun. The teacher's best girls.

I was there when you hypnotized the whole auditorium with your magical voice. The melody of my piano was nothing compared to you, no one cared about the piano whenever you were on stage. 

Something changed.

I was there when you started skipping classes. The school's atmosphere changed, everyone could feel it. Monday or any other day of the week was never as good without you. The cafeteria got more and more packed, your laugh wasn't there to keep my anxiety away.

I was there when you started showing up again. You were dressed in black, the bright coloured t-shirts you wore never to be seen again. The big smile on your face would rarely ever reveal itself, your head which you always held high was now buried between your hands as you waited for the days to pass by.

I was there when you quit the choir. The tears threatening to spill from you eyes as you told the music teacher you couldn't keep singing anymore showed all the feelings you couldn't, or maybe didn't want to. You gave up your dream, I was there to watch you run out of the auditorium that day.

I was there when you stopped talking.

I was there when you sat all by yourself.

I was there as you watched your grades lower. When you lost all your strength. When your interest in school literally flew out the window.

I was there when you fell apart.

What happened? Your eyes are never not watery anymore. Whenever someone calls out to you, it looks like you're about to burst into tears.

I'm here now too, now that you're hiding in the bathroom. Your cries are so loud I can feel the emotions pointlessly pour out from your bitter tears onto the floor and gasps as you try to breathe.

I'm here now too, now that you're holding a gun to your head. Now that you're looking into the mirror, but you haven't noticed me standing right behind you.

You never did.

Yet I'm here. I'm here now that you're mumbling how worthless you are to yourself. Now that your fingers are playing with the trigger. 

What happened? It doesn't matter anymore.

I'm here now.

"Jihyo, look at me! You're going to be okay."

I'll always be here, as long as you are too.

"Go away! Leave me alone!"

The gun was pointed at me.

But why? 

"I'm here. I want to help."

I've always been there. 

"No one does! Get the out of here."

And I'll always be. As long as you're breathing.

"Jihyo—"

You pulled the trigger without hesitating. 

Yet I'm still here, watching over you as you drop the gun to the ground. 

I'm still here, watching the teachers drag you out of the bathroom and to the police station.

I'm still here, watching you plead guilty. 

I'm still here, waiting for the day you'll get better.

You will.

Trust me, trust an angel. You'll be alright. 

And I here for you. 

Always.