Chaeyoung

 

She was expectedly quiet as I toured her around the house. I showed her the indoor pool, the private gym, the stable with horses, guest rooms, library, movie theatre, game room. This caught me by surprise. Her eyes went wide in excitement as she roamed her gaze around the space. There were red felt billiards at the centre of the rooms, its giant oak table charismatic and steady. We had comfortable leather armchairs, a state of the art sound system and plasma screen across. Several table-football games and a few Space Invaders consoles and six or seven pinball machines lined up against one of the walls. A well-stocked bar in the corner with every hue of amber liquid in their inverted bottles.
 

I walked behind the counter and poured a shot of tequila, "Want some?" I asked, offering her the glass.
 

She shook her head, "I don't drink"
 

"That was expected" I said then brought the glass to my lips, downing it all. She hesitantly sat on the stool, eyes on the arcade machines. "You seems to take a liking of this place" I grinned observing her. She snapped her head to me and chuckled, a blooming soft pink was visible on her cheeks. I filled my second round and drank it in one shot, before moving to her side. "Want to try that?" I tilted my chin towards the dartboard then unstuck the dart. She smiled and nodded, jumping off the stool.
 

"Come here" I called out, and stood before the throw line. She walked to me and I settled behind her. Her body stiffened, and my brows furrowed as I questioned her weird reaction. I huffed and took her hand, putting the red dart on the right grip. "First, you need to face the dartboard sideways" I instructed, turning her hips into the right direction. She was stiff inside my arms. Within our closeness, her scent invaded my nose. 'Her hair smells nice' She turned to me, our eyes met. Her brown orbs were deep and earthy yet with sweetness of chocolate, it looked very wise and comforting. Silence befell us for a moment before she averted her gaze.
 

"I know how to shoot, Ms Son" She began.
 

I blinked, registering her words. I quickly tore myself and took a step backwards. "Why didn't you say that earlier" I brushed the tip of my nose and cleared my throat, returning to the bar. She straightened her shoulder and fixed her position, raising the dart to eye level. She threw it and scored nine. That was actually impressive coming from her. I thought she knew nothing except work and being nice. A total boring. I hummed while slowly nodding, apparently approving. It seemed that she noticed my amusement as she hit a ten with the third dart, answering my wonder before I could ask.
 

"I used to go to arcade when I was young" She explained.
 

"Then, you must be a fun kid back then. Unlike now." I snickered. She didn't say anything but pressing her lips together.We were quiet for a while. I popped my lips to break the sudden awkwardness before planting my gaze towards the exit door. "Let's go, we haven't finished" Ignoring her, I stepped out of the room assuming she will trail me behind. Upstairs, she was decidedly nervous as I showed her the master room. I pointed the guest room across the hall. "You can use that one, or any guest room you preferred"
 

A sigh escaped her lips as her muscles seemed relaxed "You don't..ah"
 

"I don't what?" My brows arched, leaning on the railing.
 

"You don't expect me to sleep in your room" she stated, sounding relieved.
 

"That's absurd" I scoffed. A woman like her shared a bed with me? not even a single maid ever entered my room. I would never let anyone let alone this kind of women to intrude my personal space. "Listen Miss Myoui, this is a business arrangement. Outside these walls, we will act as a couple. We'll hold hands, stay close, do whatever other couples do who are in love" I waved my hand in the air. "In here, we are real. You have your space; I have mine. I expect nothing from you" I couldn't help the dry chuckle that escaped. "You didn’t really think I'd want to sleep with you, did you?"
 

Her head snapped up, and she glared at me. "No more than I'd want to sleep with you, Ms Son" Turning on her heel, she marched down the hall, her footsteps small thumps on the hardwood floor. I followed her, still smirking. Finding her words extremely laughable. When we reached the living room, she whirled around, her eyes flashing.
 

"Could we not at least try to get along? Surely we can find something we have in common and engage in a conversation without your veiled insults and holier-than-thou attitude. You asked me to do this and I'm not an actress. I hate lying. If you don't even attempt to at least be a decent human being for a few months, this won't work."
 

I blinked. That was a whole bar she spits on there. Wasn't this the first time I caught a glimpse of her daring side? A grin tugged at my lips. She was becoming more and more interesting. Would there be something else? I wondered. My head tilted to the side as I popped my lips, thinking. That wasn't really hard, supposed to be. I used to even complimented some investors that I wish would face death the next day, for wasting my time. But it seemed, it would be hard for Miss Myoui, the insult just came out naturally on my mouth.
 

"I apologize. I'll try to do better." I sighed. "Do have anything else to say? Anything you want from me"
 

She hesitated, her fingers fussing the ugly shirt she wore. "You can't, um, you can't mess around while we're...while we're together." Her voice laced with hesitation and uncertainty.
 

"Mess around?"
 

She looked everywhere but at me. Bitting her lower lips, she uttered softly yet demanding "You can't sleep with other women. I won't be humiliated like that."
 

I let out a chuckle. My fiancée was quite possessive huh. She was a girl after all, no a woman. Was she truly wanted to keep her fake status respectable when she didn't even have any self-respect? Her clothes, her appearance. That was already an insult to herself. "I didn't know you have dignity to protect even as a woman?" I smirked. There was another, Money. She needed money, wasn't it? The reason she agreed with this ridiculous relationship. I overheard her conversation when she was talking on the phone last time, but didn't really catch why she desperately needed it.
 

Desperate. She could've done anything to earn money. Now, thinking back she had quite a nice figure. I trailed my gaze from her head to toe, she was a woman that rich dude would actually pay for pleasure. She didn't have a good sleep, recalling how she always had dark circles under her eyes. She must have spent a lot of time working at night. I snorted to the thoughts "Well, I doubt messing around is anything new to you"
 

I watched her gritted her teeth from the effort to remain silent. Her face was red with suppressed rage. I raised my brows and step forward, "Am I wrong?" I questioned, seriously asking. Her reaction confused me. Was there any possible chance that I'm mistaken, I didn't think so. After my last comment, she swung and mentally snapped. She grabbed her handbag and stormed to the door.
 

I gaped at her retreating figure. Damn, did I went too far? But I was extremely curious about what the money was for and what she actually did with her life to have no proper sleep. Was my assumption offending? I groaned. Like the fool I was, I chased after her---for the second time."Mina!" I reached past her so she couldn’t open the door. Standing in between her and the main door. "I apologize. My remark was uncalled for"
 

She turned. Her eyes glistened with tears. "Yes, it was. So many of the things you say are." She rebuked, voice rising an octave. Yet since she was naturally soft-spoken, it sounded just like an average voice range.
 

"I apologize" I repeated and heaved a deep sigh. She wasn't going to keep up with my , better watch this mouth. "Alright. I won't be an and I won't mess around" My hands trailed behind, locking the door. If she left, I'm messed up.
 

She turned her head to the side, avoiding my eyes. "If you can't be good. At least act good" She mumbled.
 

I slip my hands inside my pocket and relaxed. That was close. I took her handbag from her hands and hooked it on her shoulder. "I'll drive you home" She shook her head, disapproving. I'm really bad at coaxing, she must be still mad at me. "I'll drive you home" I said, again. But with a firmer tone. Patience wearing thin. She glared at me, throwing daggers with that sharp look. I sighed and forced a smile "Please?" Damn it.
 

"Fine"
 

I opened the door for her and guide her to my red Porsche. The ride to her apartment was silent. She only opened to tell me the right direction while I'm only nodding. I occasionally glance to my side, she still had that stony expression plastered on her face. It wasn't bothering before, maybe because I never saw that sadness plus madness kind of behaviour when we were in office. I hate this heavy feeling, why did it disturb me now? I pulled my car as she instructed, arriving at an area that was still under construction. Light from the unguarded apartment windows would reflect from the dark brick walls that were filled with graffiti. It was already past 10 p.m. No soul could be seen. This place looked like horror films came to life. Was she really lived in this undeveloped place? For a career woman? Odd.
 

Acting like a good person I was, I jogged to her side with the intention to open the car door for her. Yet, she just pushed it forward, hitting my knee. An impulsive wince escaped my lips as I crouched down, staggered backwards. Her eyes widened as she stepped out of the car, staring down at me. "Why are you blocking the way?"
 

Damn it. This girl is ridiculous. Who the hell asked me to act good just now and she was just here being innocent. What is it that you want woman!? I really wanted to shout that. But, I pressed my lips instead, bickering now didn't bring anything good to either of us. Especially her, she was already in a bad mood. I swallowed the anger and annoyance inside me, rising to my feet. "Want ice cream?" I asked, spontaneously. That disturbing feeling, I had to ease that or there will be no sleep for tonight. May it be that feeling was guiltiness of what I said back then or whatever it was, I want to know.
 

She looked at me in confusion. "Pardon?'
 

"I'm asking if you want ice cream" Calm down. Breath in. Breath out. As I mentioned before, my patience wasn't my virtues. I hated waiting, and repeating my words. Why was it so hard to understand? A yes and thank you was all I need. Damn it. I really can't with unintelligent people more or so a disagreeable person.
 

"That was really out of character, Ms Son?"
 

Was it? I blinked, popping my lips. Oh yeah. It was. Not me. But I didn't know and I didn't want to know why I am doing this. I could just go home, not wasting my time and energy here just to be annoyed by this dim-witted assistant. Yet, again this stupid feeling wouldn't let me sleep until I'd turned that frown on her face, upwards. I click my tongue and grabbed her shoulder, pushing her to take a few steps to the side then face the convenience store that was still open. "I'll wait at the swings" I pointed to the empty playground just a few meters away.
 

I watched her sighing in defeat before entering the store. Pushing myself back and forth as I waited for her, I found the night to be comforting in some way. It was weirdly relaxing, considering the fact that I despised darkness. Damn. There was more thing that I hated than I loved about this world, and everything, everyone around me. What a depressing life. My eyes caught her silhouette walking closer until she stood below the soft glow of the moon, she was looking irritatingly beautiful. It felt that, the face she had was too good for her, what a waste.

"If you are the one who offered, isn't it suppose to be your treat?" She hinted sarcasm as she gave me a chocolate ice cream corn while she had Coolish. A Japan soft-serve ice cream in small, squeezable pouches. They sell those?! I ignored her as my gaze trailed her ice cream then to mine, why did mine look less delicious? She took a seat on the swings next to me while I rose to my feet.

"I want that" I stated, snatching hers and switched it with my ice cream. She huffed in disbelief, eyes on me until I settled back on my swing. A grin made its way on my lips as I opened the cap. It was sure a lot tastier. Humming a random song, I couldn't restrain myself from the sensation of flying through the air with my feet stuck out and the world rushing blurry. It had been years since I'm on one. The last time I had was with my step-sister pushing me from behind as we played. I turned to the silent girl who was obviously studying me, with another bewildering expression.
 

"I think you are drunk" She commented.
 

"Maybe" I chuckled. That was the only thing that could explain my action now. Being stupidly embarrassing as I enjoyed the swings like a nine years old kid. You have a lot of things to regret tomorrow, Son Chaeyoung. I would just assume that the few shot of tequila had taken a toll of me. Under the influence of alcohol, everything seems like fun, wasn't it? Conversations which under usual circumstances would be dull, become thrilling as a result of muddled words, loss of filter and a burning desire to be brutally honest. But I wasn't completely lost control, there was still conscious in me. I won't humiliate myself to the degree that tomorrow I would feel like attempting suicide, I ain't that uncool.
 

This was a rare scene of us actually sitting next to each other without me being a and her being offended, we both just peacefully feeling each other's presence. No words were spoken. No business-related. Just the two of us, eating our ice cream in this empty and lonely playground. I turned to her and tried to find an answer for my lingering curiosity, "Miss Myoui, seriously speaking, why do you need money so badly?"
 

She halted and stared into nothingness for several seconds. As if reaching a conclusion from her deep thinking, she asked, "What is the first rule again, Ms Son?"
 

I tilted my head, "Hmm, first. You shall respect privacy" She chose to keep it secret and I shouldn't ask further. That was her answer. "Alright" I nodded slowly, understanding. I caught her rubbing her hands on her arms, as her lips tremble slightly. Not thinking much, I took off my coat and handed it to her."You may use this. I see you shivering. Don't decline. I'm playing a good role now." Thankfully, she accepted it with a mumble of thanks.
 

It was quiet and we decided to listen to the random sounds that came sailing in the breeze; the birdsong came so sweetly, almost tangible, as if it were softly spun sugar. This was therapeutic for a city girl who was cornered with problems on all side, I never knew I needed this kind of rest.
 

"It's here, walks straight then there would a building where I rented a room" She stated, pointing. I took a look down the alleyway, it was straight like a drinking straw and almost as narrow. So, this was the only alley that led to her apartment. And I mindlessly offered to walk her until we reached the entrance of her house, playing the good roles that she wanted. But, I don't really fond of dark place especially in a confined space. My face fixed a frown.
 

It seemed that she noticed my reluctance as she eyed me with that dulled-penguin-sickening face. That expression that I couldn't interpret since I first saw it. "You don't hav---"
 

"I'll walk you over" I interjected, walking in. Second after, turning around to make sure she was following me behind. I gestured her to walk beside me and she obliged, quickening her step. Now it was less scary at least, I'm not alone. If anything like ghost, murderer, gangster suddenly jumped and attacked us: I would gladly offer Miss Myoui and ran away.
 

As we walked between the walls that were too high for me to bother seeking the almost black sky, I unconsciously kicked rubbish with each stride. This place is horrible when it came to safety and health although the atmosphere was calm and silence. Yet, don't assume that still waters hold no crocodiles. Thankfully, there was a lamppost that casting our shadow and providing the slightest bit of light, just as much as we needed.
 

I sighed when we left the street, unharmed. An old building greeted us. She turned to me and bowed. "Thank you for walking me home. Good night, Ms Son" I nodded my head, and watched her disappeared as she walked in. I grimaced as I wondered my eyes over the building. Rose bushes were growing out of control and seemed to take over the property. The concrete was ageing with the chalky paint fell in fragments. It seemed that it could shudder in the wind and sway if the rain attacked it. It was shabby...yet aesthetic. Was it because of the flowers and branches growing on the walls? It looked like an entrance to a magical world, Neverland. And what, Miss Myoui was a fairy? I scoffed. Jokes on me.
 

I swung around, peaked at the dark alley then stole another glance at the building. She had to walk through that dangerous path every single day and lived in this awful apartment. The driveway to here took almost an hour and a half, and she didn't have a car. Meant, she rode a bus. How many stations for her to get here? Was there even a bus stop? I didn't notice one nearby. The last was a few kilometres away. So she walked? Alone in the darkness. I tapped my feet, popping my lips. Sometimes, I was being a complete when I demanded her to stay overtime just for fun. During those days, she went home around midnight. Wait, wait wait. To put that into calculation....Damn. Why did I even care? I sneered and shook my head.
 

Oh, dammit. I forgot the alley was the only way out.
 

I spell all courage in me to come together. It was just an alley, and I'd walked through it. Nothing to be afraid of. As long as my mind was awake and fought the remembrance of the terrible days. I will be fine. After a quick glance over my shoulder and one more to make sure, I left the well-lit street for the gloom, feeling my heart quickened. As I stood under the same lamppost, it suddenly went flickering eerily on the pavement and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Before I even took another step, it bled out.
 

. . .
 

I froze, feeling the panic began like a cluster of spark plugged in my abdomen. My brain started to fire out negative thoughts like a machine gun. Fright consumed every cell in my body, swelling them with terror. With every second I practically felt the rise of my blood pressure. Flashlight! I hastily patted all over my trousers pocket but it wasn't there. Where the hell is my phon--
 

'Grandpa! Grandpa!' Please, Chaengie is scared. Dada, Unnie'
 

Stop. I covered my ears. Squeezing my eyes shut. My imagination supplied many beasts with fantastical jaws to lurk beyond the range of my vision. Hands tracing over my skin, red glowing eyes staring to eat me whole. I was drenched in sweat. Tears running down my face, like the water flowing through the drains. Rubbing salt into my open wounds.
 

Don't cry Son Chaeyoung. Breath, c'mon. I balled my fist, nails digging into my palm as I tried to focus. I could hear the air moving through my bronchioles like they were some kind of weird instrument as I wheeze heavily. Another fetal asthma attack could send you directly to hell. Taking note, I pulled out my inhaler with trembling hands and brought it to my lips.
 

*Bark*
 

I flinched in shock as my grip loosened and the inhaler fell into freaking nowhere. ing Dogs. Everything was dark. From what direction will the dogs in wolfishly pack came to attack, which part he would bite, when it will jump on me. I had no answer. My chest wracked with sobs as my breathing went crazily ragged. I collapsed to my knees not caring about the grit that dug into my knees, hands wandering around the ground to find my inhaler. I was blinded.
 

*Bark*
 

I snapped my head to the back, as the barking sounds went near. My hands automatically covered my face in a full defence mood, as I was leaning against a wall brick. I waited, sniffling quietly with my head bowed. A sudden solid pure beamed cutting right through the darkness, bringing light to my vision. Then there I heard, a soft voice calling.
 

"Ms Son?"
 

I hesitantly lifted my head and saw Miss Myoui standing across me. Her eyes met mine, and again I saw that dulled-penguin-sickening expression on her face but this time the intensity tripled. Another bark broke our eye contact as I quickly turned to her side. There was a dog with a leash around its neck. I pressed my body harder against the wall, distancing myself.
 

Miss Myoui crouched down and the dog's head. I can hear she said something, but she sounded distant and muffled. It must have been me who was in haze and heard every sound like a buzzing. She approached me and squatted, reaching for my hand. I felt the muscles of my chin trembled like the small child I was. My body was shaking uncontrollably. I eyed the dog as it stayed glued to the ground. A warm touch on my cheeks, earned my attention. Miss Myoui was wiping my tears, tracing her thumbs across my cheekbones.
 

"It's okay. It's alright. You'll be fin---"
 

Her words paused as I caught her wrist, pulling her into a tight hug with a strangled sob. I buried my face into the crook of her neck, away from the sight of the dog and shield myself from the darkness. Her body went rigid as I assumed she was in a state of shock yet, she melted after a few seconds. Running her fingers over my mane, as she soothed me down.
 

Remember I said, I won't humiliate myself to the degree that tomorrow I would feel like attempting suicide? Well, I wanted to jump off a building the next day.
 

Very cool of me.



 

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✒ Jun Kudo