I wasn't sure how much time we spent in her home. Me, fiddling about with the overseers book, careful to not rip the pages already torn at the seams.

All I remember is a blur as we travelled back to the training grounds and snuck back into the kingdom at the designated time, unseen despite Jimin's watchful eyes the moment we returned to camp. But I payed it no mind. The moment we stepped back through the gate, Yves lead us to our next task-- something about a meeting with the council and commanding guards regarding their situation with the north.

I payed no mind to the guards eyeing down the book in my hands as I read it. Payed no mind to the scathing stares at the back of my head as I blindly followed after Yves, letting my feet follow her mindlessly. 

I couldn't take my eyes off the pages.

 I felt like a child in this moment. Like a child waiting for the adults to stop speaking, or a puppy waiting for their owner to finish so they could be on their way. The moment we entered the room, the first thing I did was make a beeline for the far corner of the room-- sitting on the floor with my legs crossed, back pressed tightly against the wall. My eyes scanning the pages like a child reading their first ever picture book. I almost, almost didn't miss the looks of pure confusion shot my way. One of the guards steps forward.

"Miss.. there is a spare seat right there if you would like to take it." I look up momentarily and follow the point of his finger. Dumbly, I shake my head.

"No that's fine, you can have it."

The reaction is instant. A collective murmur of confusion, eyes darting between me, the seat, and of course, Yves. Not knowing what the issue was, I turn back to my book. I almost miss the slight tilt up of Yves' lips as she shrugs her shoulders, but I will myself to ignore it. Reading too much into her actions was poison to me.

Just like the trip over from the royal home, time seems to wear on quickly. So caught up in the overseers scribbles I don't pay attention to the world around me. I'm only drawn from my thoughts when a loud, aggravated 'slam!' hits the table in front of me.  I almost couldn't believe I ignored the growing, suffocating tension consuming the war room.

"That will not do! We can not wait for them to strike first, we must be ready!" 

Men donned in royal tunics and silver armour sit around the large oval table, bickering away at each other with nasty glares and angry eyes. Jungkook sits at one end of the table, glaring daggers at the people surrounding him. He continues.

"You think that waiting for them to attack is the best option? I think it is foolish!"

"Well good thin' nobodeh ask fer yer opinion den!" My eyes dart towards the new voice, the unfamiliar slur capturing my attention immediately. 

I didn't recognise him. To be fair, I didn't recognise anybody-- despite the obvious, that is. I almost strained to understand him through his thick accent. It reminded me of something Irish, but I couldn't be sure due to his Asian features. The man leans forward in his chair so tightly that the bottom of his long dark beard grazes the surface of the table. "You would send us inteh war in teh blink o' an eye! No brain on yeh!"

The man and Jungkook stare each other down, and I don't miss the clench of the latter's fists as he appraises the much older man. Before he can respond another voice pipes up besides him, more coherent this time.

"We need to be rational when considering this. We can not put any of our people in danger, we can not ask them to sacrifice their lives by making the first move. Not against the North. We need to train our people to protect themselves, we must teach them to be ready!" 

A collective shout of "Yeah!" breaks out in response, but Jungkook stands his ground.

"So you want to let them find us again? Break the barrier and storm our kingdom? We only have five more days. Five! There is not enough time to train everybody!" A much quieter murmur of agreement breaks out and it's then I realise what's happening: a literal fight over powers. The royal guards and the military guards were at each others necks, spears and swords alike prominent at their sides at the growing tension. Something told me they never got along well. Before I can think much into it, Jungkook continues. "The queen came with three of her men. Next time it will be her whole army!" His voice draws to a gradual seethe. 

"If it were not for your meddling, commander Jungeun would be here right now setting you straight-"

"She is not reigning commander anymore. Do not think to involve her in this conversation when all she commits is lies and treachery," On his last word he sends a very pointed look in my direction before looking back around the table. He continues. "This is insanity!"

At that I look away. An intense feeling of dread cements itself in my stomach, a sickly feeling rising in my throat. The mere mention of the blonde girl had me flinching back in guilt. I hadn't seen her since the King removed her title. But then another thought dawns on me. A realisation. While Jungeun was the commander of the military guards, Jungkook commanded the royal. It made perfect sense. I'd seen enough movies to know what was happening. He was eliminating the competition. 

Shaking my head to rid myself of my thoughts, I make a mental note to mention it to Yves' later. And just like clockwork, my eyes act on their own. Within a second my gaze drifts across the table, skimming unfamiliar faces before they rested on her.  Sure enough, a new feeling overwhelms me. Only this time I knew it was butterflies.

Yves sits still at the head of the table, back straight and on alert. One of her hands gripped the arm of the wooden chair while the other lie limply in her lap, index finger tapping against the cloth of her slacks as if counting down the time in her head. It was crazy to me. Crazy how despite the growing rowdiness of the men around her arguing their cases, she sits still, quiet. Crazy how good she looks even when she dons the look on her face in this moment: jaw clenched, lips pursed and all. I quickly look away when her eyes briefly scan in my direction, just flickering my way through her peripheral. 

Close one.

Despite the warmth spreading on my cheeks and the fluttering in my chest at almost being caught, I start reading again. I should've been paying attention-- but I never was big on politics. Something about how complicated it is, how impossible it was to please everybody. Soon the conversation droning out around me falls on deaf ears.

I flip yet another page. So far everything had been the same. Random scatters of ink blotches, the occasional random sketch of wood animals like owls and wolves, messy writing talking about his rings-- reciting the same story he told me in the dungeons.

 I almost felt like I was reading something I wasn't suppose to be. Like I was invading in on his space. But I had to keep reading. I had to. There must be something in here that'll help me.

And sure enough, before I knew it, the meeting comes to an end after Jungkook stands up in a haste. The sound of his chair toppling over and colliding angrily with the floor had me perking up, surprised. It didn't take long for the royal men to follow after him as he stormed from the room. The military guards left not soon after, although more respectful in their departure. The silence is thick and deafening when the last man leaves so only me and Yves are the last people left. After a second long silence, she meet my eyes, apologetic. But instead of saying anything she slowly rises from her seat. 

A single wave of her finger telling me to stand has me following instantly, and I don't miss the hint of the smile that crosses her lips. But it's gone as soon as it came when she utters a small "come", giving me no time to respond before she's leading me out of the war room.  By the time we get outside and reconvene with her guards, the hall is empty. So empty that the silence that settles between us feels all the more suffocating. So I reach for the journal once more.

No words are uttered. Nothing but the sound of flipping pages and my occasional huff at unfamiliar words, the light thud of the guards boots as they follow us from a safe distance. For the nth time that day we're walking, the aching in my heels becoming all the more prominent. 

And then the silence is broken.

A short cough leaves Yves' lips as she sends me a sideways glance, her voice coming out probably a bit more awkward than she would have liked it to. 

"I see you are liking his journal. You have not put it down since I gave it to you."

I look up. An almost embarrassed flush crossed my cheeks as I catch her eye and I notice she's already looking at me. A small smile graces her lips, and I almost laugh at how forced it looks. But instead I clear my throat, nodding my head.

"Y-yes, sorry. It's just... It's not often I pick up a book and can actually understand what's written down. It's nice."

Yves slowly crosses her arms behind her back, humming. She spares a small glance down towards the journal. She doesn't let up her long strides.

"I must admit I did not think of it like that. You feel good that you are now able to do something you never thought possible, something you have never been well equipped to do before." She trails off, giving a teasing eye. I swallow down the lump in my throat when her eyes twinkle, but maybe it was just my mind playing tricks on me. She continues. "I do not see you as the type to read out of interest. You are the type to burn books and feed them to your peasants as scraps."

A soft laugh leaves my lips and I'm shaking my head. 

"We don't have peasants back where I'm from, princess."

Her eyes blow open, wide as if I've said the most surprising thing yet. For a second she falters. "No?"

"It's different. Things are more..." More what? Better? Progressive? Now that I think about it, I don't think we were either.  I shake my head and sigh.  "We're modern."

"Well, to me this is modern. Your future just sounds alien." Yves' eyes draw forward and away from me as if a million thoughts were running through her mind. 

I scoff, drawing her from whatever trance she'd fallen into.

"Your present sounds alien, California. And it is. You think I should get use to this, but I'd like to see you get use to my world." I look her up and down. "You'd be done for."

An offended look crosses her face as our eyes meet once more. "What is that suppose to mean? I am well equipped to look after myself."

Finally closing the book, I rest it under my armpit and raise my hand. I start counting on my fingers.

"You talk different. You dress different. You act different. You-"

"Alright alright, I understand." She huffs. And for the first time I realise she's the one to be caught off guard. A short silence follows as she takes in my words, considering them. She opens and closes several times before yet another sigh leaves her lips. And then she's levelling me with soft eyes, hesitant. "Perhaps... that is something you can teach me."

I couldn't begin to imagine the look I make in this moment, shocked. "Wha-- you want me to tell you about my Eden?"

"Yes. I mean, I am curious after all. Where do you come from? What is to happen to my people? To my kingdom?"

I shake my head and offer a small, sad smile. I felt almost helpless. I knew how much she cared about her kingdom. It had only been mere days but that much was clear.

"If I'm being honest, I don't think I can help you on the last two, but I can tell you all about the first one."

"Then I will hold you to it."

For a moment we just stare at each other. Our feet move blindly-- mine subconsciously following after hers, hers moving with purpose. But then she looks away as if nothing happened. To be fair, nothing did.

I felt weird. It felt like my mind was playing never ending tricks on me. Convincing me there was something more behind our interactions, something more behind her eyes as they lock with mine.

I shake my head to rid myself of my thoughts. I couldn't be thinking like that. I had to stop. 

But then her next question breaks the silence, bringing a new feeling to my chest.

"I've always dreamt what it would be like if all people were living equally in my kingdom. No peasants, no slavery, no poverty. Free to live true without ridicule..." She trails off. "What is that like?"

I stop. Her words send a sharp pain through me. Our pace slows as we near closer and closer to my room, and it's just then do I realise where she's taking me. My words come out a hesitant whisper.

"I... I don't know." 

She tilts her head, confused. I elaborate.

"There's only so much change one person can make before it's up to everybody else to do their part. It's hard to change how other people think. What other people practise and preach... It's just hard."

Her shoulders deflate. I knew my answer upset her.

"So you are saying it is impossible? An unrealistic hope?"

"I don't think it's impossible. It's just..."

I didn't know what to say. Readjusting the book under my arm, I look away, embarrassed. Was I suppose to be reassuring her? What am I suppose to do in this situation? Lie to make her feel better about the future? Something she cares passionately about?

But I didn't need to say anything. She hums.

"I think I understand."

"You do?"

"I am surrounded by people who are unable to accept when ideas are old. I suppose it is a human instinct that can not always be helped. Fear, denial... While I am disappointed, I guess it is something we never truly get over."

And with a few more footsteps, we come to a complete stop. The door to my left burns at my side, begging for me to go inside and have a long needed nap. But I couldn't move. I stay stuck in place as