Mess 32

What A Life
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It's so strange. What is Sehun doing at the hospital? Furthermore, the anxiety painted across his face tells me that something bad has happened, causing my stomach to be in knots too. I continue to follow behind him secretly and when he enters the ward, I pace up and stop in front of the door to see the name of the patient inside the room. It's Mrs Oh. I can feel my chest tightening and squeezing as my eyes scan the name repeatedly. Looking into the room through the window on the door, I see Mrs Oh lying on the bed motionlessly with her eyes tightly shut. This is not the Mrs Oh I know; Mrs Oh is usually full of vigor, what happened to her? No wonder I didn't receive any call from her for the past two days. I can't help to wonder if she felt sick because of me and even though I don't have an exact answer, the uneasiness and guilt inside of me just got heavier than earlier. How am I going to get over my conscience if I am really the reason why she fell ill?

Right then, as I look into the room again, I make eye contact with Sehun. He is frowning at me while my eyes widen in horror because I just got busted. Not only him, Sehun's father has noticed my presence as well. I am so bad at this. If this was a real war, I would be the first to die in the hands of the perpetrators. As Sehun heads towards my direction, I step away from the door and look away nervously. 

"What are you doing here? Did you follow me?"

I don't like how aloof Sehun looks right then as he interrogates me with cold formality. His emotionless eyes make me feel so unwelcome and I am beginning to question myself if I made the right choice following him here.

"I-uh... You seemed very worried earlier on and I was..." My voice cracks and with Sehun's piercing gaze on me, it's not easing my anxiety, "I was-"

"No matter what your reason is, you shouldn't be here. You have no reason to be here. It's not your business to mind."

Stupefied by how harsh Sehun's words were, I give the guy an unblinking stare, with my mouth opening widely without any sound coming out. Every part of me goes on a freeze mode while my thoughts try to catch up. No reason to be here? It's not my business to mind? Did he really just spit those words out of his mouth? Whenever I think Sehun can't get any more obnoxious and ruthless, he never fails to break his own record and prove to me that he is nothing but a heartless . Fist tightly clenched, teeth firmly pressed on my quivering lips, I fight back my tears because I don't want to cry in front of Oh Sehun. He doesn't deserve my tears. He doesn't deserve my sympathy. He doesn't deserve my love at all! Jongin is right, Sehun is the most self-centered jerk in this world. 

Boiling mad, I raise my palm and swing it across Sehun's face for breaking my heart over and over again. Public area or not, Sehun needs this wake up call and I am going to do it on behalf of everyone that longs to give him a slap.

"Why do you have to be so cruel all the time?" I shout, hot tears bursting and spilling down eventually. You know that kind of feeling when you are so angry and frustrated and you don't know what to do so you end up crying? Yup, that's exactly how I am feeling, "Why do you always have to push people away when people are just trying to help? I am here because I ing care about you! You are so freaking selfish and self-centered! You only care about yourself! Do you ever wonder how hurtful your words are? You told Joohyun that you fell for me, you like me, but is this how you treat someone you like?" I lash non-stop to prevent him from speaking up because this might be the last chance for me to get everything out of my suffocating heart. Plus, I might just admit defeat if I were to hear another unpleasant thing from Sehun's mouth. Sehun doesn't necessarily has to change for the better for me but he needs to know that that's not how he should treat others who try to show their concern. I pause and squeeze my eyes, heart aching more than usual, "You know what," I scoff and I dig something from my bag, "Take it back," With much determination, I shove the key into Sehun's hand, "I thought we still have a chance but I guess, it was just my wishful thinking," I scoff again at my own stupidity, "I don't need this anymore," I return the same intensity of hostility back to him, "You are right, your business is none of my concern, I was too nosy. You are Oh Sehun, you can settle everything by yourself. You don't need anyone by your side to get through tough times with you, do you?"

Sehun remains unfazed and I wonder how many of the things I just said get through his thick skull. Maybe none. Wiping the last drop of tear from my face, I smile, albeit a forceful one, as I take a good look at him for one last time, "I don't want to see you again." It took me so much courage to finally utter those words out but I have to do myself a favour and give our relationship a final closure. I don't want to be left hanging thinking of all the possibilities with Oh Sehun anymore. It feels like , it makes me feel goddamn miserable. I have to move on. 

Turning my back against Sehun, I walk away with heavy steps and a broken heart. That's right, Park Areum, walk away. His confession doesn't mean a thing. He is just a big-fat liar, an egocentric jerk, you are better off without him. He is-

My body jerks forward and I gasp when I feel a heavy weight pressing against me and a pair of sturdy arms hugging me from behind firmly; the force is so strong that I almost trip and fall flat to the ground, if it wasn't for the arms clutching at my body. 

"Don't go, please, I beg you, Areum, d-don't go..." 

The impact from his body is nothing as shocking as his wobbly and teary voice. He is crying; Sehun is crying and begging me to stay. What is going on? Wasn't he very persistent for me to leave? Why the sudden change in heart?

"I am sorry," Sehun sobs and breathes heavily next to my ear, causing my heart to twitch, "I am really sorry, Areum. Please don't leave me."

I tear myself away from Sehun, keeping a gap between the two of us. Sehun is a picture of agony, distress, and loss. He looks so broken, so vulnerable and I just want to pull him into my arms, comfort him, and tell him that everything will be alright. But I can't do that, because right now, I feel like I am on the edge of a cliff, anytime Sehun tramples my heart again, I am gonna fall off the cliff. I can't risk it anymore.

"You don't deserve me at all," I say in the most cold-hearted manner ever so he can feel the pain he inflicted on me. 

"I know," He nods, head hanging lower than before, "I am a mothering , Jongin told me that too. I know no amount of apology can make up for all the pain I have caused to you but," He gulps, another tear dripping from his eyelid, "I owe you an apology- no, I owe you way too many. I wasn't lying when I said I fell for you, in fact, I can't live without you, Areum. But I have been a coward. I don't dare to be upfront about my feelings and I only end up hurting you whenever I struggle to cope with the surging jealousy in me, whenever I let anger gets the best out of me. I didn't mean to say those words to you at the kitchen the other day, I just-" He sighs, face filled with regrets, "I wasn't thinking straight. And I have no excuse for calling off our engagement just like that. I am sorry, Areum."

"You ignored me just because you were jealous. You dismissed me without checking the truth. You cancelled our engagement because you were angry. And now you want me back because you realise you can't live without me. Do you realise how dumb and selfish you are? Everything is about what you want. You did nothing to get me back, Sehun. You did nothing to show how much you value me. I can't entrust my heart to someone who is only capable of speaking and not taking any action. I can't stay anymore. Goodbye, Sehun."

Sehun didn't stop me as I walk away this time. 

 

"Okay, you have been sulking and wallowing in your own depressive bubble. When are you going to stop and get your together?"

I fling the cushion towards Jongin, "I am jilted okay?! Show some empathy, would you?"

"Well, technically you aren't. You were the one who rejected Sehun when he asked you to stay. So stop looking like a dying snail and get up, I made dinner." 

Jongin puts his hands on his hips and narrows his eyes at me, like he is tired of my dramatic antics. Where did the Jongin from 6 hours ago go to? When I arrived at his apartment after I left the hospital, Jongin embraced me tightly and let me cry to my heart's content as I recalled what happened between Sehun and me at the hospital to him. But now, Jongin looks like he is going to kick me out of his apartment if I continue to be in the doldrums. 

"I said I am not hungr-" Jongin lifts me off the couch in bridal style, "YAH!" I screech and smack his chest, "Put me down!"

"My house, my rules, babe." 

Jongin succeeds in making me sit in the dining room with him and eat the food that he made. Surprisingly, the moment I put a spoonful of rice into my mouth, I regain my appetite and frankly speaking, I have been starving for the whole day.

"I am not hungry," Jongin makes a face as he tries to imitate me, "Look at you now!" He teases, while his hand reaches for my face and wipes something off the corner of my lips with his thumb, "How old are you already? Still eating like a child."

Putting my spoon down, I peer at Jongin with a serious expression, "Jongin, marry me."

Jongin chokes before he breaks into laughter, "You want to get married with me just because I cleaned your mouth for you?" He holds his stomach and laughs with his mouth, filled with half-chewed food, widely opened, "Babe," He calls out loud, "You have two hot men vying for you and you want to marry a gay man like me, are you mad or what?"

"They don't know me like you do, Jongin. At least, you won't break my heart. I can entrust my life and my heart to you completely."

"Oh lord, please stop," He catches his breath, "I am going to have a stomachache from laughing too hard. Did you know that Seh-" 

I raise a brow when Jongin cuts his own sentence abruptly.

"What?" 

"Nothing," Jongin blinks his eyes uneasily and resumes eating, which causes me to frown because his behaviour seems a little fishy. I know my best friend like the back of my hand. He must be hiding somethi

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Hunniepieee
Thank you for reading What A Life! Hope to see you at my new story: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1456932/twist-of-fate

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joymin
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我的天啊
IceQueenChogiwa
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Chapter 42: Congrats on the feature! One of my favorite stories to reread!
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