Joseon Dynasty —— 1889

It was everything she had imagined it out to be. 

She and the girls from her town journeyed through different small villages, venturing into street markets and relaxing in local pubs with a pint at the end of the day. And of course, every night, she'd stand outside and admire the moon. 

Each stop on the way, she found herself learning more and more about these young women and grew closer to them. Being a the shop, she hadn't had time to socialize with other women her age and she was utterly smitten by them. 

Sora was 19 and ran a small flower stall with her mother, she was travelling to put in an order for some new flowers for the upcoming New Year. She was the youngest of the group and was the brightest and cheerful.

Yenna was the oldest, 27 and with two daughters back home, her husband was a local farmer, she was traveling to visit family. She had a more elegant and mature persona, her natural instinct causing her to constantly fuss over the younger girls, making sure everyone was okay and well hydrated. 

Minyoung was 23 and worked as a seamstress, she was quieter but she was on this trip for a similar reason as Haeun, just because she had loved traveling and was able to tag along. 

Haeun enjoyed the company of these girls, they were all so different but shared honest and welcoming conversation with each other despite not knowing each other well. She learned all about their interests, their skills, how knowledgeable and intelligent they all were. And with them by her side, she felt more confident to chat up locals from different areas and hear their stories.

She smacked her lips as she set down her beer jug. They had stopped off at a small bar to get off their feet. Cheerful music played as a group of men and women performed on a makeshift stage. She hummed along to the tune, her heart full. 

Yenna her lips before tossing some salted peanuts into , “Are any of you girls married?”

Sora beamed, “I got engaged a while ago. I am marrying a young man from our town later this year. He’s an absolute angel.”

Minyoung looked at her feet with a small, timid, smile, “I married last spring. He's from a few towns over. He's so wonderful. He's the love of my life. We haven’t been able to live together because I have the tailoring business and he is looking after his ailing mother in his hometown. He was initially meant to move to where I am but with everything going on, we had to put it off until she got better.”

Yenna’s lips twitched as she tried to bite back her laugh, “So, since you married, you two haven’t shared a bed?”

“I—uh, no.” Minyoung’s face burned red. "We met and fell in love in my hometown where he was working but shortly after the wedding he had to move back."

Sora’s eyes widened, “Are you not curious about what sleeping with him would be like?”

“Well of course.” Minyoung mumbled. Haeun wanted to coo at the soft red that dusted the tips of her ears. “I know that there's more to a marriage than what occurs in the bedroom but I'd be lying if I hadn't wished we'd done it before he left. I—We want to, but our circumstances just don’t allow for it.” 

Sora grinned coyly, “Me and my fiancé didn’t want to wait until we were married.”

Everyone gapped at the younger girl, “You’ve already slept with him?”

“Yeah.” Sora said with a laugh, tipping her drink up to her lips, “It was amazing, by the way.”

The women all laughed but Haeun just stared at them in awe. They were all so independent and assertive, but they were all married or engaged. Haeun gripped her glass tightly, “How do you all do it?”

They turned to look at her and Sora made a face, “You want me to describe ?”

“No, no, what I mean was, how do you get married without losing yourself in being a wife or a mother?” She asked. 

Minyoung leaned towards her, “Are you not married? I had just assumed…”

“No, I’m not.” She mused, “Not even engaged.”

Yenna’s eyes widened, “Oh wow.”

“I mean, there’s a man I’d like to marry but he had promised to wait until I was ready before proposing. And we’ve barely told each other of our feelings. There's a lot I want to see and do before I marry.” She combed her fingers through her hair before downing the rest of her frosty drink. Thinking about Taeyong did curious things to her stomach. 

She wished she could see him right now. 

Sora’s smile grew, excitement in her eyes, “That’s so cute. Well, my advice? Take him to your bed the second your get back to him.”

Minyoung giggled and Yenna just smiled understandingly, “To answer your question, it is often difficult to remember what you were like before you become a wife or mother because suddenly you have double the responsibilities you used to and all you can think about is keeping up with everything. You stop thinking about doing what you want and only think about doing what you must.”

Yenna looked at the untouched glass in front of her, “I was very lost after having my second daughter. I felt suffocated; tired of raising kids and taking care of the house every day. I love my girls more than the sun but it was a struggle.”

“What made it better?” Minyoung asked. 

Tears filled Yenna’s eyes as she looked at the women, “My husband. I hadn’t told him my fears, worried that he’d see me as unfit wife and mother but he woke up to find me crying in my daughter’s room one night. He had taken me in his arm and rocked me to sleep as if I was a baby myself. Then a week later he told me that he’d take time off work to raise the girls and I could go out and find something I love to do. I began learning music. I would play by the town’s square and barely make enough money to put food on the table but we had never been happier.”

Yenna wiped her face and sighed, “Eventually, I missed my girls and went back to raising them and my husband went back to the farms. But I was happier. I still play music, but I’m also being a mother and a wife. Having a husband is nice but having a partner is better. That’s what he was like, he was my partner and he helped me find myself. Now I have balance where I can be me while also being a mother and wife.”

Minyoung picked at the thread on her skirt, “After I got married and he left to go back home, we only were able to speak through letters. I didn’t feel like I had a husband. He felt like a ghost miles away that wasn't real because I couldn't see or touch him. Sometimes I get lonely at night or at lunch when my parents are too busy with the shop, I envy girls who can hold their husband’s hand, kiss him goodbye and share a bed with him.”

“You always have us.” Sora said softly, with a gentle smile, “We’re all in the same town, if you ever feel lonely you can come find one of us.”

Yenna smiled in agreement, “That would be lovely.”

Minyoung squeezed her hand before her shoulders dropped, "When he was gone, I learned to be on my own, to be self-sufficient and strong so I hadn't a need to rely on someone. But I fell in love with him for a reason and missed speaking to him and seeing his smile. Loving someone always requires giving a part of yourself away but I don't think you're losing or sacrificing that part of you. If the person you love respects you, they will keep that part of you safe. And they will give you a part of them in return."

Sora hummed in agreement, "That's love. It's a risk, it's uncertainty, it's vulnerability but with the right person...it's worth it."

"And marriage shouldn't be seen as settling down or slowing down. Our life should not be determined by our family status. You marry to build a life with a person you love but it doesn't have to be a boring or dull life. It can be the life you always wanted, you're just sharing it with someone else." Yenna added; conviction in her gaze. 

Minyoung groaned, "Now you've got me missing him all over again."

“Minyoung?” Haeun asked suddenly, straightening up, “what town is your husband from?”

She pouted, “Across the river’s bridge. It's in the opposite direction.”

“Why don’t we take you there?” Haeun asked, excited about the idea. “We could travel to his town, drop you off and then we can meet here and return back together.”

Sora sat up, “Actually, I don’t have to go to a specific town for the New Year's flowers. I’m sure I can find someone in your husband’s village who sells what I need.”

Yenna raised her brow, “My family is coming to visit me for the holidays anyway. I can send them a letter about not being able to stop by.”

Minyoung gaped at the girls, “You can’t be serious.”

“We are! Come on, how amazing will it be to surprise him?” Haeun exclaimed. 

Minyoung scoffed in disbelief, "You'd do that for me?"

"Of course!"

She hesitated for a moment before she picked up and chugged the beer in Yenna’s glass. It brought out cheers from the other girls before slamming the empty glass down on the table. 

“Let’s do it.”

-----

Oh, he missed her dearly, it was like a part of his heart was gone. 

It had been 3 days since she had departed and he had cursed himself for not being able to see her off because his duties kept him preoccupied. But he was able to rest easy knowing that he had told her how he felt and that considering she hadn’t run away in disgust, that perhaps she’d feel the same way. He could wait for her return because he knew she must be enjoying herself so much.

Still, he’d give a lot to be able to hear her laugh right now. 

Days were longer and darker without her.

“Where are you going?” Doyoung asked when Taeyong walked down the palace hallways. 

Taeyong nodded at him, “The King and Queen have called me to their audience chambers. Make sure the men continue their rounds.”

"And the Prince?"

"With his robe maker, he should be done soon, then he has his statecraft lessons." Taeyong recited.

Doyoung bowed and walked away. Taeyong rolled his shoulders and neared the tall doors. He knocked on the door and wait before the head guards opened the doors, allowing him in. He entered their chambers and was led in front of the stairs where the King and Queen were seated atop of before kneeling before them. 

“Your Majesties.”

“Please sit comfortably, Taeyong, we did not call you as the Prince’s guard. We called you for more informal business.” The King assured. 

Taeyong blinked before sitting back and nodding, “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine,” The Queen said kindly, “we have noticed that you had been spending a considerable amount of time with the baker’s daughter over the last few months.”

Taeyong nodded slowly, “Haeun. Yes, I have. Is that a problem?”

“Nam has always been a good, honest man. Others would try to take advantage of me partaking in their business, but her father never had such greed. He never asked for more payment than he required and always provided his best products to us. His daughter seems very similar in that manner.” The King mused. 

The Queen smiled wider than her regular diplomatic smile, “I’ve noticed she’s quite beautiful too.”

“I—yes, she is. Um…excuse my lack of manners but what does this have to do with me?” Taeyong asked worriedly. 

The King laced his fingers together, “We wanted to know if you had feelings for the young maiden.”

Taeyong’s eyes widened at the abrupt question, “Your Highness?”

“Do not treat us as Royalty but as the adults, you had grown up around and tease when you were a child. Jaehyun has told us a little about your meetings with her and how the mysterious kitten that has made its home here is hers. So, I'd like to hear it directly from you. What are your intentions with Haeun?” The Queen asked.

Taeyong stared at the ground before facing them, “I love her. I love her more than I thought I could. She is everything good in this world and I have this birthright need to protect her. Being with her brings me endless joy.”

The King and Queen were positively beaming at his confession. “Does she know of your feelings?”

“She does. Although I made my intentions clear, I would marry her once she was ready. She has much she’d like to accomplish in life first. Haeun is ambitious and independent, I want nothing more than to support her.” He explained, refraining from going into detail.

The Queen nodded, pleased, “I respect her for that and I’m proud that you’ve understood and accepted her so well. That is actually why we called you here.”

“We wanted to inform you that when the time comes that you marry, we approve of a union between you and her and that we will do whatever it takes to give you and good wedding and a good home.” The King said. "Neither you nor she shall spend a dime of your own wealth on the celebration, we will take care of it the same way we will take care of Jaehyun's wedding."

Taeyong’s eyes widened, speechless. The Queen’s eyes brimmed with kindness, “You are like a son to us, Taeyong. You have been there for Jaehyun and your father was a remarkable man. We are beyond happy that you've found yourself a lovely woman and allowed yourself to love her instead of resigning yourself to your Royal duty. We always swore once your father had passed that we would make sure you have a good life with the woman that becomes your wife.”

He fought back the tears and bowed deeply in gratitude, “Thank you, your Majesties.”

“Now, come on.” The King said with a boisterous laugh, “tell us about her!”

-----

Yenna slipped her arm through Haeun’s as they reached the river’s bridge. “You know, I’d like to hear more about this man of yours. You didn't get a chance back at the pub.”

“He’s hardly my man.” Haeun said quickly, her heart racing.

Yenna tugged on her arm, “Don’t be so coy. He practically told you that he’d get down on one knee the second you give him the okay.” 

Haeun had to hold back the whine that came with the image in her head of Taeyong on his knee while staring up at her, his eyes sparkling with a ring in his hand and a promise of a beautiful life on his lips. It could make her melt just thinking about it. 

“He is everything you’d want a man to be. He is brave and responsible. He is full of passion, so kind and understanding. When I’m around him, I can’t even think straight. I—I think I love him. I want to love him.” She said, her heart tumbling.

Yenna grinned and squeezed her arm as they finished crossing the bridge and entering the small town. “He seems like quite the man. I wouldn’t worry about losing yourself to someone who understands you. A person like that will always make sure you know who you are and remind you on the days that you feel yourself lost. Don’t fear, Haeun, as long as there’s love between you two, you will find happiness no matter what.”

-----

They walked through the town, appreciating the beauty and quaintness of the houses and businesses. They stopped by a flower shop for Sora to put in an order before letting Minyoung lead them to her husband’s house. 

Haeun could see her hands starting to shake before reaching out and lacing their fingers together. Sora was quick to take the other as Yenna patted her encouragingly on the back. Finally, she turned down a street before stopping at a small dainty house with a beautiful garden. 

She tightened her hold on Haeun’s hand as she hesi