“I know it’s short notice,”

Minghao felt completely exposed under the gaze of the childcare worker who seemed to see right through to his bones.

“I’ve got a really important work thing, they just sprung it on me yesterday, and I have no one else to ask.”

God, this was so stupid, what was he thinking?

This man was tall and attractive, glowing with joy and enthusiasm, he obviously had better things to do with his Friday night than babysit some strangers kid. Junhui’s features stared a little blankly before morphing into a sweet smile filled with warmth that somehow made Minghao shiver down to his bones.

“I can’t pay you much either. , this is a really bad idea, never mind I’ll just-“ Minghao went to turn away to hide the fresh blush of shame that was colouring his cheeks when Junhui grabbed him gently by the arm.

“I’ll do it,” his voice was soft but his smile was bright. “You’re really stuck? Of course I’ll do it.” He smiled down at Yun who was giggling behind his hand. “You want to hang out tonight buddy?” he asked and Yun’s giggled escaped his lips. “Daddy said a swear!” he gloated proudly and Minghao wanted the earth to swallow him.

“You’ll really do it?” He asked and his tongue suddenly felt thick. “Yeah, I’ll do it, should I come to your house or do you want Yun to come to mine?”

Minghao hadn’t thought that far ahead. He had dishes in the sink and laundry piled as high as his shoulders and he hadn’t vacuumed for weeks. It was still preferable to taking Yun to somewhere strange and picking him up late at night. “My house. Do you drive?” Junhui shook his head no and Mingyu’s face fell but Junhui brightened again. “I’ll just come with you when you pick Yun up.”

Was it really that easy?

Minghao felt like his brain was filled with bees. No planning, no stress, not even any questions. What sort of carefree life was Junhui leading that this was so easy for him to say yes to? Minghao let out the deepest breath; one he didn’t even realise he was holding.

“Thank you so much. Like I said, I’ve just started this new job, I can’t afford to pay you much.” He fidgeted nervously as Yun clung to Junhui’s hand and began to pull him towards the art area. “It’s fine, really, not a problem. We’re gonna have so much fun right Yun?” Yun nodded and then they were walking away to hang his bag and Minghao was left alone by the door.

Okay. This was fine. His problem was solved. Everything was fine.

So why did he feel so uneasy?

When he made it to the gallery he set up his easel but disregarded the half finished painting he’d been working on. The painting on the easel was too fluid, too tranquil and uncomplicated, and today be needed something darker. He needed a challenge.

He fetched a fresh canvas and began to paint pain in indigo and black and shades of smoke and salt; scattered with fine fragile details of pale pink and lavender. The feelings flowed though his fingertips and out of the brush as confusion and fear reigned over his morning thought and extended well into the afternoon.

“You’re really going to babysit for those guys?” Soonyoung looked a little worried as Junhui got his lunch out of the fridge. “Yeah, why not? It really seems like they don’t have anyone else to ask.” Junhui shrugged as he found his lunchbox and opened it. It was filled with rice and meat, little cut fruits, tiny cubes of cheese. He shoved a strawberry into his mouth and watched Soonyoung add hot water to his cup of ramen. “You’ve got so much on your plate. Are you sure you have time? Aren’t your exams soon?”

Junhui nodded as he walked out of the staff room to help supervise the toddler lunches. He sat next to a tiny girl with the shortest stumpiest ponytails he’d ever seen on a child. It made him giggle as he nibbled at his salads and rice.  He usually studied on Friday nights, Soonyoung knew that, as he was often too tired though the week. But he’d just catch up on his study Sunday night after he’d volunteered at the cat shelter. He’d find some extra time somewhere.

Saturdays were his sleep in days. His only morning to laze in bed and catch up on his rest; make a big brunch before warming up his limbs with some stretching and dance. He liked to be already warmed up when he volunteered at the local youth centre to teach dance on Saturday afternoons.

“So, the skinny one has a new job,” Soonyoung said as he slid onto the minature chair beside him. “What’s the tall one up to?” “Don’t know, he didn’t say,” Junhui shirugged as he ate the rest of his cheese. “He probably has to go with him. Husbands usually do that.”

“I didn’t see either of them wearing a ring.” Soonyoung stuffed his cheeks with noodles making the little girl next to Junhui laugh. “You look like a chipmunk,” she squealed and Soonyoung scowled a little to Junhui’s delight. The kids had an endless thirst for teasing Soonyoung daily. “You’re too nice Junhui,” Soonyoung concluded after swallowing his noodles and Junhui just smiled. It was nothing he hadn’t heard a million times before.

“Ready?” Junhui held out the coat so Yun could slide his arms into it. “Are you ready to see my house?” Yun chirped happily as he rocked back and forth on his heels. “I wish we were going to your house I want to meet Mittens and Socks and eat beef with broccoli and read the Goodnight Moon book.” Junhui just laughed to himself as Yun chattered away dragging his backpack towards the door. He’d already cleared an early minute with Soonyoung as payback for the other day when Yun’s Dad had been late.

“Oh,” Minghao almost stumbled through the door he was in such a hurry. “You’re ready, I’m so glad....” Junhui smiled down as he held Yun’s hand and led him out to the car. Minghao turned and leaned down to lift the little boy but Junhui had already opened the car door for him and Yun was climbing inside the car himself.

“Okay, belt up,” Junhui said as he climbed into the backseat next to him and Minghao shook his head at the childcare worker’s apparent nonchalance. “Let me check,” Minghao leaned in the other side and checked that Yun had clicked the seatbelt correctly and he had. He didn’t ask Junhui why he’d slid into the backseat and not into the front; he failed to remember the front seat was covered with clothes he’d grabbed from Mingyu at lunchtime. Junhui had noticed though. He was observant like that.

The ride was quiet for the adults but not for Yun. He rambled and nattered the whole way, sentences running into each other, everything from his daily activities to incessant questions and even a little song in the middle. Minghao drove in silence but Junhui joined in with Yun’s song about the cat and wondered if it was always going to be this awkward. Minghao was unlike any man he’d ever met. While Junhui was well aware that not everyone had his sunny disposition, or gentle but lively enthusiasm, but the man driving was absolutely and unapologetically morose.

Junhui giggled to himself as he imagined a tiny little storm cloud, all grey thunder and lightning and cold showers, hanging over Minghao’s head while he drove. “What’s funny Jun-gē?” Yun asked as he tugged at the sleeve of Junhui’s sweater. “Nothing,” Junhui hummed and steeled his face again into a more unreadable expression.

“I’m sorry,” Minghao gestured around at the untidy house when the walked in, “but I just haven’t had time.” Junhui watched the man check his watch and panic. “, I have to be gone in twenty minutes.”

Minghao disappeared with the hangers of clothing into a small room off the main living area and Junhui and Yun just stared at each other.

“Daddy said a swear again,” Yun giggled behind his hand and Junhui giggled too. He couldn’t help it.

“Come see my room,” Yun pulled Junhui towards a small room off the main living area. The house was tiny and everything seemed to be set on the sides of the small combined living and dining room. Yun opened the door to a cozy little bedroom filled with paintings stuck to the walls and books everywhere. “I don’t have the Goodnight Moon book but I have all these books and these are my paintings and this is Māo Māo.” Yun shoved their toy car, obviously well loved, into Junhui’s arms. “My mother sent her to me once a long time ago. She doesn’t send things any more. I want to ask Daddy why but it makes him too sad. This is my train and this is my car....”

Yun continued to talk without barely taking a breath and Junhui sat down on the unmade bed and watched him pull a big box of Lego out from the corner of the room. He held the cat gently and wondered about Yun’s mother and where she was. He knew obviously the boy had to come from somewhere but he’d never considered him having a mother as such. Definitely not one who’d made his Daddy sad. The story here seemed to be different to what he’d first pictured and it would only be a matter of time before he pulled the right thread and unravelled it.

“I have to leave,” Minghao stuck his head in the door and Yun looked up from his Legos. Junhui got up and followed him to the front door. “Here’s my number just in case and here’s some cash to get dinner, there’s a half decent takeaway place just down the road, you don’t mind do you?”

Junhui shook his head. Minghao kept talking as he fussed around with his shoes and wallet and keys. “Ah, I don’t really mind what time he goes to bed, not too late.... do you need to know anything? I mean, I guess you’re the expert in this so-“ “We’ll be fine,” Junhui said using the voice he liked to use when he had anxious kids at the centre. It seemed to work as Minghao stopped fidgeting with stuff and stared at him. “Yeah, okay, sure. Of course. I won’t be too late this thing finishes at ten.”

A car horn beeped and Minghao opened the door. “That’s my cab. I gotta go.” “Go,” Junhui smiled at him and he noticed the edges of Minghao’s mouth turn up ever so slightly, a little crookedly, not quite a smile but at least it was a start.

And then, in a cloud of cheap cologne and seldom used hair gel, Minghao was gone.

“Hey Yun, is this takeaway place down the road any good?” Junhui asked as he stood in the doorway holding the $50 Minghao had shoved into his hand. Yun shrugged. “They have nuggets. I like nuggets.” “I’m pretty sure some beef with broccoli would taste better though,” Junhui’s eyes sparkled at the excited look on Yuns face as he jumped up from the floor. Junhui had seen a corner store just down the road as well and cooking wouldn’t take much longer than waiting for takeaway.