“Daddy!” Yun called out with joy but he kept clutching tightly to Junhui’s hand as he watched Mingyu and Minghao walk in to the childcare centre. “Hi baby!” Mingyu grabbed for him, making him drop Junhui’s hand and reach for the tall man’s neck. “How was your first day?”

Minghao stood off to the side as he waited for Junhui to gather Yun’s things. He watched him fill the backpack with Yun’s snack box, lunch box, and an assortment of dirty items of clothing “I’ll wash his towel and washcloth,” Junhui said brightly, as if he couldn’t think of anything more enjoyable than washing the little boy’s things. “His nap mat can stay. I’ll wash that here as well.”

Minghao nodded as he took the backpack and tried not to look the man in the eye. His expression was so open and unguarded and his eyes sparkled with an enthusiasm for life Minghao had only ever seen on his son.

Junhui looked at a pile of paint splattered laundry the way Yun looked at the McDonalds playground. Just pure unadulterated happiness.

“He had a great first day. He’s very sociable with adults. I’d like to talk to you when you have time about encouraging his interest in other children but overall he adjusted very well. He made a picture to take home and he ate well at meal and snack times.”

Minghao nodded. He didn’t know when he’d have time. He wasn’t expecting to be so engaged on the first day. How much could this man have discovered about his son in just a few hours? Minghao had been with him constantly since he was born. He was the expert on his son, not this man who only knew him for one day, and he didn’t see Yun’s lack of interest in other children as a problem.

“Thank you,” was all Minghao said as he took the backpack from the man’s hands. “I’ll let you know when I have time. I’ve just started a new job so I’m really very busy at the moment.”

“If you ever get stuck or just want someone to help you out I’ve babysat out of hours for other families here.” Junhui’s smile was back, free and easy, as if giving up his spare time to babysit was the most enjoyable thing he could think of. “I’ll remember that,” Minghao said as he shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. He felt strangely exposed under the warm kind gaze of the handsome childcare worker. It made him want to run a mile.

“Junhui had a cheese sandwich for lunch. I want cheese tomorrow.”

“Junhui speaks Cantonese too why don’t we speak Cantonese daddy?”

“Junhui told me he has two cats. Two real life cats at his home. Take me there Daddy I want I visit them.”

“Junhui sang to me so I could sleep can you sing to me tonight please Daddy please? But I want the song Junhui sang. I can’t remember how it goes. Please?”

Mingyu chuckled as he drove them across the neighbourhood to the closest McDonald’s. Yun chattered happily in the backseat as he swung his legs and clutched his artwork with his chubby fingers. “He seems happy,” he said quietly to Minghao who was rubbing a finger against his temple. He’d had a long day and Yun’s constant chatter was making him feel even more tired.

Yun wouldn’t stop chattering about Junhui. Usually this wouldn’t bother Minghao but a part of him had hoped his little son had missed him. He didn’t want him to be unhappy but he couldn’t deny the part of him that simmered with jealousy.

The teacher, Junhui, looked like he wanted to chat longer but Minghao wasn’t in the mood. His brain was overloaded with information and emotion and he wasn’t prepared to deal with the man’s honest and open engagement. He was too raw, too bare, too candid. Every single feeling that danced across his features was totally sincere and Minghao didn’t know how to deal with it.

He didn’t want to deal with it. It was terrifying.

“Come on,” Minghao leaned in to get Yun out of his car seat and avoided the swinging of his clunky feet. He carried the suddenly tired boy who wrapped his arms around his neck and snuggled closer. “Daddy....” he murmured and Minghao forgot all the stress of the day. “Missed you today baby,” he said softly as he carried Yun into the restaurant and over to a booth while Mingyu ordered.

Yun bounced back into life when he saw the little box of nuggets and fries and slid from Minghao’s arms onto the seat next to him. “So tell me how your day was.” Minghao looked up from his chicken burger at Mingyu and smiled. He rarely ate the fast food that Yun loved so much but he couldn’t face cooking for one. “It was fantastic. The gallery owner knows more about business than art though.” “That’s Jeonghan,” Mingyu nodded. He knew Jeonghan from art school. The man had tutored him in business management and they’d struck up a friendship which lasted past University. Mingyu was only too glad to recommend Minghao when Jeonghan purchased the gallery as his latest ‘investment project’.

Yun’s eyes dipped low as he stuffed fries into his mouth and Minghao pulled him back into his lap. “We come here too often,” he mumbled as he struggled to hold onto the little boy. “Don’t beat yourself up,” Mingyu said as he grinned around his burger. Minghao sighed loudly. He shifted Yun’s weight to the other leg and picked at a spare chicken nugget. He used to cook, a long time ago, when Yun was smaller. When he could rely on him to stay in one place for a while. When he didn’t ask so many questions.

“So tell me more about it,” Mingyu bit down on his burger sending drips of sauce flying everywhere but on his shirt. Minghao rolled his eyes but Yun began to giggle and suddenly sat up and took a big drink from his juice. “Can I go play?’ he asked and Minghao just shrugged. “Fine.” Yun slipped from his lap and ran off to the playground.

“He really loves that guy at the childcare,” Mingyu said as they watched Yun’s chubby little legs struggle up the stairs to the slide. “Yeah, the weird guy, a bit too much.” Minghao ate another nugget and wished it was real food. Maybe he would have to start being more organised and do some meal prep on the weekends or something. Eating like this wasn’t going to be any good for either of them long term. “He didn’t seem that weird to me,” Mingyu laughed a little at the memory of the tall man crouching low and making himself small as he played with Yun. “He seemed nice. Fun, you know, free spirited.”

That’s what made Minghao so unnerved. He couldn’t handle free spirited. He needed sensible, serious, conscientious. He thrived on predictability. He craved routine and was drowning in responsibility. The man he’d met was way too open with his emotions, too wildly reckless with his smiles, and Minghao shuddered at the memory. He used to be more like that once. Young, happy, childish. Foolish. It was a sure-fire way to get yourself hurt.

“Yeah, well, takes a special kind of guy to work with little kids all day.” Mingyu opened his mouth to question the disdain dripping from Minghao’s lips but he changed his mind and just finished his burger. A cry from the playground roused Minghao from his musings and he jumped up to see Yun running open mouthed towards him.

“I fell...” he cried and Minghao lifted him into his arms. “Shhhh....” he shushed him as best he could. “Is he okay?” Mingyu’s eyes flashed with worry but Minghao just nodded. “He’s fine. He’s more tired than anything.”

Endlessly grateful for his friend’s silent presence, Minghao bundled Yun up in his own coat while Mingyu cleaned up their mess. They drove home in quiet contemplation. Mostly Minghao was just too tired to talk. “Do you want me to come in?” Mingyu asked softly and Minghao shook his head. “Thanks anyway,” he said as he got out and leaned in to grab Yun and his backpack.

He led the tired boy by the hand to the front door and unlocked it. “Tired,” Yun whined as Minghao tossed the bag inside and picked the boy up again. He felt the familiar twinge in his back as he lifted the heavy boy and carried him into the house.

“I made this for you Daddy,” he mumbled as his eyes began to drool again and Minghao noticed the piece of paper he was clutching. It was simple, a tree with the leaves made by prints of Yun’s hands, a riotous glory of reds and purples and blues. It was beautiful.

“Thank you baby,” Minghao said as he smiled at the painting. “Junhui helped me. He’s good at making things.”

Minghao pushed the thought of the handsome smiling teacher aside. He laid the artwork carefully on the table before carrying Yun into his bedroom and putting him straight into his bed. “I can sleep in Daddy’s bed tonight?” Yun asked, wide eyed, sleeping in Minghao’s bed was against the rules. “Just tonight,” Minghao said as he took his shoes and sat down on the edge of the bed. He Yun’s hair gently away from his forehead and by the time he got up to get in the shower the boy was already fast asleep.