Seulgi played guitar. Calloused fingers moving over segmented metal strings, strumming out to compliment the comforting silence of her own solitude. Eyes shut, leaning back in her desk chair. Curls of fragrant smoke hanging low in the air. Her laptop before her, a new document pulled up in her writing app, covered with scattered, nonsense lyrics. Had they been read by any other, the words would appear to be the ramblings of a mad woman.

The song wasn’t perfect - far from it, in fact - and Seulgi knew it. But on that warm Friday night, with her roommate gone out for the evening and much of the dorm building empty, she didn’t care. Briefly, she considered retiring to the rooftop and playing there. The weather was nice, and she wouldn’t risk stinking up her room. If she left, the ever-dutiful dorm inspectors would have nothing to find if they decided to randomly check up on her tonight. But as she paused in her self-serenade to hold the glass pipe to her lips and light it, she considered that there was supposed to be a star shower tonight. There would be other students up there, drinking, staring up at the sky, and inevitably wondering about the quiet stoner girl playing guitar alone in the corner. At the thought of such a circumstance, the idea of leaving her room soured.

Seulgi placed her bowl back on the desk, took a sip of coffee, and returned to her music.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when someone began hammering on her door. Seulgi’s steady cavalcade of notes, so smooth and sweet and rhythmic, ended with the  edged twang of a slipped finger. Panic fluttered in her gut as she stared at the door. Had one of the RAs smelled the smoke? It was the Saturday night after a football game. Surely they wouldn’t be patrolling the hallways that strictly.

“Open up, Seul! I forgot my key.” a familiar, melodic voice called. Seulgi relaxed, placed her guitar on its hook beside the window, and went to open the door.

She was met by a black-haired woman who stood (exactly) three inches taller than her. As usual, Sooyoung wore clothing that was functionally simple: a denim skirt and a white top tucked into her waistband, with spotless cloth sneakers. The curves of Sooyoung’s hips and upper body made her outfit stand out, fabric pulled taut against her skin in a way that had lured both men and women alike into salacious stupor. Top that with contemplative eyes, naturally accented lips, and the pinkish darkening of a budding tan, and Sooyoung was every twenty-something year old’s wet dream.

But Seulgi didn’t feel that way about Sooyoung. She’d gotten over that hopeless crush a while ago.

“What would you have done if I wasn’t awake?” Seulgi asked as her roommate rushed inside.

“Knocked harder. It’s not like you go anywhere,” Sooyoung said absently, hurrying over to her own desk. “I thought you were gonna clean up your side of the room today?”

Seulgi felt herself blush as she glanced over at her unmade bed, ruffled papers, and unorganized closet. By contrast, Sooyoung’s side of the room was always in a state of orderliness. In the two and a half years that they’d been living together, Seulgi had never been able to pick up on that particular habit.

“But since you’re just getting high, you should come out with me,” Sooyoung said, still looking through her drawers. “I’m going to a party at Chi Phi. It’s a biology frat, so they’re all probably pre-med anyway. Maybe you’ll meet someone there that you don’t hate.”

    Seulgi shrugged. Going to a frat party was on the absolute bottom of her list of ways to spend her Saturday night. She was completely fine with staying in, getting high, playing guitar, and maybe getting a bit of studying done. The latter point was a big “maybe”.

“Probably not. All they do is talk about how hard the major is.”

    “So you’ll have lots in common!” Sooyoung said, grinning wildly.

    Seulgi sighed, plopped back into her chair, and picked up her bowl again.

    With a childish “Aha!” and a grand flourish, Sooyoung finally found what she was looking for. She held up an orange pill bottle, had some difficulty opening the child-proof cap, then shook two tiny green squares into her palm.

    “I’ll let you have one of these if you go with me.” Sooyoung said. “They’re-”

    “Xanax,” Seulgi said, eyeing the powdery pills with restrained greed. “You know, that stuff can be really dangerous when you combine it with alcohol.”

    Sooyoung rolled her eyes, tossed one of the pills onto Seulgi’s desk - nearly losing it under the stack of assorted notes that were strewn about there - and then sat down.

    “It’s fine. Trust me. Only half a dose each.” Sooyoung said as she used the edge of her phone to crush the pill. Fine green powder dotted the pristine pink of her desktop, a jarring contrast that the artist in Seulgi found poetic.

    “A milligram each,” Seulgi corrected as Sooyoung rolled up a dollar bill. “And they’re much more powerful when insufflated.”

    A lengthy, scratchy, sniffling inhale followed, after which Sooyoung took a moment to collect herself, shaking her head and wiping her lip of any residue before responding. “I prefer to snort them.”

    A blissful grin had come over Sooyoung’s face, and Seulgi couldn’t help but feel envious. She wasn’t a fan of snorting her highs. She had never tried it and never would; it looked too uncomfortable and crossed a line in her head that she couldn’t quite rationalize crossing. Still, she was tempted to take Sooyoung up on her offer. All the anxiety-releasing, thoughtless bliss of alcohol without the biting bitter flavor? did well for her nightly medication, but Xanax was another thing entirely. A special occasion, an indulgence. She hadn’t used any benzos in a few weeks anyway, and…

    “I know you want to,” Sooyoung said, sauntering over to Seulgi’s desk and picking up her pipe. 

When she drew from it, she took quick puffs, releasing smoke from the corner of her lips as her thumb fluttered over the tiny hole at the bowl’s side. Seulgi knew this was more for show than functionality. A waste of time and weed, as her brother would say. But it wasn’t worth complaining about to Sooyoung. New Jerseyians didn’t appreciate their weed the way Californians did.

“I do,” Seulgi said, taking the bowl from Sooyoung and pulling the remainder of the smoke from it. “But do you really think I feel like going to a frat party?”

“No, but you always tell me how you think you should go out more, make some more friends, take a break from your antisocial hobbies and schoolwork. It’s basic psychology, Seul. Humans are social creatures. You’re the one who told me that, I’m sure.”

To avoid answering, Seulgi turned to her laptop and flipped on an album at random from her library. The quivering, youthful voice of Don McLean filled the room.

The stuffy environment of a frat party conjured up a mixture of distaste and yearning within Seulgi’s head. That distaste was juxtaposed by her own longing. She was a recluse, the stoner in the shadows, the girl who stayed in and played sorrowful songs on Saturday nights. Why did she long for these horrid places, with loud, vapid people that she knew she’d hate? Was it the classic woe of human hypocrisy that cursed her? Or was there something deeper, some hole in her heart that could only be filled with senseless partying?

“You know I’m just gonna stand at the side, sipping a drink and not talking to anyone.”

Sooyoung dipped into her purse with a long- hand, procured a shooter of vodka, and downed it all without flinching. “With enough in your system, anything’s possible. Besides, you have me to help you out. I’m your own personal social lubricant.”

Sooyoung grinned like a shark, dusted off the surface of her desk, and regarded Seulgi with a pair of bloodshot, unknowable eyes. 

“Take that Xanax, finish that bowl, knock back some coffee, and get dressed. The next bus is in twenty minutes.”

Reluctantly, spirit pressed both externally and internally, Seulgi did so. The pill floated down her esophagus in a river of still-hot coffee, chased by a cloud of flowery smoke that took its destined detour into her lungs. Then, she stripped off her baggy sweats and searched for something more… becoming. Sooyoung lounged about in the meantime, dreamily bobbing her feet to songs she claimed to dislike.

Ripped jeans and a checkered flannel found their way to Seulgi’s thin frame. She tucked away her messy hair within a green knitted cap. Unlike Sooyoung’s well-nourished body, Seulgi’s was thin as a rail. No curves to draw the fabric taut. With the Xanax’s influence beginning to creep up on her, making her thoughts syrupy and difficult to grasp, she found it didn’t bother her much.

“Trying to keep the boys away by advertising your homouality, I see.” Sooyoung said as Seulgi finished buttoning up her shirt.

“Is it too masculine?” Seulgi said worriedly, struggling to catch a good view of herself in her full-body mirror.

“I’m joking. You look great, as usual, Seul. If I didn’t know the real you, I’d probably be drooling all over you tonight.”

With a sly wink, Sooyoung slung her handbag over her shoulder and gestured for Seulgi to follow her.

The pair left their third floor-dorm, passing few others in those narrow hallways. The cheap, beige blocks of cement that made up the walls reminded Seulgi of Diamond Bar High School in California. She’d always found it amusing that three-thousand plus miles of space and infrastructural law variation had resulted in the same cheaply painted, bumpy-smooth walls of both academic buildings.

    The pair emerged from the heavy steel doors and into the trepidatious warmth of an early spring night. Seulgi was glad for the flannel; the wind carried a bit of a bite to it as they walked through the courtyard of Caldwell 2’s dormitory. Students mingled outside, smoking cigarettes and drinking beer as they basked in the faint pale glow of the night’s light. It gave them a distant, otherworldly appearance, moon-striped figures ghosting about at the edges of Seulgi’s vision.

    But that was probably just the Xanax’s steady creep mingling with her already-underway high.

Seulgi had chosen this campus as her place to live straight out of high school due to its secluded nature. Of Bordin University’s three campuses, Caldwell was the only one that seemed to escape the bustle and overcrowding of the surrounding city’s grasp. Caldwell’s academic buildings were located in several clusters separated by massive, football-field sized lawns, connected by walkways and roads that were large enough to avoid the obligatory bumping of shoulders and handbags that came with the university’s other campuses. Not that Seulgi disliked Brunswick - it was a nice enough city, with interesting sights and a diverse population - but suburbia had claimed her heart since she was young.

    The heart of Brunswick was exactly where they were headed. Bordin’s bus system traveled between the campuses twenty-four hours a day, five days a week. Schedules varied on holidays and weekends, but as a whole, the busses were reliable. As with any public transport, there were issues, but a free service at a university where everything was exorbitantly expensive wasn’t something that Seulgi Kang would be quick to complain about.

    Sooyoung, on the other hand, harangued the unseen driver as the pair waited for the hourly scheduled bus, which wasn’t in sight despite their phone clocks showing the betraying numerals of seven after ten.

    As was the case whenever Seulgi was under the influence of any substance besides weed, she craved a higher high, an increased dose, an intensified experience. Sooyoung, of course, provided just that: two more shooters of vodka sprung from her pockets like magic. Seulgi indulged this time, toasting to the bus system before knocking back the foul-tasting liquid. She reacted with a visceral shiver of disgust, causing Sooyoung to burst into laughter.

    “You should drink more,” Sooyoung said, as a pair of headlights fell upon them. “It would help you keep a straight face.”

    “Yeah, Sooyoung, sure. I need to add another vice to the list.” Seulgi answered, stepping onto the bus.

    There were a good number of students on the bus with them, all presumably drunk, sitting in clusters that Seulgi and Sooyoung somehow managed to find an unoccupied pair of seats between. The girls were dressed gaudily, revealing outfits and heavy makeup. The boys were no different, adorned in their own versions of party clothing: button-down shirts snug against nonexistent biceps, gelled hair that appeared stiff and shiny in the wan light of the bus interior. Nearby, a gaggle of sorority girls chatted animatedly, blondes with azure eyes and freckled faces, the blush of drunkenness painting their smooth cheeks.

    Seulgi was broken out of her observant trance by a poke on the arm.

    “You gotta control yourself,” Sooyoung said, sounding amused. “I forgot how much of a horndog barred out Seulgi can be.”

    “I’m not barred out,” Seulgi muttered, ignoring the way her vision wavered, shuddered, and swayed. “Just… feeling good.”

    Sooyoung laughed and clasped Seulgi on the back. Then, she leaned close enough that Seulgi could feel the warmth of each word brushing against her ear.

    “How’s your anxiety? Did the Xanax help?”

    Seulgi looked around at the students on the bus with them. Of course, she would rather not be surrounded by so many people, but in her current state, she could deal with it. There was no overwhelming sense of eyes upon her, or imaginary whispers about her that she, with a sober mind, would have insisted she could hear.

    “Yeah, it helped a lot, actually,” Seulgi said, shifting away from Sooyoung. Her roommate tended to get rather physical when she was inebriated. It had, in the past, led to a few not-so-insignificant misunderstandings between the two. “But I don’t appreciate the way you manipulated me with it.”

    Sooyoung batted her eyelashes, but otherwise backed off. “I’m flattered that you think I’m smart enough to manipulate you of all people.”

    Seulgi didn’t answer, and instead turned to watch the Bordin River as it barreled by. They were on Route 19 now, a two-lane highway used by students and commuters alike. There was a gritty aesthetic to its potholed surface, and on nights like these Seulgi would often find herself atop one of its many overpasses, smoking weed and scribbling in her notebook as the hours dragged by. She was still unsure of whether she’d made the right decision in going out tonight. She wasn’t feeling particularly social. The anxiety didn’t have her in its grip, but her current strength in its face was artificial. She feared that, given the right (wrong) time and place, it would return with a ripping, violent roar, ready to strike her down.

    The bus lurched to a stop on Main Avenue, and most of its patrons poured out. Sooyoung maneuvered her way into being one of the first to depart. Seulgi waited for the others to trickle away before following suit. The clusters split into groups, moving in both directions up the sidewalk, all headed to some party or another.

    Main Ave was the largest of Bordin’s campuses. Its edges were undefined as it bled into the city of Brunswick proper. Its architecture was what the university described as “Federal”, which Seulgi took to mean rustic on the outside, modern on the inside. The campus boasted two museums, a hospital, too many cafes and restaurants to count, and enough housing for more than ten thousand students. At its heart - and, visible from George Street, where the bus had dropped Seulgi and Sooyoung off - was the Bridge Tower, a skyscraper that was the hub of activity for both Brunswick and the university. Compared to the buildings within its radius, it was downright massive. Standing roughly as tall as the Empire State Building in New York, Bridge Tower had always looked out of place to Seulgi. At least the Empire State Building was surrounded by other skyscrapers. The helipad for Brunswick Specialized Hospital, the second tallest building in Brunswick, barely reached up to the twentieth of its one-hundred floors.

    Sooyoung led Seulgi up George Street, out of the academic spaces of Main Avenue and into the residential area. Two-story homes with tiny squares of grass for lawns were crammed on each street. There wasn’t much variation in the landscape at all, so much so that Seulgi found herself quickly forgetting the route they’d taken. A left here, a right there, several blocks straight, two more lefts…

    Soon, it didn’t matter, and she allowed herself to be dragged along by the wrist. Sooyoung was great with directions, perhaps a product of her civil engineering major, perhaps just part of her independent, resourceful personality. Either way, Seulgi soon found herself being marched up the steps of a rather large fraternity house, bass-dominated music pounding against the windows from inside, two male sentries at the door demanding cash for entrance.

    To no surprise from Seulgi, the flash of skirt, jaunt of hip, and honeyed words that Sooyoung gave as she climbed those rickety steps was payment enough. The boys let them both in without a fee.

    The inside of the frat house was as bad as Seulgi expected. Bodies crammed wall to wall, ear-splitting music (something mindless, driven by catchy choruses and nonsense hooks) booming throughout the house, alcohol and sweat hanging in the air like a fog. Strobe lights - blots of green, blue, gold and red - rolled across the human tide, throwing them into a supernatural illumination that Seulgi couldn’t help but pause to stare at.

    “Come on!” Sooyoung yelled over the din, pulling Seulgi by the arm. “Let’s go get drinks. Some of my friends are over by the table.”

    Seulgi allowed herself to be led. There was no way she would be able to cut through the crowd otherwise, so she clung to her friend like a child to a parent. Sooyoung cleared a path, muttering ingenuine excuses and giggling apologies at those who sought to accost her. The gawking, nervous-looking girl she tugged behind her was practically invisible. Seulgi preferred it that way.

    Thankfully, there was room to breathe in the kitchen. That feeling of being pressed from all sides vanished, and Seulgi leaned up against a filthy tiled wall. Several members of the frat lounged on a countertop nearby, halfheartedly keeping the partiers in order as they bustled around the packed drink table.

    A group of students broke from the pack as Sooyoung entered the room. A tall boy with skin that reflected the paltry light of the room, muscles quivering as he strode over, accompanied by two girls, a brunette and a blonde. The former girl stared down at her phone, uninterested in the clamor around her, her youthful features showing a consternation that Seulgi couldn’t quite place.

    “Hey guys!” Sooyoung said, offering the three of them hugs in greeting.

    “Hey,” the boy said, gaze drifting to Seulgi. “You brought a friend with you?”

    “Yeah, this is my roommate, Seulgi.” Sooyoung said, taking Seulgi by the shoulders and moving her forward. “Seul, these are Evanie, Summer, and Tyler. They’re from my Creative Writing class.”

    The blonde - Summer, a fitting name for one with such a sunny smile - shook Seulgi’s hand. Evanie looked up from her phone for a moment, blinked as if she were just now realizing where they were, then gave a wave and a choked, short greeting. Her accent was layered, sing-songy, and implacable.

    “I hear from Sooyoung you’re something of a writer yourself,” Tyler said, leaning in so that Seulgi could hear him over the music.

    Sooyoung giggled, staring up at Tyler with a reverence that Seulgi had seen many times in the younger girl’s expression.

    “A little. I do it in my free time.” Seulgi said, having to make a purposeful effort not to shy away from the man’s beer-breath.

    “Good. Writing’s good stuff. Keeps the soul healthy,” Tyler said absently. He looked around, scanning the crowd beyond the confines of the kitchen. “Have you seen a woman about my height in a long black coat and shorts? I’ve been looking for her… name’s Jennifer.”

    Seulgi blinked at the unexpected question, her muddled brain failing to follow the man’s brisk change of topic. Luckily, Sooyoung was there to take over.

    “No, I don’t think we did.” she said in a slightly deflated voice. Then, in what Seulgi saw as a clear attempt to change the subject, “How did you end up doing on the Lolita assignment?”

    Summer, perhaps noticing Sooyoung’s attempts at talking to her friend, took Seulgi by the arm.

“Want to grab a drink?” she asked, holding up an empty red cup. “I’m out, and it looks like so are you.”

Seulgi smiled. For some reason, Summer’s presence brought her a sense of comfort beyond the usual swimming serenity that came with benzodiazepines. She followed Summer to the drink table, a slab of metal and plastic ringed by chatting students. Unlike Sooyoung, Summer didn’t need to push her way through the throng; instead, the two men in her way simply parted for her.

“Gin and pineapple juice?” Summer asked, reaching across the table with slender, nimble limbs.

Seulgi nodded. She’d never had the drink before, but it sounded benign enough, so she saw no reason to choose anything different. She considered telling Summer to use mostly pineapple juice for her own drink, but by the time she’d mustered up the courage to interrupt the girl’s pouring, it was too late.

Seulgi took her poison, and - prompted by Summer - retreated to a corner of the room. Evanie joined them, slipping from the shadows like a ghost. Her phone was now stowed away, and she stood around, arms folded over her chest, watching Summer with a recognizable greed. Therefore, Seulgi was unsurprised when Evanie wound herself around Summer’s elbow and rested her head upon the taller girl’s shoulder. Sooyoung and Tyler had left the kitchen, and were nowhere in sight.

“Sooyoung talks about you a lot,” Summer said, “In a good way, that is. Always bragging about how smart and creative you are.”

Buying time for a proper response, Seulgi sipped her drink. The concoction was surprisingly tasty.

“She really shouldn’t do that…” Seulgi said. “Just lets people down when they meet me in person.”

Evanie chuckled at that, but Summer scrunched her eyebrows together and set her lips into a subtle pout. It was the type of expression that was unconsciously adorable, and Seulgi found herself wishing that Summer wasn’t taken.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Summer said kindly, “You seem like a very nice girl. I haven’t gotten a chance to quiz you on your knowledge of physics and calculus yet, though.”

“What major are you guys in?” Seulgi asked, taking another drink. She could barely taste the alcohol, and hadn’t realized how parched she was until that exact moment. “Did you take Creative Writing as an elective?”

Evanie glanced up Summer as if expecting her to give answers for both of them.

“We’re Lit majors,” Summer said without glancing at her partner. “Creative Writing fills up some solid requirements for us. You should take it when you can.”

Seulgi shrugged. “My parents wouldn’t be too happy about that. I’ve already fulfilled my writing elective. Thirteenth Century Sonnets. Thrilling, I know.”

Summer feigned gagging, a gesture which Seulgi found to be far more attractive than she should have, prompting her to hide her blush with another drink. Evanie didn’t seem to notice. Her attention was focused elsewhere, at some distant spot in the living room.

“I am going to find Tyler,” Evanie said, releasing Summer from her hold and walking away. Seulgi paused, watching the petite girl as she sauntered away, vanishing into the dark spaces that the strobe lights seemed unable to reach.

“Is she an exchange student? I’ve never heard an accent like hers before,” Seulgi asked, turning back to Summer. The blonde was chewing on her lower lip in a manner that suggested worry, but when she regarded Seulgi again, the expression was gone.

“She’s from a small country in Eastern Europe, relatively unknown,” Summer replied dismissively. “It’s getting stuffy in here. Wanna go outside and smoke with me?”

Seulgi perked up. “Weed?”

Summer nodded, fishing in her jacket and procuring a tightly rolled joint. “Let’s go to the backyard.”

Seulgi glanced back, thinking of her roommate.

“If I know anything about Sooyoung, these types of parties are her natural habitat,” Summer said, noting Seulgi’s hesitation. “I wouldn’t worry about her. She’s probably dancing on a tabletop somewhere.”

    What followed was an evasive path through the now-full kitchen, dodging cup-wielding hands and exaggerated drunk gestures. The way the colors and faces blurred made Seulgi remember herself, and with a start she tossed her drink in the trash as they stepped out through the backdoor. They were almost alone out there, aside from two men smoking cigarettes in the corner of the yard.

    Summer stuck the joint in , lit it, then passed it over to Seulgi without taking a pull. She nodded up to the sky. “Looks like we came just in time.”

    Between the immobile flecks of diamond above them were three outliers, three streaks of sapphire running through, making the stars around them wink out of existence. Irene’s Comets. There were specific names for each one, but Seulgi couldn’t remember any of them.

    “I don’t know why more people don’t appreciate them,” Summer said, taking the joint back from Seulgi’s fingers. “It doesn’t matter how often they come, they’re still beautiful.”

    The three comets flared, their undulating illumination arcing down so that they appeared to be on a direct course for the Earth. Seulgi knew this to be untrue - they were merely going to pass the planet at a safe two-hundred thousand miles away - but it made her heart swell in anticipation nonetheless.

    “Some people do. Just not many people in this crowd.” Seulgi said with more bitterness than she would normally have. The drugs were starting to get to her.

    Summer cocked an eyebrow. “Your roommate belongs to this crowd, you know.”

    “Uh, I… I know, I didn’t mean it in a really bad way, you know…” Seulgi stammered, trailing off at Summer’s flat stare. To her relief, the blonde quickly burst into a peal of laughter.

    “Don’t worry about it, I don’t like frat parties either. Me and Evanie are just here because Tyler made us go.”

    “Sounds like a familiar story,” Seulgi said, releasing a smoke-filled sigh.

    “Hm,” Summer said thoughtfully, “Since Tyler and Sooyoung have both abandoned us tonight, would you wanna go check out this really cool bar I know a couple streets over? It’s called the ‘Galactic Lounge’. Really nice aesthetic, amazing drinks, and the music is much better.”

    “Well, I don’t know... '' Seulgi said uncertainly, thinking of Sooyoung.

    “It’ll be fun. Just text Sooyoung and tell her you’re going out with us.” Summer said. She handed the smoldering joint back to Seulgi. More than half of it still remained. “Finish this while I go find Evanie.”

    “Ah, alright. I’ll be here.”

    With Summer’s departure, Seulgi was left to stare up at the sky, smoking idly as she watched that triplet of comets continue their annual journey across the cosmos.

-----------------------

I'm back!

So, in the interest of completing a full work that I would possibly try to sell as a standalone novel, I've decided to treat this is a rough first draft. I've outlined all of it so far - meaning I'll actually finish it - and plan on working on it pretty much whenever I have free time. Hopefully you guys like the introduction, and are excited to meet Joohyun in the next chapter (:

I've also opened up a crowdfunding section on the website. The money will mostly go to commision for artists who I would pay to do artwork for my fics, and maybe any writing-related expenses like certain apps or editing tools. Don't feel pressured into spending cash on me, though; I have a full time job. It's strictly for the added perk of getting paid a little to do what I love. The benefits of each crowdfund tier are listed on my page. Check it out of it you have the extra money!

Remember to upvote if you enjoy the story!

As always, thanks for reading<3