Chapter 26

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The weather began to transition into the hot summer from the fragrant spring blossoms of the season. Light cardigans were being replaced with tank tops and jeans were being tossed to the side for a pair of cute shorts. Sneezes were no longer as commonly heard compared to the sound of water splashing from water gun fights. Classes were completed for the school year and tons of students were released into the wild to savor their moments of freedom before the next semester.

But even on this bright day, Hana is still cooped up in the comfort and silence of her luxurious bedroom. Her pajamas have become her new wardrobe trend and she can’t quite recall the last time she took the effort to wear her contacts. She convinces herself that she simply prefers the look of her glasses, although she knows that the real reason is because she doesn’t have a reason to get dolled up anymore. Frankly, there hasn’t been for the last two months.

Since the group had returned from Japan, they had been focused on finishing the school year strong. Despite the amount of time they continued to spend together, nothing could really fill the void of Baekhyun’s absence. There was always an uncomfortably looming aura whenever they gathered, but they refused to acknowledge it. They were all worried for the boy, for they all only received occasional updates from him. Of course, it was expected - he was now the CEO of one of the largest tech companies in the country. And, he never truly received the proper amount of time needed to mourn (not like there is ever going to be a time when it doesn’t linger on his mind). Baekhyun hadn’t been able to return as quickly as he had promised, but he made it clear that he didn’t want the others coming over to visit him (they know it’s because he doesn’t want them to see him struggling). So, they obeyed his wishes, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

Hana was taking Baekhyun’s absence the worst though, they noticed. She would often come to school with puffy eyes and dark circles. She had mentioned many times how she is unable to sleep because the image of Baekhyun’s father continues to reappear in her head (not in a haunting way, she just doesn’t know how to cope with something as real as death). Kai found out, from walking in on her sobbing, that the girl has a sense of guilt lingering in her chest because she never got the chance to apologize to Mr. Byun herself for the wrongs that her family did to him (though Kai did try to reassure her that it was not her fault or her responsibility to do so). Sehun found Hana falling asleep in class a few times and Suho stayed back after school to help her clean up her classroom as part of her punishment. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were always at her sides, making sure that she was, at the very least, surviving. 

Once school ended, though, they realized that Hana only fell deeper into a pit of despair. No matter how many times Baekhyun tried to reassure her and comfort her (he tried his best given his circumstances, come on now), Hana began to lock herself up in her room and refused to meet up with the boys in person. She felt as though she had no right to mourn for Mr. Byun because of their family feud, but the thought of the kind man not being around anymore pained her. She had no one to talk about her feelings with because Baekhyun was busy and the boys didn't understand (or so she assumed). They were worried for her but she refused to open up to anyone. That didn’t stop them from coming to her house frequently and checking up on her though.

Hana took a bite of the small slice of strawberry cheesecake the boys had brought over for her while they were all lounging in the living room. Hana’s parents remained home more often than usual as well, concerned for their daughter’s well-being. Mrs. Park brought over some fruit that was cut up by Miss Kim and gently set it on the table while patting Hana’s shoulder, “I’m glad you came out of your room, honey.”

Hana gave a small nod in reply before putting down her fork. Kyungsoo glanced at the others before suggesting, “You should have some more, Hana. You’re looking thinner than usual today.”

“She hasn’t been eating dinner for the last two nights,” Mrs. Park whispered.

Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows, “What? Hana, are you serious?”

“I don’t have an appetite lately,” Hana quietly replies, hugging the cushion on her lap a little tighter. Sehun notices and puts a comforting hand on top of hers, squeezing it while scolding the older, “Hey, don’t talk to her like that, Chanyeol hyung!”

Suho leans forward, “Do you wanna go out today, Hana? The new water park just opened up for the summer so we can take you there.”

“Or do you wanna go eat some pasta? I found this new restaurant that I think you’d like!” Kai eagerly suggests.

Kyungsoo taps his bottom lip in thought, “I read an article about a new smoothie place down the street, too. We can take you there afterwards."

Hana abruptly stands up and everyone stares at her in surprise. She bites her bottom lip (a new habit that she’s acquired) and fiddles her with fingers for a second, “I think I should just go up to my room. You guys should go now.”

She heads for the staircase but Chanyeol stands up and grabs her wrist. Without turning back to look at him, she listens when he says, “Hana, you can’t keep living like this.”

“I know,” The girl whispers, feeling tears begin to well up in her eyes.