— All of My Life by Park Won

"In 2018, more than 2017, I hope everyone could be happier, I hope there aren't going to be painful and bad happenings...and in 2018, let's run together once again."

"Happy New Year. I love you the most in the world."

2018

"Jungkook eodiseo?" Namjoon was doing his usual headcount when he realised his group was short of one. "Molla, is he with Eunha?" Jimin searched around as well, taking his phone intending to send a text to Eunha. "Yah, Yeochin's performing right now," Yoongi signalled to the television in their dressing room. True enough, the Fingertip performance was on and the girls' performance was live and not pre-recorded.

"If he's not with Eunha, then where the hell is he?" Taehyung was annoyed by the younger one's deceptive actions lately.

"Yerim..." Jungkook sat next to the girl by the corridors. "He's in a better place now. I'm sure he's happier up there," Jungkook endearingly looked at her while she was crying.

"I know, oppa," she sniffled. "But I'm just so angry at Sooyoung unnie. How could she tell me to control my emotions later when she knows how much he meant to me?! I'm so angry! I hate her!" She started throwing a fit when she remembered Sooyoung's exact words. "I mean, IU sunbaenim is going to perform such a sad song, isn't it only right that I show how heartbroken I am towards this?!"

If he was asked frankly, Jungkook would admit that he couldn't understand what the girl beside him was throwing a fit for. Sooyoung had a point, since they were idols, they should maintain their professional front no matter how much it hurts inside. He knew that best.

"Please hug me," Yerim pouted, seeing Jungkook very unresponsive with her. Without waiting for his reply, she rested her head on his shoulders and encircled his waist with her arms. "I'm so happy to have met you, oppa, you mean so much to me..." She dreamily said. Jungkook could never get used to her sudden embraces and her words. He didn't actually understand what he felt at the moment. He didn't feel moved by her words, but every time she called, he'd always come. He'd show up. He knew he was very much in love with Eunha. Still. Was it because he did it together with the girl in his arms? This was something that'd been lingering in his head for a while. He politely pushed her away from him, but the girl was adamant, and chose to rest her head on his shoulders.

"Good work everyone, thank you!"

The GFRIEND girls thanked and greeted the staff as they got off the stage. The girls were all walking back to their dressing room, Sowon at the front and Eunha at the very end.

"Oh annyeong!" Yerin greeted the WannaOne members who were walking towards them, heading out of the backstage area. Daniel high-fived Yerin when he passed by her, the girl who got him together with Jihyo - her good friend. At the back, Eunha noticed the weird stares some of the guys gave her. Like something was not right. She cocked her head to the side, still looking at them, wondering why.

"Eunha-ssi," Seongwu stopped her, making both groups stop as well. "I've been meaning to give you this," he looked behind him briefly, before pulling out an envelope from his hands. Eunha was initially confused, but she got the message and a small smile appeared on her face. "Kumawo, Seongwu-nim," she bowed and was going to continue walking, when she realised that the girls were stopped in their tracks in front of her.

"Kaja, why are we stopping here?" She wondered out loud, looking at her girls first, before her eyes followed the direction where they were all looking, displeased.

That was when her eyes landed on her man, with the arms of the girl, she still held so much anger towards, around him. And he returned her gaze as she stared blankly at him, the disappointment and sadness became evident on her face.

"Kaja," she monotonously said, blinking away her tears and headed into their dressing room first, leaving behind the mixture of pitiful and disbelief gazes that were on her.

Just like letters on the sand,

where waves were,

I feel you’ll disappear,

to a far off place.

I always miss you miss you.

"It's so suffocating here..." Eunbi whispered to Eunha. They were pretending to be alright as they shared the ending stage with IU. "Keuji..." Eunha tried to smile it off but her heart and mind were in a painful state at the moment. It didn't help that they stood right next to Red Velvet - even Yerin felt a little awkward standing next to her best friend. Meanwhile, Yerim was creating a scene at the side, because hearing IU's soulful singing overwhelmed her with sadness from her close sunbaenim's passing. While all the other girls flocked around her, to comfort her, the GFRIEND girls internally rolled their eyes at it. They understood her sadness, but they couldn't brush off the anger and betrayal they felt from the recent happenings where she was caught intimately holding Eunha's man. And while the true victim was quietly and painfully holding back her tears, the instigator was openly creating a pity party for herself. Not only the GFRIEND girls, but even Sooyoung couldn't bear to entertain it.

In my diary,

all the words,

I can’t show them all to you.

It’s that I love you.

//

Message

Joy Unnie

Eunha, annyeong, it’s Sooyoung unnie. Yerin told me what happened during GDA earlier, and it was Yerim who called for Jungkook. Hope this helps you. Take care of yourself, arraseo?

"Eunha, why are you picking on your food?" Jung Omma questioned her daughter's troubled actions while they were having their Chuseok dinner together. It's been a year since she came back to the country, and she wished she was in a better mood too. "You've been at it since just now. You're getting too skinny, you need to eat properly, maknae." Not wanting to worry her family, Eunha forced a smile and tried to eat more convincingly and sincerely.

Ever since the incident at GDA, Jungkook had been trying to contact her but she didn't respond. She had to be away from him to properly let herself feel fully on this. She knew she was still feeling hurt and if Jungkook managed to get through her, she would easily let go of this because of how much she loved him. This is the second time Yerim came in to the picture, as if the first time wasn't drastic enough. She still gets random pangs of hurt in her heart when she looks at Jungkook as she gets reminded of how much she cried the night she tried to end things off with him. But he kept coming back and she caved in. Because she loved him.

"My Eunhasu," her mother called out for her when she was going to head to bed. She hummed in response and went over to where Jung Omma was making tea for herself in the kitchen. "Are you coping well?" She asked, trying to mask her worry with a smile.

"Eung, omma. Waegurae?" Eunha smoothly lied. She couldn't let her worry. Even though the pain that's starting to build in her made her feel like death. She could never let her mother worry for her. Because she didn't know how to tell the woman who gave her life that she didn't want it no more.

"You're lucky that I'm still awake, or you'd be waiting out in the cold if I wasn't. These kids sleep like logs, uri Eunha especially."

"Kamsahanmida, Jung Omma. I'm sorry to arrive so late into the night. There weren't any earlier flight timings."

"Kwencana... You better rest up, the flight must've been tiring. I'll set up some blankets on the floor for you in Eunha's room."

Eunha stirred in her sleep when she heard voices and rustlings around in her room. The rustling soon stopped, but she was jolted awake by the sound of her room door closing. She stared blankly at the darkness of her ceiling, before her eyes diverted to a broad figure that was crouching near her bed.

"Oppa, don't disturb me, I'm very tired tonight..." She mumbled sleepily before turning to face away from her brother – or so she thought. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

She was greeted with silence and a small chuckle. She was almost falling into a deep slumber, when she was startled awake again by her bed moving and a presence lying next to her. "Oppa?"

A pair of arms s its way around her body and wrapped her little figure in its embrace. And then the scent hit her. His scent. Her body froze for a moment, before she braved herself to turn around and look behind her. Right next to her, holding her in his arms, was Jeon Jungkook in all of his glory. His eyes were closed, as if to intentionally ignore the look he knew she'd give him when she turned.

Eunha grumbled when she fully grasped the whole situation, and pushed herself away forcefully from him to create a distance. She was still mad at him, and another reason why she was back home was to be out of his reach. Though deep in her heart, she felt slightly touched that he came all the way to her family home, from Jeju. He did inform her on his family trip to Jeju before he departed, but she remained unresponsive then.

Jungkook opened his eyes and stared at her frail figure that was now lying away from him, with her back facing him. He smiled in amusement, and moved closer to fill in the distance she created. He spooned her once again, this time his arms wrapped tighter so that she wouldn't be able to escape easily.

"Jungkook, jinjja..."

"Mianhae." He whispered into her ears, making her shiver at the close contact.

"I really love you and only you, Jung Eunha. Please forgive me."

//

All of my life,

you are all of my life.

When I look at myself,

I changed so much after meeting you.

I beg