“The nights are still bright without you.
And autumn, too, will turn into spring.
But why am I like this?
What do I live for?”

— The Benefits of Heartbreak by Epik High (feat. AKMU Suhyun)

**

2017

“Eunha,” the producer called out for her through the sound system, from outside the recording studio. “I need you to sound a little more bubbly. Right now, I can only hear the sadness feeling from your voice.”

“Ne, pdnim,” she responded and gave her recording a go again. They finalising the song for their repackaged album, and Eunha was the last to finish up the background vocals of the melancholic song. When she finished, the pdnim commended her improving voice and thanked her for her efforts. She did the same and left the studio to head back home for a night’s rest before the practice began for their next comeback. In the car, she sat silently next to her manager as he drove.

“Jung…” Junghyun called out for her, watching as she stared out of the car’s window quietly. “Are you okay?” She smiled, as she internally asked herself that.

Out of all the songs she recorded for GFRIEND, somehow this upcoming one left her feeling very down and very deep in her emotions. She was happy, she was contented with where she is currently with her group and her relationship. But as she sang every line of Summer Rain, an ominous and depressing feeling began building in her.

“I don’t know why oppa,” she replied. “The new song’s lyrics is affecting me in a certain way.”

“Is everything alright? Are you and Jungkook okay?”

Upon hearing his question, Eunha didn’t reply. It was okay, very okay in fact. She had just seen him at his dorm, before she went for recording, and she had a good meal with the other guys as well. As the months passed, the time spent with him decreased due to both of their groups’ busy schedules, especially for him. While she was trying to make the most of all of the time they did have together, she couldn’t deny the fact that an unknown fear was building up in her.

Like these good times were nearing its end. 

If the shiny season passes,
will you keep soaking me forever?
So beautiful, like a stream of rain water,
our crystal clear story.

//

iMessage

Mine

Come back healthy and safe from Japan. I love you, I can’t wait to see you.

Jungkook groggily opened his eyes when he heard the sound of his phone, and the hangover pain hit his head immediately. It was the morning after the Mnet Asian Music Awards and he drank a little too much at the afterparty that was held afterwards. He groaned and tried to get some more rest before anyone came in to get him out of his slumber.

“Yah Jungkook, wake up we gotta leave now,” Namjoon’s voice filled the room immediately after he entered. He was fumbling around, trying to find the light switch to brighten up the dark room.

“Jeon Jungkook, wake up now.” Seokjin followed behind Namjoon, entering the maknae’s room.

“Ah, here it is,” Namjoon thought out loud when he finally got to flick the light switches. Immediately after the room’s darkness was removed, and both of the older guys fully registered the scene right before them, they wished they didn’t witness what they unfortunately saw.

“How the did you end up sleeping with her, Jeon Jungkook?!” Yoongi’s voice boomed across the whole private waiting lounge the group was gathered at, waiting for their flight back to Korea. Jungkook remained quiet and had his head in his hands, still trying to recover from the hangover that was now mixed with immense guilt.

Earlier, while the two older guys were stunned over witnessing the scene, the other members also unknowingly wandered into their maknae’s room, and they all saw the same thing. Stage outfits from the previous night scattered all over the floor, and their maknae in bed with another girl. Red Velvet’s Yeri.

Jungkook was silent throughout the journey to the airport, not wanting to provoke his hyungs who were evidently furious over his drunken mistake. After waking him up and sending the other girl out of the room, the boys didn’t speak a word to their maknae. The boys all loved Eunha and treated her preciously like a little sister, so having to witness their maknae screw up heavily disappointed them.

“I was drunk, hyung. I didn’t even remember a thing from last night,” his replied raspily. He heard Yoongi scoff, not continuing the confrontation further, and from his peripheral sight, he saw the other guys shake their heads in disbelief. To them, Jungkook may not have been fully in control of his actions due to his intoxication, but if he loved Eunha enough, he wouldn’t have went through with the deed. Till the moment they had to board their flight, the group remained silent, all in their thoughts wondering how this situation would unfold later and feeling extremely apologetic to the girl at home eagerly waiting for their maknae.

“You better come clean with her, or I will.” Taehyung bitterly told the youngest before he went off, not waiting for the other.

Sadly, Jungkook never went to see Eunha when he landed, as he initially promised. He couldn’t bring himself to tell her. He couldn’t bring himself to break her heart with the unfortunate truth.

iMessage

Mine

Are you back? I hope to see you soon.

iMessage

Mine

I miss you so much. When can I see you?

iMessage

Mine

Jungkook, what’s going on? Are you okay?

iMessage

Mine

I love you.

//

“I can’t believe he’s gone,” Jimin solemnly spoke, when they were in the car on the way back from SHINee Jonghyun’s memorial. The others just stared out of the car, feeling extremely sad at the sudden loss of such a treasured talent. Jungkook, too, was feeling the sadness of losing an idol he respected, but was brought out of his thoughts by the buzz from his phone.

Message

Unknown Number

Hi Jungkook, it’s Yeri. If you’re free tonight, can we meet?

"Are you alright?" Jungkook broke the silence when he entered the van that was waiting outside their dorm area. He was alone in the van with Yeri, her manager stood outside smoking while on his phone.

"I'm just so devastated by what's happened. I still can't believe it," Yeri sadly answered, her eyes already filled with tears when she looked at him. Before the man had any time to react, she lunged into his arms and sobbed in his embrace. Not knowing how to push her away, Jungkook awkwardly remained still, letting her let out all her emotions in his embrace.

After a few minutes, Yeri has finally stopped crying but she remained in Jungkook's arms. Sensing that she's slightly in a better state than before, Jungkook gently pushed her away from his body.

"Yerim, I-" His words were interrupted by her leaning forward to place a kiss on his lips, leaving him stunned.

"I like you Jungkook. I like you a lot. I've always had a crush on you, but the other night felt so magical to me." Her eyes confidently stared at his, as she confessed. "I'm glad you were my first. I really like you Jungkook."

"Yerim, no. I-"

"Sorry to interrupt you kids, but we gotta go, Yerim. Like now," her manager bust open the door on Jungkook's side. Jungkook didn't have any time to think, and before he knew it, he was watching her van drive away and out of sight. His mind, confused. His heart, heavier.

//

I can hear it from anywhere,

if I open my ears.

When I open my ears,

to the trust you have in me.

"Oh, yeppuda!" Yoongi excitedly said when he saw GFRIEND's name light up amongst the audience. It was the start of the annual SBS Gayo Festival and the girls' name had just been called out. "Jinjja yeppuda, uri GFRIEND," Hoseok added, making Jimin turn around to subtly remind him to be discrete with his reactions. When the song continued on to Eunha's part, Jungkook couldn't help but feel devastated by how much he'd missed the sound of her little voice. Her sweet, sweet voice.

Like your eyes, that twinkle,

I’ll tell you a precious story.

As they walked together towards the front of the stage, Eunha sadly took a short glimpse of her lover's back. She noticed that he'd lost a little weight, and his hair was shorter. Her heart wrenched at thought of missing him so much, and wondered what was going on with him, and why he hadn't contacted her for almost a month since he left for Japan.

Yerin, on the other hand, dreaded reaching to their standing point as she saw who she'd have to stand next to - Song Mino. She hadn't spoken to him ever since she confessed to him, after their last filming together a while back. As if it didn't embarrass her enough that she accidentally blurted out her true feelings towards him, it made her feel worst that he totally shunned her out right after. He was a strong pillar in her life, someone she heavily relied on for companionship, and him pulling himself away from her broke her heart. She'd rather he just rejected her from that moment. It'll hurt less.

"Jung!" Hoseok called Eunha when she was walking back to her waiting room from the toilet. The show had just ended, and she wanted to relief herself first, before they went on the long journey back to their dorm. "Oppa! It's been a while!"

Hoseok squeezed her into a hug and pulled away to look at the younger girl. "Oooooh, your hair is getting longer now," he played with the ends of her hair while he . "Finally, right?" Eunha laughed. Since their rooms were nearby, they walked back together, asking each other the usual questions and updates.

"Oppa, is Jungkook inside?"

"Yeah, wae?"

"Ani... I haven't seen him for a while... We haven't even talked since you guys came back from Japan. I thought of seeing him before we leave, at least." She sadly told the older one. "I tried to find him around tonight, but I couldn’t seem to find him. I’m not sure what’s wrong… Did I do something wrong?"

Hoseok was shocked when he heard that, and a part of him was furious at Jungkook when he connected the dots. Jungkook had been avoiding Eunha, which means that the girl in front of him was clueless about the Japan incident.

"He's resting inside," Hoseok lied to avoid hurting the girl even further. "I'll tell him that you're looking for him, okay?" Eunha sighed in relief and thanked him, giving him a small hug before heading into her room.

"Yah, Jeon Jungkook!"

Jungkook was in a daze when Hoseok’s loud voice startled him. Hoseok entered their room, fuming and glaring at the younger one, who was confused over his sudden outburst. “Whoa, hyung,” Jimin held Hoseok back. The other boys stood up too, preparing to break a fight if it started. “Hoseok, what’s going on?” Namjoon stepped in, taking on the mediator role.

“What’s going on is that I saw Eunha just now,” his eyes remained hard on the maknae. “And she was asking for you. She asked if she did something wrong, Jungkook. You left that girl clueless and hanging, when all she’s been doing is worry about you! You haven’t told her the truth, have you?” Jungkook’s silence towards Hoseok’s anger increased the tension in the room, as the other boys began feeling a mixture of anger and disappointment towards their maknae.

Taking Hoseok’s confrontation as a sign, Jungkook didn’t retaliate and immediately headed towards the door, intending to finally come clean with the poor girl. But as he swung the door open, someone else greeted him. The last person he wanted to see. “Yerim, this isn’t a good time.” Jungkook hastily mumbled, hurriedly going back into the room again to gather his things to bring them along with him.

“What the is she doing here?” Yoongi cursed out loud, offending the girl who entered their room, following behind Jungkook and leaving the door ajar. “What do you mean, oppa? I’m here to see Jungkook oppa,” the girl meekly replied, surprised by the hostility she was receiving. “Yerim!” Jungkook couldn’t stand her at that moment. “Please! Just leave.”

“Oppa, how could you be so har