a/n: bringing back the first ever wenrene story i've completed and uploaded last september 2019. this has been rewritten, although the storyline remains. for those of you who have read this in the past, you can skip on this one :) also, if you haven't noticed, the chapter titles in this collection all begin with the letter "i" and are actually song lyrics. for a better visualization, imagine wenseulrene during their "happiness" era for this story

if you’re wondering if i want you to

confessing, for son seungwan, just seems like the worst idea ever

(camp-AU)

***

Son Seungwan is a model student.

She obediently abides by the rules, has been used as an example by her teachers for students to follow, and is practically a saint in the making in her own right. Understandably, it shouldn’t be difficult for her to maintain her model student persona at Camp Level Up, but as the leaves crunch underneath each passing stride, Seungwan can feel her scot-free record cracking, the lines of the cracks branching out, growing and intersecting, until the damage becomes undeniably prominent at a single glance.

Seungwan’s heartbeat triples its tempo, her pulse ringing in her ears. She hates being unable to distinguish the area they are in, all of the trees bearing striking similarities at nightfall. Pulling a U-turn of this ridiculous escapade would be the Seungwan-esque thing to do, whose morals would have overruled in any given situation. But as of the moment, that version of Seungwan ceases to exist, exchanged by this version of Son Seungwan who becomes absolutely putty in the hands of a brazen brunette.

“Should we be here?” Seungwan asks the older girl a few feet ahead of her, her companion taking the lead of their trek into the woods. It’s a rhetorical question, both knowing that they shouldn’t be here. Seungwan has been hoping to knock some guilt into her friend. They continue to shuffle away from the camp grounds, the bonfire getting smaller and smaller as Seungwan looks back, no longer seeing the bright orange hue of the fire. The fear of getting lost and getting caught by their camp counselors activates her anxiety.

“I don’t know.” Joohyun eventually answers. She shrugs calmly.

Or at least it’s what Seungwan thinks she does.

The only source of light in their dangerous adventure is the moon hovering above them, the presence of the trees making it impossible for the natural light to spill evenly all over the ground, sifting it to random areas of the woods like miniature spotlights. Resident safe-kid Seungwan would have brought her flashlight along with them if it wasn’t for Joohyun’s insistence that they venture into the darkness immediately to ensure neither of their counselors could catch them escaping from tonight’s activity.

“I’ve never been to this trail during the dark,” Joohyun then admits, turning halfway to peer at a visibly worried Seungwan. The older girl smiles at her reassuringly, a glint of excitement sparkling her dark brown orbs.

That’s all it takes for Seungwan to be whipped beyond help.

When she had first laid eyes on Bae Joohyun, Seungwan knew she was done for. She had been a freshman then, moving into a new neighborhood due to her father’s work before her classes officially began. Her sister was in Canada for university which left Seungwan to spend the summer by herself without knowing anyone else in this district in Seoul. She would entertain herself by doing what any other bored teenager would do, stay holed up in her room, surf the internet for cat videos and binge-watch a shopping list of Netflix series until the crack of dawn.

And the opportune moment came as she met Bae Joohyun.

Seungwan’s mother had dragged her out of her room and ordered her to trim the bushes at their front lawn, demanding that she get her much needed sunlight instead of confining herself under the covers in the darkness of her unlit bedroom. Seungwan had been grouchy about being coaxed into the brightness of the outside world. In hindsight, it was the best order her mother has ever given her. She had been done with her task and was about to return inside from taking out the trash when the earth slowed the tilt on its axis, presenting a dramatic introduction of the girl who would soon steal her heart.

The Bae’s front door opens, a hymn of joyous praise blaring harmoniously from the living room and into Seungwan’s eardrums. A ray of sunshine had been casted upon the doorway as a girl with luscious raven hair cascading past her smooth shoulders emerged from the home, clothed in an athletic ensemble of black leggings that hugged her toned legs and a pink sleeveless tee that hung loose around her frame. She had raised her hands up to gather her hair into a messy ponytail, exposing the fine porcelain skin on her neck, simultaneously flashing the flesh on her belly at her tee moving upwards. Her mesmerizing eyes had fallen on Seungwan, and it’s right then and there that the younger girl’s feet had lost their coordination.

She had missed the curb, her foot colliding to the edge and she stumbled ungracefully into her front lawn. It was her grand entrance in Joohyun’s life, the girl laughing so obnoxiously loud that other neighbors began to curiously check on the awkward kid who has half her body stuffed into the bushes. Face-planting had stung, but it was the most fulfilling achievement in Son Seungwan’s sixteen years, being the sole reason for bringing out the laughter from Joohyun. It was a thousand times better than any academic award she had received.

Seungwan thought she had won in life. Her bruises and scratches were indeed worth it.

The two rebelling campers pad around the area in silence, the occasional singing of crickets slicing through their silent conversation. The trail Joohyun has chosen isn’t one to be followed during the night, however, it’s the quickest path to take towards the lake, saving them twenty minutes of trekking. Although, it’s not guaranteed to be the safest without daylight. Seungwan couldn’t detect any of the markers leading to the lake which would have been recognizable at the sun’s illumination.

She abruptly stops, breaching the pace of her footsteps.

Seungwan hears what seem to be children laughing in the distance, an unusual sound since Camp Level Up doesn’t accept kids below sixteen. The hairs on her arms stand on their ends. “Let’s go back,” she announces nervously. She’s has no wishes to be acquainted with the campers of the afterlife. She prefers campers to be alive and breathing, and most importantly, human.

“Oh, Seungwan, don’t be a baby,” Joohyun backtracks to where Seungwan stands frozen in fear, clasping the younger’s hand in hers. Even the smallest contact of skin sends electric waves coursing through Seungwan’s body, doubling the prickling of the goosebumps on her arms. She obviously relents, letting Joohyun take her into a wide clearing where a bunch of middle-schooler campers, like real live ones to Seungwan’s relief, are having the time of their lives running around by the perimeter of a lake.

“See, even the middle school kids are here.” Joohyun gestures at them.

A short-haired girl, whose boisterous laugh has been the most distinct out of the kids tackles another girl she calls Jennie, and they both get drenched as they collapse into the water. They’re pretty cute, Seungwan thinks, but she watches them in confusion because, since when did their camp start accepting middle schoolers? Why is she only seeing them now?

“Don’t you belong to Camp Level Up?”

And that’s when Seungwan realizes that, oh gosh, they’ve gotten lost in the midst of their journey and have tumbled into another camp’s territory. She and Joohyun turn to a male junior counselor, about Joohyun’s age (a year older than Seungwan, making him eighteen) and his eyes shift from projecting an authoritative intimidation to a look of pure amazement upon seeing her neighbor. He blinks, multiple times, as if he couldn’t believe he’s within in the vicinity of someone so utterly ethereal.

Seungwan wants to kick him in the nut.

“And so what if we are?” Joohyun challenges him, somewhat innocently, her velvety voice wrapping him around her finger. Bae Joohyun may hold the appearance of a demure and an innocent beauty in the eyes of others, but she’s a sly little Slytherin who knows how to use specific situations to her advantage. Meanwhile, Seungwan had gotten banned for a month from a restaurant for taking too many refills.

Joohyun juts out her lower lip, ever so slightly that Seungwan melts along with the recently mute counselor. “I promise we won’t cause you any trouble. Pleeease.” She draws the last word for seconds, gently placing a pleading hand on his limp arm.

The counselor’s mouth twitches at the touch, his Adam’s apple bobbing, eyeing Joohyun’s hand in surprise that a beautiful stranger has laid her precious hand on him.

Seungwan fiddles with the sleeve of her shirt.

“O—okay, just.” He stammers dumbly. “Just don’t. Yeah.”

A squeal of thanks erupts from Joohyun and a formal, less charming one from Seungwan. The male counselor stands in a daze, unable to recuperate from the brief interaction with one of the most gorgeous girls who has roamed the earth, as the two neighbors hightail away from him, hand in hand.

They trudge by the edge of the lake, talking among themselves and dodging the wet kids. Something Seungwan says makes Joohyun laugh, her eyes adorably squinting in mirth and she squeezes the younger’s hand in hers. Seungwan glimpses at their linked hands, never quite getting used to how their fingers have become intertwined without her realization. She must have harvested years’ worth of luck to be given the opportunity. Once they had enough of sightseeing (their legs were giving out from the constant walking), they settle on a lonely stump, sitting side by side to face the serene body of water.

In the night sky, the moon is round and glowing, reflecting a distorted potato chip onto the midnight blue waters, subsequently shedding adequate illumination in their area.

Seungwan subtly side-eyes Joohyun, admiring the glow she is giving out as well. Her facial features are relaxed, lips faintly tilting in a manner that didn’t require a lot of effort for a smile and her eyes are gazing at the view so peacefully. So content. Her hands have no plans of letting go of Seungwan’s either, resting their joined hands on the older girl’s lap with her thumb tracing imperceptible patterns on Seungwan’s backhand. This intimate moment causes the younger girl to be in distress, and her heart body slams itself to her chest.

She couldn’t take it. She has to deter the mood elsewhere before Joohyun could discern her sudden discomfort.

“So what’s the score between you and that guy?” Okay, this is a dumb diversion, and Seungwan regrets it as soon as the words have left . She could have said anything, there are a million of other things she could say, but her stupid brain has racked up a topic that was the least ideal.

“Who?”

Crap. Seungwan has done this to herself. She’s not too thrilled of having to say his name out loud. She mutters lowly, albeit casually. “Park Bogum.”

Joohyun is now playing with Seungwan’s hand, her free hand joining in on caressing Seungwan’s skin. Her eyes are downcast, almost drowning in her weird fascination with the younger girl’s left hand. “It was just for the program.” She chuckles before smiling.

Their camp had a small assembly held earlier in the morning. Joohyun and Bogum had been selected to be the emcees after a round of voting, most of the voters quoting the chemistry they shared as hosts in a program they had also emceed for at school. The assembly had gone without a hitch because of their incredible performance. Seungwan was proud of her friend, but she secretly hopes, prays even, that the actual chemistry they share is only their class.

“But what he said was pretty sweet, wasn’t it?” Seungwan goads in a word vomit fashion. What is doing? Why can’t she stop? She desperately wants to er punch herself in the face if it means she could shut herself up. She’s asking to let herself be stabbed in the chest, really, straight to her heart, puncturing its veins and digging her own grave to be buried in.

“He was only following the script.” Joohyun shrugs, training her eyes onto the water with a trace of boredom. Seungwan couldn’t decrypt the vagueness of her reply. Her neighbor isn’t one to disclose her personal matters. Seungwan doesn’t remember Joohyun uttering a boy’s name in interest despite the long list of admirers she has, which would put ticketing lines to the theater to shame. It doesn’t mean she’s gay too, since she hasn’t reciprocated any advances from the girls at school.

Generally speaking, Bae Joohyun has zero interest in dating.

For now, Seungwan supposes.

“You guys held hands.”

Another word vomit, Seungwan. Nice.

“His hand got a little clammy.”

The comment causes Seungwan to be self-conscious, leering at the perspiration developing in her own. “My hand’s getting sweaty,” she confesses quietly, moving to retract her hand but Joohyun only pulls it closer.

“I don’t mind if it’s you.” Her neighbor squeezes her hand comfortingly and squeezes Seungwan’s heart in the process.

They lapse into minutes of appreciating mother nature, with Seungwan peering at Joohyun every now and then, unable to fully appreciate the beauty of the lake. The only beauty her frazzled brain is grappling is of Joohyun’s. She couldn’t repress her feelings. Her childish crush on the older girl is hopeless.

Why is she so hung up on someone who clearly wants nothing past a platonic relationship with her? Why is it so difficult to let it all go? She would have to get rid of it soon before her growing emotions constrict the air out of her and she suffocates from the unrequited feelings, dying from her own stupidity. Dying alone. Or probably with cats.

The dying with cats seem plausible.

“What?” Joohyun jars her from her thoughts, her head cocking questioningly.

Seungwan wheezes for a second. She has been distractedly staring into Joohyun’s pretty face and has been caught red-handed. She internally panics, forcing her brain to formulate a more convincing diversion this time. “There’s a, uh, a bit of dirt on your cheek.” Great job, brain! No dirt on her face but she can’t see it anyway. Seungwan gives herself a congratulatory pat on the back for functioning like an actual human for once.

“Can you get it for me? I can’t see it.” Joohyun’s hand blindly searches around her face to demonstrate her predicament.

No bubbles inside Seungwan’s mouth, but this is Joohyun we’re talking about and what Joohyun wants, Seungwan would be more than ready to give. Like her heart. But then she would be dead, so.

“Alright, hold still,” Seungwan throws the words casually to mask her nervousness. Her hands creep to Joohyun’s face, palming her cheek. Her thumb grazes at her flawless skin, an absence of blemishes, and miraculously, she does find some dirt below her eye. She gently cleans it off, focusing on giving gentle dabs on her neighbor’s face, but in the middle of it, she has managed to bring herself closer. She notices this as Joohyun’s face has totally invaded her field of vision, the older girl’s eyes bearing into her soul when Seungwan bravely looks at them. And their closeness must have made her lose her sanity because she finds the barest hint of wanting she thought she saw from those hypnotizing eyes.

Son Seungwan you’re seriously going crazy!

Seungwan hurriedly backs from the skin-to-skin contact. She flings her arms to the safety of her sides, stubbornly refusing to meet Joohyun’s gaze. “All gone.” She clenches her teeth together. Her heart somehow couldn’t placate itself despite their renewed space.

In her periphery, Joohyun blinks, her best friend’s expression unreadable. “Thanks.”

The hammering of Seungwan’s heart pounds into her ear. It beats and beats, ramming itself onto her chest, begging to be released from its captivity. She’s losing the inner battle to gain control and words are crawling up , climbing for its desperate escape. She hurries to confine it. “So do you want to head back?” She suddenly asks, standing and dusting off her shorts as an excuse to avert her focus.

“Do you..?” Joohyun lifts her head at her, looking a tad gloomy.

Seungwan must be bursting out their fun by asking that, deflating at the disappointment in her friend’s voice. How is she going to get over her feelings if she repeatedly goes soft for her neighbor? Is she going to live the rest of her life hopelessly pining over Joohyun? How pathetic can she get?

“I don’t know, um, depends if you still want to stay?” Jesus, is there any way to turn off her rambling mouth? Or take out her batteries? Can she have her manual so she could search on how to find her emergency power switch? “I mean, Seulgi might kill me for abandoning her while on patrol duty but like, we can still, you know, stay here by the lake, by that noisy Lisa kid, if—if you want to that is.”

She doesn’t bother to gauge for Joohyun’s reaction, she knows how much of a bumbling idiot she is. Seungwan is a hundred percent sure Joohyun is currently second-guessing their friendship. Probably thinking she could use a functioning friend who didn’t lag as often as Seungwan did, who most likely is a factory defect.

Then, Joohyun giggles.

“Cute.”

“What?” Seungwan is uncertain on the proper procedure when Bae Joohyun calls you cute. It doesn’t happen on a daily basis. Maybe there’s a step by step instruction in her manual. She really has to get her hands on it, wherever it is. She couldn’t help wonder if God had been in a rush to create her. A last-minute assignment perhaps? Does God procrastinate?

Joohyun snaps her fingers in front of her, startling her from her ruminations. Seungwan gives her an embarrassed smile for spacing out. Thank heavens mind-reading doesn’t truly exist. Therapists would have a field day with her.

“I said let’s go then. I don’t want Seulgi to kill you, I still kinda need you until camp ends.” Joohyun rises from the stump then intertwines their fingers again. Seungwan guesses she doesn’t mind holding onto her damp gangly hand. Her level of comfort with her must have an infinite limit.

“And when it does end, you’re fine with having me disposed?” they begin their journey back to their camp ground, hopefully finding their way before the evening roll call. Seulgi had covered her last time, conjuring a lame story of Seungwan having a bad case of diarrhea.

Joohyun halts swinging their hands to send her a quirk of her eyebrow. “Hey, I didn’t force you to come with me.”

“