Kyungsoo spent the following day cooped up in his room, lying on his bed, trying to trace his future or rather what he experienced already as a past.

If he wasn’t trying to write down everything he remembered in case he would forget them, Kyungsoo was wondering about what happened to the future he left behind.

Did he cease to exist there when he returned to the past? If he did, then what happened to Chanyeol and his children? Kyungsoo couldn’t bear the idea of leaving them for a few days for a conference trip, least to say for what seemed to be a permanent reality.

Kyungsoo trusted the future Chanyeol with the kids and that he’d take care of them well even without Kyungsoo, but it still pained him to think that he couldn’t be there with them especially right when they probably needed him the most.

Kyungsoo worried to end until he came up with another possible theory that perhaps the future never existed and that all he experienced was maybe just a figment of his imagination or perhaps an extremely vivid dream. Maybe, Kyungsoo really was going insane to have such experiences because other than his own memories, he had no way of proving that the future he thought he experienced was indeed real.

The thought that the future might not be real actually left Kyungsoo feeling somewhat calm albeit regretful. If the future really did not exist, he was more at peace to know that he was not leaving his loved ones behind, although it was regretful that it meant Kyungsoo never achieved the ideal life he dreamed of.

Whichever it was, Kyungsoo had no way of knowing and certainly, no way of ever returning there. This past was his present now. This was the life he would lead for a second time.

**

Two days after Kyungsoo ended up here in the past, he was still wallowing around at home in despair when Baekhyun come to visit in the afternoon.

Kyungsoo’s father had gone to work, leaving him alone at home. When Kyungsoo heard the door knock, he knew it would be Baekhyun because his father had the keys and never knocked.

Apart from that, those two were the only people Kyungsoo ever talked to anymore after the accident last winter. There was no one else who would even come to visit at home.

Kyungsoo invited Baekhyun inside and offered him warm instant coffee and some dried crackers before moving to Kyungsoo’s room so they could hang out together.

It was a Friday afternoon. Baekhyun only had classes in the morning and had come to Kyungsoo’s place right after.

Kyungsoo no longer went out partying or clubbing on the weekend since Jongdae’s death. Now, he spent his free time at home studying or just lounging around in his room. Baekhyun seemed to have followed suit too and often came over to Kyungsoo’s place to hang out at, instead of spending time with each other in some loud club in Hongdae.

Baekhyun laid down on Kyungsoo’s bed with one foot propped up on his knee, while Kyungsoo was searching through the files on his computer to try and recall what the 2016 Kyungsoo had been up to at this time. He needed to catch up with his past self if he was going to be leading this life now.

“Hey, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun called out, scrolling through social media on his phone, “Why haven’t you replied to my texts in two days? You didn’t even see the texts I sent you. Did you lose your phone or what?”

“I forgot the password actually,” Kyungsoo admitted, looking over his shoulder at Baekhyun who was lazing around on his bed.

“Huh?” Baekhyun was confused, “Did you just wake up one morning and forgot the password to your phone?”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo felt somewhat challenged in a humiliating manner.

“Are you for real?” Baekhyun looked annoyed as he lifted himself up from Kyungsoo’s bed and sat up, demanding, “Give me your phone. I’ll unlock it for you. You should have just told me you forgot it in that case. Did you forget that I know the password too?”

“Well…I…uh didn’t want to bother you,” Kyungsoo came up with an excuse, clearly forgetting how close he and Baekhyun used to be, up to a point where they basically knew each other’s login credentials on most devices.

“You’re not bothering me, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun assured, although still slightly annoyed.

Kyungsoo dived under his desk for his phone, which he had left charging and placed on top of his computer processor case. He then handed it to Baekhyun who shook his head and then proceeded to key in the password correctly.

“Here you go,” Baekhyun said as he handed Kyungsoo’s phone back. Baekhyun then moved to Kyungsoo’s desk and retrieved a pen and some paper lying around to write down the password for Kyungsoo to refer to., “You’re lucky I know your password. Otherwise, you’d probably have to go back to the store and pay money to get the technicians to unlock it for you.”

“Yeah, thank you. I really owe you for this one,” Kyungsoo gleefully replied, somewhat glad that he was at least able to solve a small problem that arose from being thrown back into the past.

“Whatever, just try to remember it next time,” Baekhyun advised, moving back to Kyungsoo’s bed.

With the access back to his phone, Kyungsoo was able to refer to his daily schedule and planner, which was extremely helpful for him to reintegrate back into this life. After all, if he was going to be reliving his past, he at least wanted to do it right.

While Kyungsoo was going through his phone after having it unlocked, Baekhyun decided to ask the question that had been on his mind for a few days now.

Baekhyun was lying down on Kyungsoo’s bed with his head on the pillow as he stared up at the white plaster ceiling when he spoke, “So, why was it that you wanted to see Chanyeol? You seem pretty in a rush at the time. What’s up with that?”

“Oh…that,” Kyungsoo lifted his attention from his phone and towards Baekhyun as he searched for something logical to say, “I wanted to talk to him to uh…apologize to him for you know what happened. I still felt that I needed to do it and he’s a pretty hard man to look for so as you saw, I was in a rush because I didn’t want to lose him again.”

Baekhyun sighed before giving his opinion on the subject, sounding a bit heated up, “Are you still really on that whole ‘apologize to Chanyeol’ thing? How many times have I told you that no matter how much you apologize and how much you grovel at his feet, you cannot force forgiveness out of people. You did as much as you could and besides, you need to stop putting Chanyeol on this pedestal that you have to achieve his forgiveness in order to find your peace.”

Kyungsoo kept quiet, listening to every word Baekhyun told him, even with a slight worry still lingering at the back of his mind.

He probably had this conversation with Baekhyun before. He couldn’t remember the exact words Baekhyun said but it was probably something like this, Kyungsoo had a hunch.

“Sorry,” Baekhyun apologized, resting his hand on his belly, “I didn’t mean to lecture you like that. I just want the best for you. God, I sound like an old man.”