26th October 2016 and a bit of the past future

Distance of Life
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Chanyeol sighed yet again, obviously sick of Kyungsoo’s presence already, “Well, if you have nothing else to say, I’m leaving.”

Kyungsoo was rendered speechless, not knowing what else to say. He felt that he needed to say something but he just didn’t know what it would be without making him look like a total lunatic. Kyungsoo felt utterly helpless and lost.

 

Kyungsoo didn’t try to stop Chanyeol from leaving either, letting Chanyeol lightly bump into him on the way out. Kyungsoo could just imagine how much seething resentment Chanyeol had for him.

There was no way he could ever convince Chanyeol they were married with children in the future. In the different version of the year 2016, Kyungsoo had done nothing of this trying to convince Chanyeol but yet somehow everything seemed to fall in place naturally.

 

 

 

A part of Kyungsoo felt that he had made things further complicated by impulsively telling Chanyeol of the future. He regretted speaking out now. Kyungsoo thought he should have just let the flow of events take its course and fall into place, like they once had in the past of the future he came from.

But Kyungsoo had not given up yet. He was still going to keep trying and finding ways but this rushed and poorly thought out plan was certainly not going to work. He needed to come up with something better.

 

 

Needing some time to collect his thoughts and compose himself before making any further decisions, Kyungsoo found an empty bench in a secluded corner of the campus and sat there by himself.

He remembered the car crash that killed Jongdae occurring on the night of December 24th, 2015; almost a year before the time he was now in. Kyungsoo held a hand over his mouth as he recalled the tragic incident.

 

It was raining and snowing at the same time that Christmas eve night. The roads were slippery and covered with sleet. Jongdae was drunk but Kyungsoo was not as he had been the designated driver after their Christmas Eve party in conjunction with celebrating the end of their finals and graduation in the following spring.

Jongdae and Chanyeol had been classmates since freshman year. Jongdae had joined the same club Baekhyun and Kyungsoo was in, where they were all acquainted with each other. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol weren’t very close at the time, they were merely mutual friends whose social circles sometimes overlapped.

 

 

Kyungsoo had dropped off Chanyeol first that night and was on the way to Jongdae’s place when he decided that maybe going twenty kilometers over the speed limit wouldn’t be too bad so they could make it home faster.  

Unfortunately, the speed, slippery road conditions, and poor visibility led to Kyungsoo losing control of the car and unable to make a course correction which ended up in the car crashing head-on into a concrete wall divider. Kyungsoo's car was a total loss. 

 

Jongdae’s airbag did not deploy and he died almost instantly due to a severe concussion. Kyungsoo survived but he was hit by shrapnel and the force of the deploying airbag right into his chest gave him a lifelong heart injury which would be made worse through his own habits.

 

Because of the accident, Kyungsoo had to delay his entry into his postgraduate program by a semester. He had initially intended to begin graduate school in spring but had to delay it to fall because he was still in recovery, both physically and emotionally.

Out of grief, Kyungsoo did not attend his own undergraduate graduation ceremony because he could not bear to see Jongdae’s mother go up on stage to receive her deceased son’s award. On top of that, he couldn’t also bear to see Chanyeol who firmly believed that this was all Kyungsoo’s fault.

 

 

In the future, despite Kyungsoo being happily married to the man he loved with two beautiful children and working in his dream job; sometimes, Kyungsoo felt that he deserved none of this placid happiness.

Even when Chanyeol came to terms with his grief and learned that blaming Kyungsoo for Jongdae’s death was an unhealthy coping mechanism, Kyungsoo himself never did forgive himself. An unacknowledged part of him felt that he needed to be punished and needed to suffer for the pain he had caused.

 

 

Kyungsoo sighed and slouched his shoulders, still sitting on that empty bench in that isolated part of the campus as he attempted to think of what steps to take next.

Ideally, the best thing would be to return to the year 2030. If that failed and he really was stuck to repeat the past, Kyungsoo needed to remember and redo everything he did right to make sure the future of 2030 would happen again.

 

Technically coming from the future, Kyungsoo had the advantage of knowing about things that would happen but had yet to occur in the present time. He had the advantage of being an older and more experienced person in his younger body.

But yet, he could only control himself at best and not others. Kyungsoo began to worry if Chanyeol would never overcome his feelings and change his opinion about Kyungsoo, not especially after the stunt Kyungsoo pulled off by boldly telling Chanyeol about a future that did not yet exist in this timeline.

What if Kyungsoo jinxed everything and only sparked off a chain of events that would lead to him and Chanyeol never being together? Kyungsoo began to fret.

 

 

 

Realizing that he would get nothing done sitting there, Kyungsoo got up and left the university, remembering to get his father’s favorite fried chicken on the way home.

 

Kyungsoo took some time to sit down with his father and have lunch together in the kitchen of their old home.

It then hit Kyungsoo how much he missed his father, so much that he was willing to listen to his father complaining about his co-workers at his job where he worked as a car salesman. When usually, Kyungsoo would just go on his phone or look elsewhere when his father began ranting about work again.

 

 

Kyungsoo was an only child and his parents had been divorced since he was nine years old. Since then, he had been living with his father, due to Kyungsoo’s mother’s remarriage and his father’s reluctance to let him live with his stepfather.

Kyungsoo’s father, Do Choongsun, had been supportive of his studies and even helped Kyungsoo a lot through his

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oeschinen
Chapter 14 will be the final chapter!

Comments

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anamikasoo #1
Chapter 14: What a amazing story.. too good.. mind-blowing story. It's sooo beautiful.. thank you author nim for writing this amazing story.
whattalife #2
Chapter 14: Honest opinion, might as well this became a story about kyungsoo having a split personality . It's too tiring. The worst story I ever encountered about ChanSoo
Cutekyunggie-love
#3
Chapter 10: This is a gem ❤❤
anisumairah
#4
Chapter 14: this is so brilliant! 😭😭😭😭😭
uremmanida #5
this... is just AWESOME!!!!!!
esther_noyel #6
Chapter 14: Wowwww ???
Really it's great journey with you
After all the painful lives... Kyungsoo got his original lovable his own life...
Loved it... Thank you for your writings
rafcrymons
#7
Chapter 14: WOW THIS WAS ANAZING OH MY GOD?!!!!?
rafcrymons
#8
Chapter 14: WOW THIS WAS ANAZING OH MY GOD?!!!!?
Reem_mohamed
#9
Chapter 14: I didn't thought that the reason was Jongdae . I guess his l life was the right life not A life ,cause he made it better and didn't regret anything of it .you worked hard for this one author nim * applaud *
exoforever259
#10
Chapter 14: Simply awesome!!!