MINA

 

 

My first day at school was a rather vivid memory.

 

Being in a foreign country and unable to speak much of the language is quite a disadvantage. It was a struggle trying to find my way around the school. Everything was too new and sharp. I wasn’t exactly the kind to easily approach others…

 

That was when we met.

 

I could still remember the smile she had on her face when she came over. Like a guardian angel? That was how desperate I was during then. She was friendly and talked often about a friend no matter what our conversation was about. Tzuyu…

 

In a way, we matched. She was the sound that erased my silence. I was thankful to have her.

 

We spent a fair bit of time together after, being both Japanese speaking students. She was a great support and always encouraged me to work hard for my ballet classes. What was a little strange about her was the things she said… or was it the things she sees?

 

“Mina, look at that puppy! My favorite is the shiba inu.”

 

I recalled seeing the faces of the people around us. Their judging expressions. Sana did not seem to falter.

 

“Mina, you should meet Tzuyu one day!”

 

We never met. Sana would say Tzuyu had something on at the last minute.

 

It happened during a swimming lesson one day. When you see someone hesitating by the pool, you would automatically think that perhaps they are afraid… Perhaps they could not swim.

 

She was by the pool and when I made my way over, I could see her gaze on the pool water. She looked like she was very far away. Suddenly her face crumpled and she screamed. I wanted to help, I swear I did. She started pushing me away. That was when I was truly afraid. What happened?

 

The teachers came.

 

Everyone came to see her screaming at the pool waters.

 

Hell. I didn’t know what to do.

 

She was my best friend at the campus. What was she hiding from me?

 

After everything settled, we went to her place together. We sat in her room. It was the first time I saw her room. It was very simple and plain. Mostly the shade of white and a bit of flower patterns. Her face was oddly unsmiling when she made her apology.

 

“Sorry for earlier…”

 

I decided to just listen to her explanation first.

 

“Umm… Well, my childhood wasn’t exactly the most pleasant one…”

 

Was it true?

 

Her parents had tried to drown her when she was five? What was that awful story of child abuse? I hugged her and we slept in her room for the night, just talking about minor stuff that went about our daily lives. Like best friends do.

 

I was glad she confided in me.

 

So… I guess that explained her fear of the water. She got to skip swimming classes for the entire semester. We got closer as summer approaches, studying at her place and at mine occasionally. The exams were coming soon.

 

It was probably the exam stress that changed her mood I guess…

 

“Yeah?”

 

She had turned her head around for the millionth time when I clearly had not called for her.

 

At first, I thought she was restless and distracted but then her eyes held that slight tinge of irritation. It was puzzling… Tired from all the studying? That’s fine. Best friends get annoyed from time to time right? I should be patient with this.

 

Then came the day we stopped talking for awhile…

 

Tzuyu...

 

I found her seated on the roof of the school and could not get over that shock till weeks later…

 

What the hell was she thinking? Dangling her legs over the roof so casually as if she didn’t have a care in the world. She was talking too. I heard her voice…

 

I approached her and she got angry. Well, not the tantrum kind of angry but she sort of went cold and told me to leave her alone for awhile because she had private matters to deal with. That, of course, left my mind reeling.

 

What? Was this one of her childhood issues?

 

I was lost after being pushed away that week. Time just flew.

 

Before I knew it, we stopped talking for awhile. Then she approached me again and apologised for the way she had behaved. She explained that she had been trying to help Tzuyu. I forgave and hugged her quickly, just missing my best friend badly…

 

It was only when we made our way to her home that Tzuyu was brought up again. Who was this girl… Turned out to be Sana’s other most trusted friend. The friend that she told all her troubles to, ever since childhood.

 

Ah… Got to admit, I was kinda jealous… Well just a teeny bit.

 

At Sana’s place, we didn’t do much. Just chilled for a bit and listened to some music. She kept glancing at her phone and texting with a frown. I felt my curiosity built up and though it wasn’t entirely right, I felt the need to check…

 

My chance came when she left for the kitchen to bring us some snacks.

 

Checking the phone made me realize how little I knew my best friend… Doctor’s appointment at the Psychiatrist. Oh… Was she seeking medical help regarding…?

 

“Mina… What are you doing with my phone?”

 

We studied each other's’ gazes intensely for the next few seconds. Mine was filled with worry while hers was… Fearful… She looked so afraid of something, I wonder what it was… The biscuits tasted so bland as we sat in her room in silence. Again… what was she hiding…

 

Should I ask…

 

What can I even ask…

 

“Mina… I don’t think we can be friends anymore…”

 

It wasn’t a joke.

 

After that day, she stopped talking to me. Only what was strange is that she appeared to have really no recollection of us. As much as it pains me to say it, it felt like she had forgotten about my existence…

 

I still hung around, watching her from a distance as she went about her routines. She would cast these strange glances my way… Why… It was painful to watch like this honestly, I wondered what I did wrong.

 

Was it about her seeking medical help?

 

Perhaps…