A question

The Heart of the Moon

It had started with a question. More had followed. 

Do you really pull the moon across the sky? It’s massive.

How do you get into space without a ship?

What is the moon like?

How did you get influence over even the tides? Wouldn’t Poseidon protest?

They were simple questions, ones Dahyun should've been able to answer. She couldn't. Such things had rarely come to mind before. When they came, she had been able to dismiss the questions, for the concepts had never been truly explored by mortals. 

Then it had changed. Proper observations and predictions had been made. Things had been sent into the realm known as space, capturing images of it. And then mortals had stepped foot on the moon, a feat Dahyun had never achieved or thought of doing. And she was the goddess of the moon. As if to worsen the affront, the mortals had called the mission Apollo 11, a fact which her brother found hilarious. 

She had spoken to Mina about what she could do, as the goddess of wisdom had taken to overseeing the many developments in the education system over the millennia. The less arduous process would be to deceive the mortals, warp their minds so that they believed Dahyun was completely capable, and attend the next journey to the celestial sphere. Yet Dahyun felt it cheap to do so, while Mina was vehemently against such deception. What she had helped Dahyun do was to create an identity for herself so that she could enter the last years of school and claim a degree she needed to continue on the journey. 

In the first stage, she'd needed to learn about forces, rotational and linear motion, electromagnetism, and so much more. So many of the concepts made Dahyun’s head spin. Even so, she needed to learn these things before she could advance to the higher educations. There were stages for modern humans, at least for the route that Dahyun wanted to take: a bachelor, master, and then a doctor, but not in the medicinal sense. Then there was employment, one that required application, just as the previous stages did. To achieve what Dahyun wanted, she needed to be in good health, which she was, and an education, which she did not have. 

That higher form of school had been completed. Dahyun had not been the top of her class, a fact which her brother seemed to find very funny. 

Then university had come. Dahyun hadn’t wanted to experience the extended process of college in North America, so she’d gone to Europe. Several of her hunters had accompanied her, a few needing the same identity fabrication as she had, while others had been able to use their real ones. They had all helped Dahyun assimilate into the modern world and learn what it meant to act as a mortal. Two had helped her beforehand in school. There were certain rules and restrictions that should have been an affront to her, but she’d needed to comply. One of these included taking diplomatic approaches to confrontation rather than violence. Diplomacy included adhering to laws Dahyun disagreed with. Yet she’d complied. 

And now she was in the masters stage, having completed the bachelors a year before. The hunt had not fallen by the wayside, although it was no longer in the forefront of her mind. Now it had been taken up by materials, numbers, and designs. On some days, she felt she was closer to Hephaestus’ realm than her own. He had even approached her after she’d completed her fifth project. 

“Care to say why you’ve been asking my help several times in a row?” The man had looked at Dahyun’s electronic bow with a scope (not that it had ever been necessary). “And sometimes curse me in the same breath?” 

It was the third time she’d needed to explain her actions to another god. The first had been Mina, who'd been extremely enthusiastic to set her on her way, the second had been her brother, who'd tried to be supportive, while still being thoroughly confused. With someone who was essentially the patron of engineers, Dahyun had found herself feeling more self-conscious than ever before.

That was until a smile had slowly grown on his face. And when Dahyun had told him about the computer program she’d been using, he’d immediately recommended a different one to her. One that was far more expensive, yet the god of blacksmiths had gotten a discount code on it. She’d never expected to ever receive advice from him, nor had she imagined he’d be enthusiastic doing so. To put it short, it had been the longest conversation Dahyun had ever had with Hephaestus.

Entering the modern world had also widened Dahyun’s perspective on how mortals, even men, thought and acted throughout their lives. She had met individuals who thought more deeply about reality than many immortals she knew. Certain people far surpassed those immortals in intelligence as well. 

A few of those people became dear to her without being a part of her hunters. That wasn’t to say that there were no new hunters found in the mortal world, there were. Yet that was also not her focus. 

She did not come as far as finding a man who could be deemed a close friend. Most friendly advances soon became romantic, either with her or her hunters. It reminded her that their vows would be considered highly out of the ordinary in this world.  There was never the temptation to accept any, but she rarely needed to join rejections with a threat of violence. After years spent so close to mortals, Dahyun had come to realise that there could be romantic advances that were not charged by aggression. 

The questions had removed a layer of her pride. Becoming an adolescent student had taken off another. Learning to adhere to mortal laws and to tolerate other aspects of society had torn off more. Being in a world with specific cultural standards and a new way of living had sheared off the next layers. Being repeatedly shown how little she knew about the world she’d spent thousands of years in had crushed the rest into a fine powder.

_____

Sana pushed open the doors, the warmth of the hearth greeting her as it always did. Tzuyu and Mina sat together by the fire. Mina lacked her armour. Instead she wore an oversized black sweater and leggings. A hundred years ago, such a casual sight would have been unlikely. A thousand years ago, the prospect would've never crossed her mind. 

Tzuyu nodded at her. “I’m sorry for the loss.”

“He will be in Asphodel,” Sana replied. “That ought to tell you enough.” Despite the man having had many at his funeral who loved him. Unlike other funerals Sana had attended, where the emptiness of the mourners’s love became ever so striking. 

“Not really,” Mina left the hearth and walked over to her, “from what I gathered, you were not unhappy.” She put a careful arm around her shoulders. The process of becoming the war goddess' friend had been filled with ups and downs on either side. Both had needed to peel away layers of their respective prides in order to properly tolerate one another. Now Sana could safely consider Mina to be an absolute nerd. And she was all the better for it. 

Sana shook her head. “You’re right.” She sat down beside Tzuyu, the fire warming her back. 

“There’s a but in that sentence,” said Mina.

There was always a ‘but’ when it came to mortals, immortals as well. Either they became the same in Sana's eyes or so different that she could hardly tolerate the change. 

“I’m not talking about that. Not now.” Mortals were not meant to stay forever. They left their loved ones with an ache that could rarely be filled. Even if love was found again, that didn’t replace the old one. The love one felt for a person was always directed at an empty place in the world. It was one that could be covered, but never filled. 

For Sana, those parts of the world were numerous. A new one had joined them. Adrian had lost his wife five years before Sana had met him. She had given him a light for one year before gently leaving him again. Now he had grown old and died through natural causes. He was one of several individuals who Sana had been losing recently. 

The two goddesses were silent. 

"What degree is it this time?" Sana turned to Mina. 

"Not a degree," she smiled, "I've got a job." 

"Please tell me you're not an architect again." That would mean Mina'd disappear for weeks on end, rarely ever coming back to Olympus until her project was finished. She was an involved architect, which wasn't always appreciated by the others involved. 

"Software," Mina replied. "Defending many threats now requires a cyber shield, rather than a metal one." 

"It also means she's able to construct new identities," Tzuyu added. 

Sana gaped at her. "Does that mean you've gone over to the mortals too?"

She snorted. "You make it sound like I've gone over to the dark side." 

"Depends on what you're doing." 

"Baking." 

"Does that mean I get free snacks?" Sana winked. 

"If I succeed, perhaps." Tzuyu rolled her eyes. "What's your plan now?"

"Nothing, really," she admitted. Then she caught Mina's eye. "Don't look at me like that, I'm not enrolling anywhere." 

She raised her hands. "It might be better than you think." 

"To be surrounded by people only just entering adulthood?" Sana shook her head. "I'd rather not." 

"You're going to get bored otherwise," Mina replied. 

"I'll find something." 

"Not someone, I hope," Tzuyu said quietly. 

"You make it sound like a bad thing." Sana squinted at her. 

"Because you know what happens," she held her gaze, "or do you always forget?"

Sana looked away. Millennia of being an observer from the hearth, while also being the glue that held their family together, had made Tzuyu a bit too insightful for Sana's liking. 

The men and women in the mortal world who also held a hole in their love were the ones Sana sought out. When that hole was covered, she could watch as their spirits rose. That was the moment she could leave again, though there were times where she wished she could stay. With her departure, she always made sure that she didn't leave another hole. It almost always worked. 

“Don’t go to her this time.” Tzuyu stoked the flames.

Sana frowned. “I wasn’t planning to.” It was slightly disconcerting that neither of them needed to mention a name. 

“But you will tomorrow. Or next week. Or later this month,” Mina patted her hand, “don’t.”

“Is this an intervention?” Sana asked. 

“And a normal conversation,” Tzuyu replied. A small smile. “One I hope you’ll understand.”

Sana didn’t, but she didn’t want to ask. 

Mina didn’t give her the opportunity to avoid it. “She’s getting involved in something more. It needs more work than before. Give her this time and I think you’ll both be better for it.”  

“And how will I be better?” Sana asked. She found herself wanting to know what ‘something more’ meant. What had Dahyun found that would be deemed so important by the goddess of wisdom?

“You won’t be coming to her as,” Tzuyu trailed off, “as you have.” 

“And how is that, exactly?” She turned to her.

Tzuyu was always the diplomat of the family, with Mina coming in at second until Poseidon or Ares (and at one time Sana) came into the picture. Yet Sana didn’t see what insight two other maiden goddesses could provide her with. 

“As though she will help you.” Tzuyu’s eyes reflected the fire well, though they lacked some of the warmth they usually held. 

Sana shook her head once more. “I think you've misunderstood.” She made to stand. 

“I’ve seen how you talk to her. Constantly hinting at what she does not understand, never properly explaining when there is confusion,” Tzuyu frowned, “you cannot play with her while you try to reach out.” 

“I’m not doing either,” Sana shot back, getting to her feet.

Mina stood with her. “Yet you go to her for comfort she doesn’t know she’s giving.”

Sana didn’t want to hear any more. “Neither of you know what you’re talking about. I don't want to see her.” 

“I believe you,” the war goddess replied. “But we’re telling you to wait longer. A year this time.” 

“And don’t tell us you can do as you please,” Tzuyu said. “We can tell you the same." A pause. "But knowing more than you do, it’s best if you wait.” 

Sana left the room, the warmth of the hearth leaving her as she did.

_____

Author's Note

I don't mean to do it, but Dahyun often becomes very involved with muggle science and technology, if I can call it that. It might be because that's one of the dominating aspects of my life, or just the fact that I love combining the mundane with magic/fantasy/mythology. 

I thought it was high time we know more about what the two goddesses have been doing outside of their interactions with one another. While both are in the mortal world now, their ways of acting within it differ a fair amount. Dahyun wants to set foot on the moon and intends to do it properly, while Sana just about exists in the world. However, there is a deeper level to it. 

Has the new information explained anything about previous interactions? Or is one half of the pair still left ambiguous?

See you next chapter. 

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A_B_J_Ch #1
Chapter 11: Now, I am quite disappointed. I knew I was getting into this story with it not being finished. But now, seeing as there is only one chapter left, it is quite frustrating to see it in such a state :(
A_B_J_Ch #2
Chapter 10: It is a very interesting view - the juxtaposition of the ancient gods and the modern technology and its findings. I would also add on to Dahyun's concerns with a thought whether the gods are indeed immortal, or if they are connected to the lifespan of the Earth. But that could make for even bigger existential crisis :)
sxn_penguin
#3
Chapter 11: great story, i love it so muchhhh ಥ‿ಥ
when will you update again author nim???
MarinhiAnjo #4
Reading again because I miss the fic...
RuinedHeathens
#5
Chapter 11: I've come to read this again. The last time I was left just a bit numb and speechless, like I've internalized their argument. Dahyun as I would see her is another victim of 'searching answers to only find endless more questions', a god showing symptoms of existential crisis and a bit of depression somehow, find this funny n sad. Sana had it coming, the confrontation I mean, but Dahyun was unfair, pouring her frustration to that one who truly cares. I wonder how it all wraps up. It's as if as Sana grew and gain better perspective of herself by knowing Dahyun, Dahyun had the opposite and lost herself. Anyways, sorry for the rambling. Dont mind us. Thank you and hoping you have great day authornim!
lourin #6
Chapter 11: these makes me thinking about the birth of god/goddess, like if they just suddenly pop out of nowhere and worshipped by human . lol
i always think dahyun as a loner and sana came around bothered her at first but then warm up with her presence. then when she needs someone to talk, sana avoided her and that made her upset.
dahyun as goddess explore the moon, something that she associated with, then having doubt about her existence really fresh perspective to write. where do you get the inspiration came from? really like how you write different perspective about this.
anyway, thanks for the update :)
37michaeng29
#7
Chapter 11: this physically hurt me :(
loveonly #8
Chapter 11: Oh boy. Honestly, this conflict is something that had to happen. Dahyun is full of doubt over her own existence why wouldn't she doubt Sana's intentions? Especially considering their history. I am surprised it's the second to last chapter. And sad because I don't know how this can end well. :( It feels like either Sana or Dahyun or both of them will have to lose. But still, thank you for the story. As a Greek mythology nerd I enjoyed this new phylosophical take on these familiar faces. It's a very unique story. Even if it did bring my own existential qualms to the surface again lol.
conatozakim37
#9
Chapter 11: Reading between the lines is far more challenging than anything you'd have to face in this world. The situation of both goddesses are really frustrating. I mean, I get where Dahyun's coming from. It's hard to accept the truth of what she just discovered about herself, especially when they were born to think that they were supreme beings. But I think Sana as of the moment is carrying more burden. Whichever she chooses to pursue, it is guaranteed that she's going to break her heart either way. And that's saying a lot, considering that she is the goddess of love. It's like breaking her being. I'm really curious what would happen next.

Didn't expect it to become as angsty as it is now. Great job author. I hope you find the drive to continue writing. This and The Wrench are definitely one of my favorite works in this site. See you on the next chapter, I guess? :)
teddiebears #10
beautiful! i love this so much, thank you