Love

The Heart of the Moon

Dahyun let the arrow fly. It pierced the beast in its throat. 

She launched the smaller one into the snake head's eye. It’s life would end soon. There was no reason to prolong its suffering. 

She lowered her bow, ready to go over when a voice pierced the silence. 

“Looking for something?”

Dahyun jumped. Then she brought the speaker to the ground, reaching for her knife soon after. Her hand closed over their throat. 

“Dahyun,” Sana said, her eyes wide. “It’s just me.” She sounded winded.

She looked down, her blade was pressed to base of the goddess' throat. Dahyun let go. “You’re such an idiot.” She sheathed the knife and got up.

“Ouch,” Sana rubbed , “I didn’t expect you to react like that.” Slowly, she got to her feet, brushing off the dirt on the back of her jeans. Dahyun was slightly surprised to see the choice of wardrobe. 

“And what did you expect?” she asked. “That I’d smile and say hello?” She picked up her bow. “At this time?” When it was absolutely quiet, Dahyun was completely alone, and not expecting any visitors. Sana was lucky she hadn't had slit immediately. 

“My expectations weren’t that high,” Sana muttered. “But not so low either.” 

“Now what do you want?” Dahyun went over to it. This was a chimera, one that had taken to attacking the odd hiker or camper. 

“Is it so unlikely that I’d just want to see you?” 

“Yes.” Dahyun snapped its neck. 

Sana was looking at the goats head. There was an element of sympathy in her eyes. 

“Feeling sorry for it?” Dahyun asked. She had seen that look many times with the huntresses. She remembered Sana's disgust when she'd dealt with the lion. The goddess of love wasn't a hunter, even if Dahyun would count her as a predator. 

“Can I?” Her eyes did not leave it. “You did say most never protest about killing these beasts.”

“That doesn’t mean there is never sympathy or pity.” Dahyun whispered the prayer for the kills. The chimera was surrounded by silver light. Then it faded. She'd made it vanish. It would be at the camp. It was about time that the new girls learned how to handle a chimera. The older girls would hang back, letting the others figure it out. Once Dahyun returned, she'd explain the rest. 

“You’re not gonna carry it?” 

“Not today,” Dahyun replied. “So why are you here? Are you really that bored?” 

“I’m not here because I’m bored,” Sana said. “I was curious.”

“About?”

There was an audible sigh. “Can’t you do a little guesswork?” 

Dahyun took the silence to take in the goddess. Her posture lacked the usual confidence and her eyes didn't hold their typical playfulness. Yet Sana was very good at hiding her true feelings. If this was some attempt to test her patience, she was succeeding. It had only been a few months since she'd last seen her. Much too short. 

“I guess you’ve been interested in what we do here,” Dahyun said. “But it's all pretty simple compared to yours.” She rarely thought about Sana's realm until she was confronted with its darker side. What small insights she did get always cemented her resolve to reject it. 

Sana frowned then. “What do you mean by that?” 

Now Dahyun had opened that discussion. Now she was the idiot. “Only that the complexity and depth of your realm is a little bigger than what I represent. It's easy to discern between the good and bad, but there always seems to be more bad than I see good with you—your realm.” She caught herself. 

She was silent, her brow still furrowed. Why were Dahyun’s words getting silence and not a corrective remark?

“Do you always have to criticise love?” Sana asked. “It's not like you have the high ground." 

Dahyun didn't disagree, but she could admit that. “Are you sure?” 

Sana had to know what led people away from love. Perhaps she didn't know what Dahyun thought of it, but she had to know what was wrong with it. 

“The purpose of your realm is to kill.” Sana laughed. It was a harsh sound. Had her patience been snapped? “How is mine any worse than that?” 

“Love consumes your worshippers,” Dahyun replied. “They become blinded to any flaws within it. It lets them overlook the wasting away of their lives, and the problems that'll always come along.” She scowled at the goddess of love. “Killing may play a part in it, but my realm brings food and safety to those in need, focus to those who seek it out, and a place for those who have none.” 

“And mine doesn't?” Sana stepped forward. “I bring families together where the children are fed and protected. People find meaning through me. If that isn’t focus, then you haven't understood the concept,” she said. “And once you're with the one person you love, someone who loves you just as dearly,” her eyes bored into Dahyun’s, “then you have found your place.”

“That is the pure form of love,” she retorted. “Too many times have I seen it corrupted.” She would list them if Sana asked. All of the women who had been driven away from families and futures. 

Sana scoffed. “As if you pay it any attention.”

“You forget who comes to me," Dahyun said. “Many of my huntresses escaped the clutches of spoiled love. They have been pursued, attacked, and shunned because of that love and selfish desires.” She forced herself to meet Sana’s eyes. “And I’m afraid you’re a very good example as well.” 

Sana drew her head back, eyes narrowing. Dahyun knew she had said the right thing, but it had clearly touched upon a surprisingly sensitive topic. She wondered why the goddess would be so insulted. 

“If you’re saying I’m responsible for your huntresses’ suffering, then—“

Dahyun didn’t want to hear a threat. “I mean you don’t experience the love that you so praise. You had an unhappy marriage, an even unhappier affair, and you made up for it with the adoration of mortals and immortals alike.” 

To her surprise, there was silence. It reminded her that she might have been too harsh. Her words were still true, but perhaps they had neared being cruel. 

“It’s not like I’m blind to the flaws in my own realm, because I remember all of my mistakes,” Dahyun said. “I just think we both need to practice not being hypocrites.” Then she stepped away. 

A hand gripped her wrist, tugging her back. The movement was harsh. 

Dahyun could have broken out of that grip. Sana might have been strong, but she wasn’t trained for anything as Dahyun was. If she wanted to leave, she could easily make the goddess let go. 

But when she looked into Sana’s eyes, she was stopped from doing anything by the anger in them. 

“Don’t you dare confuse what I do with who I am,” Sana hissed. Her eyes glowed a dark pink. 

The words took Dahyun a moment to unpack. If Sana didn't want to be defined by what she’d done, was she ashamed of those actions? Did she want to forget about them? Her father always ‘forgot’ about the many women whose lives he had invaded, whose bodies he had lusted after. Yet Dahyun did not forget. Not when some of them had come to her. 

“Who are we if we discount our actions?” Dahyun asked. “Are we our realms? You become love, a feeling, while I'm the pale orb in the sky?” When Sana did not reply, she continued. “You cannot dismiss all that you're ashamed of, Sana. You yourself have shown me how cruel I can be,” she smiled, “so if I don’t accept that as a part of me, if I forget about the things that I’ve done, how else do I define myself?”

“By what you want,” Sana said quietly.

Her tone of voice made Dahyun pause. As did the question. Hunting did not answer it. Her friendships, though cherished, were also not the answer. She already had them. She might have been able to answer the question of what she needed better. 

Sana didn’t look smug at her silence. She just held her gaze. “You don’t know.” 

Admitting it felt like defeat, but denying it would be cowardly. “I don’t need to.” She was able to pull her arm away without any resistance. Then she started to walk back to her camp. Sana did not follow. If Dahyun’s ears were to be believed, Sana did not even move.

_____

Author's Note

The Hunters of Artemis were something I only consciously saw in the Percy Jackson series, though I could have sworn I read about them in another source. However, for this story I'm sticking with Dahyun having a group of women who take the same vows she did (maidenhood and renouncing marriage, if I understood it right). I imagine that if the Greek gods existed in this way, the Hunters could serve to be a place of refuge. 

Thank you all for the support on this story! It's still got the fantastical element, but the writing itself is in a slightly different direction than what I'm used to. This very scene kick-started the story for me. There was a tension between the two in terms of their relationship, but also their ideals. 

Would love to know your thoughts and/or feelings about these two goddesses! 

See you next chapter. 

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Comments

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A_B_J_Ch #1
Chapter 11: Now, I am quite disappointed. I knew I was getting into this story with it not being finished. But now, seeing as there is only one chapter left, it is quite frustrating to see it in such a state :(
A_B_J_Ch #2
Chapter 10: It is a very interesting view - the juxtaposition of the ancient gods and the modern technology and its findings. I would also add on to Dahyun's concerns with a thought whether the gods are indeed immortal, or if they are connected to the lifespan of the Earth. But that could make for even bigger existential crisis :)
sxn_penguin
#3
Chapter 11: great story, i love it so muchhhh ಥ‿ಥ
when will you update again author nim???
MarinhiAnjo #4
Reading again because I miss the fic...
RuinedHeathens
#5
Chapter 11: I've come to read this again. The last time I was left just a bit numb and speechless, like I've internalized their argument. Dahyun as I would see her is another victim of 'searching answers to only find endless more questions', a god showing symptoms of existential crisis and a bit of depression somehow, find this funny n sad. Sana had it coming, the confrontation I mean, but Dahyun was unfair, pouring her frustration to that one who truly cares. I wonder how it all wraps up. It's as if as Sana grew and gain better perspective of herself by knowing Dahyun, Dahyun had the opposite and lost herself. Anyways, sorry for the rambling. Dont mind us. Thank you and hoping you have great day authornim!
lourin #6
Chapter 11: these makes me thinking about the birth of god/goddess, like if they just suddenly pop out of nowhere and worshipped by human . lol
i always think dahyun as a loner and sana came around bothered her at first but then warm up with her presence. then when she needs someone to talk, sana avoided her and that made her upset.
dahyun as goddess explore the moon, something that she associated with, then having doubt about her existence really fresh perspective to write. where do you get the inspiration came from? really like how you write different perspective about this.
anyway, thanks for the update :)
37michaeng29
#7
Chapter 11: this physically hurt me :(
loveonly #8
Chapter 11: Oh boy. Honestly, this conflict is something that had to happen. Dahyun is full of doubt over her own existence why wouldn't she doubt Sana's intentions? Especially considering their history. I am surprised it's the second to last chapter. And sad because I don't know how this can end well. :( It feels like either Sana or Dahyun or both of them will have to lose. But still, thank you for the story. As a Greek mythology nerd I enjoyed this new phylosophical take on these familiar faces. It's a very unique story. Even if it did bring my own existential qualms to the surface again lol.
conatozakim37
#9
Chapter 11: Reading between the lines is far more challenging than anything you'd have to face in this world. The situation of both goddesses are really frustrating. I mean, I get where Dahyun's coming from. It's hard to accept the truth of what she just discovered about herself, especially when they were born to think that they were supreme beings. But I think Sana as of the moment is carrying more burden. Whichever she chooses to pursue, it is guaranteed that she's going to break her heart either way. And that's saying a lot, considering that she is the goddess of love. It's like breaking her being. I'm really curious what would happen next.

Didn't expect it to become as angsty as it is now. Great job author. I hope you find the drive to continue writing. This and The Wrench are definitely one of my favorite works in this site. See you on the next chapter, I guess? :)
teddiebears #10
beautiful! i love this so much, thank you