Sana watched the rocket rise into the air, the smoke billowing as it went. She wondered what Dahyun would feel, knowing she was going farther away than any of them had ever gone. She wondered what she’d feel when back down on Earth, after her feet had touched the moon. Would her doubt be quelled? Or increased?

“Truly terrifying prospect, isn’t it?” a voice asked. The tone was familiar, but she couldn’t place it. 

Sana turned. “What is?”

The speaker was a young man with copper-coloured skin and green eyes. “Leaving the place you call home, going somewhere where time and distance become meaningless.” He frowned. “Could make someone doubt everything they hold dear.” A pause. “Including their ideals.”

“Who are you?” Sana put some persuasion into her voice. This man didn’t talk like a mortal. He held himself like something more as well. Yet there were few who could resist her. One of those people was speeding away from the Earth. He wasn't one of them. 

“You don’t know who I am?” He raised a brow. Then he transformed into a woman. A beautiful one with purple hair, skin as bright as the moon, and silver eyes. “You’re a threat to the vows she took. That’s your hint.”

Sana clenched her fist. “Horkos.” 

The impersonation of Dahyun smiled, eyes bright with a mockery the moon goddess would never wear. 

“Get out of her skin,” she hissed. “It’s an insult.”

“One that you’ll punish?” Horkos raised her—his eyebrows. “My my.”

She strode forward and gripped Dahyun—Horkos by the throat. She tried to look past the form he’d taken and let heat enter her fingertips. Then she watched as Dahyun’s eyes grew hooded. The taunting edge vanished and was replaced with desire. It was a plain reminder that this was not Dahyun. 

“I can’t influence her, but I can do so with you.” Sana made sure to hold her—his gaze. “And I'm sure you haven't forgotten the many things I can make you do.” It had been years since she’d forced someone to succumb to her. She’d forgotten the sense of control it gave her. She relished in it. 

Horkos gazed up at her with silver eyes. “To be under your spell is a gift.” Dahyun’s voice was so inviting. Like nothing Sana had ever head. It filled her with a yearning to hear it from the goddess herself. 

Sana tightened her grip over the slender neck. She pushed down the wishes and dreams that ran through her head. 

“You will take another form, or I will send you somewhere you won’t return from,” she said. “At least not for many years.” 

The soft skin beneath her grew more coarse. Dahyun became the young man again, his eyes only a deep green. 

Sana let Horkos go and stepped away. 

“Glad to see there’s some protective instinct to you.” He rubbed his neck. The skin was red. “Then you’ll hear what I have to say.”

“I do not intend to have her break her vows,” Sana snapped. There had once been a time when she’d wanted to. She’d wanted to see the shame spread across her face as she succumbed to Sana’s realm. Now she felt ashamed at having thought such a thing in the first place. 

“And if she’d do it on her own accord?” Horkos tilted his head. “What then?” 

“I’m not the one who knows the consequences to that.” Not to mention Dahyun breaking her vows was next to impossible. 

He smiled. This time it wasn’t unkind. “No.” He looked to the rocket that was now getting further and further away. “She doubts more and more, you know.” 

As do I, Sana thought. “The value she places in her vows outweighs whatever doubt she feels.”

“So because you’ve set temptations after her before, you think you know her limits now?” Horkos crossed his arms, his smile growing smug. 

“Do you?” 

He shook his head. “Only what would happen if she passed them.” 

“She didn’t swear a false oath,” Sana said. “She believed, and still believes, that it would better never to bear a child nor marry.” 

“But she doesn’t hate you anymore,” he replied. “And those who do not despise you cannot help but love you in some way.” He crossed his arms. “Take me, do I suffer from eros or philia when it comes to you?” 

“I won’t answer that.”

His infuriating smile remained. “Do you know which she’d gravitate towards?” 

“Nor that.” 

“Alright.” His dark hair slowly became purple. “Do you remember the first time you cast me into Tartarus?” Horkos asked. His eyes were slowly turning silver. 

Sana said nothing. If he completed this second transformation, she wouldn’t hesitate to send him to Tartarus again. Horkos was a most infuriating god, one who was also able to withstand that region of the Underworld. The creatures and spirits there either hated or respected him. Many feared him. Sana was torn between all three. 

“You asked me how to break her vows, in addition to asking me to make them false.” He smirked. 

“And you told me I did not have the means to do so,” Sana finished.

“Precisely,” he sighed, “though I might have been wrong.” 

She wanted to ask what he meant, but she had another thing to say. “You were wrong about another thing.” 

“Oh?”

“I never asked you how I could break her vows,” though she had asked him to invalidate them, “I asked you how to prove her wrong.” 

He looked perplexed. “That’s the same thing.”

“No,” Sana said. “It’s very different.” She looked to where the rocket was. The only trace of it was the column of smoke. Even that was beginning to disperse. 

“She swore off marriage and ,” Horkos scoffed, “how is proving her wrong about that not related to her vows?”

“I wanted to prove her wrong about love,” Sana murmured. “And neither of those things she swore off must be related to that.” 

“You’d accept such a thing?” He blinked at her. “One of those things is far from being something you hate.” 

Sana frowned at him. “Proper respect is more important than , Horkos,” she said. “You’d do well not to forget that with me.” 

“My my,” he chuckled, “you have become a strange one.” Then he raised his hands. “I wonder if you’ll be content with those changes.” 

The remark tugged at a memory. Specifically, a question. One whose words still echoed in her ears. 

Do you think I’ve changed for the better? 

She brought her focus back to Horkos. The god of oaths and their falsehoods has vanished. He’d left the scent of hazelnut behind. 

Sana sighed. Of all the gods to pay her a visit, it had to be this one. 

She looked to the sky, wondering where exactly Dahyun was now. What was she thinking? Was she scared? Was she excited? And what would she feel when she returned?

So many questions, none of which Sana could think of an answer to. 

So she did something she never thought she’d do. She prayed. 

I hope you find what you’re looking for.

____

She’d done it. She was here. It hadn’t been how she’d imagined it when everything first started, but over time she’d come to realise that this was exactly how it was supposed to be. 

Dahyun was encased in a clunky suit, one that would’ve driven her mad ten years ago, but was all that kept her from a world of agony and nothingness. She wasn’t even sure how she’d handle the effects of vacuum. She was sure to fall unconscious. They’d take her body back, as long as they found it. But then what would happen? Would she wake up, lungs in shambles, completely deoxygenated blood, and a terrible ache all over her body?

How would that be explained? It would certainly be investigated if their memories weren't erased. They’d find that her family didn’t exist, at least not under the surname she'd given. They’d find out that her blood was gold and not red. They’d also be very perplexed when her body disappeared. 

So no, as much as she still didn’t like the suit, she appreciated it to no end. 

She looked down at the pale rock beneath her feet. She was accustomed to the weightlessness, but not this. A rock beneath her feet that held no soil, no semblance of having had life on it save for footsteps made half a century ago.

Dahyun was here. No longer on Earth. She was further away from the planet than Olympus was.

When she looked up, she only saw a portion of Earth. The blue, brown, and green planet was all but a simple orb in the distance. Save for the tether of gravity to hold it in place, Earth had little effect on the moon. On the other side of it, the moon exerted its influence on the tides. Its phases were either used as ways to be aware of the time, or to predict certain progressions of time. Dahyun had never bothered much with them, as she already knew Fate existed, intertwined with (and by) three women and time.

And yet all of that was far away now. The Fates were on Earth. The Underworld was on Earth. Olympus was on Earth. Life was on Earth. 

And Dahyun was on the moon. 

The others of her crew let her do as she pleased. A part of that was due to her own effects over them. She wished she didn’t have to alter their thoughts in that way, but she needed to be left to her own devices now. 

Other than her breathing, it was completely silent. Sound couldn’t reach her from the outside. It was eerie. Never, not even in a cave or by a most peaceful lake, had she encountered silence like this. Coupled with the far reduced sense of gravity, Dahyun barely felt as though she was in control. She was surrounded by emptiness. Everywhere she looked she found stars, the sun, the Earth, or darkness. No sound, no wind, and very little light. Nothing could reach her here. 

Could prayers reach her? She'd heard a few as they'd taken off. The hunters had sent her several messages of 'good luck' and 'have fun'. And then there’d been another. 

I hope you find what you’re looking for. 

How had Sana known that the expedition was today? And why would Sana say such a thing in the first place?

Dahyun dismissed those questions and focused on what had been said. Though that left her with another question. As had many things that Sana said to her. 

What was she looking for? 

The surface of the moon was rough in many places, but seemingly smooth in others. She stood at a crater now that sloped far below her. She had never been afraid of heights, but she wondered if she’d be able to climb out of it. There were so much uncertainty now. For a moment, Dahyun wondered if she was even still immortal so far away from the Earth. 

Then she dismissed the thought. While she would not try it, she knew that wasn’t the case. She was still the goddess of the moon. It was just the first time she’d ever stepped foot on the moon. 

Dahyun stepped away from the crater. She looked up instead. It had never dawned on her that looking up could mean looking down as well. Gravity only suggested directions like up or down. She'd realised that only when she'd properly seen how the moon curved as they'd flown up to it. 

So, for all intents and purposes, she was standing upside down. If the ropes of gravity were cut, then Dahyun would fall into the empty space, encountering only space debris for a very long time. She might go past Mars, or Jupiter, or she might just fall endlessly, never seeing another planet. She’d be alone during that entire time, unable to die.

There was the possibility of falling until she reached the next star, all while the Earth ceased to be that of today. All while technological developments were made, generations of people fell and rose, and countries melded into one or split apart even further. She wouldn’t know. All she’d see was how space hardly changed around her, but everything was in motion all at once. Everything orbited around something. The stars that had been there long before Dahyun was born would eventually fall into themselves and explode. Where would the world be then? What would happen to the gods? What would happen to her brother when the sun burned out? Were these two celestial objects the sources of their power? Standing on the moon now, Dahyun didn't feel a surge of power. She only felt a surge of doubt as her mind flooded with more questions. 

And no matter if she were on the moon, drifting into space, or on Earth, time would still progress that way. It would barrel on no matter what the gods did or even the Fates. Those old women were on Earth. Did they have any influence or knowledge about concepts the mortals spoke of? Did they know of the deaths of stars? Did they know of asteroids that might crash into the moon or the Earth? Or was that outside of their influence? Would she ask them? Would they turn her away?

Was it blasphemous to question Fate? There was no retaliation out here, but would it come when she returned to Earth? Perhaps she would ask them and they'd tell her they knew the answer to those questions. They just never concerned themselves with it. Was it better to ignore that side of eternity? Was it better to ignore that the planet on which they lived would eventually change beyond recognition? Did it make more sense to ignore that the sun which shone down on them would eventually disappear?

Dahyun felt dizzy. She looked away from the distant stars, some of which were either dying now or didn’t even exist anymore. She looked back to the moon. She began to walk back to the spacecraft. 

It was still so quiet. The mission wasn’t yet complete. Dahyun still had some time on this pale orb. A part of her wished she could leave now, but the other was certain she wouldn’t be coming back for quite some time. She would savour the time that she had now. She'd savour the seconds as though they were years. 

Dahyun started to consider what was certain: she’d reached the moon, the Artemis I would be leaving it soon and returning to Earth, and she'd return to the hunters. They would ask her of what she’d seen and found. She would show them the rock and soil she’d collected. Would she speak of the despair she felt now? 

I hope you find what you’re looking for. 

While there was still no definitive answer for what she’d been looking for, Dahyun knew she hadn’t found it. 

_____

The goddess who returned from the stars looked as though she’d been thrown from them. 

Her hair was no longer purple, but pure silver. Her skin seemed to glow brighter. Was this the effect of directly encountering her realm? 

Sana watched again from afar in the form of a small bird. She feared that Dahyun would see her again, but now she knew Dahyun would not care to look.

“I have souvenirs.” The goddess of the moon brandished a metal box. “As far as I know, they won’t report me.” 

Kendra’s voice was filled with concern. “Are you okay?” 

“Very tired,” Dahyun gave the box to one of the other girls who’d come. Minnie. 

“We brought you this.” Yuqi held up a silver bow. 

A very weak smile appeared. “Thank you.” She took it. 

Then Sana watched as silver eyes filled with tears. 

“Let us get back,” Dahyun said. “I believe I’ve my world’s been successfully upheaved.” 

The hunters exchanged looks before Kendra tentatively put an arm around the goddess. 

“You’re freezing,” she said. 

“Space is freezing,” Dahyun replied. “And the moon is very cold.”

The hunters disappeared all at once. They had not moved camp since the last time Sana had been there. 

She could go there and learn what troubled Dahyun enough for her to break down in front of her followers. 

They are my family just as my brothers, sisters, and parents are.

“Don’t go after her,” a voice said. 

Sana jumped. 

Mina sat on the branch beside her in human form. Her grey eyes were full of concern. Sana knew that concern was directed at the moon goddess and not her. 

Sana abandoned the bird form and jumped down from the tree. The impact hurt slightly. 

Mina looked mildly surprised. Then she shook her head and jumped down as well. 

“You said that before,” Sana replied. 

“And I'll say it again.” She sighed. “I know you mean well, but it’s not a good idea.” 

“And what makes you say it this time?” This was, in no way, like last time. 

“Horkos visited you, didn’t he?”

Sana felt her anger rise. “You think the same of me?” She stepped forward. “How could you think I’d do that?” She understood the value Dahyun placed in her vows. 

“Because you've caused others to break the same vow.” There was no judgment in her words, but Sana still felt the shame. “And that he appeared at all means she's on the brink of breaking them,” Mina said. “And I don’t say this because you’d be the one forcing her, but because you could be the reason for it.” 

Sana stepped away, not trusting her ears. 

“And I can’t allow you to risk what’s most sacred to her when she’s at her most vulnerable.” A sad smile. “You know what vulnerability very often leads to.” 

Desperation could follow. Secrets might be divulged. A raw authenticity would be shown. And inhibitions could be abandoned.

“That wouldn’t happen with her.” 

“Normally no,” Mina sighed, “but how normal was the scene you just witnessed?"

"That doesn't mean her resolve would weaken." Even as she said the words, Sana couldn't help but think of how defeated Dahyun had looked. 

"When a person falls into such a state of disbelief," Mina began, "they'd doubt the value of many things, including promises they made. Some conclude those very things to be meaningless."

“Meaningless?” Sana frowned. “Her doubt wouldn’t lead her to that.” 

She shook her head. “There’s a reason why I haven’t been to space yet.” 

“Did you tell her that reason?” From what Sana had gathered, Mina had been very encouraging of it. 

“Of course, but she wanted to continue." Mina looked proud then. "I was never ready to risk feeling small," a sigh, "or even significant. But Dahyun continued, not letting hubris steer her away.” 

It sounded very much like her. 

“She wouldn’t break her vows,” Sana said. She could say that for certain. “And I don’t intend to ever force her to.” 

“Perhaps,” Mina said with a soft smile. 

“This isn’t a game I’m playing, Mina.” She sat against the tree then, finding comfort in how unwieldy the bark was. “I want to help her.”

“I know,” she knelt down beside her, “but if she’s to come out of this, she’ll need all that she's used to. What she calls home. And that's the hunt and the people who follow her.” 

She doesn't need you. Those were the unspoken words. And they were painfully true. 

“I know you’ve also changed, Sana.” Mina took her hand. “But neither of you are ready to truly recognise that. Facing that change too soon could have more consequences than you’d think.” Then she pulled away, getting to her feet. “All I’m saying is that you should wait to step in. Wait until she's gotten back some form of certainty.” Her eyes flashed with sympathy. Then the goddess of wisdom vanished. 

Sana stayed where she was, focusing on the way the day left the sky. Being in Dahyun’s realm, she’d learned far more about finding the subtleties of the natural world. Be it how silence could have layers just as much as a loud room could or how the light streamed through leaves and branches, sometimes only coming through as a lone ray. She saw it here now, as the sky turned a blue that was almost black. She’d learned to find the beauty in her realm. 

Sitting in the silence of nature, she thought she saw a change in the night sky. Her eyes immediately fell on the half-moon above. It shone as brightly as it would if it were full. Its edge was smooth, as though perfectly sheared away by the darkness. She could almost imagine that the moonlight was warm, despite how cold the night air felt. 

Sana stared at it, trying hard to quell her thoughts and doubts from Mina’s words. She only focused on the beauty of the moon. Tonight, it seemed to have grown even more beautiful. 

_____

Author’s Note

This chapter's a bit on the shorter side, I know, but responsibility seems to have caught up with me. I'll still be writing, but the updates may be less frequent as they were here. This was also a chapter that got a little bit more research, as well as some digging into the times when I'd teetered on the edges of an existential crisis. 

By writing this chapter, I read up on the different space missions coming up, particularly those of the Artemis I, II, and III. Exciting stuff. First it’s an unmanned mission by June 2020 (hopefully that’ll still be able to happen), a manned flyby (if I understood that right) by 2023, and a proper landing planned to by in 2024. Little of what I’ve written here is realistic (though I hope you weren’t coming for pure accuracy when you clicked on this story), but I’ve tried to make it not completely absurd. The other parts that are a bit more questionable (as in, a lunar landing like the one I describe) are made possible by Dahyun’s powers as a goddess. I hope you’ll be alright with that element of it. 

Horkos was another case where I took some liberties, as he’s related to a curse inflicted on someone who swears a false oath. I extended that to include breaking your oaths, because for some things, I feel that breaking of a promise/vow/oath means in part that those things become false in and of themselves. That doesn’t apply to everything, but it can be interpreted as such. Just like some people interpret love to be all encompassing and omnipotent, while others just say it’s an instinct directed by our biology. 

Would love to know your thoughts! The musings about space are in part related to many of the thoughts I’ve had when I look up into the night sky for hours. While diving too deeply into that perspective can prove frightening sometimes, there’s just as much beauty to be found in space as well!

Hope you’re doing well! See you in the next chapter.