It has been an hour since Chanyeol and Kyungsoo left but Baekhyun was still wide awake, sitting on his sofa and drinking some leftover alcohol from their fun dinner. Only thing that changed was that he was now alone and it wasn’t fun anymore. Chanyeol’s words kept occupying his mind and it made Baekhyun question his whole life. He was used to hearing these kinds of comments on his appearance but this time it hurt. It wasn’t because of Chanyeol or any emotion related to the tall guy, he knew. It was just because, after all those years, Baekhyun grew tired.

“Enough drinking today, huh?” Despite Baekhyun was off guard, sudden appearance of Seohee didn’t surprise him since he was buried deep in his thoughts which only made the old lady more worried. “Yah, Baekhyun-ah.”

“Oh- Grandma.” Baekhyun mumbled looking at the old lady as if he was just realizing her existence.

“Grandma? You would always call me auntie. But I liked this better.” Seohee smiled while sitting next to Baekhyun, examining his features. During last few years, she had the chance to get to know Baekhyun. Under his sarcastic remarks and humorous self, lied a wounded boy who was waiting to be cured.

“Sorry. Just thinking that.. Maybe you were right. I wasn’t being nice to Chanyeol just because he is my neighbor. I liked him a little.” Baekhyun took a deep breath as the heavy weight lifted from his chest with the braveness alcohol gave him. “But, I don’t feel like I am ready for a real thing. I always push people around me away... Having one night stands are easy. Because they don’t have to know me.”

“You are a good person Baekhyun-ah and you are smart too. You shouldn’t blame yourself anymore. Instead, you should start opening yourself to people around you.” Seohee patted his shoulder, trying to give him some strenght. “Stop trying so hard, just be yourself.”

“It’s the problem. I’ve been trying so hard that I forgot how to be myself.” Baekhyun sighed shaking his head side to side leaving the bottle in his hand aside before standing up. “I think I should sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day. And don’t even think of reminding me our little conversation later.”

“I don’t need to. You won’t forget. Because you finally confessed yourself how you really feel.”

...

 Next morning, Baekhyun woke up with an expected headache and the blurred memories of yesterday. He sighed and closed his eyes once again. It had been an interesting night since Chanyeol learned about the existing of Seohee and Baekhyun learned how Chanyeol felt about the existing of him.

“Good morning, Chanyeol left some hangover soup for you before going to the bakery.” Baekhyun widened his eyes with the unexpected voice but it wasn’t Seohee’s sudden appearance, it was what she has said.

“He did what? He left me haejangguk?” Baekhyun stood up right away with the words he heard. Did Chanyeol even remember what he has said yesterday? Was this an apology? Maybe Chanyeol didn’t even think there was something to apology.

“Yes he did. He seems like he isn’t bothered because of my existence now. He said he’ll stay in the bakery until 7 but after that you are free to visit him.” Seohee smiled genuinely leaving a speechless Baekhyun behind.

“He said I should visit him?”

“Well I added that part myself but I am sure he wants to see you.” Baekhyun facepalmed himself after listening Seohee’s words. He should’ve known that the old lady was making up assumptions to get them together. He sighed while putting his morning gown on. While walking down the stairs, a smile covered his face with the delicious smell of haejangguk. It had been a long time since anybody has taken care of him.

 Ever since Chanyeol moved here, in these two days, Baekhyun seemed like he forgot about his diet. However, with the mouth watering smell of haejungguk, it was hard to resist himself. Therefore he dug into the soup with enthusiasm. Although, his pleasure didn’t last long because of his phone that kept ringing. After a quick check, Baekhyun saw that it was is manager so he answered hurriedly.

“Good morning, Kang-shi.”

“Morning? God damn it Baekhyun it’s almost 2 pm and you are not here. You have shooting in half an hour. Be here or your will get whopped.” His could feel the anger in his manager’s voice and he knew he couldn’t blame anybody but himself for that. This was the third time this month that he was late for his shootings. Today wasn’t any different as he forgot about his calendar completely.

“Oh- I am on my way. I am sorry just hold them for a while.” Baekhyun hung up the phone and rose up on his feet, quickly placing haejungguk in fridge before running back to his room. He had to be quick or they were going to cut his payment as a warning. He sweared at himself while choosing random clothes from his wardrobe. It was even okay to dress bad since there was a stylist to dress him in the company. They did even afford a make up artist this year so all he had to do was put on some clothes and be there on time.

 He chose a white shirt and baggy cargo pants with matching sneakers. He couldn’t dress bad just because it was okay to do it, in the end he had to look good no matter what. It was a part of his invisible rules. Checking his watch, he took a deep breath once again before taking his sneakers and running to the door.

“I have a shooting I forgot about. I might be late. I’ll stop by Chanyeol’s before coming home. Bye auntie!” He shouted out before leaving the house and running to his scooter. In days like this, he was glad he bought this old thing with the money he saved from his shootings. This was his little life saver.

...

“Did you eat ramen yesterday? Your tummy seems bloat.” Director sighed handing the camera to his assistant while examining Baekhyun’s body with a strict face.

“I am sorry, I had a couple of drinks.” Baekhyun mumbled almost ashamed of himself. People payed to see Baekhyun’s perfect body in these magazines, yet Baekhyun kept failing. Just like back in the trainee days when people expected great things from him, Baekhyun ruined everything. 

“When did you become so unprofessional?” Director sighed again leaving Baekhyun frozen in his place. He hated when people interrogate his devoting to this job. This was all he had, of course he was trying to be professional and everybody in this company knew that. Even though it was full of insults off camera, Baekhyun liked this shootings. And he would give people a piece of his mind if it wasn’t his job on the line.

“Take it easy on him, he is saving your magazine’s , every month.” Baekhyun looked up to see Sehun, who was another model from the same company as his. Even though Baekhyun was his senior, Sehun seemed to be more strong willed and domineering in the company.

“Look who is talking? Another brat that thinks he is the ing owner of the company.” Director turned to Sehun with a hysteric laughter, he seemed to forget about Baekhyun for a while. “I wonder who will pay you if I kick your asses off. Just because you guys are taking an important role on this, don’t think you own the company.”

“Sorry, I thought Baekhyun was the one who made your magazine the best seller after months of producing rubbish.” Sehun shrugged before turning his back to leave the room, leaving a speechless director behind. Nevertheless, it didn’t take long for the director to get back to himself and reached for the camera.

“Okay, Baekhyun. Just be yourself, imagine that couch is a human being and you want to own it. Be a professional.” His manager’s words cut the silence between him and the director and they started shooting again with less enthusiasm than before. However, Baekhyun kept doing as he was told, he acted like himself, even though he wondered if he was himself at all.

...

“You did well there, I wish they just fire that .” Baekhyun smiled at Sehun who was comforting him in the dressing room after the shooting. It was a stressful day and it was already passed 1 am. “Anyways, you seem off. Is something bothering you? The hyung I know would smack that er with his words but you seemed to just listen and accept everything.”

“Did I? Well so much has been happening in my life and I guess I am tired. Plus, I want to get paid.” Baekhyun huffed, putting his own clothes on before removing his make up. “I am so tired.”

“Oh well? I think you just need someone to relax you... And by relaxing.. I mean.. someone to do you well..” Sehun closed the distance between them when Baekhyun turned back to answer him. Being face to face with the younger didn’t excite him like how Chanyeol would do. Instead, it made him realize how he grew tired of men who tried to get into his pants. Sehun wasn’t an exception, when he first came to the company he was all over Baekhyun. And when Baekhyun finally gave him what he wanted, he kept coming for more. But Baekhyun didn’t want to be his little , he had more important jobs to do and Sehun was the only person Baekhyun was getting well with.

“That happened once and I don’t remember relaxing after it.” Baekhyun pushed Sehun slightly to the side and started pulling his photographs of today together in a small box. When he turned back, he saw Sehun making his famous puppy eyes. “Sehun, I love you. As a friend and a co-worker. Let’s not ruin it, I really don’t have anyone else to talk in this company.”

“Hyung. Why so serious now? That’s not you.” Sehun scrunched his nose while examining Baekhyun from head to toe, he seemed really weird today.

“Maybe this is me. And you just know the wrong person.” Baekhyun shrugged his shoulders and left the room with the small box in his hand. He bowed everybody on the way until the exit and when he finally left the building, he took a deep breath. It felt as if his lungs were crushed under a heavy rock and it was hard to breath. It had been a long time since he felt this way. Trying to get himself together, he sat on his scooter. He knew where he wanted to be right now.

...

 The road until his neighbor’s house was only 10 minutes but it felt like an hour. After parking his scooter, he checked his watch. It was almost 2 am and he was now praying that Chanyeol was still up but all the lights seemed to be off. Nevertheless, he rang the door bell, growing inpatient in front of the door as he waited.

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol opened the door after a few minutes with sleepy eyes.

“Hey..” Baekhyun mumbled while scratching the back of his neck before handing the box with the photographs in it to Chanyeol. “Here is your welcome gift.” 

“Welcome gift?” Chanyeol looked at the packet with surprised eyes, he didn’t understand what was Baekhyun trying to do this late.

“Yeah, welcome to the neighborhood.” Baekhyun smiled, it was as genuine as it could be.

“Want to come in?” Chanyeol opened the door seeing the smile Baekhyun put on wasn’t as genuine as Baekhyun expected it to be. He pulled Baekhyun inside before closing the door since the smaller didn’t move at all. “Did something happened?”

“No.” Baekhyun mumbled while pointing at the smal