Chapter 11

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jisoo in her office working on the report that will be discussed today's evening. She hears knocking on The door and gives them permission to enter. 

 

It's Min Yoo, has come to tell her that Jennie had woken up.

 

 "Ah well, thank you." 

 

Min Yoo gets out and Jisoo returns to her work, a few minutes passes trying to focus in her work, flips the papers aimlessly trying to think of the project in front of her but it's of no use. She's looking at the papers but her eyes see nothing, her mind is somewhere else.

 

She want to see her, talk to her and ask her about a lot of things, and at the same time, she knows that it's not the time for that. Both of them need to stay alone now, especially that she no longer knows what does she feel, various kinds of feelings are running inside her and she doesn't know what she will do or say if she sees her now. 

 

 "Why am I so nervous?" She says as she leans back on her chair.

 

 A small part of her is still angry, and when she recalls what Jennie said yesterday, that anger vanishs and she can only understand her.

 

Everything happened quickly and without her awareness, she found herself hugging her, everytime she remembers that, she gets embarrassed and feels troubled.

 

"Ugh! what was I saying at the time for heaven's sake? 'I'm here'?  Really Jisoo?" She grumbles as she leans forward on the desk.

 

 Maybe She'll talk to her after lunch.

 

Once she thinks of that, her stomach starts to flip again.

 

 "Damn, I feel nervous again!"

 

. . . . . . . . .

 

 "Lisa, I'm sorry.." Chaeyoung starts breaking the silence as she was looking sheepishly at Lisa and sometimes on the floor for the past few minutes,sitting on the edge of her bed, "if I didn't speak at the time-"

 

 "Not your fault." Lisa reassures firmly, still staring at the empty space in front of her, sitting in the middle of the bed with her legs forming an inverted V,  and her arms resting on them.  

 

 "She had caught us already, it was inevitable."

 

 - "What will happen now? What do you think she will do?"

 

 "I don't know, let's just pray that she let us go peacefully."

 

 - "You know what? I feel like we don't have to worry, in the end, this is Jisoo we're talking about." She says hopefully with a smile on her face.

 

Lisa looks at her blankly, a little taken back by that, then she chuckles.

 

 "Right? It's Jisoo." She falls silent for a second then she adds with a weak smile, "Strange, we didn't even have known her for a month, and yet we got to know her one way or another."

 

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 "Jisoo! I'm just here to tell you that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said all that hurtful words!"

 

 "Jisoo! I'm sorry, please forgive me.."

 

 "Jisoo! You can hit me if you want, I deserve it!"

 

 "Jisoo!  I really regret that I called you a spoiled girl, I mean, you're spoiled but in a good way.." she pauses for a moment staring at her reflection, "Aaah! what is this? All of them are of no use! All are bad! How will I apologize to her!" She say ruffling her hair helplessly.

 

Jennie was standing in front of the mirror, rehearsing what she's gonna say to Jisoo, after she took a good bath, done her hair and wore decent and nice clothes.  Every time she felt the words weren't enough and that they were meaningless, she wanted to apologize to her for so much and at the same time she didn't want it to appear vulgar or dishonest.

 

She turns away from the mirror and goes and sits in the middle of the bed, pouting.

 

 "I have to apologize to her, I must apologize to her..but how?" She mumbles to herself, feeling frustrated. "Damn, the time has already passed the lunchtime period and I haven't gone out yet."

 

Even if she prepares herself with words, she feels as though they will all disappear as soon as she sees her. She doesn't know what will happen if she sees her now, feeling very shy.

 

 

 'Oh damn it!'

 

She rises striding to the door and before she goes out she stands in front of the mirror, checks her hair again and makes sure of her appearance for the last time. 

 

 "Okay Jennie, you can do it!"

 

 

 . . . . . . . . . . .

 

 

 Jisoo at her office had sent after both Lisa and Chaeyoung to talk to them.  In front of her desk, there's medium-hight table, on which two bags were placed, and around the table there are the sofas.  She's standing in front of the desk, leaning on its edge, holding a file of what she's looking at.  

 

She hears Knocking on the door and lets them in, they're Lisa and Chaeyoung.

 

 "Please take a seat."

 

They sit on the sofa next to each other, facing her.

 

 "Well, Lisa ..Chaeyoung. I would like to talk to you about something-"

 

 Before she completes, Lisa gets up from her place and clarifies, "Before you decide anything, you should know that Chaeyoung has nothing to do for what happened, I'm the one who took part in it, so hold me accountable."

 

 "What are you saying?" Chaeyoung protests, getting up quickly when she  hears that. "We will both be punished." She turns toward Jisoo, who looks at them surprised.

 

"Don't listen to her, She's stupid and doesn't know what to say. Do what you want to do to both of us!" She informs her firmly.

 

 "Ya! Park Chaeyoung! Stay out of it! Just go and eat something!" Lisa snap at her.

 

 - "I swear if you don't stop this you will be the next on my meal list!"

 

Lisa and Chaeyoung persists to argue while Jisoo is looking at them dumbfounded, until she breaks in a laugh, drawing their attention. 

 

 "Calm down, I wasn't going to do anything," she assures them with smiley eyes. "All I wanted to talk about is this.."

 

She hands the file to Lisa and when she opens it, she sees pictures of a house with a contract sheet. 

 

With furrowed eyebrows she turns her gaze to Jisoo, confused.

 

 "If you like the house, you can move in immediately, and also if you need anything else, I can provide it for you."

 

Their mouth drops when they look at the house, very beautiful and suitable for them.  They look at her and their facial expressions are scattered, "But..but..this is a lot," Lisa says feeling touched, "we..we can't accep-"

 

"Lisa..Chaeyoung, you're both are good girls and also beautiful." She says her last word with a warm smile, "I don't want to see you as I saw you the first time, I don't feel comfortable leaving two girls like you just like that, so I hope you accept this one from me."

 

Their expressions softens, looking at her with gratitude.

 

 "Are we.." Lisa starts bashfully as she lowers her head and looks at the file, messing with its end," are we going to see you again? If we move to this house, will we be able to see you again?"

 

 "Maybe, I don't know, I won't be staying on Jeju Island for long.. but if I happen to pass near this neighborhood, I will make sure to pass by you." Jisoo answers her, her tone gentle and her warm smile doesn't leave her face, making them feel sad.

 

 So this is what goodbye feels like, knowing that your time with a unique person is almost over, the melancholy that fills your chest then.

 

 Lisa looks at Chaeyoung and they both stare at each other meaningfully for moments before Chaeyoung nods to her, then she looks back at Jisoo.

 

 "Then we don't want it." Lisa says confidently.

 

 - "What? Why?" Jisoo lets out surprised, a little taken back by her.

 

 "We would like to..we would like to stay here."

 

 Jisoo stares at them blankly.

 

"We don't want it, the place doesn't matter. If it's possible we would like to stay.." she  hesitates a little, feeling shy of what she want to ask for, "We would like to stay with you."

 

 

. . . . . . . .

 

 

Both smiling, Lisa and Chaeyoung heads out from the office, Lisa puts her arm around Chaeyoung's neck as they walk their way to the top floor when they meet Jennie as she was coming down. They stop and look at her a little with contentment.

 

Surprised by their happy facial expressions because they seemed to be at Jisoo, Jennie stares back at them.

 

 Lisa smiles at her, patters her shoulder, and they continue walking passing her.

 

Jennie stays standing confused by Lisa's gesture but she doesn't dwell on it. She goes towards the office and stands at the door, takes a deep breath and lifts her hand. Intends to knock on the door, she stops briefly and takes another deep breath and then knocks on the door.

 

 "Enter please."

 

 Once she hears her voice, her heart starts beating fast and she becomes more nervous.

 

Slowly opening the door, she finds Jisoo sitting in her chair behind the desk looking at her laptop through her medical glasses, not paying attention to the person who just opened the door.

 

 Once Jennie's eyes fell on Jisoo, she got overwhelmed by feelings and felt a great desire to cry again, but she stops herself.

 

Jisoo looks up and sees that it's Jennie. This is unexpected, as she hasn't sent after her yet.  

 

Surprised by her presence, Jisoo stares at Jennie for a few moments, then gets up and turns around the desk until she stands in front of it and leans against it.

 

 "Ah- yes..you can sit here."

 

 Jisoo points toward the sofa facing the desk.

 

After Jennie has sat, the silence prevails between them. Jennie was intertwining her hands with each other looking down and Jisoo was looking around the office thinking about something to say.

 

 'Come on, Jennie, Speak! This is starting to get awkward..apologize!'

 

 "Mmm..I was about to send after you.."  Jisoo starts pulling her back from her thoughts to look up at her, "Seems there's no need for it now.." Jisoo finishes awkwardly and Jennie looks back down.

 

 'What the hell am I saying?'

 

Silence reigns between them again and Jisoo looks at Jennie for a prolonged moments, takes a breath and thinks about how she feels now and what she really wants to say to her, the awkwardness she feels disappears and she becomes more determined.

 

 "Before we start, I first need to know who you are?" Jisoo starts again calmly and Jennie looks up to her questioningly,  "Tell me..what is your name?" Jisoo asks, looking at her with eager eyes.

 

She knows her name but she wants to hear it from her.

 

 - "My name is, Jennie. Jennie Ruby Jane kim" Jennie says calmly as she looks at her with her eyes glistening with warmth.

 

 "Jennie.. so you're Jennie."

 

 Something floats in the air around them as they stare at each other, they both don't know what it is, but it is something that makes them feel as if they are connected somehow, their heavy feelings maybe..their heart beating maybe..they only know that it makes them feel that at this very moment and in this place as if they are the only ones in this world.

 

Jisoo lowers her gaze as she continues, "Umm- from where did you know about me being..being.." 

 

 - "I heard the maids talking in the kitchen."

 Jennie respond quickly and sheepishly sparing Jisoo from the rest of the question.

 

 "Oh.. I expected something like that.." Jisoo says nodding slowly in disappointment.

 

 Another silence fills the room, but Jisoo doesn't want this. She wants to hear her speak more, wants to hear her voice more, this sultry yet so smooth voice..whether it's curiosity or something else this is how she feels right now and so she adds, "From what I understood so far..There are men out there chasing you for their money that your father stole. Is there anything else I need to know?"

 

 - "No, that's all." 

 

 She can't tell her about Matthew or about his other work, she can't drag her into that world.

 

 "If you give them money, will they leave you alone?"

 

 - "Mostly,yeah..I mean, they don't have any other reason to go after me." Jennie explains.

 

 Jisoo steps forward and sits at the edge of the table in front of Jennie, puts her hand on one of the bags and directs her gaze towards Jennie.

 

 "In this bag there is ten million dollars, and in the other bag additional money that can help you establish your life.."

 

 Jennie's eyes widen as she looks at her as if she knew what Jisoo is about to say.

 

 "Take this bag and give it to them. "

 

 - "No! of course not!" Jennie refuses strongly.

 

 "Jennie, you can't stay on the run forever.."

 

 - "I don't care, I won't give your money to them!" She dissents, "I.. "

 

She looks down at her hands that were laying on her thighs while clinging tightly to her pants, " I wasn't thinking right, I acted foolishly. You aren't obligated to do anything to me. If you report me now, it's what I deserv-"

 

Jennie pauses when she feels Jisoo's soft hand on top of her hand, gently pressing on it.

 

She looks up and finds Jisoo looking at her with a great concern.

 

Looking directly at Jennie's eyes, making sure to keep her tone calm and gentle, she follows:

"Jennie, it's not your fault..stop blaming yourself.  Please take it and get your life back."

 

Jennie stares at her for a moment, can't help but feel how messed up and ironic her situation is.

 

'what life? the only life I felt was in your arms.'

 

 Jisoo pulls her hand away and gets up and once she lifted it Jennie felt the emptiness surrounds her again.

 

 "If you're insistent, let me talk to them.." she stands in front of her desk as she did before. 

 

 "No! Don't do anything! They are dangerous people!" She warns her.

 

 - "You know they are dangerous and yet you don't want to take it?" She asks in disbelief as she turns around giving her back to Jennie, searching for something between the files.

 

"Do you really expect me to let you go outside the mansion after knowing that?"

 

They were able to talk to each other normally because they didn't mention what happened yesterday so far. Jennie noticed that because Jisoo kept the conversation runs about money and her problem only, but she didn't lose sight of the important matter and she still feels its weight on her chest.

 

She has to apologize.

 

When she sees Jisoo has turned around, she gathers her courage, gets up, and saunters until she stands behind Jisoo. Clasping her hands together and processing what she's gonna say.

 

 "At least let me make sure you stay safe-"

 

When Jisoo finds the file she searched for, she turns around and gets surprised by Jennie's presence this close, making her slightly wince with her right hand holding the file and Jennie still looking down.

 

 "Jennie?"

 

Jennie moves her hand and grasp Jisoo's free hand, holding it with the same strength as Jisoo did before.

 

Jisoo can see Jennie's lips slightly trembling, that opens a little and closes, her eyebrows tilted down towards the end and the way she's holding her hand..All those makes her understand what Jennie aches to say.

 

 "Ji-Jisoo.." in a faint voice.

 

 Jisoo closes her fingers around Jennie's hand and tightens her grip.

 

 "Jennie, I know.. you don't have to say anything."

 

 - "No. I have to.." Jennie insists, "Jisoo.. I'm..I'm.." she trails off not able to find the right words.

 

How all the expressions of apology are not enough? And all words seem useless..how can she express it all at once?  How can she convey her feelings to her with a few words without appearing incomplete? How is it possible with all the huge number of words exist in this world and there isn't one single word sufficient? 

 

Why does 'I'm sorry' seems so little?

 

 Jisoo gets closer to her when she sees her eyes glistening with tears.

 

 "Jennie, I know, believe me. I know what you feel now, no need to say anything. It's done." she assures her, keeping the same calm tone.

 

Yes, it's done. She was right, from the beginning, their end was clear.

 

Jennie now feels sorry and wants to apologize, she's aware of this and aware of why she can't say anything either because she herself feels exactly the same. Whatever she says it will seem incomplete and insufficient, and she's also aware that what she's about to say now, will be harsh on her maybe but it's a must.

 

 "Jennie, just take the money and live the life you always wanted and don't allow what happened yesterday to stop you from that. Don't let it weigh your chest," she pauses a little and then, "no offense taken, not as if we were close anyway." Indicating that hurtful words only hurt if they came from those who are close to you. 

 

She slips her hand away gently and goes to sit behind her desk and pretends to be working on her laptop as she adds, "I hope you think carefully of what I told you."

 

 Jennie stays still for a few moments absorbing her words before She turns around and shuffles towards the door and leaves the office. Once she closes the door behind her, her tears start falling.

 

Her words are true, a person like her cannot stay with someone like her, connot be close to her and she deserves the best..she knows this well, but why does this fact hurts her so much now?

 

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 Mr. Park in his Mercedes, on his way home after attending the business party he had with his son and a few partners.

 

 During the road, Mr. Park notices that the driver, instead of driving forward, he heads to the road on the right, changing the road. This made him surprised and he adjusts his sitting.

 

 "What are you doing? This's the wrong way!" He scolds him but the driver seems unbothered.

 

They enter a dark and secluded road, bordered with trees.

 

 "Are you deaf? I'm talking to you! Where are you heading?"

 

 The driver stops the car on the side of the road.

 

 "Why did you stop?  What the hell are yo-"

 

With a swift move, he turns towards Mr. Park and takes out a pistol, shots him two times in the chest and gets out of the car. 

 

Throws the weapon away into the woods, removes the gloves and throws them too.  He enters the woods for a few minutes and goes out on his bike, and heads in the opposite direction from they were facing.

 

 

. . . . . . . . .

 

 

10:30 p.m., Jisoo has just returned from the work dinner. Min Yoo takes her coat at the door and she plods her way up.

 

 She reaches her room and enters, flicks the light on, drags herself to bed and flops herself onto it.

 

Tired and exhausted, it was a long meeting. 

 

Stays resting on her stomach for minutes while breathing steadily to then she lies on her back and raises her upper half, she has to change her clothes and bathe and then go to sleep.

 

 She gets up fully, heads towards the makeup table, and begins to remove the earrings from her ears when her eyes falls on a white folded paper placed on the table and pauses.

 

Furrowing in confusion, she lowers her hand, takes the paper, and unfolds it.

 

It's a message.

 

she starts reading it,

 

«  Jisoo, I know what I'm going to say is unfair this way, but please understand me.

 

It is also unfair to take your money that you earned with your hardwork and pay it to people who don't deserve it.If anyone has to be held accountable, then it will be my father. If someone has to pay, then it will be him. If anyone has to be punished, it's him. I don't want to involve you with me anymore.

 

I only took a little money that is enough for me to get out of Jeju. I know someone who was friends with my dad, he can help me with this. I promise that I will return it to you as soon as I could.

 

 Jisoo.. I'm sorry for not being able to find the right words that can erase the harm I caused to you, to fix the damage that is done..I'm sorry for not being able to offer you anything in the end..I'm sorry because I only know this word, I'm sorry.  

 

I'm sorry that you had to hear all that from me..I'm sorry that I entered your life like this..I'm sorry to the limit that has no limits.

 

 Jisoo..you have the most beautiful and honest smile I have ever seen, Sorry I said it was fake, nobody is fake other than me.

 

 I'm sorry that I called you a spoiled girl, I don't think that a person who has a welcoming warm heart like yours is a spoiled person.  I'm sorry that I interfered with your personal life, I was just a foolish girl, feeling jealous.

 

 And Thank you.. Thank you for bringing me to me again. You brought my heart back to life.

 

You are the God's gift to me and the heaven's apology.

 

 I will always remember you, I don't think I will ever get past you. Perhaps in another life and other circumstances, if we were born again and met you there, I will never leave your side.

 

Perhaps it's many years from now that we meet again, maybe we can get to know each other and become friends. How I wish that could be achieved. I would stay with you and contemplate your smile forever. Only if I could keep looking at you, that would be enough for me.  I would be very happy if you accepted me then.

 

 But now, someone like me will only bring you harm.  So it's for the better.

 

I would have asked you to leave me a small place in your heart that reminds you of me, but I trust that I have not left you any good memories about me. And that will be my endless regret and my unforgivable guilt.

 

 I Pray for you to stay safe and healthy.

 

Yours sincerely, 

Jennie. »

 

Cold silence...

 

 "Ah, so this is how her handwriting looks like..It's beautiful."

 

A drop of salty water falls on the paper.

 

 "As you want, Jennie, do as you like. You're right, this is better..this is better-"

She pauses when a small cry gets stock in .

 

 "If this's better..Why my chest feels so tight right now?"

 

 

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To be continued 

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 A/N: 2 chapters left