BGM suggestion: BTS - 'Euphoria' lofi ver. by Smyang

 

“It was all a dream,” I think when I wake up. I'm convinced of it, until I see the notebook on my nightstand. From that moment, I spend the whole damn Saturday questioning my sanity, almost driving myself crazy for real. I decide to go back to the Magic Shop tomorrow. To be sure of which one it is: am I crazy or is this world crazy? Well, turns out it's the latter. As promised, the Magic Shop appears and Ji Min is there. He welcomes me warmly, serves mint tea, offers clouds and discusses with me as if I'm a long time friend. What a weekend...     I enter one of the college's amphitheater for my class. As it's my habit, I sit alone and none of the people entering after me come sit near. I watch the other students, stuck in groups, chatting and laughing loudly. There was a time I believed this was all futile, that I didn't need any of it. Then I noticed the time I spent crying at night was becoming longer and the pain was growing bigger. Doing this, watching from outside, rather than strengthening my initial belief makes me feel more lonely. I stopped doing it. Usually, I opte for busying myself with my phone or my computer. But I can't help it as my conversation with Ji Min back on Friday night replays in my head. “I don't have any friends and I can't make any.” “Why?” “I...” I swallowed and sighed deeply. “I was bullied in middle school and high school. Now I just can't let people approach me, let alone open up to them. It's too scary.” “I see. You're completely closed off because of a trauma.” “I guess...” “It's okay, it's nothing definitive. You have the time to heal, learn and