first love
UNCHANGEABLEthe sound of lips meeting and heavy breathing fills the room.
seulgi and joohyun were exchanging kisses, their lips playing an old symphony only the two of them knew. they were kissing like nothing has changed between them, kissing like they never broke up.
seulgi thinks she should pull back, or that joohyun should pull back, but the latter is kissing her over and over, ravishing and her lips like those are the only thing she wanted all this time.
rationality is long gone by the time joohyun moves above to straddle seulgi. they kissed and kissed more as seulgi wraps an arm around joohyun's waist, hugging the woman closer.
this prompts joohyun to place her arms around seulgi's shoulder, pushing the latter to lean further against the couch.
that's when seulgi groans due to her injury.
"gosh. i'm sorry!" joohyun pulls back quickly in shock. "i'm sorry. i forgot!"
"i'm fine," says seulgi, wincing, massaging her shoulder. "don't worry. it doesn't hurt that much now like before."
"i'm sorry. i got carried awa--"
"one more sorry, and i'll kiss you again, joohyun."
joohyun stops and blushes. she presses her lips together and opts for tenderly seulgi's shoulder with her hand instead.
seulgi silently takes in their position: how joohyun is still sitting on her lap, legs folded on either side of her legs. she touches joohyun's waist, making the latter look at her.
"do you have to go home tonight?"
joohyun's hand on seulgi's shoulder stops. she looks at seulgi, then shakes her head.
"i'm supposed to be at work now."
seulgi nods. "sleep with me here tonight?"
joohyun blinks. her face softens. she nods.
---
there are a lot of questions sitting at the back of seulgi's head now, waiting to be voiced out.
'what happened to you and junmyeon last night? did you had ? or were you not in the mood cos you're worrying about me?'
'does your husband know you didn't go to work tonight? will you tell him what happened to us?'
'what will happen to us after this? did we just cheat on him? are we back together now?'
but seulgi knows asking those questions would either make or break them. she's not ready for any of it yet, not sure of what to do about it yet. whichever path they take, someone will surely get hurt--and seulgi knows she'll always be on the losing side.
so, she keeps shut all throughout the night. joohyun's silence tells her the other woman is thinking of the same thing--trying to avoid the elephant in the room.
they hug each other that night, basking into each other's warmth. there were no kisses, no sensual touches. they were simply hugging each other--their mouths kept shut.
the night went deep. joohyun eventually falls asleep. seulgi is joohyun's hair, listening to her breathing. she noticed the black eye bags under the other woman's eyes. joohyun must be tired.
seulgi protectively holds joohyun in her arms. the absence of the voices in her head puts her to sleep in minutes.
tomorrow it'll be different. tomorrow they will go back to their normal lives--they will go back to how they treat each other.
whatever happened tonight is just a slip in the crack, a crack the two of them should never fall into again.
---
panic seethe through her veins when seulgi wakes up alone on the bed. she gets up in a hurry, almost running out of the room, only to find joohyun outside, setting the table for them.
"morning!" joohyun greets. but she noticed the worried look on seulgi's face. "you okay?"
seulgi finally breathes. "yeah... i... i didn't see you..." she points at the bedroom.
"oh. well, i woke up early and prepared these." joohyun gestures to the food. "were you worried i already left?"
seulgi feels shy about getting caught. she looks down and pouts, eventually admitting it with a hesitant nod.
joohyun smirks. "don't worry. i won't leave without letting you know. besides, i need to clean your wound first. but i'd have to leave after a little while."
"yeah. of course..."
joohyun smiles. "c'mon. eat with me."
seulgi nods again.
---
"it was around seven in the morning when she came knocking on my door," says sunmi, eyes focussed on the road as she drives to the shelter. "i was ready to cover up for you until i found out you left without telling me. she asked me a lot of things, even showed me the broken glass she found in your trash bin. she was worried as . i felt sorry for her, so i ended up blurting out what happened the night before."
seulgi grimaces as she looks out the car window. joohyun must have really panicked yesterday.
"how can you stomach making her worry like that?" asks sunmi. "she's trying her best to hold her tears in front of me. i wanted to help her, but i don't have any clue about your whereabouts. we couldn't reach you either. i think she waited in your apartment until around lunchtime? she left and went back after dinner. doesn't she have work to attend to?"
"she's on night shift schedule yesterday," says seulgi. "she probably went home to pick yerim from school and prepared for work before going back to the apartment to check."
"wow. you know her schedule, huh? and all of those efforts, just for kang seulgi? tsk. tsk. tsk." she shakes her head. "you know, if you weren't injured, i've already beaten you up for hurting her like that."
seulgi smiles a little. "yeah. seungwan and sooyoung scolded me for the same thing this morning. i know it's my fault."
sunmi hums. "so, how's you and joohyun? have you two talked about it? she went to you after her work, right? i saw her leave your apartment this morning."
sunmi doesn't have any idea about what happened last night, and seulgi wants to keep it at that.
"yeah. we talked and said our sorry's." seulgi turns to the side, propping an elbow on the window and touching her lips. "we're okay now."
---
days went by. seulgi and joohyun never talked about what happened. it never happened again, either--or anything close to that.
they stayed as 'friends' and would talk and share ideas as normal friends do. weekly day-outs with yerim is a thing now whenever joohyun's on her day off.
seulgi's mornings got busier as they finally found the perfect lot for their shelter. as expected, sunmi has been a great help. they began the construction and, seulgi feels more fulfilled this time around.
---
"mommy, were you daddy's first love?"
seulgi lifts her head from her sketchpad to look at the little girl sitting across from her on the table.
"hmm? what was that, baby?" joohyun asks from the kitchen.
"first love," yerim reiterates. "like his first girlfriend?"
seulgi then turns to the kitchen, looking at joohyun, who's busy transferring the food in a bowl.
"ah. no. your daddy had a lot of relationships before me. he said he used to be a player when he was younger."
"a lot?" yerim frowns. "like how many?"
"i don't know. never thought of asking him the details."
yerim folds her arms over her chest. "hmp! i don't like that daddy had other girlfriends aside from you!"
joohyun chuckles, removing her apron. she joins them and puts the food on the table. "why?"
"i just don't like it! it should be you, mommy!"
seulgi is secretly chuckling as well by now.
"hey. what's important is i'm the one he married, right?" says joohyun.
"but i still don't like it!"
and seulgi doesn't like it either. how she wishes junmyeon could have married one of his previous girlfriends instead of joohyun.
anyway, that's something not in her control so she goes back to whatever she's sketching, trying to continue where she left at.
"why are you asking me that, baby? did you learn that from school?" joohyun stands beside seulgi and places a hand on her shoulder.
the small fit of jealousy seulgi's feeling earlier vanishes when joohyun starts lightly massaging her shoulder. it lightens up seulgi's mood, but she pretends she's busy with her sketching.
"it's because a boy from my class says i'm his first love and he wants me to be his girlfriend," says yerim.
"wow. isn't he bold?" joohyun sounded shocked. her fingers travel up, seulgi's nape. "and how can he say he's in love? you guys are too young to be in love."
"i don't know." yerim shrugs. "i told him i'm too young to date. daddy says i should stay away from boys while i'm studying."
"and your daddy's right. study first, baby."
joohyun's fingers now move to seulgi's ear, lightly pinching her earlobe. seulgi shudders when her skin felt tickled. she bends her neck to the side to stop joohyun from teasing her.
this elicits a small chuckle from the other woman.
"what about you, mommy? is daddy your first love?"
joohyun's hand stops. it slides back down to seulgi's shoulder.
"no. it's not him."
yerim's eyes widen. "how come? did you had many boyfriends too before him?"
"no, baby." joohyun sits down and starts putting food on yerim's plate. "i only had one relationship before your daddy. and it's... with a girl."
seulgi's eyes move back and forth between the mother and child, observing their reactions.
"a girl? your first love was with a girl?" asks yerim, slightly shocked. but seulgi can tell she's taking it positively. "does daddy knows about it?"
"yeah. he knows."
"then how old were you when you had your first love?"
"eighteen? nineteen?" she's looking at seulgi, like asking her, before she turns back to yerim. "somewhere around that. i was in uni at that time."
yerim's lips formed 'o'. "i see. will i have my first love too around that age?"
"maybe, or maybe not." joohyun puts food on seulgi's plate this time. "it depends, baby. things like that, we don't have control of when they will happen to us."
"hmm. did you two break up because of daddy?"
joohyun and seulgi look awkwardly at each other. seulgi clears .
"baby, you're watching too many dramas with your granny." joohyun covers her awkwardness with a chuckle.
"also, granny says grandpa wasn't her first love either. does that mean people rarely end up with their first love?"
"well, that happens most of the time..." joohyun puts food on her plate now. "but there are still some people who end up marrying their first love."
"why? shouldn't first love be extra special? why are people breaking up?"
"i don't know. maybe a lot of things happened..." joohyun glances at seulgi. "but breaking up doesn't mean they don't love each other anymore. maybe it's the circumstances that didn't allow them to be on the same page like before."
yerim frowns. "that's sad."
"you'll understand more of it once you're more grown-up," says joohyun.
"i wish my first love would be magical and that it would be the person i will marry someday."
"i wish the same for you, baby. but for now, focus on your studies, okay?"
"okay!" yerim smiles.
joohyun looks at seulgi, giving her a small smile.
---
"everything's set?"
seulgi nods as she pulls the door and locks it with her keys. she turns to joohyun. "yup."
"can't you wait for yerim to come home from school first? i'm sure she'll be looking for you."
seulgi glances at her wristwatch. "as much as i want to, i can't. i have a scheduled meeting with my manager later tonight."
joohyun looks down, disappointed. "is there any chance you'll visit here again, maybe regularly?"
"yeah. i'm planning to do that." seulgi pockets the keys and glances at the wooden door, touching it. "i'm keeping this apartment for myself." she looks back at joohyun. "but this time i'm paying the rent."
"you're keeping this? for what?"
"so i can have a place to stay whenever i visit the foundation office here."
"but i thought sunmi is the one handling that?"
"i still have to visit the place regularly, to check if everything is going according to the plan. my accountant says this is a cheaper option than staying in hotels whenever i visit here."
joohyun's eyebrows rose, her face lightening up.
"i can see yerim whenever i visit here," says seulgi. "i hope that will lessen her grumpiness."
"yeah. for sure she'll be grumpy once she finds out you're back in the city." joohyun sighs. "and you promised a lot of things you'll do with her once you're better, so you better keep that."
"surely, i would. i don't want my future bride to be mad at me."
"yah!" joohyun hits her playfully. "if you try anything, i'll injure you again myself."
seulgi laughs. "i know... okay?"
the laughter eventually dies down. the ambience turns serious. seulgi looks at joohyun, taking in her appearance and appreciating it. the woman is wearing a simple blouse and jeans combo, yet still looking ethereal in the shadow of the afternoon sky.
"you take care, okay?" she tells joohyun.
"shouldn't i be the one telling you that?" joohyun jokes. "call me when something happens, okay? i'm just here." she reaches out to touch seulgi's hand. "we're here for you."
"yes, ma'am. thank you."
joohyun looks away, taking in a deep breath. "it's weird. i feel nostalgic. it feels like you're going away again for a new assignment."
"same." seulgi looks down and smirks. "i guess some things don't really go away, huh?"
"yeah..." joohyun turns to her. "some things are just..." she pauses to tap her heart three times, "... untouchable."
seulgi says nothing but mimics the other woman. they stare at each other, and even if they say nothing, they both know what each other want to say.
seulgi clears . "shall we?"
joohyun drives her to the city that afternoon. seulgi offered her apartment so joohyun can rest for a few hours while seulgi's in a meeting.
joohyun says she can't stay. seulgi didn't ask why but she knows it's best for the two of them.
they gave each other a light hug before they parted ways that night.
in case you missed reading the foreword, this is a sequel story. if you haven't read untouchable yet, i suggest you go over that before proceeding with this.
enjoy!
enjoy!
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