My Love,

my heart is still in pain from the loss of your touch, your closeness, your beautiful laugh. Your scent still lingers on my clothes, my fingertips are tingling from your soft skin, the electricity running through my body. My lips desire yours, the taste so sweet and soft. I swear to god I still taste you.
It’s funny how it lingers.
The excitement wouldn’t leave my body, I’m chasing those memories so I can look into your eyes and fall deep, deeper than I’ve been fallen. I’m lost in a fantasy, where I’m in your arms, close to your chest.
I want you to hear my heart yearning for you, calling your name, wanting your presence.

My body remembers every moment with you, the places we went and how many times we got lost. My body remembers all the decisions we made, the mistakes we did and the danger we got in.
But nothing hurts more than my crying heart who’s still trapped under your spell. I’m hypnotized by you, it’s like I can taste you, smell you, feel you.

Our love was like magic, as fast as a train, as strong as the force it brought with it. Do you remember us together in this train? The train that went so fast, that the outside world ran just like our time together?

How do I wish the time would stand still. One hour, one minute, one second is all I need. I want to cherish you as long as I can, as long as my heart is screaming for you.

The train took us to a place no one else could enter. A world where I could be with you, a world where you could be with me. A world where we could be together. A place where we can be alone, a place where I could give you my endless love. A place where the time stands still for a short moment. The train went forward not stopping for one moment until we reached our destination. We didn’t know where the train took us, all we wanted was to go home.

People surrounding us, unbothered by me or by you. I had you, you had me, we had each other. You were sitting close to me, scared of me leaving your side. I promised you I wouldn’t leave you, I told you to hold my hand tight. I assured you many times, repeated my sentence over and over again. Pushing away, my own fear of loosing the person I love the most, the person I’d give my whole live to. The person that gave me strength and gave me everything I asked for in return. I gave you one request I wanted you to return to my side whenever we part our ways. I wanted to keep you by my side forever.

The train reached it’s destination, we stepped out, not knowing where we are, taking in our surroundings. The sunset lingered over the horizon, the darkness evolved the light. It got darker and darker. But neon lights brought back the light. Revealing an alley we wandered around holding each other close, leaving no space between us. Suddenly a crowd of people started to walk past us, pushing us. We held onto each other as much as we could. I couldn’t dare to loose you again, not this time. Your grip on my hand loosened, my grip on you became stronger, but you slipped through my fingers. Pulled away by some stranger. My eyes widened at the loss of your touch, I panicked.

The moment we were parted, the pain in my chest got too big to bear, my breath stuck in my lungs. My brain not functioning because of the loss of air. Everything around me starts to spin. My eyes searched for your presence. Until I found you, your eyes were searching mine through the crowd of unknown faces. We were able to find each other and found our way back together. We struggled to get closer, too many obstacles between us, things that wanted us to be parted. But we didn’t care, we wanted each other more than anything else.

When you were back in my arms, my heart found peace and the pain went away, air rushed through my lungs. Your scent reviving my body. My energy coming back, my muscles becoming stronger, my eyes becoming darker with desire. I held most of my emotions within me, too scared to crash you, hurt you. I couldn’t forgive myself if I ever hurt you.

I knew you loved my gentle touches, my warm embrace, my strong arms ready to protect you. I saw the stars in your eyes whenever you looked into mine. You got lost in my dark orbs, just like I did. You are falling deeper and deeper into my spell. Lost in your own fantasy, hypnotized by my magic.

We found a place, yet again unfamiliar.   But we didn’t care, you had me, I had you, we had us. A place where we could be alone. We entered the small space, it was yet dark again, but I found my way through the darkness together with you. Your eyes were the brightest thing I ever saw, you were my light in the deepest darkness. You enlightened the room and guided me to places I’ve never been before. Your skin sparkled like a reflection of the stars that surround the full moon. A constellation lingered over your complexion.

I slowly pulled the fabric away, that covered your arm. My lips hovered over your exposed shoulder, your body reacted to the attention I gave to the small part of your body. I left a soft kiss at the spot, traveled further. Tracing your collarbone followed by small and soft kisses, to scared to damage the surface. I reached the base of your neck and planted a firm kiss on the center and traveled up until I reached you ear. I whispered sweet nothings into your ear. The sound that escaped your lips, another response to my actions, started a fire within me and my desire for you got more.

Your breathing got deep and heavy, but steady. My breathing matched yours, excitement filled both our bodys. Yet again, I hovered over you, but this time over your sweet plump lips, I couldn’t resist any longer. My body worked automatically and lowered itself onto you. My body pressed against yours, my hands exploring every inch of your body, searching for any imperfection. Our lips finally connected, not ready to let go. I parted my lips, I bit your lower lip, asking for permission to explore more of you.

And you let me.

You trusted me as much as I trusted you. You let me drive, not even once tried to take away the handle. Not once did you stopped me.

Our bodys worked in sync, not getting enough from each other. Leaving no space between us, as we move a steady rhythm. But I wanted more, more of your body. I searched for more, more contact. Skin to skin. I wanted us to be as close as possible, as close as we could get.

Was it possible? I don’t know.

Adrenaline rushed through our bodys, we moved faster. Removed all fabric that closed our gate for intimacy. Parting our bodys only for small seconds and finding our warmth again. The moment our skins touched, the more electricity shot through my body, my heart was racing, my mind went numb.

Sweet sounds of love and pleasure filled the room together with heavy breathing. We both were ready to enter the next level of intimacy, my anticipation going ahead.

We connected, the energy rising up. I moved faster as your sweet lips told me so. Our lips connected again. Passion, desire and love, all these emotions, were in that kiss. I wanted you to remember this moment as much as I do. I wanted the moment to last for longer, but I knew we were close to our high. We both needed the release, the satisfaction.

We drove each other over the edge. The pressure in our body started to risen, begging for release. Our breathing got faster, my movements lost their steady rhythm. We slowly climbed up our highs until we reached it. I spilled my whole heart and love into you. I embraced you in my arms, holding you tight. Waiting until our breathing calmed down. I could feel your arms framing my body, your lips on my forehead, placing a small kiss. My head laid on your chest, listening to the music of your heart. My eyes closing slowly, all those emotions exhausted my body, it was limp. My muscles had no strength in them, but I knew I could let go when I’m in your arms.Your hand the top of my head, brushing all hair away from my vision.

Your body so warm, your scent so sweet, the taste on your lips too addicting. i wanted this moment to last. I wanted to find a place called home together with you, but I know our time together is short. And your memory soon gone.

You’ll look at me, the way you look at strangers. But I’ll pull you away from them, a person who tries to take you away from me. We both will enter this train again, we both will travel together again, searching a place we could call home. A place where you have me, a place where I have you, a place where we both are together.

I’ll remember your face, but you’ll forget mine. I’ll see the same light in your eyes again, when you fall in love with me. You’ll again, get lost in my eyes and I’ll get lost in yours. Your love will be new, mine will be old. And my desire for you will stay the same and yours will be youthful and inexperienced.

Our love was not typical.

We both are lost in a fantasy, chasing those memories. I remember and remember. We made our love memorable.

Until next time we meet again.

Sincerely yours

Lee Hoseok

And yet again, there was you sitting in front of me on this train. Looking at me the way you look at strangers.