Kang Seulgi is tired. Although she has known all along where she is going – she did, after all, pick the place personally out of the hundreds, if not thousands, other available offers - La Ronge in Saskatchewan, Canada is still much further away than she could possibly ever imagine.

The flight from Seoul to Vancouver was quite smooth, but she supposes that she has Korean Air’s Business Class to thank for that. It was late notice, but the agent whom she had hired to handle the tickets was also able to get her a direct transport from a small airport near Vancouver to Barber Field, the cargo airport doubling as a passenger terminal in the area. He didn’t mention, however, that the means of transport will be a small, cramped and dangerous looking light aircraft that shook with every gust of wind that hit it as they flew.

The only staff available in the cabin was sending Seulgi stares that quite unambiguously indicated whose luggage it was that she thought was responsible for the added weight and the consequent imbalance.       

It’s been over thirty hours since Seulgi left her house and she is ready to crush into the bed prepared for her.

Still, the artist in her does not allow her not to appreciate the views around her. The Vancouver area was already different, sure, but it was mostly cement and relatively gloomy looking neighbourhoods that she passed by in the taxi on her way to the other take-off place. La Ronge, however, it is something different. Located much further up North, it is surrounded by snowy mountains reflecting the sunlight and icy blue lakes that she saw from up there. As she descends the stairs from the plane directly into the runway, she cannot help but stop mid-way, taking a long look around.

Minus ten degrees Celsius doesn’t sound like a paradise but to Seulgi, it miraculously begins to seem so. Her suitcase is given to her directly, right there and then, and she zips up, putting her gloves on before dragging the luggage behind her in search of yet another taxi. Everything looks exactly as Son Seungwan described that it would, down to the short row of three cars waiting on chance passengers along the pavement. She opens her rucksack, looking for the address she had printed out before leaving but she doesn’t have to worry. An older, balding gentleman gets off the car and approaches her quickly.

‘Are you Seol…gi Kang?’ He tries his best nonetheless, offering a sincere smile. Seulgi smiles back a little unsurely.

‘Yes?’

‘Wendy’s friend, right?’ Seungwan. Wendy. Right. She nods. ‘JD has been expecting you but he’s on a long shift today so he couldn’t come fetch you personally. Asked me to keep an eye on you. Come on in, I’ll take you to Wendy’s house.’

Seulgi stands there, a little taken aback. Is this some sort of a scam? She cannot decide if she should trust the man. She has never encountered a similar situation.

The man sees her hesitation and laughs.

‘What’s goin’ on, Joe?’ Another taxi driver peaks out from his own car, surveying the situation.

‘Nay, I think the young lady doesn’t trust me. JD asked to take her to his sister’s place. Paid up front, too.’ The two laugh.

‘Miss, everyone here knows everyone. We’ve known Wendy and JD since they were in diapers, it’s a very tight community. Anyway, it’s just a twenty minute ride to town, hop in, no worries.’

Seulgi finally moves forward, a little reassured. It is true that Seungwan told her many things about the town and such strong bond among the locals fits into the picture well. She thanks the driver for his help with the bag and takes the passenger’s seat.

‘I’m Joe,’ he introduces himself properly, grinning at her and adjusting his rear-view mirror.

‘My name is Seu-‘ She pauses. ‘Please, just call me Sophie.’ It’s been a long time since she used the name that her classmates helped her pick during her university exchange in the States some years ago.

‘Sophie… Alright, Sophie,’ Joe repeats, grinning again and they’re off. The man seems to be permanently in good spirits, leading a monologue the entire drive, only asking her a little question here and there. Meanwhile, Seulgi keeps looking at their surroundings, more and more in awe of the Winter Wonderland around them.  

The taxi ride results in Seulgi learning a lot of interesting facts about the town but it is equally hard to retain them all in memory. They finally pull up in front of a small, one storey building situated in a row of other, similar looking buildings, all painted white and all attached to one another. Joe unloads her suitcase with ease, pointing to the narrow entrance right next to a bakery with a Collins’s Specials front.

‘Just open the door and go all the way up the stairs. Wendy’s apartment is the one on the left, the key is under the doormat.’

‘Is this even safe?’ Seulgi wonders out loud before she can catch herself. Joe only guffaws louder.

‘Miss, I don’t know how things are run where you come from, but here you don’t have to worry about such things.’

Before Seulgi can add anything else, an elderly lady comes out of the bakery, keys in hand.

‘Actually, the keys are right here. JD asked me to leave some groceries for the guest.’ She looks Seulgi up and down, a big smile on her face. ‘Let me look at you darling. What a beautiful young lady you are… Wendy’s friend, eh?’

Seulgi bows lightly out of habit.

‘Sophie Kang,’ she introduces herself.

‘Sophie, such a nice name for such a polite little lady. Just call me Lu. If you need anything, come by any time. There’s basic groceries upstairs and a dish for you to reheat in the oven if you’re hungry. JD, Wendy’s brother, left it in the fridge for you last night.’

The elusive JD seems to be doing a lot around here, Seulgi cannot help but think as she bows again in thanks. She turns to Joe.

‘How much do I owe you?’

‘As I said, it’s already been paid for,’ he dismisses. She still extends her hand with a ten Canadian dollar bill.

‘Do you take tips, then?’ She smiles. Joohyun always tells her that her smile is very child-like and sincere looking. The man scratches his head before accepting.

‘Alright, then. When it’s time to go back, call on me. I’ll give you a discounted fare.’ Seulgi nods.

Joe eventually helps her with the suitcase all the way up to the door where they part. There is only one lock, right under the handle. She turns the key once and she’s already inside.

The apartment is not very big and has certainly seen better days, but Seulgi doesn’t mind. There is a small area for the jackets and shoes, and another door that leads straight to the small kitchen. It is an open space that connects with something akin to a living room, a worn out blue coach and a television set completing the decor. One door to a small bathroom with a shower and another one to a small bedroom that can only contain a double bed and a wardrobe. Seulgi inspects it all, shoes off but still in her thick winter coat, before plopping right onto the coach.

She’s really done it this time.

She’s finally gone insane.

For a brief moment, she closes her eyes, wishing to be transported back to her own house with an office space, her favourite coffee mug in hand and her laptop powered up, ready for another day of work. But then she immediately remembers the impasse she is in, the impossibility to write anything, to do anything. The slump that has lasted for far too long. That’s why she’s come here, so far away from Cheongju.

Son Seungwan must have been really shocked when she received a message from Seulgi that day. Seulgi hadn’t really been looking for anything in particular, maybe just the distance from her own location. Seungwan’s photo looked friendly and her description a chord in Seulgi, because it sounds very familiar to her own predicament. Seungwan wanted a holiday. A holiday from life.

Since Seulgi parted ways with Jongin, things just haven’t been the same. She was nearing thirty and ready for commitment; he wasn’t and she now thinks that he might never be. The standard cliché, though it’s not her problem anymore.

But it left her miserable and vulnerable and later, when she recovered from the emotional bruise, still unable to write. Her editor has been pressing for a new draft, or summary, or anything but she just cannot. She has written three romance novels and a drama scenario, all received very well domestically, but for the first time in her life, the muse is gone. There is nothing romantic to write about. Everything has already been written – vampires, aliens, The Notebook. Seulgi wants her next book to be relatable to people her age, rather than just young readers looking for a tall and handsome male lead to fantasise about.

When she wrote the script for On a Warm, Spring Day, they cast a young, popular idol to play the part. Seulgi was upset not only at his acting, but also at herself. She began to wonder whether she can ever write a male character who can be desirable despite their flaws and humanity. Not just another brooding youth with a pretty face.

That frustrated her even more because the answer at that time was no, she did not seem to possess the ability to go beyond her representative genre. She’d spent three years with Jongin, a third generation chaebol who on the surface appeared to be the embodiment of the archetype she often writes about. But he ended up being more of a villain in her personal story, than anything else.

Yes, Seulgi opens her eyes again. Yes, she really needs this holiday from life. Even if it’s just for two weeks. She needs to walk around, get a taste of the local cuisine and freeze her legs off on hikes around the lakes. Maybe then her stories will gain a little more depth at least setting wise.

There is a bag from the supermarket sitting on the small kitchen table. Eggs, a loaf of bread, some fruit. There is also a letter from Seungwan with some basic instructions about how to run the heaters and such, though the apartment is already pleasantly toasty so that has been taken care off. Seulgi opens the fridge, a minced meat casserole in a glass dish occupying the middle shelf. She takes it out and puts it in the oven for twenty minutes as instructed by the small post-it note with a terribly messy hand writing on top of the lid.

Turning on the shower is a little more complicated because it’s very old, but she manages. Seungwan has left her new bed sheets and towels, the latter one of which Seulgi grabs, along with her pyjamas and goes back to the bathroom for a hot shower. There is no window and the shower curtain is a little ripped but Seulgi doesn’t pay any attention to such details. The feeling of washing herself after what feels like forever is heavenly.

There is no place for her suitcase in Seungwan’s bedroom so she leaves it open behind the couch, taking out only her necessities. Just as she dresses up in her night wear and a sweater, a towel turban on her head, the oven bell rings, indicating meal time. The food is tasty, or maybe she’s just extremely hungry since she hasn’t eaten anything almost the entire day. She doesn’t bother with plates, she just eats the entire thing straight from the dish. She doesn’t know if this was supposed to last her for more than one meal but she will have to think of another alternative when the time comes.

She puts the empty dish into the sink to soak and brushes her teeth before collapsing into bed.

She wakes up at three thirty am, unable to fall back asleep. Frustrated, she looks for her laptop, taking a seat at the small sofa and imputing the wifi password she has found on a piece of paper on the kitchen counter. The signal is weak but to be honest, Seulgi doesn’t really want to know what’s going on back home. Doesn’t want to look at another disappointed email from her editor.

Well, save for Seungwan and her situation. The woman has sent her a couple of whatsup messages earlier when Seulgi was still up in the air and she replied, but then fell asleep almost immediately. She writes back now, to some new messages, telling the other not to worry about a thing and that it’s all good.

Then she messages Joohyun who must have worried a lot. It’s all good, I’m fine, she assures her friend as well.

Seulgi falls asleep again, her MacBook still on her lap.

 

 

 

Seulgi wakes up abruptly, still in the same position and with her neck uncomfortably tight. The dead laptop is still on her lap, and she wipes her face lethargically, realising that there is drool in the corner of her lips. She groans.

From the corner of her eye, she spots movement and she nearly falls off the couch at the sight, barely saving her device before it crashes on the floor. She untangles herself from the blankets and puts the laptop away. The apartment is quite bare, there is nothing much that she can grab for self-defence, only an empty flower vase so she does.

There is a man about her age standing on the other side of the room where the kitchenette is, one of his eyebrows quirked up and looking like he is desperately trying not to burst out laughing. All the more when he realises her choice of weapon.

‘Nugu-’ She recovers quickly, switching to English. ‘Who are you?’ Damn, and the taxi driver said that the neighbourhood is safe.

The man finally chuckles, putting his hands up in the air, though it’s probably more for comic effect that fear for his life. He is still holding a bottle of milk in one of them.

‘I did knock. Twice. I’m JD, Wendy’s older brother,’ he introduces himself. It takes a moment for Seulgi to connect the dots because the sleep she got the night before was clearly not enough.

‘You’re Jongdae?’ She asks surprised, finally lowering the vase and putting it back on its original shelf.

‘Been some time since anyone called me that.’ He chuckles again. ‘Yeah, JD or… Jongdae.’ Hi accent is thick as he pronounces his Korean name. ‘Either one works.’

Seulgi frowns.

‘Wait, Seungwan told me that you were twins.’

‘Five minutes is still five minutes,’ he states, only half joking. ‘I’m still older.’ Seulgi smiles at the joke. ‘Sorry for barging in like that, by the way, I really didn’t mean to. It’s just that I had a late night a work yesterday so I couldn’t come to check on you and when you didn’t answer just now, I got worried. Won’t happen again, though, promise.’

‘What time is it?’ Seulgi wipes at her face again, yawning and heavily sitting at the table.

‘Almost nine am, m’am.’ He smiles. Only then does she realise that she didn’t introduce herself.

‘Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m still so out of it. My name is Seulgi. But I think maybe using my English name will be easier for you? You can just call me Sophie.’

‘Nay, Seulgi… I like that. Seulgi,’ he repeats to himself, turning back to the bag he’s brought. His accent is still thick but perhaps due to his roots, his pronunciation is much softer than the taxi driver’s. Seulgi finds that she doesn’t dislike it so she lets it be.

‘Well, I totally overslept but at least I don’t have anywhere to go for the next two weeks,’ Seulgi mumbles to herself. Jongdae looks at her wistfully.

‘Are you really planning to just sit here in Wen’s ty apartment doing nothing for a fortnight?’

‘Oh, no. No. I just… I just needed a break from my own routine. She did mention our agreement, didn’t she?’

‘Oh, yeah, she did. She did,’ he repeats, sitting down and taking out a big container with pancakes and coffee. ‘Hungry?’

‘I’m…’ He stomach chooses that moment to rumble. ‘…Very hungry indeed.’ He chuckles and loads half of the content onto her plate, sliding the coffee towards her right after.

‘I didn’t know what you liked so I just took a plate of pancakes and a double double. Hope it’s alright.’

‘What’s a double double?’ Seulgi looks back up at him, mouth full of food. She doesn’t waste any time digging in. He grins at her, pours more maple syrup on top of her breakfast.

‘Two creams, two sugars. Wen always tells me the dose will eventually kill me but if that’s the case, I’ll go down like a champ.’

He drinks his own coffee for a moment, looking at his companion.

‘You know, I thought it was absolutely insane of my sister to just drop everything and suddenly escape to the other side of the world a week before Christmas.’

‘But..?’ There is a but for sure. The man sighs.

‘But, it also reminded me so much of how driven she used to be, ten years ago when she first went off to college. She was suddenly so determined to just go to Korea and live her best life for those two weeks, it was the first time in a long while that I saw that spark in her. Even if it did feel like an escape.’

‘She doesn’t like it here, does she?’ Seulgi comments, leaning away.

‘She hates it here.’ Jongdae’s lips stretch in a smile, but it doesn’t seem to reach his eyes. ‘She thinks that living here means that she’s failed at life. And because of that, she has kinda given up on herself. Just look at this shabby place, she’s had so many years to make it hers and she never bothered.’

‘So how’s living here?’ This time his grin is a little more genuine.

‘It’s not for everyone, that’s for sure. But it’s quiet… It is perhaps a strange way to put it, but life feels purposeful here, at least for me it does.’ He nods at his own words. She nods back. That’s some food for thought right there. ‘So you know, I was a little curious about you because of it. I figured that not many people would want to switch houses with a person like my sister, who lives in a town so remote and devoid of entertainment.’

‘What conclusion did you reach?’ Seulgi asks after a while of silence. He shrugs.

‘Just that you must probably feel as empty as my sister does.’

Seulgi thinks that in a way, Jongdae is not wrong.

 

 

Seulgi changes into warm clothes and takes Jongdae up on his offer to take her around their small town. He surveys her best winter shoes with a mixture of consternation and pity before shaking his head. Seulgi ends up wearing Seungwan’s snow boots which are miraculously a very similar size. Her own are apparently not strong enough to withstand the cold and moisture.

La Ronge is located in central Saskatchewan, coincidentally also in one of its thickest boreal forests. Everything had happened so fast that Seulgi did not really have the time to learn much about the place or its flora before arrival, but she now thinks that even just admiring it all from afar is enough. It truly does look like a Winter Wonderland, despite the mountains of snow that overwhelm pretty much everything, both human and inanimate. To the locals, it surely is a bother they have had no choice but to adjust to but to Seulgi, it feels like a breath of fresh air.

Quite literally. 

Just like Joe the previous day, Jongdae is also quite chatty, pointing out to various buildings as they pass them by and greeting at least just as many people – he seems to know everyone. Seulgi only half listens to his stories about how many restaurants they have here (three) and what the locals usually occupy themselves with (selling wood and seafood); the other half of her is greedily taking in the visuals. She has never been much of a traveller type, but now she has to wonder why. It’s these kinds of experiences that tend to fuel imagination and nurture the soul of a writer.

‘I’d like to take a hike in the woods,’ she mumbles more to herself than to the man, but he takes note anyway.

‘Could potentially be dangerous at this time of year, but if the weather remains as is, I think we can organise something the following weekend. ‘

‘Oh, I wouldn’t want to bother you…’ He grins.

‘Do not, and I repeat, do not go out there by yourself, alright? It’s not a bother. I’m sure there will be a couple people willing to join us, it’s a relaxing activity. Just… do not go alone. It’s not just any forest, there are swamps around and with this level of snow and they can give you a very nasty surprise. I’d rather not have you on my conscience.’

She doesn’t know if he’s completely serious but she nods anyway.

‘What about the lakes? They looked beautiful from up there,’ she admits. ‘So clear and blue, like a surface of a mirror… Like a gateway to heaven,’ she mumbles again. When he doesn’t reply, she looks back at him.

‘You’re a writer, aren’t you? My sister mentioned something about it.’ Seulgi nods. ‘Anything I might have read?’

‘Well, I write in Korean. Plus, you’re off my target readership by about fifteen years, not to mention the gender.’ She smiles and he chuckles. ‘I’ve written three romance novels, a script for television as well.’

‘Oh, Korean drama?’ He whistles in appreciation as he takes left, but Seulgi cannot really tell if it’s not by any chance mockery. ‘My mother used to like those. Especially the one called Ice Girl? I watched a couple episodes with her, I remember, it was quite ridiculous. But considering we are for the majority of time surrounded by snow here, it was also ironically fitting.’

Seulgi doesn’t follow up with anything in order not to make the mood awkward. Seungwan has told her about her mother’s passing. Instead, Seulgi decides to steer it back to the original topic of conversation.

‘After my first novel became popular, a channel contacted me with an offer to write a story for them and I agreed.’ She winces at the memories. ‘It was a dramatic plot, in which the male character dies at the end, defending his beloved from an attack of the villain.’ She can tell even without looking that Jongdae is grinning hard at the cheesiness of the premise. ‘But you know, I was so mad. They hired a pretty boy idol to play the part of Kim Gun, the main character, and he was so bad at acting, I hated every minute of looking at him.’ Jongdae parks his pick-up track on the side of the road and looks at her, mirth in his eyes. ‘Wow, I never actually said this to anyone, not even my best friend. But I hated him so, so much.’

Jongdae doesn’t comment but it’s clear that he finds it all extremely funny. They both get off the vehicle.

‘Where are we?’ She looks around.

‘Well, Wen’s apartment is just at the end of this street.’ He points ahead. ‘Is there anywhere you want to go or anything you’d like to do? Do you prefer to go back and rest?’

‘Not really.’ She ponders. ‘How about you direct me to a coffee shop? I’ll grab my laptop and just sit there for a while.’

‘Ah, in that case.’ Jongdae seems to constantly be in a good mood and it’s contagious. ‘Why don’t we grab your things and you can follow me to work.’

‘Do you work in a coffee shop?’

‘Something like that.’ He neither shakes nor nods his head.

It takes Seulgi less than five minutes to get herself together – she doesn’t really need more than her laptop and wallet. After that, they cross two snowy streets and find themselves in front of Rose’s. Jongdae enters first, opening the door and setting off the old school bell hung above it. It’s warm inside.

The interior is on the industrial side, with the counter on the left and plenty of space to sit on the right. There are also rows upon rows of books – both new and old looking – on shelves behind the tables. Several people, children included, are walking around, reading and playing in the corner.

‘Is this a library?’ Seulgi asks, looking back at the man, who in the meanwhile has moved behind the counter.

‘It’s a little bit of everything,’ a twenty something year old looking woman next to him replies instead, though in a friendly way.

‘This is Amy, she works here most of the time,’ Jongdae introduces. ‘This is Seul- Sophie, my sister’s friend. She’s visiting for two weeks.’

‘Oh.’ Amy nods, as if everything is clear now. Maybe it is; maybe in a community like this, everyone really knows everything about others.

‘It used to be a bookstore, back when people still read books.’ He wiggles his eyebrows jokingly. Seulgi looks back at him pointedly. Really now? He laughs. ‘Paper books, at least. Three years ago, the owner retired and moved elsewhere to live with her daughter, but I thought it was a shame to close it just like that, so I bought it from her. It was a place my family used to visit a lot, when I was a child at least. My mother often did voluntary readings for children, in that corner where the toys are now. Now people come here to have coffee and rest. Others donate their old books and magazines to keep the circulation going.’

‘You’re quite the sentimental type, aren’t you,’ Seulgi observes as she approaches the counter, looking at the menu above it. It’s not long but all the basic drinks are there.

‘What if I am?’ He replies cheekily but she only smiles.

‘Nothing. I think it’s quite admirable.’ She looks back at the chart. ‘My parents have always been busy with work and I’m an only child. We don’t really have any family traditions or places we like to frequent. I think it’s nice to treasure memories like that.’

She clears , taking her wallet out of her pocket.

‘Can I get the banana and kiwi juice, please?’ Before Amy can rig her up, Jongdae dismisses.

‘It’s on the house.’

‘No, no. I have a feeling I might be here often in the next two weeks so let’s just agree that I pay for myself. You and Seungwan have already taken care of the groceries and the breakfast this morning. Even the dinner last night. And you do need to pay your employees, don’t you?’ Jongdae can’t refute that so he backs down.

‘How was the casserole, by the way?’ Seulgi passes him the five dollar note.

‘It was great. Did Seungwan make it?’

‘Wen? Please. She can’t even cook an egg.’ Jongdae bursts out laughing. ‘Of course I did.’

‘You cook?’

‘A single man living alone? Of course I cook.’ He shakes his head sadly, feigning hurt, but Seulgi thinks that she’s beginning to get used to his antics.

She eventually receives her drink and takes a seat next to the window, leaving the other two to do their work. She opens her laptop but she ends up staring at the street for a longer while. It’s not like she has never gone out in Cheongju and sat in a coffee shop. She is a local celebrity of sorts, especially in her neighbourhood, but she moved to the city almost five years ago so although the familiarity stayed, the novelty has long worn out. Sitting in a similar surroundings is nothing new, and yet, it suddenly fills her up with a certain determination. Maybe not for writing per se, but to switch her life to a higher gear.

She lived in Seoul most of her life and she’s familiar with its pace. She knows that it has never been about living in a metropolis for her, which is why she moved to Cheongju. No; this new energy that she hopes to rekindle is more like passion for doing something, for being excited about it.

Maybe the new book will help her recover that attitude but she knows that it has to be very different from what she’s written before. A romance for sure, but not another cold city guy and nice girl cliché.

Small town, she notes down a key word. Abroad? MC: Nice smile. Positive attitude. Coffee shop. Can cook? She writes as an afterthought.

‘Are you writing about me?’ Seulgi shuts her laptop on reflex, going red.

‘You scared me,’ she says, when Jongdae emerges from behind her, taking the seat opposite. ‘No,’ she adds weakly, only belatedly realising that he can’t have possibly understood a word in hangul and she curses herself for the strong reaction.

‘I think you were,’ he teases again but doesn’t say anything more about it. ‘I worked out my schedule for the next few days, by the way. I’ll be busy tomorrow but we can go see the lake on Sunday if you want.’

‘Perfect. Thank you.’ She only nods.

 

 

 

She can’t sleep at night again, courtesy of the terrible jetlag. She would have never guessed that she would be so affected. She spends her Saturday wandering around, greeting back people that greet her first. She has a meal in a seafood restaurant in front of Seungwan’s apartment and the lady from downstairs gifts her a loaf of brown bread.

She goes back to Rose’s for a coffee. Jongdae is not there, which puzzles Seulgi a little but she doesn’t ask. He’s not obliged to tell her about his business, after all –they’re virtual strangers. She tries to get her brain juices flowing instead, and writes down random ideas and key words until late at night. It’s not much, but it’s still more than she was able to until recently. 

At one, she picks up her phone and types a greeting to Seungwan. The latter calls her back right away.

‘It must be very late back in Canada,’ Seungwan sounds surprised and Seulgi cannot blame her.

‘It’s only one am. I think I’m still adjusting. Is everything alright?

They converse about their apartments for a moment and though Seulgi doesn’t really think that Seungwan’s place is subpar, she does take pride in the compliments given to her house, because she spent the majority of her savings and a good chunk of time on polishing it.

Seulgi also mentions Jongdae and his sister sounds sceptical despite Seulgi’s reassurance that everything is fine and he’s helpful.

‘He promised to take me on a boat ride tomorrow. Isn’t it a little too cold for that, though?’ She is a little worried because her app indicates more than fifteen degrees Celsius below zero. Wouldn’t the lake simply be frozen?

‘Oh, no, he knows what he’s doing. But do wear your warmest clothes. When you’re unused to our temperatures, the weather can really get to you.’

Now a little more reassured, Seulgi is really looking forward to the outing. She thinks that she should include this experience in her novel in some way. It’s not every day that she can do such an thing. She tells Seungwan as much since the latter is already privy to her writer’s block. Joohyun has been very worried of her as of lately and Seulgi hopes that upon return, she will have some good news for her friend.

They disconnect soon after and Seulgi tries her best to fall asleep.

 

 

 

She must have eventually passed out from exhaustion again but still did not get enough sleep. She is awaken by loud banging on the door after what feel like only five minutes of eye-shut. She walks to the front door, still enveloped in a thick blanket. When she opens, it’s no other than Jongdae.

‘You sure like to sleep a lot,’ he says, grinning at her.

‘What time is it?’

‘A quarter to ten.’

‘Already?’ She now remembers that they were supposed to leave at ten but she must have missed the alarm.

‘I’m- I couldn’t sleep last night. This jetlag is killing me. I’m sorry.’

‘No worries.’ He doesn’t seem to be annoyed, she notes with relief. ‘How about you get yourself ready and I’ll cook you some eggs? You can eat something more substantial later but it’s not good to go out there on an empty stomach and the boat is kinda waiting for us already.’

‘I’m so sorry. Yeah, just give me a second.’

There’s not really anyone to impress around here but even if there were, the thick winter jacket would hide even the best outfit. Seulgi puts on two layers, a jumper included, and two pairs of socks (Jongdae was right – her feet are freezing). Good moisturiser to prevent her skin from bruising completes the morning routine and she emerges to the smell of an omelette.

They leave soon after. The drive doesn’t take very long, maybe about twenty minutes or so and they pass by the airport on their way. Jongdae stops the car at the docks and having got off, he says,

‘So, you’re gonna have to change now. It’s impossible for you to go out there in this coat.’ She looks herself up and down but before she has a chance to ask what is wrong with her attire, he hands her another jacket. ‘It’s too thin, it’s black and it’s heavy.’

Seulgi still doesn’t see the correlation, plus she thinks that it’s quite warm, actually. He shakes his head at the comment.

‘It’s much colder out there because of the open space. The wind can be really bad. There are birds that can attack us – it’s not likely but it can happen so it’s better to wear some more vivid colours. Also, if you fall into the water by accident, your coat will soak in water and just drag you down immediately. This jacket won’t.’

Seulgi’s eyes widen as she silently receives the garment. The man is still smiling, but that seems to be his default state so she cannot tell whether he’s joking or not.

‘Sorry, Wendy doesn’t own one of these, I had to give you one of mine. It’s a little big but it’ll do.’

Seulgi immediately changes while he walks away, towards a narrow pier. There is another man, or maybe a boy – he looks no more than twenty – already waiting for them there in a mid-sized boat.

‘Alright there, Alec?’ Jongdae greets him.

‘Everything’s already prepared, boss.’ The boy mock salutes, but it’s clear he has a lot of respect for the other. Alec helps Seulgi get on board and soon the three set off to the centre of the lake. The motor boat cruises along the ice floating around.

‘Wait, how are you his boss? Does he also work in your coffee shop?’ Jongdae just shrugs, passing her a blanket and motioning at her to sit down. His lips curl up in a small smile.

They don’t talk for a while and Seulgi soon forgets about the matter. It’s beautiful out here – terribly, terribly cold but beautiful. She again contemplates all the reasons that pushed her to come here. She thinks that it might have been worth it, after all. The monumentality of the nature surrounding them is both inspiring and humbling.

 

 

 

Seulgi works on her novel idea for a few days after that. It’s not all that great but something is happening, finally. A heart-broken woman takes a spontaneous trip overseas, somewhere where nobody knows her. She marvels at the new surroundings and maybe gets a new perspective on life. There is maybe a warm-hearted love interest with a tragic past and a friendly community where she wouldn’t mind staying a little longer.

In other words, all of those clichés which have already been written time and time again, and yet sounding suspiciously like her own autobiography.

She doesn’t see much of Jongdae until December 25^th. He calls Wendy’s phone to ask if she’d like to join him and his friends for dinner but she politely declines – she doesn’t want to impose and she really needs a break. She spends her Christmas alone, only calls her parents and Joohyun to wish them Merry Christmas but she doesn’t really mind. She has never really celebrated the holiday in the first place and she really needs her solitude. She strolls a lot, stops to talk to random people that approach her first. She thinks that she begins to recognise some faces.

Now, sitting in Rose’s with a latte and a hefty piece of apple pie, her laptop again open in front of her, she wonders whether she needs more than just a novel idea. She’s pretty sure that her editor will like the summary she has been working on, but it won’t solve much in her life. Writing will isolate her from life for another six months, only Joohyun will stop by every once in a while to make sure that she hasn’t been living entirely on takeaways.

Isolated. Seulgi can sense now that she’s hit the bull’s eye. She has come all the way here for a holiday, but suddenly she realises that she’s been on vacation – vacation from life – pretty much since she’s finished university. What was the word that Jongdae used when they first met? Purposeful. Her life has been successful and pretty much worry-free, but it didn’t feel purposeful.

She has been on a stand still. Perhaps it’s time to change that.

But how to change that?

She minimises the previous file in front of her and opens a new one. Saehae kyeolshim, she types in hangul. New Year Resolutions.

‘Ah, here you are.’ She looks up to see Jongdae, jacket ped and boots all snowed up. He smells strongly of raw fish and Seulgi cannot help but wince. He notices and chuckles, embarrassed. ‘Sorry, I’m just coming back from the storage.’

‘It’s nothing,’ she assures out of politeness. It really isn’t. He takes a seat, leaning a little further away still.

‘Some people asked if you’d like to join tonight’s gathering. It’s like a community dinner. Lu really wants you to join the secret gift giving as well, but no pressure.’ He scratches his head. He looks almost abashed if Seulgi were to look closer. ‘So… if you want to… Do you want to…?’ He meets her eye but looks away just as quickly.

‘Yes. Yes, of course. But it’s already Christmas, how does the gift giving work?’

‘Oh, we randomly draw names from a bucket every Christmas day and then exchange hand-made gifts during the New Year Eve gathering. People are usually too busy with Christmas preparations before that.’

‘Hand-made? Sounds good.’

The man observes her for a moment before looking at her laptop.

‘So what is your novel about?’

‘About New Year resolutions,’ she replies, surprising even herself. He frowns a little, looking curious. ‘About trying to move on from tedium.’ When he doesn’t say anything, she asks, ‘Do you ever make New Year resolutions?’

‘Not really,’ he says after a moment. ‘I have plans, mostly for my business, some improvements for the house I need to do. But I don’t really like to plan my life like that.’

‘Why not?’ Seulgi inquires, surprised. He shrugs, smiling lightly.

‘Where’s the fun in that?’ When she continues looking at him, not understanding, he bursts out laughing. ‘My, my. Both you and Wendy are surprisingly similar. You’re both restless in your own way, and you like to be in control. Am I right?’

‘There’s nothing wrong with taking charge of your life.’

‘No, there’s not,’ he confirms. ‘But those kinds of plans can be made day to day as well. If you try to plan your entire year in advance, there’s a chance you won’t even notice the other opportunities that pass you by.’

Seulgi has nothing to say to that, because she knows it’s true. She habitually locks herself in the house for months on end, trying to finish her drafts. It drives her manager Sooyoung crazy, because Seulgi is very reluctant to attend events and parties, and she doesn’t seem that keen on meeting new people either.

This trip is the first spontaneous thing that she has done in years. Suddenly her attention of domestic décor doesn’t seem that strange, considering that the space is all she knows. While Seungwan seems to have emotionally detached herself from her apartment, Seulgi has built herself a glorified fortress. Still, the outcome is the same.

Both are trapped because they’re scared of change.

 

 

 

The gathering is in the Community Centre, with around three hundred people attending. Not everyone takes part in the secret gift giving, but Seulgi is glad to have been invited. She draws a person she doesn’t know – Thomas Parks? – but soon there is a man approaching her, asking if they could switch because apparently, he really wants to be Thomas Parks’s gift giver. Seulgi immediately concedes.

She gets Jongdae Kim instead.

She looks around, somehow feeling set up but there is no perpetrator in sight. Just Lu Collins, waving at her jovially. 

 

 

 

A week is not a long time, but Seulgi buys several rolls of coarse wool yarn for a hand-made scarf. She used to knit a bit but she’s not confident anymore, so putting it together by hand will do. She’ll tie the strings up one by one.

Dark green and light grey will go together well, she thinks.

In the meantime, she finally dares open her email and sends some of her rough ideas to her editor. Yerim quickly replies, as if she hasn’t been able to sleep, waiting for Seulgi’s message. She loves them, especially the part where the main character almost falls into the icy cold lake and is saved by the handsome hero (nothing like that happened but what is a good story without a few exaggerations). She also asks when they can meet. It reminds Seulgi that there are only five more days before her departure.

She goes on a hike one time, walks around town a lot too, taking photos for reference and for memories. It didn’t take long for her to become attached to this place.

‘Do you think I can bake something for the gathering tomorrow?’ She asks Jongdae one time when she sees him in the coffee shop again. She seems to be there more often than him. His quirks an eyebrow.

‘Yes, of course. If you want to.’

‘Okay, well, do you know how to work Seungwan’s oven beyond the heating function?’ It looks old and Seulgi is quite scared to touch it. Jongdae immediately frowns in distaste.

‘Oh, no. No. Don’t even approach that. I’m afraid it might explode if you try.’ That sounds extreme. ‘Tell you what, I’ll come and pick you up tomorrow morning. We can stop by the supermarket and then you can use my kitchen. Safe and well equipped.’

Seulgi nods, suddenly a little embarrassed at going to the man’s house.

When he comes closer, there is the fish smell again.

‘What is it that you actually do?’ She asks the question that she’s long wanted to ask. She sniffs for emphasis.

He laughs.

‘I own the fishing boats you saw at the docks the other day. My company supplies fish and seafood to supermarkets in three different provinces. Wendy works for me, didn’t she tell you? She handles orders. I usually am not so…’ He motions at himself and the smell. ‘…hands on, but one of the employees called in sick so I’m helping out in the meanwhile. Plus I have to handle the administration as well since my sister suddenly decided to run away.’ He laughs again.

 

 

 

Jongdae cooks them lunch the following day, simultaneously preparing two casserole dishes for the evening. Seulgi bakes the brownies that Joohyun likes so much.

She probably stares at Jongdae a little more than she should, but he also stares a little too long. This is hopeless, she thinks. The last thing she needs is to develop a crush on the brother of her internet friend she’s never met, who lives nine thousand kilometres from her. That, and she is leaving in three days. 

The male protagonist will have to stay what he is – only a two dimensional fantasy.

She goes back to Seungwan’s place to change and pick up the gift she’s prepared for Jongdae. As she leaves, she unconsciously looks around. She’s blended so well with the space. She thinks she’s going to miss it.

The party is again in the Community Centre. Seulgi ends up going early so she helps set up the tables. She smiles at people here and there, working in silence. The time passes by surprisingly fast, even for a person like her who cannot say they know everyone enough to exchange funny stories and comment on current events. She plays with the children for a bit, then stumbles upon a group of girls who like Korean music.

They have an affinity for the pretty male idol that ruined Seulgi’s script so she mentally winces, but answers all their questions about how she met him on set several times anyway. Catching Jongdae’s eye from across the room and seeing his wide grin, she is certain he was the one to alert the girls about her involvement in the drama. She makes a face at him and he laughs harder.

Seulgi wishes that she could see him laugh like that for a long time.

Thirty minutes before midnight, the mayor of La Ronge announces the exchange of gifts. Seulgi takes her out of the bag and begins walking towards Jongdae. They meet half way. They look at each other for a moment, before he says,

‘Did you really draw me or did you have a stranger come to you, insisting that they really wanted to get the person you got?’ Her face tells him everything. ‘I feel like we’ve been set up, and I think I know by whom.’ He looks towards Lu Collins who is trying her best to look inconspicuous but failing hard. 

‘Happy New Year, Kim Jongdae-sshi,’ she says in Korean, but there is recognition in his eyes. He understood that much. He tries to say it back, making her chuckle.

They exchange their gifts. He loves the scarf, he says.

‘You can just… Open it later,’ he says before she has a chance to get to his gift. She agrees, not feeling like teasing him tonight.

They do the New Year countdown with everyone. Jongdae looks like he wants to kiss her among the mass of couples and familiars hugging and well-wishing each other, but he only ends up embracing her briefly which somehow makes the atmosphere awkward.

She suggests alcohol to break the spell.

‘Seungwan’s surname is not Kim,’ she remarks when they stand on the side, each with a glass of wine in hand. Jongdae sighs. Somehow, Seulgi thinks that he’s been expecting this question.

‘It’s a long story, really, but basically my father was a fisherman in the city of Busan before the economy forced him and my mother to re-locate. They ended up here, had Wendy and I. A couple years later, when we were around ten, he left for work one day and never came back.’

‘Did he..?’

‘No, he didn’t drown in the lake. He just ran away, I think. Life was a little different in La Ronge than it is now, especially for re-settlers who barely spoke English, though I’m not gonna defend him.’ When Seulgi thinks that he won’t say another word, he finally continues. ‘Wendy just never forgave him. When she was eighteen, she went to Regina and immediately changed her surname to our mother’s.’

‘It couldn’t have been easy,’ Seulgi observes quietly, feeling pity for the siblings.

‘My mother often cried in those days. She also had to find a job to support the three of us when she had never worked a day in her life before. But even she forgot with time, opened a new chapter in her life. Wendy never did. She blamed him for everything, including our mother’s illness and passing.’ He takes a sip of his wine. ‘I wouldn’t ever say this to her because she shuts me out when I as much as mention him, but I think I know why father’s leaving makes her all the more frustrated. It’s because she also tried to, but did not succeed.’

 

 

Jongdae walks her home at night. Seulgi thinks that he’ll kiss her this time, but he eventually breaks the moment, only wishing her goodnight.

His gift is even more frustrating. It’s a hand-carved wooden case for jewellery. It’s pretty, she thinks until she opens it.

There is a silver heart-shaped pendant inside, along with an I’m sorry I cheated card.

She cannot sleep that night, and not because of the jetlag.

 

 

On January 3^rd in the morning, Joe takes her back to the airport. She has already said goodbye to any friends she’s made during her stay. Jongdae was not among them. She was perplexed at his behaviour at first, but now she thinks that she understands. Starting anything won’t change the fact that she’s leaving and his life is here. His is not a job that can be done anywhere and La Ronge is also a place that he loves.

Seulgi herself has fallen in love with it a little.

When the taxi arrives at Barber Field, Jongdae’s pick-up track is surprisingly there, the man waiting, leaning against it. He straightens up when he sees her.

Seulgi says goodbye to Joe and walks towards Jongdae, both their expressions abashed.

‘I did want to drive you to the airport myself but… Well. Ah, I’m a bit of an idiot, aren’t I.’ He looks away as he smiles, though it is a pained smile.

Seulgi looks at him, feeling inexplicable regret. Regret at the future they could have had, at the story that doesn’t yet have an ending.

‘I hope you have a good journey,’ he finally says when she doesn’t reply. He stretches out his hand and Seulgi shakes it, a little numbly. So that’s how it is.

She nods at him and turns away, pushing her suitcase forward.

Regret at the unknown meaning of the pendant which is now hanging around her neck.

She suddenly stops and turns back. The man raises his head, looking at her in surprise. Maybe it is true, she thinks. Maybe I have been on holiday from life for too long.

‘You’re lousy as a romantic hero, Kim Jongdae,’ she says in Korean, raising her voice. He frowns, clearly not understanding. She s the collar of her coat, exposing the jewellery. ‘You give me this and then you do nothing?’

Seeing the pendant, no translation is needed anymore. He looks at her, chuckling again. He’s embarrassed at himself.

‘A male hero has to be more straight-forward and decisive. Otherwise the readers cannot cheer for him,’ she repeats, this time in English. He immediately comprehends the meaning behind the words.

‘What can I do?’ He shrugs. ‘I guess I’m more of a sentimental kind.’ He grins, this time more sincerely.

‘You know…’ She says again when she finally stops in front of him. ‘My visa doesn’t expire until the end of March. I think- I still wanna see this story through until the end. I still don’t know how my book ends.’

‘Well, if you ask me, that’s probably the best part,’ he says but she doesn’t listen to him anymore.

She grabs him by the collar and kisses hard.

Maybe it’s time for her to be the main hero of her story.