I take a cautious step, making sure my shoes don’t touch the tile lines, otherwise I will die a tragic death. It’s dumb like this that makes me feel out of my element. If you’re wondering why a twenty-six year-old CEO is worried about touching tile lines, it’s because I’m nervous as . And the song playing through the phone from being put on hold isn’t helping either. It’s like an elevator song and not the kind that makes me hum.

Waiting with me is a hollow feeling in my stomach, even though I’m pretty sure I just ate. See? I’m definitely out of my element. It’s hard to believe someone could be this nervous over a phone call. I’ve done thousands of them, all from intimidating company owners and high profiled people, but I’ve never had my insides all churning and worried about touching tile lines. Never.

But this one has me anxious, like I’m always going to lose my balance and touch a line. It’s impressive and at the same time annoying. Thank god no one will judge me for skipping on my floor because I’ve finally ordered to put blinds across my new office so I can have my privacy. I’ve told my father a million times - glass walls are very invading. It’s like being put in an aquarium for the world to see. But no, of course he still went with the glass walls.

“Hi, Mr. Oh.” The female’s voice catches me just as I’m turning and makes me lose my balance. I catch myself before the fall and immediately take the phone out on mute.

“Yes?” I say in the most collected tone I can do after almost falling face first on the floor, almost feeling hopeful she doesn’t catch me trying to normalize my breathing.

“Unfortunately, Ms. Kim is in an important meeting right now. But, I can take a message for you,” she tells me as I feel my face fall into a frown.

“Oh, I see.” is all I could say. I take a deep breath and force a smile, “That’s okay. I’ll call another time.”

“Sure thing, Mr. Oh.”

I feel sour after the call. It feels off that Haerin is never available to take a phone call. Suddenly the universe messes up my timing all six times I’ve tried to reach her? I let out a defeated sigh and settle on my couch. It’s been a month since I last saw her during premiere night and I thought reconnecting with her would be easier now that I’m back for good, but maybe I thought wrong.

A knock interrupts me before I can fall further into overthinking the situation. My assistant, Irene, peaks into the small opening of the door.

“Mr. Oh, Mr. Kai is here to see you.” I nod as she opens the door wide enough to let Jongin through. He whispers her a thank you with a playful smirk across his overconfident face and I try my best not to roll my eyes.

I don’t know what kind of disease he has that he just can’t stop flirting with every secretary I’ve had. It’s a predictable process with Jongin; he flirts a little, throws in his signature smile, be protective, sleeps with her, and then never calls her. It’s the process that makes me lose secretaries at least twice a year.

“Come on, Jongin. Not Irene, please. It took a lot of work to move her out of her department to come work for me again.” I say with a warning, which he takes lightly after waving his hand in the air like it’s nonsense.

“Don’t worry. I won’t do what I did in New York,” his statement doesn’t exactly sound convincing and I don’t buy it either considering that he’s been making stops at Irene’s desk for no reason at all, “At least I’ll try…” he mutters.

“There we go.” I let out another defeated sigh.

“Why are you so worked up?” He laughs at me and settles on the couch across me. He takes a stress ball from the bowl of stress balls which Baekhyun gifted me when I came back from New York and starts tossing it in the open air, “It can’t be because I’m flirting with your secretary,”

“It could be.”

“But it isn’t.” He retaliates as I bring my hands to massage my temples, “It’s Haerin.”

An intrigued smile plays on his face. I hate that he got it right on the first guess. But I guess that’s because Jongin knows me too well. I don’t get bothered like this when it’s work because if it was, I wouldn’t even let him inside the office to play a stupid stress ball.

“You called her again?” He asks and I nod.

“The secretary answered?” He asks again and I nod.

“And all the five times you called her-”

“Six.” I correct him.

“You mean, all the six times you called her she’s never gone back to you?” The disbelief in his tone doesn’t go unnoticed when he asks me this question. I shake my hand to wave off the thought and hopefully he will, too.

“She could be really busy. I mean, she’s working on another project, right? I’m sure it’s eating all her time.” I say with as much nonchalance as possible, but who am I kidding? Jongin looks at me like he’s not buying it and I know that I’m not either.

“What did you tell her during the premiere night? Did you say anything that would scare her into meeting you again?” He arches a brow and mine furrows, trying to remember our interaction the night we first met again.

The brief moment that left a stinging pain in my chest. Thinking about it reawakens the bitter taste that has been lingering along the tightening of my chest.

She never fails to take my breath away. She’s still the same, but also not - if that makes any sense. Haerin’s hair has grown longer, her face still as bright and mellow - brown eyes and peachy cheeks, lips plump and moist because of her lip gloss. Huh. The thought of her putting makeup makes me smile. She never liked them because it takes time, but here she is, wearing them. The funny thing is, she still looks like the same girl I met five years ago. The love I met that summer.

The memory crawls forward as nostalgia starts to fill me and give me goosebumps underneath my tux, as though my body is reliving every moment I had with her. I continue to adore her from afar, as she’s with a group of people who wants to congratulate her and take photos with her, probably for the press. Pretty as ever in her red ball gown, which her friend and mentor arranged for her to wear after she found out I was surprising Haerin today on her big day. I can tell that she has nice friends and a good team behind her and it makes me smile knowing that she had people like them through it all. The world treated her kind after all.

Her eyes briefly surf the room and she lands a look at me. I give her a smile and