“I asked my mother to set me up with a blind date,” the woman across from me didn’t flinch and calmly tapped her manicured nails against the glass table.

Caught off guard, I narrowly avoided spitting out my coffee, but the scalding sip I’d already taken burned my tongue viciously. Biting back the curse that wanted to escape, I looked at the woman who I had been with for half a year in shock.

“What the hell for? Is she pressuring you to get married or something? Didn’t you tell her about us?” I was annoyed but still I set down my coffee cup gently, careful of the too delicate glass.

“Of course I did, but we don’t matter anymore.” I stared at her incredulous, but she simply rolled her eyes at me.

“You don’t have enough of anything. Enough money, enough time for me, enough love for me. You feel nothing for me so why is it surprising you that I don’t feel anything?” She had spoken calmly but I wasn’t able to be as amicable.

“That’s a lie, I care about you Jia!” I refuted hotly, my cheeks burning with emotion. Still the woman in front of me didn’t react beyond a put upon sigh.

“Jimin, you care about everyone. You treat me the same way you would any random person off the street. You’re just a nice man.” She wearily explained while in the midst of yet another eye roll, and I couldn’t help but notice that her left eyebrow was drawn higher up then the right. I tried hard to shift my focus back to the conversation; I had wanted this relationship to work hadn’t I?

“So you’re just going to go, you’re not going to wait to see if things can develop further between us? It’s only been six months,” I reminded her.

“I know when my time is being wasted. We’re not looking for the same things.” She rose from her seat gracefully, her lithe body one of the things that had first attracted me to her. As Jia walked by I held out my hand and took her too thin wrist, holding her back.

“If you leave, you can’t come back,” I warned her, my voice low since we were in public.

She took her wrist back as easily as I’d caught it and with a smile sent my way she kept moving. She didn’t look back as she opened the door to the hipster café she’d earlier insisted we come to, didn’t hesitate to make her way down the street. In a matter of minutes she’d turned a corner and was gone.

There was a slight pain in my chest but I didn’t know if it was really hurt or just regret. Yet another woman had walked away from me, this time with a wholly different complaint than any of the others. I had known Jia was shallow when we’d met, known she was a bit of a gold digger. So maybe that’s why I’d never shown her my second place that was totally different from the one I stayed in above my restaurant and why I’d never fallen for her like I thought I had. I barely felt anything seeing her leave and maybe that was her point.

I didn’t hate her and for the most part she was right. So then what was I really looking for? And how long had I known that Jia wasn’t it?

I left the coffee shop soon after, only staying long enough to finish up my over-priced Americano. As I walked out into the sunshine, my glasses tinted themselves and I watched the lenses transition as I walked on the sidewalk. Jagged edges of concrete had broken off here and there, pieces of trash were in the streets and the air was smoggy, but Philadelphia was home.

My mom would have been offended that I didn’t feel like Korea was my place, but who could blame me? After growing up here from the age of five, at twenty-seven I didn’t feel like I had ever lived in another place. These streets were familiar to me and the people here as well; with only a quick look around I had oriented myself. Two more blocks and I’d be at the small farmer’s market that had some of the freshest produce in the city, a hidden gem. I felt a smile come to my face at the thought and I turned towards it, towards solace.

It’s not like it wasn’t tough being raised by immigrants in America; it had been. Years of translating on behalf of my parents, years of being told I was forgetting my culture but unable to forget it because of everyone else reminded me constantly, years until I understood that I was fine with just being who I was. I had struggled to find my way the older I became; my parents wanted a doctor or lawyer in the family and I was their only son. But during an elective class I’d taken on a whim my sophomore year of high school, cooking had taken over my interest. Creating something from nothing, making it taste amazing and watching people’s faces light up as they tasted my food; the high it gave was addicting. Many arguments, threats of removal from the family and four years at the Institute of Culinary Education in New York later, I had finally opened up my own restaurant two years ago.

I had thought that my restaurant’s success, the hard-won acceptance of my family and being able to live out my passions would be enough for me. I had at least thought that it would be enough to tide me over until I could find what I was looking for. But as the days quickly turned to months and then years, the emptiness still remained. All my life I had longed to be kept carefully by someone, to be safely placed, to be tenderly looked after. I wanted to bring that person to my side and protect them from fear, from suffering. And to protect myself from being lost, to protect my heart from being alone and helpless. I understood that it was a selfish desire and I knew that I was setting high standards, but that hadn’t been my fault either. I’d had too good of role models to ever want anything less.

When I had been younger, I’d dreamed of having the kind of relationship that my parents had. A passionate, abiding love that lasted decades and gave birth to a family that believed in sticking together, loving together. I’d expected to find that same blissful perfection with a woman who would hold the other half of my heart. A woman who would complete my sentences and could set me on fire with just one look. A woman that I would love unconditionally and she would love me just as fiercely.

But the funny thing was, no matter how hard I’d searched, I never found her.

“Hyung, there’s a guest here,” Kookie called out to me, his head peeking out from behind the back door, his profile backlit to the point that I couldn’t make out his features. He didn’t stop and wait to make sure I was coming and for that I was grateful. After spending several hours shopping for groceries the business didn’t necessarily need, and then a heinously busy lunch and dinner service, I was beyond exhaustion. It was hard to see the stars in the city, but I liked to look up at the night sky anyways, always anticipating the moment when celestial light would shine past all the artificial glimmer.

I in a deep breath of wet air and watched as it turned into puffs of white smoke in the chill. We were already closed for the night, but Kookie was good for letting in stragglers. I didn’t mind it, I usually had to cook for myself and the guys anyways after service. Whatever our last customer ordered, we’d eat as well. I might have stayed for a minute or two longer but my own stomach growled in protest.

With a sigh I moved from my position against the stone wall and brushed off some of the raindrops that had stuck to the back of my jacket. I make my way into the eatery and pause to hang up the soggy outer garment. The bright lights of my place are dimmed, the ones still on giving the dining room a golden glow. I don’t know where Kookie has seated our patron, but they aren’t in the front area as I make my way into the kitchen.

My restaurant is basically split into three parts; one to the side that holds two private rooms and a small dining area that we usually use when it’s not a busy lunch hour. The second space takes up the whole right side of the building, and this is where we have more seating and the take out area. Finally the center is where the main dining takes places and also where I have fully enclosed my work area in glass; completely see-through. I’d designed it so that way I could see everything, watch as people enjoyed themselves in the restaurant. But these days more often than not, the couples who made their way into the place left a bitter taste in my mouth

My friends are lined up in the kitchen, snickering over one thing or another as they clean counters and sweep floors. Six Asian guys in a kitchen sounds like the beginning of a seriously racist joke, but none of them actually work here except Taehyung and Jungkook. The other four are older friends that I had picked up during my childhood and Taehyung was my best friend throughout high school. He had only ever encouraged me and had even put up half the money to open the restaurant with me. We had picked up Kookie along the way; he was the youngest out of all of us and when he’d asked me for a job while he finished up college, I hadn’t hesitated to agree. Somehow they always managed to help out around the place despite me telling them it wasn’t necessary. The guys are quieter than normal but it’s not because I’m in a bad mood; I know they’re well used to it by now. Instead it’s because of the guest just outside the transparent glass walls that surround my kitchen. They like to have fun, but they’ve always been respectful. Or so they like to tell me when they beg me to feed their asses.

“Chicken soup hyung,” Kookie informed me while placing an order ticket in the service window. I nodded and grabbed my apron from off it’s hook; soup sounded good to me too. I tied the cloth tightly around my waist and rolled up my sleeves before rinsing my hands with soap and water. The breakup with Jia had just been the start to a stressful day and I took a moment to breathe deep as walked into the cold storage and grabbed a whole raw chicken. The cold air slipped into my lungs easily but a tingling hotness formed towards the back of my eyes.

I’m getting sick of the loneliness; would it really be impossible to find someone who I genuinely wanted to be with? I pushed up my new frames on my nose, irritated that they’d slipped once again. Scowling now, I chopped the ingredients for my mirepoix quickly, my knife moving in fast and furious bursts. Finding a large pot already filled with water waiting on the gas stove, I move over all the necessary ingredients and add them in according to cook times. I add in a few spices, giving the dish an authentic Korean flavor, including ginseng and lots of garlic. When I have that going I move to get some banchan ready for our customer, the small plates of kimchi, doraji muchim, and gamja jorim easily prepared. The vegetable side dishes would keep them full til the food was done and whet the appetite at the same time.

When they’re done I pass them off to Jungkook who scurries off into the dining room. I don’t pay attention as he goes, busy wiping down the counters that I’d just dirtied. Echoes of my mentors through the years ring in my head, their bellows of ‘clean as you go’ had been constant reminders in the kitchen.

“Joon, no,” I heard Yoongi hyung say behind me and I turned to watch as he snatched oven mitts out of the taller man’s hands. With sure hands, Yoongi opened the oven and took out the side dish I had prepped earlier, the japchae reheated for the guys to fill their bottomless pits they called stomachs.

Laughing, Hoseok hyung teased Namjoon hyung, his eyes shining as he recounted the last time the clumsy guy had tried taking food out of the large industrial ovens I used in the kitchen. He’d burned himself and dropped the ribs I’d made for our dinner; it was no wonder everyone was being cautious.

My friends chatted all around me and I sat in their midst quietly as I waited. Time went by quickly and I moved to add some of the last elements to the chicken soup, the cabbage and scallions added in late so that they’d be gently cooked. The soup boiled merrily in the pot and curious noses sniffed loudly behind me as I grabbed plating for the dish. Tae brought out the appropriate sides and I nodded in thanks as he placed them beside me. I debated over two different bowls before finally settling on a creamy square one, the center of it deep and ensuring that even one serving would sure to be filling. My food wasn’t the cheapest but all my customers would get their money’s worth. I had everything ready when I motioned for Jungkook to come over, wondering why I still hadn’t seen the guy who was waiting on his meal.

“Where’d you seat the guest at Kookie?”

Jungkook pointed to the right side of dining room and I took a glance…and then another. A woman sat outside by herself, her shoulders slightly hunched over, her posture protective. Slender fingers played with the silverware in her hands, the chopsticks moving rhythmically in quick circles. But her attention wasn’t on what she was doing; she stared out of the windows constantly, her profile never moving. The lady’s skin was a caramel brown and looked just as delectable and creamy as the sweet. Her hair went in every direction but the curly mass was cut into a style that framed her face. A face that I couldn’t see.

 “I’ll take it to her,” I offered suddenly, the words out of my mouth before I could even think it through.

“Hyung, you never serve the customers,” the younger man replied affronted and my lips twitched at his tone.

“I don’t mind doing it just this once,” I told him simply, trying hard not to arouse suspicion. But I wanted to see her better, wanted to look her in the eyes. I was sure they’d be beautifully mesmerizing, just as she was. I could tell her radiance was dimmed. She was sad about something and I desperately wanted to know what was making her stare so forlornly off into nothing.

“If you say so, but don’t spill the tray,” Jungkook warned and I rolled my eyes at his concern.

“It’s been a while,” I admitted. “But I’m not incapable.” Jungkook only shrugged his shoulders at me and joined the other guys as they dove collectively for the leftover soup, making a fuss until Jin hyung had them line up. Shaking my head and holding back a sudden chuckle that wanted to escape, I picked up the tray.

My legs were steady as I approached her table and I felt my curiosity increase the closer I came to her. At the sound of my approach, the woman turned to face me and it took all I had not to drop the tray that rested in my hands. Surprise filtered through me like a flash of lightning, and with trembling hands I put the tray down on the table, afraid I wouldn’t be able to support it any longer. She was more beautiful than I had imagined, her lips full and her nose slender. Her cheekbones were high and I knew if she smiled, the small dimple that was on the side of would deepen impossibly further. I desperately wanted to see that smile.

“Are you the chef?” she asked me, her voice low and warm. She looked up at me with huge brown eyes encircled by short lashes and hazy with sadness. Just as I’d thought, one look and she’d punched me in the chest. Was I still breathing? I had to pull in a breath, had to reply past the clog in my throat.

“Yes,” I replied slowly and frankly I’m amazed that I managed speak sense at all with the force of these unnamed and illogical emotions swamping me. I felt absurdly like pulling her into my arms, like kissing her endlessly.

Suddenly I had to make a conscience effort to keep my arms at my sides, to tone down the rush of hot need that filled me. In slow movements I clenched and then opened my hands in the towel at my waist, thankful that she couldn’t see my actions. My heart beat wildly in my chest and the painful thumping only increased the longer she looked at me. I prayed she wouldn’t look away.

A/N: Hey guys! Welcome back to the fic, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I really wanted to give you guys a bit of back story for Jimin in this fic, give you a small peek into his character and how he operates, as well as some things that bring him joy and sadness. This was definitely more exposition then I wanted, but needs must since y'all know I have to set up the story lol. Anywho, the next chapter is actually almost ready, so let's all pray I can get that out to you guys soon as well. Thanks so much for reading and tell me what your favorite part was, or what you'll think will happen next!  Also I started a Patreon! So check out my blog for the link, I hope you guys show it some interest. Remember to COMMENT, UPVOTE and SUBSCRIBE for more updates! Much love, <3!