AoifeCross finished review, please use wisely :)
Magic Shop: So show me(I'll show you) ππ‘ππ πππ πΈππππ‘π₯πππ ππ£πππ£π€! ππ π ππππ ππ π£ βππ π‘ππ π¨ππ πππ ππππ πΎπ£ππ‘ππππ€/ππ£πππππ£π€!Story Title: Bittersweet
Story Link:Β https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1318265/bittersweet
Description: 10 out of 10 points
Forward: 5 out of 5 points
: 10 out of 10
Overall Appeal to reader(includes aspects such as poster and background: 15 out of 20
Things that you should do: Maybe you should merge a few chapters together. Try using Grammarly to fix your grammar mistakes. Also, you should probably add a background to add to the vibes of the story and to make your story more visually appealing.
CHAPTER 1:
Chapter title: 4 out of 5
Grammar: 5 out of 10
Formatting (did you use quotation marks and space out your dialogue properly): 10 out of 10
Important things to fix: Many minor grammar mistakes and occasionally switches from past tense to present tense
Where you consistent with your points of view and tenses: 3 out of 5
Did your overall chapter make sense: 25 out of 25
Reviewer's note: The overall chapter was pretty good, it was a great introduction π. Too be honest, is not my thing but for someone who reads this would be a great first impression. Maybe you could try using Grammarly for the grammar mistakes.
CHAPTER 2:
Chapter title: 4 out of 5
Grammar: 8 out of 10
Formatting: 10 out of 10
Important things to fix: Grammar should be fixed and a few words should be changed. For example, you should use the word βmeanwhileβ instead of Β βmeantimeβ
Were you consistent with your points of view and tenses: 5 out 5
Did your overall chapter make sense: 25 out of 25
Reviewerβs Note: This chapter was pretty good, I have to say that it was really short. Maybe you can try merging a few chapters together?
CHAPTER 3:
Chapter Title: 3 out of 5
Grammar: 5 out of 10
Formatting: 9 out of 10
Important things to fix: grammar
Were you consistent with your points of view and tenses: 3 out of 5
Did your overall chapter make sense: 25 out of 25
Reviewerβs note: fix the grammar. I loved the last part of this chapter, Jungkook hunting down vampires and Jimin being a vampire. Ooohh, I smell something π You got me hooked!!
CHAPTER 4:
Chapter Title: 3 out of 5
Grammar: 9 out of 10
Formatting: Β 10out of 10
Important things to fix: none
Were you consistent with your points of view and tenses: 5 out of 5
Did your overall chapter make sense: 25 out of 25
Reviewerβs note: Maybe make the chapter name Jealousy or something like that? I really like the last part, hobiβs getting jealous (things are getting really interesting) π
CHAPTER 5:
Chapter Title: out of 5
Grammar: out of 10
Formatting: out of 10
Important things to fix:
Were you consistent with your points of view and tenses: out of 5
Did your overall chapter make sense: out of 25
Reviewerβs note:
CHAPTER 6:
Chapter Title: 5 out of 5
Grammar: 9 out of 10
Formatting: 10 out of 10
Important things to fix: none
Were you consistent with your points of view and tenses: 5 out of 5
Did your overall chapter make sense: 23 out of 25
Reviewerβs note: once again, merge chapters
CHAPTER 7:
Chapter Title: 4 out of 5
Grammar: 9 out of 10
Formatting: 10 out of 10
Important things to fix: none
Were you consistent with your points of view and tenses: 5 out of 5
Did your overall chapter make sense: 25 out of 25
Reviewerβs note: is it just me or does it seem like Jimin and Jungkook are slowly drifting apart
CHAPTER 8:
Chapter Title: 5 out of 5
Grammar: 9 out of 10
Formatting: 10 out of 10
Important things to fix: none
Were you consistent with your points of view and t
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