Sana had always thought that seeing Jihyo again after their tremendous break up would hurt her more than she would ever admit to her own self.

 

Perhaps, it was the fact that she had been cheated on; or, maybe the reason was that she had always believed Jihyo to be the woman she'd marry and have a family with.

 

After all, they had been together for four years before the woman decided to go and destroy everything they had built together.

 

She still recalled the nights she'd wake up at three in the morning; a question haunting her: 'What made her fall out of love? Was it me?'

 

All the mornings in which she jolted awake in bed when she didn't feel the girl next to her, looking around herself in the darkness with a shortened breath and tears flowing down her cheeks.

 

It took her two weeks before she eventually put away the clothes Jihyo had left at her place; all the presents she had gotten her. It took her even more to delete all the pictures and the messages.

 

She had a hard time telling herself that she had to move on; some days it was harder than others.

 

Some days, it felt impossible.

 

Her pride had been hurt, her heart had been broken; how was she supposed to move on after that? 

 

As she was waiting at the small table she had occupied inside the café nearest her college, Sana was playing with her phone when she suddenly heard the voice she knew she'd never forget.

 

She didn't need to look up to see who it was, or make sure she wasn't mistaken; still, she did it anyway.

 

A year almost passed by, but Jihyo hadn't changed at all.

 

She still ordered the same vanilla milkshake with a piece of chocolate cake to go.

 

The radiant smile always displaying on her lips was still there, just as the sparkle in her eyes. She still gave off the same friendly vibe Sana had found shelter in when she first started college and had no idea of what she was doing.

 

Her aura was still that of someone who had a big heart and was sweet to whoever she met, so sweet it was easy to fall for her. Sana knew too well.

 

She kept looking at her, unable to move or say anything. Was this the moment when she'd feel her heart break all over again? Like in those films where the protagonist then comes to the realisation that they had never moved on and they had been lying to themselves all along? 

 

Jihyo was at the counter, hand in hand with her girlfriend; the same one she had cheated on Sana with. 

 

The same one she'd tell her was only a friend. Her roommate, to be specific.

 

They were smiling at each other and Sana could see the love they had in their eyes. They were quiet, but the love they shared was loud, so clear to see.

 

She thought that by now she should be crying her eyes out at the view in front of her.

 

She should be ripping her heart out wishing it would make it stop hurting so much. 

 

Wishing it would make it better.

 

However, none of that happened. 

 

She didn't feel her heart shattering in a thousand of pieces, or her breath getting caught in . Neither did she feel a knot in her stomach. 

 

When they kissed after making their orders, Sana felt nothing at all.

 

That's when it hit her; she didn't even care anymore.

 

Jihyo was something she had left in the past a long time ago. The pain she had given her as well.

 

Sana did not feel anything towards her anymore.

​

No love, no bitterness or resentment.

 

Nothing at all. 

 

She didn't realise she was smiling until a voice made her come back to reality.

 

A voice she came to know very well during the last couple of months.

 

"What's gotten you so smiley today?"

 

Sana was grinning when she turned to look at Momo; the girl staring at her with an entertained grin. 

 

She was beautiful, truly.

 

Sana wondered how it could be possible for her to find Momo more beautiful every time she looked at her. 

 

Her beauty left her speechless, always. 

 

And under her stare, Sana couldn't help but blush a little. She knew it was useless to hide it, Momo would anyway.

 

Sana wasn't going to admit it, but she secretly loved it when she did. She always had this playful glint in her eyes that made Sana smile spontaneously.

 

It made her heart feel warm, a kind of happiness she couldn't find a reason for.

 

"Are you going to just stare at me or will you answer?" Momo asked, a pout appearing on her lips. Sana swore she couldn't be more in love. How is it that she always had to make her heart beat out of control? Make her legs feel weak? Make her head spin around at the simplest of gestures? 

 

Was she even aware of the effect she had on her? 

 

"It's because of you," she told her, truthfully, but Momo only looked at her, furrowing her eyebrows and narrowing her eyes. She looked endearingly funny. "Stop looking at me like that! I'm serious."

 

Momo faked a scoff, before slumping back on her seat comfortably. "You know you don't need to court me anymore like this, don't you?"

 

Sana nodded her head, a bright smile on her lips. She knew Momo to mask her own shyness whenever she said something that made her feel flustered.

 

She thought it was cute.

 

"Then, how am I making you so happy today? You didn't even notice I arrived," the older girl replied, pouting once again. Still, Sana could tell that she was curious to know the answer to her question. 

 

To hear Sana say what she really felt inside her heart. Not because she wasn't sure of it, but simply because it was nice to be reminded of it.

 

It was nice to hear Sana say it while looking her in the eyes. 

 

Thing is, how was Sana supposed to explain to her why?

 

How was she supposed to tell her that the reason she had been unconsciously smiling before Momo arrived was the fact that she had just realised how good Momo had done to her ever since she had entered her life? 

 

How was she supposed to tell her she was the reason why Sana had found happiness again? The reason why she was able to move on? The one person that had been able to pick up the pieces of her heart and put them back together? To make her heart feel warmer than it ever did? 

 

How was Sana supposed to tell her that she was the reason why she believed in love again? 

 

How was she supposed to tell her that she had been the remedy — the best one — to all her problems? And that since she met her Sana's life had been filled with nothing but pure joy? 

 

Joy whenever she got a text from her.

Whenever she'd smile at her, or when she'd look at her with those eyes filled with love.

Whenever she'd come over and they'd decide to watch a film but get lost in their chats in the middle of it.

Whenever they'd end up cuddling and falling asleep to the sound of their hearts beating in unison.

Whenever Momo would scold her for trying to start a food fight, or for leaving left-overs when they went out for dinner.

Whenever they'd try to cook together, but Sana ended up adding a bit too much of each ingredient on the recipe.

Whenever they'd stay up until late at night talking about the dumbest things, but laughing as if they were having the time of their life. 

 

Momo was able to make her heart fill with joy by simply saying her name. 

 

Looking at Momo, at the beautiful person she was in and out, remembering about the night they first met, Sana was sure that it had been fate all along.

 

Otherwise, how would you explain how they ended up finding out that they lived only an hour apart? That they were both from Japan? That they were into the same things? And they both had the same sense of humour? That they were both scaredy cats who couldn't last ten minutes into a horror movie before screaming out of their lungs at every single scene displaying on the tv? That with her, Sana felt like the whole world could end but she wouldn't mind at all as long as she had Momo by her side? 

 

She couldn't come to comprehend it; it was crazy, the way Momo made her feel. 

 

It was crazy, the way she had fallen so hopelessly in love with her.

​

But Sana wasn't looking for an explanation either.

 

She didn't need one; she was fine like this.

 

She was okay because Momo was with her and that's all that Sana needed. 

 

Yes, it's all she needed.

 

"Are you avoiding answering me so that I'll eventually forget?" Momo's voice once again brought Sana back to reality. Nevertheless, she didn't mind; she loved this reality she lived in. 

 

"You're stubborn," Sana noted, making Momo hit her on the shoulder lightly, faking annoyance. "What? You are!"

 

"I didn't ask you about that," Momo scoffed, turning to play with the food in front of her. Sana didn't even notice it had been served.

 

Wait, did she even order anything?

 

She looked down to see her favourite hot tea; it was still fuming, waiting to be drank. Before she could even look up, Momo spoke again.

 

"I ordered for you," she said, shrugging her shoulders as if it was not a big deal. Sana thought that maybe it really wasn't, but that was also one of the reasons why she loved Momo. 

 

"Here, I also left you some of my cake." 

 

Sana looked at Momo in adoration, making the older girl blush under her intense stare, but before she could say anything, Sana beat her to it.

 

"You're selfless," she declared in a serious tone, while Momo stared at her — confusion written all over her face. "You're kind, and you're always going out of your way to help others."

 

"You make me laugh, and you make me feel loved, appreciated," she kept talking as Momo was quiet, listening to her words carefully while her eyes softened. "You make me smile, and you make me feel like the luckiest person on earth."

 

Momo's eyes were shining as Sana kept speaking, trying her best to keep her tears in. She was feeling so much — it was ridiculous how much Momo made her feel by looking at her like that.

 

"When I'm with you, I don't need filters; I can say whatever I want, no matter how dumb it is, and you'll still smile at me and tell me that aliens do exist and that it's true that they'd declare me their queen because they would think I look good in a crown."

 

Both of them giggled, and before they even knew they had reached out to hold each other's hand.

 

"I'm at peace when you're with me, but even when you're not, because I know that one call, one text, is all I need for you to come to me and never let me go."

 

For a few seconds, both of them were silent. The people in the café were still talking, some were louder than others, but Sana didn't hear them.

 

It was like they didn't even exist.

 

Her eyes were set on Momo and at that moment she was the only person that existed for her.

 

It was just them in their small world made of only love.

 

"These past months have been the happiest for me because I got to know you, and every little thing about you," Sana's voice was shaking and she was on the verge of tears; she didn't know what was taking over her, but sitting there, looking at Momo's glossy eyes, she felt her heart grow bigger by the minute. "Like the way you snore when you sleep on your left side, or the way you sigh heavily whenever you're hungry even though we've just eaten."

 

"I love all those little things that make you who you are," Sana opened her heart completely to the girl, her eyes conveying every emotion she was feeling. "I'm in love with you Hirai Momo, and that's why you make me so happy."

 

"You're making me happy today, you made me happy yesterday, and I know you will be making me happy tomorrow as well. And the day after tomorrow. The next one too."

 

Sana took a deep breath before ending her speech, smiling softly at Momo.

 

"You make me happy every day, and I will never be able to thank you for that. All I can give you are these words and a smile to show you how grateful I am for having you in my life."

 

Now, Sana was waiting for Momo to say something, anything.

 

It was always scary to open your heart to someone. To tell them everything you feel. In a way, you know it will make you vulnerable, but at the same time, the love you feel is too big for you to keep it all in.

 

Sana didn't mind being vulnerable when it came to Momo. She knew the girl would take care of her no matter what, and she'd make sure nothing and no one would ever hurt her.

 

She trusted her more than she had ever trusted anyone else.

 

As she kept waiting, Momo had her eyes closed, but a smile was displaying on her lips.

 

"You really want me to cry in front of all these people, uh?" her tone was sarcastic and it even made Sana giggle, but as Momo opened her eyes, tears started wetting her cheeks. "I don't even know what to say now. I only wanted to tease you because you're cute when you blush."

 

Sana shook her head, laughing lightly as her cheeks turned a rosy colour. "Your eyes say more than you could ever say with words."

 

Momo nodded her head, seeming satisfied with Sana's answer. "That's good because I think that I won't be able to answer you without sobbing like a baby."

 

"And I still have a dignity to preserve." 

 

They both laughed as they kept holding each other's hand. Neither of them had ever smiled so brightly.

 

"Come on," Momo said standing up, wiping away her tears. "I've already paid for the both of us."

 

Sana mirrored her actions and they left together, hand in hand.

 

"Your house or mine?" Sana asked innocently, turning to Momo as they walked to the latter's car. 

 

Momo smiled faintly, looking at the sky. "Doesn't matter, anywhere with you is home to me."

 

Sana laughed as she shouldered her lightly, before getting in the car. "Now you're just being cheesy."

 

Momo nodded her head proudly, looking at Sana deeply in the eyes. "I am, but you like it anyway."

 

Sana didn't answer; they just kissed untile they drove back to her place. 

 

They spent the rest of the afternoon cuddling on her bed, and it was Sana's turn to cry when Momo told her that she loved her. 

 

She tried her best not to sob, but in the end she gave in and Momo hugged her close to her chest. 

 

When the evening came, Sana suggested that she'd cook for her, but before she could even look up some recipe online, Momo told her that she already ordered some pizza from the place next to her house.

 

As the stars and the moon were shining in the night sky, Sana fell asleep to Momo's soothing voice singing to her.

 

She believed that she was fine falling asleep with that sound replaying in her mind every night.