Part 2

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“Guess what!”

There was something different about the girl today. Her enthusiasm was alarming. It shocked a sleepy Seungwan awake. She hadn’t gotten much rest over the days off and the morning was dragging. Maybe this session would bring the jolt to get her batteries going that she nodded.

“What?”

“We talked again.” It was obvious she was grinning. A sly, happy kind of grin. “Like talked-talked kind of talk.”

Seungwan found her excitement infectious. “Progress.”

“I know, right?” She giggled and Seungwan could tell she was trying to hide the sound. “She was really sweet. Still a jerk but sweet.”

Seungwan laughed. Things seemed to be getting better. “What are you going to do now?"

“Ask her out.”

Seungwan wasn’t sure why her stomach fluttered at that. Maybe because she felt like she was part of this journey, too. It made her nervous and excited for the girl. “Whoa.”

“Not like that, dingus.” She snorted. “I’ll start small. I have to be strategic.”

That was safer than going from zero to one hundred. She wished them luck. “Go get’em, tiger.”

-/-/-/-

“Hey, you.”

Seungwan knew who it was without having to look up. No one else was this stupidly loud and annoying. And she wasn’t in the mood. She was tired and stressed. The last thing she needed was Sooyoung encroaching on her already poor mood.

“I said, hey, you.”

She closed her eyes, wishing this monstrosity would evaporate. It didn’t. It stayed there, waiting for acknowledgment. She wasn’t the type to ignore someone and Sooyoung was never and would never be someone she could ignore.

She craned her neck back to look up. “Hi.”

“Aren’t you going to lunch?”

Most of the class had already filtered out to eat. Few straggled behind, gossiping amongst themselves. Usually, Sooyoung would be out the door along with the masses, hunting down her friends to spend time with. What was her deal today?

Seungwan motioned to the board where their teacher had scribbled the lesson for the day. “I want to finish taking down the notes.”

“Say no more.” Whipping out her phone, Sooyoung angled her phone at the board and snapped a few pictures. It was smart. Seungwan wondered why she never thought of doing that. “What’s your number?”

She blinked. “My what?”

“Your phone number. I’ll text the picture and you can finish writing them down later.” Her eyebrows lifted, thumb hovering over the screen waiting for Seungwan to drop the digits.

Seungwan just stared. What sort of parallel universe did she enter? Was this a dream? Did she actually fall into the street and bust her head on the pavement when she slipped on the curb this morning?

Seungwan narrowed her eyes. “What are you playing at?”

“I’m trying to go to lunch but you won’t hurry up.”

“Why do I need to hurry?”

“So we can have lunch together. Duh.”

Okay. This was getting weird. She had to place her pencil down to process what was happening. First off, Park Sooyoung was voluntarily speaking to her. All on her own. No joke set up, no people to witness, no snide comment. She was just speaking to her and—Seungwan had to take a breath for this one—secondly wanted to eat lunch together? As in together, together. Same proximity. Sharing the same air. In each other’s company. Her stomach did a weird wavy thing. What?

No, no, no, no, no. She was hearing things. She must be.

“You want to have lunch...with me?”

“You scratch my back, I scratch yours.” Sooyoung shrugged though it was anything but nonchalant. Sitting backward on the desk in front of Seungwan’s, she quickly added, “but don’t make a habit out of it. I’m only being nice because you didn’t have to do what you did last week and I hate owing people so might as well get this over with.”

Oh. That’s what this was. A thank you delivered on a silver platter topped with bull. She knew it was too good to be true. She didn’t even know why she thought it would be genuine. Not from someone like Sooyoung.

Seungwan swallowed down her hurt and snatched her pencil back up. “I’m not hungry.”

“Oh please.” Plucking the pencil from Seungwan’s hand, she placed it behind her ear far out of reach. The glower she received did zero damage to affect her. “Your stomach has growled four times since second rotation.” That was creepily accurate. “You could just say no instead of lying to me.”

Arms crossed over her chest. She felt oddly exposed. Mainly because Sooyoung had to be paying some sort of attention to her to know she was starving. Other than that, she still couldn’t help feeling like this was a setup. That Sooyoung was playing with her vulnerabilities only to run a sword through her when she least expected it. She didn’t want that.

“You don’t have to pay me back.”

“I know I don’t have to.” Standing up, Sooyoung placed her hands on her hips looking all the intimidating titan that she was. It didn’t scare Seungwan though. It did other things to her. Like make her heart flutter.

Sooyoung was the type who got what she wanted. Most of those being through the power of a mighty flirt and a quick tongue that could dismantle any bully.

Right then it was breaking down Seungwan’s defenses that she had set up to protect herself from this very girl. She didn’t like it one bit but she also sort of maybe didn’t mind.

“Will you eat lunch with me or not? I could just throw the extra away.”

She couldn’t bear the thought of good food going to waste. “Okay.”

“Good answer.” She flashed a gummy grin and returned the stolen pencil. “Now let’s go.”

-/-/-/-

“Is there something wrong with the cafeteria?”

Seungwan scrunched her nose as the smells of the gym filled her nostrils. Stale sweat and rubber weren't the most complimentary of fragrances for a lunchtime eat out. Not to mention the place was dirty, teeming with bacteria on every surface butts and feet touched. It reminded her of those teen movies when the outcast would seek refuge in a restroom stall. Unsanitary. She was surprised no one got malaria.

“It’s loud,” said Sooyoung as she started up the bleachers.

Seungwan followed her to the top most section where the lights barely touched. “Is it or did you just not want to be seen eating with me?”

Sooyoung shrugged and sat down. “If that’s what you want to believe.”

It wasn’t. She didn’t want to be someone’s dirty little secret. As if being forced to eat lunch all in the name of being even wasn’t enough. Hiding away in the gym where no one else could see them and no one would know that cool, y, Sooyoung was sharing shrimp crackers with boring, bland, Seungwan was hurtful and nothing short of humiliating.

“I’ll take mine to go.”

“Sit down, Seungwan.”

If her words were a whip, Seungwan felt them hard and raw. She did just as she was told, dropping on her bum with a plop though not without malice. She made it known, arms crossed over her chest and brow pulled in. She didn’t even know why she sat down. Sooyoung wasn’t the boss of her. She could do what she wanted.

Glancing at her expression, Sooyoung cackled. “God, you’re such a baby. And everyone thinks I’m dramatic.”

She had to fight not to stick out her tongue. “Because you are.”

Sooyoung sneered. “I’m not ashamed of talking to you.”

“I’m not sure I believe you.” It was worth saying for the second of inflation in her pride at seeing Sooyoung’s hardshell falter. But she couldn’t pretend to be a hardass even if she tried and she felt bad for hurting her feelings. “It’s just...it’s not like you’ve given me any reason to ever trust you.”

Sooyoung only nodded. Silently, she pulled out her lunch bag and opened it up to take out an assortment of containers that she placed on the space between them.

“We were kind of friends once,” Sooyoung said softly.

Seungwan blew air passed her lips. Emphasis on kind of. “Lab partners for a day didn’t seem to keep you from being a jerk.”

Because the very next day, she was back to the old Sooyoung.

Sooyoung her teeth in annoyance. “You’re like a world-class nerd, what did you expect?”

“Human decency.”

An accusatory chopstick pointed at her. “You mixed my solution wrong so it exploded all over me. My hands were blue for a week!“

Seungwan smirked. She remembered. She did it a few days later to get back at her when Sooyoung wasn’t looking and relished in her mortification when she was splattered in dyes and solutions. In retrospect, it was dangerous. Chemicals were nothing to play with but neither were her feelings and Sooyoung had a knack for playing with hers.

“Hah-hah. Funny. Laugh all you want.” The last of the containers clicked against the bleachers. There was no humor in Sooyoung’s tone. “You’re not as innocent as you let on. At least I’m honest about being a .”

Ouch, take two.

All the frustration in her seeped out like air from a balloon. For someone who wound her up so much, Sooyoung had been humbling her more times than she liked. She wasn’t proud enough to act like the girl wasn’t right. She was.

“This is yours.” Sooyoung slid one of the large containers toward her.

Seungwan opened it surprised at the food she found inside. It was all packed very neatly and the taste exploded in . Always in a rush, Seungwan hardly had time to prepare food for herself and her parents were always busy. School bought food was good but it didn’t beat the homemade kind. To think, her one enemy would feed her the best lunch she had in months.

“Did your mom pack this?” asked Seungwan.

“No, I did.”

Taking a morsel, she popped it into , eyes widening when the flavors burst on her tongue. “You made this?”

“What, like it’s hard?” Sooyoung picked a perfectly rolled piece of gimbap. Manners out the window, she spoke as she chewed. “I can make almost anything.”

Seungwan was skeptical. “Anything?”

“Name it. I can make it.”

She listed off one dish after another after another, each of which Sooyoung checked off with a positive along with a quick rundown of main ingredients and cooking instructions.

Seungwan didn’t want to admit that she was impressed. But she was. It was hard to picture Sooyoung in the kitchen chopping vegetables and sprinkling seasonings. She always seemed too calloused despite her not being that way. Seungwan remembered a different image of Sooyoung. One so vague and so far removed from the person she presented she sometimes doubted if she saw right.

“I can’t make that,” she said to the last thing on Seungwan’s list. “Well, I can but not very good. My grandma has a special recipe that I haven’t gotten right yet.”

“Did you learn from her?”

Sooyoung nodded. “She has trouble with her hands so I usually make the meals and do the shopping. She lets me try out new dishes and eats them even if they’re not good.” A soft smile of affection graced her lips. “After my parent's accident, she encouraged me to keep going. She taught me everything. Learning how to cook and clean and sew was the only way I would come out of my room.”

Seungwan swallowed hard, pausing to stare at the girl across from her. That was the most she ever heard about Sooyoung’s personal life and it was...a lot. A lot more than she thought she deserved to know. It made her a little uncomfortable. Or guilty.

“I didn’t know.”

Eyes flickered up, catching her sullen expression that she returned with an eye roll. “I’m not telling you this because I want your pity.”

“Why are you?” It felt like information better exchanged between friends. Not the likes of them.

“If I want you to trust me, I have to start somewhere.”

Seungwan’s insides twisted ever tighter. Another bomb dropped out of nowhere. What started off as a simple lunch turned into something deeper. Something unexpected. Seungwan didn’t know what to do with this new information. She didn’t know what to do with Sooyoung’s honesty. She didn’t know what to do with her heart that was beating like it was about to fly out of her chest.

Dropping her head, Seungwan focused on the food that was left. They both figured that was the best thing to do and the rest of the time passed by with the gurgle of pipes up above and soft chews and slurps of coke.

When the bell rang, Seungwan jumped. Sooyoung sighed and packed everything up.

The tension was too great. She needed to say something. “Thanks for lunch.”

“Whatever.” Standing, Sooyoung tossed her bag onto her back and started off.

Seungwan scrambled up to follow as they made way down the bleachers and to the doors that would lead them back into the main hallway where Sooyoung stopped.

“I’m really not ashamed of talking to you.” She turned around but her eyes didn’t settle on Seungwan. They were everywhere else but her. It was the first time she had seen someone as confident as Sooyoung so uneasy. “My friends and I haven’t been nice to you so you know how people can be.” She shrugged. “It was either the gym or them.”

Seungwan watched her back retreat as she walked out the door, leaving her alone.

Oh. Oh.

That made sense.

For someone as smart as her, she could be really dumb at times.

-/-/-/-

“Am I a bad person?”

Seungwan cocked an eyebrow. “Ma’am, this is a secret keeper booth.”

The girl blew air past her lips. It didn’t seem like she was in the mood for jokes and banter today. “I know I’m not the nicest person but I’m not bad.”

Seungwan could hear the sorrow in her voice. She mellowed out. This was a serious matter and she needed to treat it as such.

“Why do you think you’re a bad person?” she asked.

“I think she’s scared of me.”

“Why would she be?”

“I haven’t exactly been the poster child for model character,” the girl grumbled. “Every time she looks at me, it’s either she wants to rip my eyes out or she’s scared that I’ll slit .”

Intense. Geez. How bad was their relationship before? It was a wonder this girl has gotten this far in progress if their history was that messy. “Why is that?”

“Because, she— We—!” She muttered words with heavy indignation that Seungwan couldn't understand. She could tell the girl was struggling, trying to find the right words to express herself. “Because that’s just how it’s been! I haven’t always been nice to her. I know that. I wish I could take it all back.” She ended on a somber note that made Seungwan’s own mouth tug down into a frown.

She could relate. She knew how it felt not to be treated the kindest and how difficult it was to see the good in a person through all the that they threw. But there always was a little good to be found.

“Do you know what the crazy thing is?” asked the girl. Her tone was different now. A little defeated. Maybe even thoughtful. She wasn’t as defensive as before. Like she was tired of her own antics and was ready for the truth to finally see the light of day.

“What?”

“You can’t repeat this. Ever.”

Seungwan smiled. “Scouts honor.”

“She’s the one who scares me.”

That wasn’t that she was expecting. She leaned her head against the side of the booth, all her curiosity and focus and attention on this girl and the new developments in her secrets. “Why?”

“She's like...maybe she’s too good for me.” She breathed a heavy sigh. “I’ve always known about her. I’ve always seen her there. We didn’t talk but that didn’t mean I didn’t notice her. She was always the nicest person. Always the smartest. Always one of the prettiest even though I know she doesn’t think so. She’s too modest to say it out loud, even if she did think so.”

“She sounds perfect.”

“She’s not. That’s what I like. She can be mean, too. She fights back when you think she won’t. She isn’t afraid to be herself even if everyone else...even if I tried to make her feel bad for that.”

“Why don’t you tell her what you think?”

She snorted. “As if. She wouldn’t believe me.”

“Maybe she would.” Seungwan shrugged. “People change. She might understand and see that you have.”

“Would you?”

Seungwan stilled.

She tried to put herself into this girl’s shoes. Into both of their shoes. The only way she could was to think of Sooyoung.

She still couldn’t pinpoint where Sooyoung was coming from. What she really wanted. She might’ve not been scared of Sooyoung before but she was terrified now.

She didn’t know how to handle her when she wasn’t snapping at her or shooting her angry glares or giggling at her in the back of the class. That’s what she had grown used to and now that it was evening out, it was exposing things in herself that she hadn’t been privy to.

Like that Sooyoung was actually decent to talk to. She was warm underneath all the venom she spat. She was intelligent and calculating and there was kindness around her eyes that bled through when she thought no one was paying attention.

What would she do if Sooyoung told her she was sorry? What if she meant it? What if this entire time they had been at odds for some stupid reason like jealousy and envy? What if they cast all that away?

What if Sooyoung wanted her? Seungwan’s insides warmed at the thought. That was weird

“I would try to,” Seungwan answered after a moment.

Because that was all she could do. Try to understand where Sooyoung was coming from. If she talked to Seungwan like this girl was, she would see it clear as day. It wouldn’t be so difficult. But she doubted Sooyoung ever would. Or even wanted to. Or maybe she wasn’t even thinking about Seungwan the way she seemed to not be able to stop thinking about her.

“Try…”

The stopwatch chimed and no other words were spoken.

The girl left and Seungwan remained in her chair, wondering about the girl who wasn’t much of her enemy anymore.

-/-/-/-

Lunch dates become a thing.

Seungwan refused to call them that out loud but Sooyoung insisted. Just like she insisted on making Seungwan clamor up the bleachers and make her eat with her at least two or three times a week.

The more they did it, the less Sooyoung had to fight her to come and the less Seungwan tried to weasel herself out of it.

Sooyoung wasn’t so bad. She gagged at the thought. When did she start thinking that? When did she start looking forward to her popping up at her desk when the bell rang with her, “Hey, you, let’s go eat,” and refusing to take no for an answer.

They weren’t all good lunches though—

“I’m not letting you look off my paper.”

“Why not? I need to pass.”

“You should’ve thought of that before you started slacking.”

“I have a brutal practice schedule. What makes you think I have time to study between all of that?”

“Not my problem, figure it out.”

“I am trying to figure it out but you’re being stingy!”

“Avoiding plagiarism isn’t being stingy it’s called not committing a crime!”

“Yell at me one more time and I’ll show you how well I can commit a crime!”

Seungwan stormed down the bleachers and out of the gym before Sooyoung could (and probably really wasn’t going to) do anything to her.

Petty arguments were just their thing and the fire in them didn’t last long. They were back to being on speaking terms within the following day.

But when the times they spent hidden away in their own little corner were good, they were good.

“When I was ten, a boy at the pool thought it would be funny to throw me in.”

Sooyoung gasped. “But you can’t swim.”

Seungwan nodded, impressed that Sooyoung remembered that detail from a previous conversation consisting of twenty questions. “I was flailing around screaming for somebody to help me. My dad came running over and he just stopped.”

“Why? Why didn’t he jump?”

“He didn’t need to. He yelled, ‘Son Seungwan, you stand up right now’.” She facepalmed at her own retelling. “The water didn’t even reach my neck.”

Sooyoung's laugh boomed, echoing across the gym. “So you were always dramatic.”

“I was ten!”

“My point exactly.”

She threw a piece of broccoli at her and Sooyoung retaliated. They ended up with more vegetables on the floor and seats than in their mouths.

Seungwan didn’t know what to make of these moments. Maybe she was scared to figure it out. They churned up things buried deep. Things she had forgotten or turned into negatives. Like the sound of Sooyoung’s laugh when it came from deep in her belly. Laughs that knocked her over onto her side and scrunched up her eyes.

Or like the curve of her lips when she smiled.

Or like the texture of her voice.

Seungwan was caught by her voice one lunch period where Sooyoung was retelling a story about a wild party she and Yerim went to once. Seulgi had to pick them up before a fig