Part 1

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“I like to smell my own farts.”

Seungwan pinched the skin between her eyebrows. Compose yourself, compose yourself, compose yourself, she chanted over and over again. She had to admit this wasn’t the weirdest thing someone had ever admitted but it might’ve set the bar for the day. 

She couldn’t complain. Not exactly. The Secret Keeper Booth was her idea. She proposed it in a student council meeting and the committee was on board if only because no one really liked talking to the guidance counselor. He smelt like cheese and liked to pick his nails with a toothpick while students poured out their hearts about their dog of ten years dying. He was a nice man but sometimes it just didn’t cut it. So the students decided to take matters into their own hands. 

With the help of the theatre tech kids, they made a booth akin to a confessional—one side for the keepers and the other side for the Secret-ers. Secret Yellers? Mystery Men? Seungwan wasn’t keen on what to call them yet but they made do. 

And for the low price of one thousand won (all proceeds going to the school activities budget), you got seven minutes to tell your secrets and worries. 

“Is that weird?” The boy on the other side asked. 

Seungwan opened her eyes and sat up, checking the time on her wristwatch (since they weren’t allowed cell phones in the booth). Her shift had only started and she couldn’t wait to get out of there if this was the kind of thing she was going to hear all day. Unfortunately, there were still four minutes on the stopwatch for this session. 

The whole idea behind the booth was for students to tell real secrets and have real problems. It should be easy to do when you couldn’t see the other person’s face but she hated to admit it was things like this they heard more often than not. 

“Hello?”

She sighed. “The booth is only to tell your secrets. We cannot offer advice.”

“Why not?”

“Those are the rules.” As stated on every flier and posted on the outside of the booth for visitor convenience. 

“Then what’s the point?”

Seungwan clenched her jaw. She could give the usual spiel about how they weren’t licensed professionals and giving expert advice while not being experts themselves was against the law. Today she settled with,

“Sorry, but those are the rules.”

“Then I want my money back!”

She rolled her eyes just as her stopwatch beeped indicating seven minutes was done. 

“Your time is up.”

“Wait—“

“If you have any concerns, questions, or complaints please drop them into the mailbox at the student council room 7-D. Thank you for coming.”

With a grumble, he left and Seungwan slumped in her chair. Not the best start to her shift. 

The hinges whined as another visitor entered the booth. Seungwan propped an elbow on her knee and rested her chin against her fist. Only one guest in and she was already worn out. She didn’t have high hopes for the next. 

“Welcome to the Secret Keeper Booth where your secrets are safe and you can kiss your worries goodbye,” she droned. The slogan could use some refining. 

“Hello?” came a soft, velvety voice. Feminine. Light. 

Seungwan perked up a little bit at that. She sounded nice. Like she had something real to tell. 

“So, I’m just supposed to tell my secret and then I go?”

“That’s the idea.”

“I’m not going to get in trouble or anything am I?”

“All secrets are confidential unless they are cause for concern in which the guidance counselor will have to be notified.” And they were very serious about that rule. 

“But that’s for, like if you’re depressed or something, right?”

Seungwan winced. Not the most graceful or politically correct way to put it. “Or something.”

“Oh.” She paused. “I’m not depressed or anything! I’m fine. It’s not anything like that I just wanted to make sure.” 

“What brings you in today?” 

“I have a crush.”

Seungwan nodded though the girl couldn’t see her. Crushes were a common secret brought to the booth. They were simple but they were fun. Seungwan always enjoyed hearing the person talk about how great their crush was. How much they wanted to show them how much they liked them. Or how flustered they got just from seeing them. Her heart would warm with theirs and would ache with the sad tales of how their crush would never notice them or they liked someone else or they were just too good for them. 

“I know that’s not like crazy or anything,” the girl continued, “but it sort of freaks me out. Crushes aren’t my thing, you know? People crush on me not the other way around.”

Seungwan rolled her eyes with a smile. Whoever this was, she was confident. She must be popular. She sounded like one of the popular girls. The ones who weren’t afraid to state their opinion for all to hear and flaunted down the hallways with their holier than thou attitude. 

Seungwan used to think those types were untouchable. They used to intimidate her. But being in this booth getting to hear them confess secrets like this made her feel like she had a one-up on them even if she didn’t know their name or their face. 

“Anyway,” the girl started again, “It’s been bugging me but I can’t stop thinking about her.”

Seungwan choked. Literally. Saliva burned in and she coughed trying to dislodge it from her windpipe 

Wait. Her?

“Are you okay?”

She reached for her water bottle and furiously drank a gulp down. “I’m fine. Continue.”

“You’re not a homophone are you?”

“I think you mean homophobe.”

“Potato, tomato. I can’t be here if you’re going to judge me. I read the fine print.”

The No Judgement Clause that they inserted on the flier. Seungwan was actually surprised someone had read every detail she put into it. She appreciated this visitor. 

“I’m not judging you.”

“Good.” She cleared . “Because that’s not even the worst part. She’s a huge-freakin-nerd. I’m talking colossal! How is this possible? I’m too pretty for that.”

Wow. Okay. That was a little harsh but she was entitled to her own opinions and thoughts and judgments. 

“Not that she isn’t attractive because she is. She’d have to be, obviously.”

“Obviously.”

“Are you mocking me?”

Whoops. She couldn’t let real feelings show. They had to be objective. “No.”

“Uh-huh.” She didn’t sound convinced but she went on anyway. “It’s just that, this is all so unexpected. It’s made me seriously moody but I can’t tell my friends.”

Typical. Probably too embarrassed for that. 

“You’re really not going to tell anyone this, are you?”

“I don’t even know who you are.”

“So?”

“We are one hundred percent confidential.”

“Is that in writing or something?”

She pursed her lips. “If you’re worried, you don’t have to come back.”

“You’re the one who should be worried.”

That was menacing. 

Her stopwatch beeped. 

“Your time is up.”

“Wow. Great. Most disgusting seven minutes of my life.”

The door on the other side creaked and slammed shut as the girl left leaving Seungwan bemused. 

What an odd day this was. 

-/-/-/-

Swinging by the booth at the end of the day, Seungwan gathered the money box and headed to the student council room to drop it off. 

She found Joohyun, their fearless president, and the treasurer inside, discussing upcoming activity matters. She stayed with them for a bit, hashing out details until it got late and they decided to figure it out another day. 

Shouldering her bag, she walked out, bidding the others good night. It was late in the day and the halls were empty, void of most students who had already gone home and didn’t stick around for night classes. 

She started for the exit, trying to figure out what homework to hit first when she was hit with crippling dread. 

She heard laughing before she saw them. After school hours meant after school practices which meant them. The volleyball girls.

They were the pride of the athletic department along with the boy’s football team. They weren’t all bad but everyone acted like they ran the place. That admiration went to their heads and thus resulted in a pack of high horse hyenas who laughed in the face of authority and turned up their noses at those not deemed on their level. 

There were only three of them this time. Each ier than the first with their gym bags hanging off shoulders and knee pads pulled down to their ankles. 

Seungwan ducked her head, making herself as invisible and small as she could as she passed. She wasn’t scared of them per se. Based on success, they were technically on the same plane. Except they’d get athletic scholarships while she would take an academic one. She wasn’t intimidated but she knew better than to ignore social hierarchy. She knew better than to poke at the lions unless she wanted her head chopped off. 

She knew she wasn’t a lowlife the way they tried to make others feel but she steered clear anyway. Sticks and stones break bones but words were just as painful. 

Eyes down, she did her best to evade their scrutiny. If only it was that easy.

One of their bags clipped her on the hip, knocking them both back. She stumbled, catching herself on a set of lockers before she could trip over her feet and topple backward onto the floor. That was the last thing she wanted. Well, maybe the last-last thing she wanted because the real last thing she wanted was to be noticed. Noticed by her. 

But here she was, flattened against a set of lockers looking very much the loser she felt in the moment with her staring at her as if she had just disgraced the queen or something. To her, she might as well have considering the girl she ran into was Kang Seulgi, the captain of the volleyball team. 

But Seungwan wasn’t afraid of Seulgi. Seulgi wasn’t partial to lashing out or threats or snide remarks. She was easy-going if not a little shy which didn’t reflect itself when she was on the court knocking spikes against their opponents. Seungwan couldn’t say the same for her other teammate, however. And she didn’t mean Kim Yerim who was snickering behind a hand at her, eyes darting between everyone waiting for whatever torment was about to befall Seungwan’s poor unfortunate soul.

She meant Park Sooyoung. Her teammate with the stupid nice hair and the disgustingly charming laugh and the ridiculous toned legs and the overrated beauty that she knew she had and used it as a weapon against any and all who crossed her path. 

Sooyoung who she had the not so fortunate privilege of sharing a class with, having to watch as boys flirted with her and girls envied yet swooned over her and teachers let her off easy with the lame excuse of always having to practice. 

Sooyoung who sometimes peeked at her papers trying to steal answers and muttered comments under her breath when Seungwan was trying to deliver a presentation making the students around her giggle. 

Sooyoung who was a force that never seemed to go away and was always there. Always around. Always taunting her in the far most corners of her mind and wouldn’t get lost. 

Sooyoung who Seungwan couldn’t stand. She hated. 

“Accident prone much?” Sooyoung snipped. 

Seungwan wanted to bite back. She wanted to challenge her, knock her down, make her chest burn in embarrassment and her stomach go weightless but she had nothing. She was thrown off her game at the sudden appearance of Miss alicious in all her wonderfully fitted practice uniform glory. And she never did well with multiple people giving her attention all at once. 

“Sorry,” she mumbled. 

Sooyoung rolled her eyes and ushered Seulgi along asking her in the sweetest of voices if she was okay. Of course, Seulgi was okay. She wasn’t the one who got bulldozed by a gym bag the size of a semi-truck. Not that anyone noticed. Not that anyone cared. Not that Sooyoung cared.

Seungwan straightened herself out and stormed down the hallway wondering why she even cared in the first place. 

-/-/-/-

Same time as the previous day, and at the same time as the next, Seungwan took her place in the booth. Except she must’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed today because every single secret—

”I can put my entire fist in my mouth.”

“I wet the bed again last night but I can’t tell my mom or she’ll make me wear pull-ups again.”

“I cheated on my physics test?”

“My best friend is a moth named Fred.”

—was driving her insane. She had half a mind to go to Joohyun and tell her that they should take down the booth. That it wasn’t working the way they planned and the council members who took time out of their day to sit and listen to the woes of the student body were just sounding boards for weirdos to get their weird crap off their chest.

Except she knew what Joohyun would say. Something wise like, ”Just because it doesn’t mean anything to you doesn’t mean it doesn’t mean anything to them.” And that was why she was the president and Seungwan was her second.

“I hate her.”

Seungwan started back to attention, her fuming cut off short when she recognized the voice from the previous day. The girl was back and she was flustered. 

“Like, I seriously hate her.”

“Who?”

“My crush! Keep up, dingus.”

Dingus? Seungwan shook her head, letting it go. 

“Who does she think she is?” The girl seethed. Seungwan imagined steam coming out of her ears. ”Why can’t she stay in her own lane? Why does she have to cross mine?” She huffed before rushing to tack on, “and don’t say it’s because we both go to the same school. I know that but it’s hard!”

Seungwan smiled. Her interest was piqued, and despite rules about making too much conversation with the Secreteers (name work in progress), she couldn’t help but inquire more. “What happened?”

“She assaulted me! With her eyes.”

“Her eyes?” she deadpanned. High school students were so dramatic. She would know. She was one though she liked to think she had a little more sense and control than the average teen. 

“She has pretty eyes,” the girl muttered. “Pretty eyes for daggers, I guess. And she just goes around stabbing me with them. How am I supposed to cope with that? I’m already suffering enough from liking a”—she audibly shuddered—“nerd. Now she thinks she can just look at m