A break

Broken Flower: Lily
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Momo turns off the shower and reaches for a towel. She wraps it around her and walks over to the sink. Wiping the steam away from the mirror, she looks at her wet face. Tears or shower water? She doesn't know anymore. She only feels herself succumbing to that one single emotion--- self-pity. She has never pitted herself and something deep within her is telling her to pull herself together. 'Right' she says aloud, 'You may cry in the shower but nowhere else. You are going to be strong. For your baby' She gives a brave smile but immediately feels the onset of tears again.

 


Momo breathes out slowly. The sigh works as a reset button for her emotions, allowing herself to be optimistic, to think rationally and logically. Her emotional, impulsive brain was overriding her rational one and shutting it down. She had been in a great emotional wreck these days. It drove her crazy, all of those unbearable emotions all flooding inside her. It was too much, she needs a break. Even for a few hours, she needs to be okay. At least, in front of her sisters. 

 


Momo wears some foundation to cover up her swollen and darken eyes then a red lipstick. It's done to lighten her face, making sure she looks alive and presentable. She walks out of her room and descends the stairs, stopping midway when she heard the sound of utensil coming from the kitchen. She follows the sound and leans against the wall, staring at Sana's back view. She smiles and lightly knocks the wall, "Need a helping hand?"

 


Sana flinches out of surprise. She quickly turns around, smiling when their eyes meet, "Momo, it's okay. I'm almost done, take a sit" she carefully carries a pot to the dining table and set it down. She takes off her apron and oven mitt before taking a bowl of rice for Momo, "I make you some beef soup and we have jokbal too"

 


Momo sits across her and propped her chin in the palm of her right hand, elbow resting in the table. She smirks with a teasing look, "Make or order?"

 


Sana tilts her head and hums, "Well, I heated it so make."

 


Momo chuckles and thank her for the food, she picks her utensil and eats a big spoonful of rice. She is extremely hungry with no appetite. She has been eating excessive food this past few days since she was just hungry. Unexplainable hunger that she thought is caused by her pregnancy. And thus she keeps eating. But soon she realizes, it's not because of her pregnancy, not even close. 

 


She recognizes that she would eat in order to plug her anger and sadness. She feels low and eager to suppress the negative feelings. Thus, she eats her way out of it. Food becomes an escape. She fills the terrible void with food. She ate and cried herself to sleep every night, but nothing could ever make up for the loneliness and emptiness. For her, food is an inadequate substitute for love, respect. It creates a false feeling of fullness or temporary wholeness. She knows it's wrong but she can't help herself out of it. Indeed, her vomiting act afterwards was also a violent act. 

 


Sana stares at her sister, aware that she is having an emotional hunger. That's how Momo cope up when things get hard. It had been always like that even when they were still kids. Momo sometimes couldn't understand the difference between physical and emotional hunger. Whenever she was upset or sad. When she didn't get the attention or love that she wants, she looks for food as a replacement. 

 


Sana doesn't say anything as she watches Momo forcing herself to eat, swallowing the same big spoonful of rice. She pours a glass of water and slides it across the table, "Eat slowly" 

 


Momo glance at her, and continues eating. She's able to detect that concerned expression all over Sana's face, "Don't give me that look. I'm alright."

 


Sana recalls what the doctor had told them regarding Momo's condition. The latter was unconscious when she had brought her home. She had called a physician to make a checkup on her since she had a high fever. That was when the doctor notified them, "Why didn't you inform us about your pregnancy?" Sana asks. She's a little upset that Momo keeps it a secret for months without telling them, her family. 

 


Momo halts, this is the first time Sana brings the topic and she doesn't know her sister is aware of her pregnancy. Momo shrugs and proceeds adding another bowl of rice, "I forgot"

 


"Is it because of me?" A voice interrupts.

 

 

Sana turns to the source and impulsively raises from her seat. Shocked by the appearance, "M-mina, how long have you been standing there?" She asks, afraid of how much the girl has heard.

 


Mina stands near the wall with both her hand clasped behind her. She figures out Momo must have felt burdened and guilty to tell them about her pregnancy, mainly because of her. Momo doesn't want to hurt her feelings and made her reminded by all the pain that she had gone through. She understands. She won't deny that jealousy and grief do hit her. But, momo didn't have to feel that way because, "Unnie, I'm genuinely happy for your pregnancy." Mina smiles.

 

 

Momo put her utens

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Comments

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imnobdy #1
Chapter 39: Please update author nim and thank you so much for writing this I can't wait
victoriamattos
#2
Chapter 39: I 100% hope this story has an ending at some point. I dare say that it gripped me in an inexplicable way (I would even ask your permission to translate it - the two stories in vdd). A remarkable plot, totally triggered that almost killed me and made me sleep little. thank you author
delulume
#3
Chapter 39: ????
k1y4n34r4 #4
Chapter 38: Ouch, my heart, authornimm (T^T) (T^T)
delulume
#5
Chapter 38: Omg what is thisss i need to reread 🥺
jenlisa-seulrene
#6
Chapter 38: Welcome back author-Nim,sooooo happy2see u and seems like things are getting a little better XD pls make this fic a happy ending
LittleD_from_nowhere #7
Pls update, author-nimmm :'((((
krina_love
#8
Chapter 36: U made me speechless...how can everything be this perfect...like everything is linked and ur words moved my feelings to its fullest...now i can only wait for what's coming nex even tho i wish i can know now TT
lola222 #9
Chapter 35: I don't know what to say, I just hope that Jeongyeon pays for all his crimes, Tzuyu just think a little more, can you
krina_love
#10
Chapter 35: I love the mind of jeongyeon like he is a good planner and he knows the consequences yet accepted them to achieve his revenge...even tho i am curious now about the whole story of his family...also tzuyu now must be shocked ...he has to lose his image so he won't lose his fiancee sana